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People seem to be telling you to break up (classic reddit) but in my opinion you could simply reduce your horniness.
I don't know if that only works for me but I went from wanking 3 times a day to not fap at all. Try to get into no fap brother, it does make you less horny over time.
Try to never fap and only nut with sexual intercourse with your gf. I'm pretty sure you'll get less horny. Fapping is addictive, it's like a drug. Cure yourself from it.
I am so proud of you. You are a strong woman! Look at you. Standing up for yourself after being wise enough to self reflect and realize what you want. Then standing your ground and taking the risk of building a new life elsewhere. Honestly, you are a hero! Screw all those other people. You girl are a rockstar!
I think it's a cute gift and if you think that she is worthy of it then nothing else matters
She sounds extremely immature, look for someone more responsible and emotionally stable.
At first i thought u were jealous that ur friend had a girlfriend but now I’m thinking ur jealous of the girlfriend…
do something asap. cover your ass.
I saw you already talked to him about this problem, thats a good first step but it doesnt sound like he sees a problem with your sex life which already shows he doesnt care about your sexual pleasure.
Also, just be prepared for the relationship to possibly be ruined by this possibility. Either from him breaking up with you after bringing it up or afterwards if the relationship is opened or not.
So move on?
I'm so so sorry that happened to you, I honestly believe fathers in general deserve a lot more from the courts. At first my sister was granted over all more time because one of the children had just been born and her ex didn't have a house so the kids couldn't stay over night, but now it's 50/50 because he finally moved out of his sister's place
This is the more accurate OP should've gone with tbh.
When I broke up with my boyfriend, it was one of the worst things I experienced. I could barely eat, had to sleep with the lights on, and could barely function. What helped was leaning on my friends. We’d get together a couple times a week and jog around the park. I started looking forward to it. Then we started hanging out and doing other fun things. When I was sad, I’d call them. Sometimes just hearing them talk helped.
Lean on your friends. If not, go to the gym. If you love animals and are capable of properly taking care of one, rescue a pet.
Eventually it’ll reach a point where you’ll look back and get chills thinking about how your life would’ve been if you stayed with her.
ask him why he's acting this way. At least see if he'll acknowledge that he's acting out of character and if he does you guys can work on figuring out why and how to help him get back to normal.
I don't know your exact circumstances, but from your post it sounds like he started the violent situation. It is natural to “act crazy” when someone drives you to that. Breaking a TV from anger is a f*cked up thing to do, but how are you supposed to react rationally to irrational situations? You also had a lot more that was pilling up leading you to such a reaction. It was very wrong, and I would understand putting an end there, but it doesn't mean the fault is yours.
I actually also have 2 cats with my now ex lol I honestly suffer more about thinking of leaving them than leaving my ex. I am holding on to the fact that my ex claims she can keep them and will be happy to keep them, and that maybe in some months I can take the cats with me (I don't trust her much to take great care of them and can't stop thinking about how dirty the house will be without me, but it's still not something that should keep me there).
Guy, you're hung up on some weird silly high school bro code. It's not real. It's not a big deal.
Maybe you're the narcissist, considering how you're trying to reframe OP's own words and experiences to make yourself the only enlightened intellectual that can see through her.
I don’t know how many partners I have had
?!
Excuse me? Maybe you should realize that it’s not just looks. You clearly don’t think guys are interested in girls for more than looks
You should get out of that mindset. Seriously
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Ive never thought about it like that. Thank you.
Wait so he hasn’t had a cellphone in a year?! Please leave omg. Your life will be so much better
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??? If they're work friends what's wrong with having their number? I have the phone numbers of plenty of my coworkers and I promise, I have no intention of sleeping with any of them lmao.
She’s FaceTiming with him though. So unless he’s a hell of a lookalike she’s not being catfished
She saw him being a victim of female perpetrated intimate partner violence as a relationship green flag? Why do you think that?
Exactly. I feel like the wedding was the last possible moment that he could have salvaged it. After that it'll be quite very hot to fix the relationship. It's like you said she walked down the aisle fatherless.
I know that I was my grandparents first grandchild and at the time my parents and my dad's parents were fully no contact for a litany of reasons. My grandparents tried pulling the same shit getting my aunt to guilt trip my parents. In the end they relented but only after my grandpa showed up on their doorstep to apologize.
Whether he was only apologizing because of me I can't really say whether or not he meant it, but it worked.
They were just as bad if not worse than OPs dad and my parents forgave them. The rest is history. All OPs dad probably* has to do is call his daughter up and give a meaningful apology. If he can't do that and the best he can do is send a sibling then too bad.
If he felt comfortable and bold enough to do this in your own home to your sister, ask yourself how often he cheated before.
Thanks!! 🙂
Your lesson is a on-line and learn one unfortunately. Been there before- this is what I learned. 1. Don’t commit to someone who doesn’t commit to you 2. On and off is not a real relationship. He unfortunately was using you until he found someone else. Just know this has NOTHING to do with you, just your lack of self worth/boundaries. Easy fix now that you know better. 3. You almost spoke this into existence (matter of time etc language) – don’t do that. You’re worTh so much more than this. 4. Men don’t emotionally mature until 43. You need to date OLDER. 24 yo guys are so immature it’s unreal.
Take a rest day and try not to compare to this girl. The problem is not her vs you. It’s you vs your OWN self worth and boundaries. I think you need to read the book “why men love bitches” – it’s so good and super insightful, and will 100% help get your confidence back!
You’ll be over this dumbass in no time ?
Healthy relationships communicate issues before they escalate to the point of breaking up. You’re totally allowed to break up with her, if you wish. If you’re wanting it to work out, however, you need to have a calm and level headed conversation about your concerns and feelings.
Follow your gut feeling or make it as clear as possible to her that you are only interested in a relationship and leave it at that. If, however, you know for sure that she has no interest in you whatsoever, then I believe it's best to go no contact and to act as if she doesn't exist.
No. She doesn't respect you. I promise you, she will step out on you again.
I'm not going to lie, ThrowRAAssBlasted, if there's a similar story which is what your Father went through I can't help but picture this in a positively hilarious “6 months earlier” type flashback which led to your Father trying to delay the visit in every which way possible……ironically enough had they turned up earlier it would've been while you were sipping a very hot beverage, reading a newspaper while mountain of a man was in a little apron making scones.
My morning is now irreparably full of how this could span a full season as a comedy.
All this aside – it sounds like things will be absolutely fine, you'll have (another?) embarrassing story you can reflect on but more importantly – further cake opportunities.
It's more about dating people her age so as to avoid a skewed power-dynamic that happens when you're in two completely different places in life.
He abuses her too, some of it physical.
” Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26, and we were of that disposition.” – high fidelity
As a recovering addict myself, GET OUT.
He needs to be focused on his recovery instead of being in a new relationship. And you do NOT want to get into this.
He's clearly not ready to be clean. BELIEVE me, you WILL regret it if you stay.
It's a difficult one – my feeling now is to get it out the way earlier to avoid incompatibility issues later. However I did tell her my kinks, including that her wearing them would turn me on. It only became an issue when it registered that I'd actually worn them myself.
That's not your call, it's theirs. Respect their decision, get some help, and wait it out. I would guess that they don't want to give it to you for a very good reason. You may be going through a lot, but I guarantee his family is going through more, show some empathy and maybe someday they will give it to you.
There are things you can do which help, but your husband also needs to be flexible.
My husband often worked when my mother visited, and, since he left for work early, he wouldn't see her till evening. My mother and I went away a lot at weekends to visit interesting places, which also helped, and usually also took a week's holiday together somewhere during her visits. She generally visited for 4 to 8 weeks once a year, so I made a big effort to give my husband space.
In addition, my husband learned my language, so he never felt excluded from the conversation when people visited from my home country. He thought it was important that I was able to speak my language in my own home. I think it's fair that if you marry someone, you make the effort to learn their language and understand their culture, otherwise you never really understand them. You should also understand that your spouse has relatives and friends who will want to visit and find a way to make that work. You can rent an airbnb if you are short of space.
Just try to remind yourself that you can move out if it gets too difficult and this change is not permanent. I don’t know if you have any other living arrangement. He has been with you for 5 years so he has somewhat of an idea what you are experiencing. If he loves you the way you described, he will understand if you explain why cohabiting is difficult. But if you really don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to force yourself to move in with him. As this might have the opposite effect of why you are moving in together in the first place.
If you check your feelings of entitlement to the shared space she has continued to pay for, and your saltiness over the friendship, you can have a perfectly amiable roommate relationship going forward.
Tell her that since she's been gone a while it might be a good idea to chat about how to keep the shared space comfortable for two people again. Don't be a dick and tell her how much more you love it when she's gone and just paying half your rent. Instead, agree on things like:
Quiet hours When cleaning needs to be done how long can dishes be left out Designate a place for her to put your things if you leave them out Respect privacy when in your rooms
Keep it civil and now you know you'll want to on-line alone when you can.
The LITERAL definition of sexual assault is unwanted forcible touching in a sexual manner- i.e. touching someone where their bathing suit covers, without their consent. For men it's anus, testicles, and penises. For women it's vaginas, breasts, and anuses. It is not limited to but can include digital (finger) penetration, oral sex, and penetrative sex using another body part or an object. It includes caressing, prodding, and fondling/groping. Sexual harassment is unwanted sexual attention.
None of her touching was sexual.
You gf is horrible. How long ago? Blood test might show she drugged you. Best evidence to go to police and useful evidence to show your gf. But it won’t change her horrible response.
I feel taken advantage of and I’m not sure how to heal from this
You leave.
What temp are we talking? My sister used to complain that 70 deg for the thermostat was freezing and not normal back when we lived together. Obviously, it’s not.
I don't think that our thoughts on porn in relationships in general will be very helpful to you. (I think it's probably normal and fine, for what it's worth.) You have very specific issues based on your past and your experience that few of us will have shared. I think you should probably work on those issues with an individual therapist.
Eh. She married a cop. She knew she was signing up for domestic abuse, him cheating is the least of her worries.
Happy Cake Day
Dude. Get a grip. A 17 and 20 year old isn’t “groomer” territory. It’s a freshman and sophomore/junior in college. There’s 8 million ways for a 17 and 20 year old to organically meet and be attracted to one another.
My bf works at sea 3 months on / 3 months off and part of the reason that works for him is because he has a slightly avoidant attachment type. This could be true for your bf too, not just because of the line of work but because you say you lean anxious and we usually chase our opposites.
It’s totally normal to move from the honeymoon / infatuation stage into something more steady, but 8 months is pretty fast for that. It’s also very soon for him to on-line with you while not working – I totally get that it’s only half the time due to the nature of his work, but it means he has no place of his own – at work he’s sleeping at work; at home he’s with you. That will accelerate the end of the honeymoon / courtship phase.
The other thing here though is that BECAUSE this relationship isn’t toxic, it’s going to feel very different to you than your earlier experiences. Less volatile, and for some that can, paradoxically, feel less romantic.
I think it’d be worthwhile to do some reading and work on attachment styles and love languages, for both of you and regardless of what conclusions he comes to this weekend.
I think you’re 100% in the right. They want the stability but don’t want you. Kind of sad honestly my step dad was great and is a second dad and honestly is better at a lot of thing then bio dad. I would leave before things leave on a sour note.
Please listen to everything everyone is advisimg you here. He is escalating. He will eventually do the very thing he threatens you with.
You need to make a plan to safely escape this abusive marriage.
Why won't he apologize???
Because there is more abuse coming your way. He isn't sorry because he meant everything he did and said.
If you’ve had so many successful ones why the need to keep having new ones? Sounds like they’re failing.
he's hardcore gaslighting you, either break up or tell him he has a choice to make
Oh sweet, someone that's hinting “this is your fault because you don't fuck enough”. Let me guess, Peterson/Tate fanboy?
It's probably better for both of you if you transition into a platonic friendship.
He's something else to love them and not realize they were implants. Then, dislike them because they are.
He wants the implant look and probably feel but not the implant. I bet he wouldn't know a natural boob if it smacked him in the face, he'd probably think they were yucky. Especially since they're often different sizes and hang different than implants.
Sounds like you've found out he's not the right guy for you. Imagine his horror when age and gravity affect the boobs.
or perhaps give him a cunt punt? sorry, your username is just great lol.
I want sex too. I just don’t know how to tell him I’ve never done it.
Dude's projecting
He admitted in the text that he has his hands around your throat. Let him know your considering pressing charges as well, he will go away real quick
So she encourages you to take in your son but she’s ripping your 4 other children away from you? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever
Or just us pointing out that with so little knowledge of the situation, we can't assume he didn't ask. We literally have no idea
This does not bode well for if you ever have children with this red flag and something happens to your next job. She WILL take everything away from you.
Tell him to f off.
Boys don’t make us happy, cats do. I’m so happy you were able to get your baby back OP ? now you can start your new chapter with Benji
Christ lady, get some therapy. You sound beyond smothering and literally unable to see your son as his own person and not an extension of yourself. Your ego and overbearing parenting are driving your son further away and you still don't see it. You are the problem, not him. He doesn't need your input when it comes to making personal decisions.. Seriously, work on yourself, this isn't healthy.
You break up with your Girlfriend, and tell her the truth. The best thing for both of you is that you don't waste any more time.
Afterwards, go date people you're attracted to.
Stop paying her rent saying you’re saving up for when the car parts get stolen. Better yet, move out. Your mom is an adult, she expects you to care for your own business and truck with no help or the minimal discomfort from her, so you can do the same. If you (in her opinion) can pay your deductible every time you get stuff stolen, she can find new people to rent parts of her house too. ??
Welp, he's gonna learn one way or the other to listen…
I was taking biotin and I turned a bit yellow. My bilirubin was 2.4 at the highest. It's probably the supplements, but he should really go to the doctor to make sure.
You both sound horrible to each other. This is toxic af. My advice is to move on.
I also am OVER a foot taller than my fiancée and never had an issue that a wedge pillow couldn’t fix.
This is a classic case of “what came to an end should stay an end”.
You’re in serious denial if you think your relationship is happy or loving
Firstly, that really sucks, and it’s entirely normal to feel awful about it. Whatever the course, this seems like something best worked out before actually getting married. If you’ve been together seven years and it’s still an issue, it seems unlikely to go away on its own, and sexual incompatibility is really very hot on a relationship, as you well know.
Your “life as you know it” is what has brought you here. I’m sorry, I know it’s a tough crossroads. You set your boundary, he trampled all over it. It’s up to you to stick to your guns or bow under to his disregard to your feelings. If you stay it will likely get worse because you’d have caved already. If you go, I hope you have good support to get through the upheaval.
Not necessarily. I know that I likely won’t stay single forever if I leave, I don’t want to hurt someone else, and if I’m that messed up in the head, do you know the saying about people who deserve each other so that they’re saving the rest of the dating pool? If I want him so bad i guess the only one getting hurt is me vs me hurting other people and him hurting other people.
Obviously it’s delusional but if you couldn’t tell my opinion of myself isn’t exactly at at all time high anymore.
If you aren’t running away screaming, you’re closer to a white knight than “rebound guy.”
Hi, thank you for your response. I ended up confronting her about this, but instead of showing remorse, she became defensive, got mad at me and gave me the silent treatment. Eventually, she herself said she will block him – so I let this slide (like an idiot). But today I found out that their SnapStreak is still going strong and she is still in touch with him. Today she is at her college re-union (even her ex is there), and she shamelessly told me that she has asked her ex to drop her off after the reunion because she doesn't want to spend money on a cab. She even planned this with him before going to the reunion and only mentioned it to me over the phone like it was no big deal. Apparently he is also coming super late and she is still choosing to stay and come back with him rather than just taking a cab. I didn't react during the call, but I've decided that I'm done with this relationship. I'm heartbroken, I hate myself and I wish I hadn't let this reach till here. But I'm done. F*** her.
The guy sounds unhinged. Dump his controlling, childish ass and go get your bag, sis!!
20 years ago it was an issue, these days not so much.
As someone who is approaching 60 (which I still find very hot to believe) I know I would never go for someone as young as yourself however if I found myself single (not going to happen btw) then my limit would be no more than 12 to 13 years younger.
If you were in your 20's I'd say definitely not, but at 37 it's not like you are some kid. Not disparaging your age but more drawing the line that you have sufficient life experience for it not to be an issue.
Even if he doesn't like animals can't he see how important she is to you? Your love for her just oozes through this post and he should be more patient with YOU about the dog. He can be annoyed all he wants but 3 kids are 100 times more annoying than any dog. You adapt when you love someone. He needs to adapt. Quickly.
Please let it all out, I feel like you know this not cool. Even if you can't label it cheating it's still really upsetting.
Do you feel like what he said was a genuine reason or a quick thought up excuse? I've heard of guys going elsewhere when they're SO isn't putting out, it doesn't make it ok, but from what you've said you guys are doing the deed, you're happy to, it's just that he's got a condition. If he doesn't like your disappointment he can just get in touch with a lesbian and find out all the tricks.
What's going on?