?, ??????-??????? on-line sex cams for YOU!
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Bye old boyfriend cuz it's time to find one with an actual heart
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It's an us problem. I love him more than anyone I've ever dated. We've loved each other for years. I'm not giving up this easily.
Info:
When she’s like this what’s her behaviour like? Is she placid?
Is she taking drugs?
Is she verbally/physically abusive?
I don't know about anyone else, but I am very curious to know how old OP is. He married a 23 year old sheltered girl raised in a religiously abusive household, and still manages to call her mom a “nice person”. Yet he also complains that she acts like a child.
Dump this cheater. Keep the cat.
Problem with this is, you’re situation is emotional, that’s what your husband had a problem with. I don’t blame him for feeling this way, but that’s what happens when you play with fire.
I did get one just in case
The last sentence on your initial comment is pretty insulting my person. You know Jack shit about my upbringing.
And to clarify, I never stated my point of view on this. I said that mainstream Internet makes it seem like men can't cry.
Ok
I've said that to her before and her response is “yeah almost zero but not zero, there's still a chance.”
BAIL. youre not responsible for this dudes mental health and he NEEDS to get help BEFORE he gets into a serious relationship.
Ok if someone, ANYONE did this to my cat I'd see red and rugby tackle them off my cat.. what the hell are you playing at
totally agree, i think it’s unnecessary. that part of your life should be closed and shut.
I actually give him a bit of a pass on the bitchy comment that made you cry. In the context of everything else, it's not surprising.
The 'everything else' is a big problem though. IF your boyfriend isn't just an asshole, then he has an unmanaged medical condition. This isn't normal, and he needs to address it before he potentially causes himself serious harm. If he refuses to address it, then revisit the 'is he an asshole' question.
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Tell him the truth: you weren't ready then and you'd like to now.
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I do agree with you and your boyfriend that his brother has ulterior motives. I suppose your boyfriend is convinced that you’ve encouraged his brother in some way, which it doesn’t sound like you have, but obviously no way of knowing on my end. I think, as others have said, your boyfriend needs to set some boundaries with his brother and stop making you the problem.
For the love of God don't get married at 21 girl
I knew you worked on the letter for weeks but it just seem weird that you knowing your gf, having a short attention span, absent-minded etc., expect her to read it.
Does she always read letters? Is she even the reading type?
I know of people proposing to their partners via everyday common activities, because that is a sure way that the partner will be involved in the activity and be surprised by the proposal.
(that may be fast for some people but it feels natural in our relationship)
Have you and your gf talked about marriage, living together etc.? What is her take on it?
it was just first time I made it apparent I saw him as a creep. That's what made him stop.
Yes. When he realised it was distressing to you.
You really need to talk to a psychologist and work through these issues. Having nightmares waking up covered in sweat, and not bring able to walk in front of men (50% of the population) is no way to live. There's nothing anyone on this sub can say that will help you, other than see a psychologist.
Have you tried having a very blunt, up front conversation with your wife about your relationship and what you're thinking and feeling? Have you actually said “I am ready to divorce because I can't keep living like this?”
Something is going on with your wife that caused her to check out so completely. If she knows that you are ready to leave, that might get her to actually talk to you about what is going on, and it might push her to start trying to fix her issues. Granted, that doesn't mean you can't decide it's already too late, but if there is any desire in you to try and save your marriage, having a frank, honest conversation about where your head is at is the best place to start.
It's not really your business ?♀️
The exact number is irrelevant really. You planned the fiodyou bought based on a set number per person. He stuffed himself stupid with no consideration to anyone else to the point you had to order MORE. That is not normal.
Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn
I mean it’s up to you. If you’re clean it wouldn’t bother me personally but it’s up to how you feel (and if you do decide to TRIM do not shave. The grow back stubble on your ass is the itchiest thing I’ve ever experienced lmao) Hope you both have a good time!
So clarify what u expecting him do?
Now you’ve learned not to play fight
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Look, you're not seeing the real him. You're seeing the fresh spark of lust version. Respect yourself and others by not getting involved with someone that is married/committed to someone else. Remember that if someone that is married/committed to someone will be willing to cheat on their partner, they most definitely would do it to you. Don't be naive and you're not the “special” one that will change him. He clearly lacks respect and can't even give his current partner basic respect. Mixing work and love is stressful and communication is key in a relationship. He may be giving that attention and communication to you now, but that will go away. You are young and on a real note, he only wants you for the excitement. Realistically, if he was going to leave his wife, he would have by now. Find someone more your age and closer to you, have fun. Learn who you are, but don't waste your time on a man almost double your age when you still have so much growing to do on your own. End it and move on and the sooner the better because you should respect other relationships or yours will never be respected.
1) Stop having sex with him. 2) Get away from him. 3) Report him for rape.
Never stick around for the second fourth punch.
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Do you compliment him in daily life when he is not putting in effort?
Answer is probably no.
But does that mean you don't find him attractive?
Also, I couldn’t get an abortion because I don’t have that kind of financial support, and he also kept saying he would help me with the child.
15.
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If your bf of 2 years dumped you for asking to see a text for a girl who was openly flirting with him, he was hiding something. If a guy was flirting with me that openly on the job and my bf asked to see everything he sent me, I wouldn’t blame him. I’m sorry this caused the end of your relationship. He should have been able to put himself in your shoes and see how paranoid he would have been.
Big big yikes.
I feel like it’s gotten worse recently. Most of the posts I see at the moment have a crazy amount of vitriol in them.
do you tell women who feel uncomfortable with their men colleagues to just stick with it
Literally nobody said that. They said, “that’s risky in a work environment”, and that's a true statement.
There shouldn't be such risk, certainly. But the reality is that OP's boyfriend needs to navigate this situation as best he can. None of us knows what his work environment is like, or whether his leadership can be trusted to do the right thing.
If after three years he is still so worried about his parents perception of you, that he cancelled your vacation, I would be SERIOUSLY rethinking moving to another country with him.
Nah fuck that. I'm tired of this “I didn't raise you like that” nonsense. Parents want all the credit for a good kid but dodge all accountability for shit kids.
She also buried a child, and that level of grief will shred your mind. I've been cheated on in some cruel ways, but I know that some people aren't malicious, and going off their rocker is a human experience.
It was over a decade ago. He said they worked past it. And up until medical problems caused major changes in her brain chemistry, he said everything was great.
To leave her now while medically struggling, just smacks of punishment and revenge for what they had already addressed and worked through.
Plus, not once did he mention anything other than his happiness. His biggest complaint is that he doesn't wanna do housework. She's sick, not just a lazy bum. She's not betraying him. She's struggling, and he won't take it seriously because he thinks the time limit for healing is up.
He said his only options are to do the cleaning himself or get mad and yell. I wonder if he ever considered just…talking to her. He only seems to care that she's not doing what he thinks she should be. He jumped from everything was great, we've been through so much, I was so happy in my marriage. To divorce with no in-between. Sounds more like he's looking for an excuse to bail and wants validation on his decision.
Which if he wants to leave fine, that's his prerogative, but he shouldn't use her illnesses and lack of housecleaning as a reason. Besides a messy house, and sleeping through lunch time, there isn't any reason to assume she's a danger to the kids. Especially since the kids arent starving and are capable of feeding themselves. Plus, he doesn't even say how dirty the house is. So he could be being anal about the cleanliness, judging by how he described her as house proud.
The only time he shows that he tried to be supportive was when he told her to quit a six hour a week job, which she likely used to get out of the house, to focus on healing and housework. Housework and healing don't go hand in hand very well. And if I was drowning in depression (which her job probably helped with) and someone said that to me, it would hit me like they don't actually care about my healing, only if I'm cleaning up after them.
6 inches is above average in that US and in some parts of Europes. 6 inches is considered average in some African nation. This has been scientifically proven. Congrats you have a big dick unfortunately your gf is trash. You should probably get rid of her and find another girl.
Everyone assuming the poster is black but at no point did they say they were black…
In regards to what if you cut him off you mean? He said he only wanted friendship.
Do you have any trusted older female friends to give you some emotional support. Aunts, cushions, mums friends?
Your not alone. Just be polite and firm.
Well, but her circumstances have still changed dramatically, which likely means she is now feeling like she needs other friends. She is also presumably pretty busy, sorting out her new life, making new friends and getting on top of her new circumstances. I’m not trying to justify her actions, but in my experiences it is honestly pretty normal. You likely didn’t do anything wrong, she’s just in a different phase of her life.
I guess what surprises me most is, that you keep trying and trying, despite your ex friend’s clear lack of interest.
Yup. Not compatible. You got that right.
You know you have to stop following him on social media. And remember the reasons it didn't work out. It will be the same reason it won't work out for this new girl. He isn't going to change because you perceive her to be prettier than you. If he treated you poorly just because he thought you weren't pretty enough for him. He'll do that to her regardless of how pretty she is. If you need to write down all the reasons you didn't want to be with him and wanted distance. Don't focus on anything nice because you tried to work for a year and couldn't. so even if everything but just one thing was perfect you have to focus on the one thing that makes him wrong for you.
Thanks for your input, I guess?
Is that exactly fair though? As a partner to an excessive crier, it’s incredibly difficult dealing with conflict in the relationship due to this. Like OP’s husband, I prefer discussing things in a mature, measured way, so when the crying starts that only serves to derail the conversation.
Be upfront, especially if you really like her. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
If he never makes the food, he’s not going to know how.
I don’t think beating him up over something that you’re choosing to do for him is a good way to go about this.
Yes absolutely. Can you imagine your ex having to deal with suddenly seeing your fecund partner with no warning and having to try and act like (a) she knew and is cool with it and (b) she’s not dying inside trying to be cool about it
She will see it as you shoving it in her face about her childlessness and your fertility.
On the bright side, now you have 5 days to separate your stuff and start moving on. Get a plan in place – she clearly has one already.
Six months in, and he's going on about how your bestie is “disrespecting” him cos of a phone call? Did he also beat his chest like a gorilla when he said it? JFC.
A man TEN YEARS OLDER THAN YOU is already showing massive red flags that he's a controlling dickhead. There's a reason nobody else wants to date him. Also, don't you dare ditch a best friend of ten years for any boyfriend. Just because you have friends that are guys, does not mean you have to give them up to be in a relationship. A boyfriend should want to be friends with your friends, and it's wildly inappropriate what this asshole is doing. Going through your phone?! Telling you who you can and cannot be friends with?! After SIX MONTHS this idiot thinks he fucking owns you.
Maybe you should tell him that actually, he has disrespected you, and you aren't in to guys not getting along with your friends.
Just for some perspective, I have been with my partner for 12yrs. We have known eachother since we were 15, but only got together at 25. He is one year older than me. He never got jealous of me txting or calling my guy mates at any time of the day or night. He has NEVER EVER gone through my phone. He has become friends with all my guy friends, and they have become his friends too. He actually gets along with some of them better than I do since they have more hobbies in common.
You are too young to waste this time in your 20's on someone who is going to lock you down and control your life. Get out right the fuck now before he ruins your life. It's six months in and he's pulling this controlling and manipulative crap already! He is insecure, and this is a classic example of a man who is a cheater himself, but spends all his time obsessing over you being the one doing him wrong.
Never give up your close and trusted friends for guy. Your friends have had your back for years. You grew up together, have been through a lot together. Nobody has the right to demand you cut off your support. I dumped a guy once cos he was a jerk to my guy mates. I have no tolerance for out of control egos, or childish behaviour coming from grown adults. I don't need that kind of bullshit in my life, and neither do you! That kind of crap is not about love. It's about ownership, insecurity, and immaturity. He's 36yrs old! He's four years away from 40, and he still hasn't grown up. It's also not your job to “fix him”. He's not fixable. He's an abuser who is starting to show his true personality. It only gets worse from here if you stay.
I handle gore better bro. Ripping some ones heart out? Fine enough, but pulling chunksof teeth out wtf eww
Thanks for the reply, and I agree, I don’t care about past, it’s just when your together for 5 years it just feels different to me like it being in between.
You are incredibly entitled. He takes you to restaurants with Michelin stars and you complain about him on Reddit. Stop letting this poor guy pay for you
they both have obligations to that commitment now.
She's taken care of those obligations for two decades, while he has not. It's perfectly reasonable for her to let go of the rope.
How do I say this nicely to her? She has basically given me an ultimatum of unless he stops coming over so often, she will move back home, so It's a lose lose for me. i understand that she might not be doing that on purpose and just saying it because thats how she feels, but it does make me feel awkward.
He hates the idea of letting others down or having them be disappointed in him.
I hate people coming to work sick. It’s so awkward avoiding them. I’m not trying to be mean, but his niceness seems to be driven by anxiety and fear of failure rather than care for other people. He shouldn’t be at work sick if he genuinely cares about other people and being anxious about letting people down is a burden he has to handle if he wants to keep people safe.
Your relationship sucks if her level of attraction to you is dictated by the length of your hair.
Maybe then you should go away on holiday without him. Let him experience what his world would be like if you were to remove yourself and your children from the family home. Tell him it’s a test run.
I don’t think you actually want advice judging from your comments.
Either way I say meet in the middle. It’s your house but you need to respect people that live with you. Just put on shorts instead of boxers. Having no shirt on is fine.
Basketball shorts are thicker and cover more.
Just bare boxers can be too much for some
That is for you to decide.
There's nothing to salavage, it's never been about anything except the money for her.
This. You ‘need’ neither of these ‘men’ in your life.
You both need to sit down together and talk seriously about what you both see happening. Is a long distance relationship possible for both of you? What are the long term goals if the relationship is able to keep up with the distance?
In trauma, he’s going to react in one of 4 ways. Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. He froze, he was frozen with indecision, after a day of thought , he want you to go to the cops. Now are you dating because you love him, or because you want a free bodyguard? He’s going to be a lousy bodyguard if he freezes up.
And when it’s enough to have a funny accent to undo all that willpower to overcome challenges.
That doesn't explain the lack of contribution in the household.
Either way, I packed up my stuff and left the apartment because I feel like my girlfriend just accused me of being one of the worst things a man can be.
Man I’m with you there. That would cut, deep, especially after 6 years. If you want to end this, I think you would be entirely justified.
Is this the first time something like this has happened? Where she has “absorbed” something going on around her and applied it to your relationship? My reason for asking is I dated a girl like that one time, she would see something on the news or on Tik Tok and immediately think it applied to our relationship, and believe me, that gets exhausting and it does not improve. If she is willing to entertain the idea that her BF she has known for 6 years could be some sort of closet abuser, and thinks a background check or therapy is going to say yep, abuser! then I don’t think she is mature enough to be in a relationship.
My girlfriend has called and told me she doesn’t truly think I’m an abuser but is still pursuing the background check to be 100% sure.
This is actually similar to another issue that pops up here often, paternity tests. I don’t think you even need to try and have this conversation, personally I would just walk, but you could try saying that you don’t truly think she is a cheater but will still pursue a paternity test when y’all have kids just to be 100% sure. That may hit a little closer to home for her to understand why you are hurt. Again not the same as being accused of being a potential abuser, but could help.
Ok tell him he can't have piv with the other female that you are the only one that gets that . If he is so wanting a 3 way tell him to have a MMF
There's weird details in this post that don't add up and stuff like “yes I'm afraid of getting pregnant, but if I get pregnant, I'm not afraid of that.” Stuff like that always makes me look, because if there aren't other posts showing bizarre uses of the account for who knows what (like this one), there's usually way more context
You want two vastly different things in life. Neither is wrong they are just different.
If you don't want kids then you tell her and end the relationship now. Stop wasting her time.
naked to believe. your company just opened them up to a lifetime of sexual harassment charges coming at any time in the remainder of both of your lives. there's no way an actual corporation did this. was this some kind of start-up working out of a garage not really a company yet kind of thing?
So I have two answers for this and they’re both “no.”
You cannot prove his insecurities wrong because you are not him. Someone who is insecure need to do psychological work on themselves, not have the world change around them to suddenly make them objectively the best at everything. It’s like overcoming addiction or trauma, you can’t do it for someone else. You can support them IF they are doing it for themselves, if they’re resisting this work you might as well be pushing a car up a hill that’s in reverse.
Does he gain power in the relationship through his insecurities? Are you running around trying to please him, doing everything he wants, soothing him when he’s sad and generally rewarding him for projecting insecurity? And if he is, then why would he change? He can avoid all that difficult and messy internal change and just have a girlfriend who greases every hinge before he opens the door.
Honestly he shouldn’t even be in a relationship with that amount of insecurities. He should go to therapy
No need to apologize!! Yes, that’s my opinion except if you guys agreed to be exclusive. Talking stage is free game.
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That's life brother. Alpha fucks beta bucks. You were safe. It is what it is. Describing yourself back then , why should it be a surprise. What about you seemed so desirable? Get over it. It's life. Of course you weren't.. it's your job to maintain being her best option at this point. Whining about some guy from college is in a good look so I suggest you tighten it up before she realizes that she settled for the wrong guy
but with our difference in spiritual views, I told her I won't entertain marrying someone who is not at least somewhat of similar beliefs as I am.
Are me and her just wasting time?
Oh you must be very very young or live under a rock. He's a cop. There's times when the “right thing” gets everyone in a worse position. You're advocating for a situation where both the OP amd wife could be killed.
If he was messing with you, he was messing with dispatchers, too. Get sti tested asap.
Well you already know that you are with a liar and that’s a deal breaking huge red flag. There is absolutely no viable reason for him to be lying about who you are in his life. Since you were LDR, please realize that everything that you think you know about him, only came out of his lying mouth.Good luck, you’re going to need it.
OP it you’re thinking of breaking off the engagement over this small of a thing I have to wonder if there aren’t other hesitations or things going on…? Are you guys playing power games with each other regularly in the relationship? Do you feel like you understand and get each other, well?
She fucked him and she wants to remain friends with him… okay bro.
Move yourself and the dog out and have some self respect. Give him one month. In that time look for a place.
Could be he has a different love language that doesn't include touch
Still, it isn't cringe to express your needs at all. Communication is very important in a relationship.
Example: “I like it when you touch my hair. It makes me feel happy when you do that” Partner: “Well I'm glad you like it ^^ I love doing that! I like it when I can lay down in your lap and you caress my head”
Example 2: “I used to love it when you touched my hair while we watch a movie. I really miss that.” Partner: “Oh okay well I just don't want to ruin your hair style”
So in example 1 , partners have a compatible love language and communication works fine. In example 2, one of the partners is expressing a certain desire part of their love language, but the other partner doesn't really understand it and avoids the request by claiming not to want to do it wrong so that you may feel discouraged to ask again.
Does your ex gf know you were raped?
Nope, do him a favor and break up with him.
I would call a meeting and put it out there. Just you and these boys. Let them know from you that it’s not acceptable. You are their boss.
The thing is she’s basically saying your father did something awful but refusing to tell you. What does she expect you to do in these circumstances. If the result is only she won’t get a lift with him, maybe best to leave it alone until someone asks for your input. But if she then expects your relationship with your dad to change because of it, you need the details.
Depends what the issue exactly is, him looking at another woman in your presence? It happens but you have a right to feel how you feel. If you think he never had or never will look at a woman and “I think if I couldn’t satisfy him to the point he never had to look at her in two years” you’re being naive. I’m married and look at guys all the time, my husband is my world and straying has never been a thought but if I see a nice looking guy, I’ll look. When we’re in places like vegas (I’ll admit I’m as fascinated by the woman’s body as much as him) we’ll sit there and look at naked bodies not both sexes and be like “his chest is defined” or “look at those legs, yeesh”. Admiring and not being satisfied at home have zero correlation, I know my husband looks at women, shit, he has eyes but I also know I’m his world and he makes me feel cherished. Anyway that’s me, can’t and won’t tell you what to do, just giving my perspective
I know a few people (my sister in law for example) who are very pleasant, personable people but I happen to know they have cheated (my SIL slept with my BIL when he was married and his wife was pregnant with their third child). Whilst I can acknowledge that they're perfectly nice people, what I know about them removes all respect I might otherwise have for them and I won't pretend to have any form of friendship with them.
Did your wife know about the cheating before, and if not, how has it affected her view of her friend? I think that's important.
What bothers me so much is his disregard for how it impacts you. It’s so hurtful and disrespectful and yet he continues….. it’s a clear message that he does not care for your feelings.
I think it’s normal for us to look at other humans and become attracted to them, even when we are in relationship. But we have control over our actions and behaviours! So there’s no excuse.
I’m so sorry you’re going though this. You deserve a partner who prioritizes you and your comfort!
Don't put anything in a mailbox besides mail. It's actually a crime.
If you are that reliant on his money because you are funneling money to you family, don’t you think you need to change your situation?
I understand that some cultures have the heavy expectation that the children need to support them financially, but if you literally can’t survive on your own while doing this and you are relying on an old dude for money to survive…it isn’t sustainable.
You either tell your family that you simply cannot continue to support them financially to the extent that you are until you obtain better employment or you get to live your life being the sex toy to someone you have absolutely no attraction to. One is a quick bandaid, the other is the rest of your life.
Then just let him do it. Those are truly your only 2 options. If in a year or two you're still saying this is not for you. Then at least you tried. Won't ever be any question of what coulda, shoulda, woulda been and y'all can go your separate ways at that point. Most cops work 30+ years and retire like every other profession.
He's ready to do this The only thing that is standing in his way is your fear. You need to get out of his way one way or the other.
I only read the title, but I would say the trash took itself out. Don't let it back in. You don't need that kind of drama in your life.
Even if I was planning on having sex with someone that very day, this ultimatum would be a deal breaker for me. You being a virgin shouldn't change things. People should only have sex when they are ready to and want to.
Seems like you both benefit from a break. He sounds immature.
not hurting women doesn’t make you a good man
Aaand I wouldn’t be surprised if the perpetuation of this myth actually keeps men from pursuing custody and relationships with their children…
Too much hassle. She's what we call a pathological liar. It won't get better. She's learned this from someone in her life and it has worked for her.
Spain is a country. My family is not white. Brown dark not tan white. There’s long lines of indigenous mexicans like the Aztecs and Myans. Don’t forget that fact
While I understand your motivation, I completely disagree with your actions. Jake's life belongs to him, and it's his to ruin if and however he wants.
This sounds like one of those weddings that you read about on those r/askreddit posts “what's the most awkward wedding you've ever been to?”
You should get an annulment.
The most ridiculous thing I've read in months. What in the world are you smoking?
I’ve thought about it for some time and I’ve slept with 2 people ever. They didn’t really talk me into it, it came up when we had a conversation. Then the next time we spoke he said he asked his friend and his friend would be up for it
Ever heard of paragraphs? Your text 6 months ago was also awful, you know the one in which you broke up because you download a sexy video of a friend for jerking of and broke off and just came together again becsuse you promised to change. Still you kept on lying to her…
I wonder why she is so shitty to you /s Here family makes remark that you should look for another woman after bashing her the whole time (and you was so eager to bash her too). Just wow. To have a bf who has your back is sooo great. Maybe she finds one soon.
And why worry that she doesn't eat, no, you just care about the food waste.
You sound so awful. And i don't see how your gf is childish. You sound childish. You don't care about her. Why she does something. How she feels. All is how it affects you. For me she has more problems with this abusive surroundings. Please break up! She deserve someone better.
Just talk with him and see how he feels, If he says plan B but you want the baby, then keep it. If he say to keep it then talk about what comes next.
You don't have an emotional attachment with your friends that interferes with your marriage. This woman does not respect your marriage.
Your husband needs to set boundaries with this woman. He was interested in her before. She turned him down. He met you & you were a safe bet.
He's got the best of both worlds.
Another fake troll post.
He's right, it's a terrible use of a large sum of money … unless you already have multiple large sums of money
I'll if things go wrong it could affect your self image and self esteem for years. Have you even had casual sex before? Maybe you should just try it with one person first before adding a third. They could literally decide to do anything with you.
I see your point. But she's not like that. I see where she's coming from.
Do not go back.
Quit, men will move heaven and earth for something or someone they really want. He is showing you what he wants through his actions.
Nothing you can do. Practice these words. “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
I bought a magnetic shoulder Remy at epcot! (cheap ones are on ebay) I'd recommend buying her a pair of ears also. It's fun to take part a bit in the magic.
So leave. Someone out there will like you as you are. He has the right to like Fitter bodies and you have the right to want a more lenient man.
Most mortgages (all?) require you to have spousal death coverage insurance in the event that one of you dies to ensure that the mortgage will be paid. In any case, you can have that as an add on or otherwise account for a spouses death in your life insurance (which, if you are purchasing a 1 million dollar home together, you should absolutely be factoring that in to your insurance in some way or other.) As an example, (and this is in Canada) my close friend and her husband had spousal insurance on their mortgage that would pay off the entirety of their remaining mortgage in the even of the death of either of them. It was a blessing when she died of breast cancer when they had 3 kids. (They had the same 'spousal death' coverage on their vehicle loan as well, thank goodness)
If you want to buy a house together, get married first. A home bought while you are married becomes a marital asset. You both would be fools to buy a house together without the legal protections marriage offers.
For example, when unmarried and living together in a home you both own, either one of you could sell your share of the home without the permission of the other. The new owner could either move in or force a sale of the home.
There are many other reasons why buying a house together, without appropriate legal protections, is a bad idea. I understand your desire to own a home but you've only been with your boyfriend a year and a half and you don't know him well enough to make a move like this.
It’s not her job to block you. It’s your job to be able to emotionally regulate yourself and know when to stop being a creep.
Believe her. Exes rarely contact the new woman for no reason.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure 2 women having sex is gay porn
I feel like I'm taking care of a child. I worry about his mental health if I leave.
His mental health is not YOUR problem. Are you really going to live an awful life in fear of how he's going to take a break up?
I've never been so comfortable with someone in my life and fear never being loved again.
You're 19. So, really….you have never been so comfortable in the what 5 yrs of dating history? Really, you have had only had 1 adult relationship.
Being happy and single is better than together and miserable. You will find other partners and the will be fine, maybe even more compatible.
I’m sorry, I can delete it… I just meant like how should I handle the situation with my boyfriend and is it a big deal? Like something to be worried about in our relationship
I think that’s a tad hostile. The sentiment is right but the tone is a little much.
You can stop.
You can say no.
You do not have to get married.
Even if you've spent a lot of money
Even if it will inconvenience a lot of people
Even if he really wants to do it
You can walk away. It sounds like you should.
i dont know if i have the strength to do it
She ditched you on her b'day to have a date with her boss alone. Is that what you want in your future? Your gf/wife going on dates with other guys on special occasions while you stay at home?
Depends on state. I divorced in a no fault state. They couldnt give 2 fucks about infidelity, assets are still considered joint.
Please leave the home. Your mom abuses you and of course she doesn't like your BF for getting you out of there!
Therapy to learn to have boundaries with your mom and in the future, she will need to earn her right to be in your life. Don't fall for the guilt and go and be happy!
Alright! Here is my two cents. Not having closure sucks. But also, they don’t owe you closure. When my ex and I broke up, we went no contact almost immediately. I spent months on end crying trying to get over him. And then, our lovely couples therapist who I stopped talked to after we broke up, told him to reach out to me to get closure. And it fucked me up. Square one all over again. So my advice? Leave him alone. Go to therapy and work through it by yourself. Don’t know your ex personally so I can’t tell if he’s still hurting or not, but regardless, it sucks when you break up and your ex won’t leave you alone when you’re trying to move on. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. Heartbreak is one of the worst pains imaginable in my opinion.
I agree with others that getting a paternity test would clear some things up.
I would wait until after your sister's exams, so she can focus on those rn. Finals will be over soon enough.
If you know it's a big step, then it shouldn't be too upsetting if she replies with something along the lines of “I think we should wait another year”, right? It's definitely a big step, and if she's not ready, then saying that is the responsible thing to do if she cares for your relationship.
Has she tried to contact you?
I'd pause until he gets therapy.
Honestly, I know he asked you to take the lead here but I think that’s a bad idea.
He’s not ready and he’s putting all the “work” on you. I think you need to have a discussion with him that HE needs to be the one to take the lead on progressing your sex life. I understand he’s nervous about it. But he needs to take accountability and not leave this up to you to navigate.
You guys can have open discussions about how to proceed. But I would recommend having him make the suggestions and you can either agree or disagree.
HE needs to learn to self advocate and tell you what he’s ready for and what he isn’t.
If he can’t at least do that…. Then yeah, I think he will have issues fulfilling you sexually in the future.
You have no choice but to accept it.
Respect his decision and look forward.
Yes it is painful, so let yourself be sad .
But keep moving forward step by step.
You just found out you are strong on your own.
What a typical military relationship.
End it and be single. You’re 18.
Thank you for your answer! The thing is he only drinks with friends, to have fun. But he said that if He would feel anxious he would not drink. And I dont think hes planning on taking other anxiolytics (he took 1 once but didnt like the effects after so he's not considering continuing taking the meds from what I understood). When I talked about sobriety for a month, thats what he said basically.
You don't want to break up, but you should have some self-respect and do the naked thing. You're young and have your whole life and many other women ahead of you. She did not respect you, your commitment, or agreement enough to not spread her legs for another bloke she got on with. Why would you debase yourself and go back with her? You'll forever have trust issues because of it and rightly so. She was stringing you along so she could have a fling, and I wouldn't be surprised if she had been talking to this guy prior to the break. If you go back to her or work especially naked to fight for her after she betrayed your trust, you will only further enable her behavior. She will see that there is no consequences for violating your boundaries and that you aren't willing to stand up for yourself.
Back yourself. Realize that you do not need her in your life. Focus on what you need to do to regain confidence, get ahead in your career, and find other women to get with. You should not be pursuing her at this point, as she's already failed the basic test. Realistically, she should be the one begging to be back in *your* life because she realizes how bad she fucked up, at which point you say, “Sorry, this is a serious boundary violation for me, and I am not willing to continue to sacrifice my time, attention, money, and youth to someone who does not respect me or my boundaries.” You may love her and you may always feel something, but is she really deserving of it at this point? There are many more great women out there waiting to meet you.
You will be able to keep many of your friends as long as you don't do or say anything rash that would allow her to paint you as the bad guy. Currently, she's the one who is guilty and looks shady as hell. Your friends who are really your friends will back you in this situation, but you need to make sure you tell the whole story to them in social settings so its clear and she can't twist it.
Its shit getting cheated on, man. I wish you the best.
It's never too late…tell her…maybe she feels the same way and also for your sanity
It’s never a good idea to be friends with someone you have strong feelings for
I was so proud to have
Ew, she's not your possession.
I’m having to be punished and having to console her something that’s her fault and ultimately is offensive to me
Oh, absolutely fuck off you self centered prick.
I will not be subjected to this disrespect all my life
Fuck yourself sideways for that, you shallow arrogant douchebag.
She could be 18 stone as long as it was sat in the right places
Oh, how fucking magnanimous of you.
I’m not enough to care about keeping
You're not. Your a shallow, vapid, judgmental, self centred arrogant douche who should be permanently single for the good of womankind.
Couples therapy and swearing off alcohol imo, you guys need a third person to navigate this problem with you. I'd also suggest individual therapy for her. Why did she drink so much? Why does she get violent when she drinks? These are things she can learn in therapy. As for you, promise yourself that if this ever happens again you'll leave, tell her that too, and stick to it. No one deserves to be treated this way.
If you cut it off for 3mo, you’ll still gave a month before he leaves to enjoy the fruits of your labor on yourself!
I disagree with the majority on this. I think she is over reacting majorly to the situation at had. And, if you are correct that you haven’t messed up in this way previously, then I don’t know why she isn’t giving you the benefit of the doubt. And is super disrespected on her part. People screw up. You admitted it. But that doesn’t mean you should be verbal abused for it.
If trust in you was so fragile that they one mistake causes her to loose all trust in you, well then she didn’t trust you much to begin with.
And to all the people saying that he should cancel a whole day golfing with his buddies for a quick trip to the airport, you’re all idiots. She has other options and OP offered to find alternatives for her.
How to fix this, you need to figure out what’s the bigger issue behind this.
It might be time to familiarize yourself with the child-support laws in your county and schedule a consultation with a lawyer that can give you a sense of what options you have and what your chances are for winning full custody.
It may be smart to start making a record of the financial contributions you and your baby’s father contribute to the care and well being of your child. Find as many receipts or proof of purchase you can to back up your claims.
I would not expect him to change his ways for the better. He will continue to gaslight and manipulate you and it’s best to cut your losses.
If by some small shred of hope you actually think your relationship is worth fighting for and he’s capable of growth, you should find a couples therapist asap.
If he’s unwilling to communicate or compromise in this way, that is just more proof that there’s no room for improvement and not agreeing to go to therapy could help your case for sole custody.
It seems like once or twice a month he blows up at me. It didn't start till after we were married. We got married in 2019 and started dating in 2017. He has worked on other aspects of the relationship but not his anger.
This is more than enough to tell someone to run from this man. Why are you trying to play down this weird list which shows a extremely one sided powerdynamic in their relationship.
But i guess username checks out and you are out of touch AF.
She should have said, I would never cheat on my boyfriend.when boss wife asked about having sex with her. With her just saying I'm only interested in men, makes it sound like she would sleep with the boss but not the wife. Those deleted text are very suspicious. Why did she ask did you read the messages above when she knew she deleted them? It is also suspicious that a co-worker of her's told you about the baby part. Could people at her work suspect something is going on between them? I really wish you the best but I would get to the bottom of this
And don't stay in thinking you'll convert him, b/c he's staying in thinking he'll just eventually break you. There is no winning scenario for you, get out.
“I wanted to bring her closer to my friends and go around the country”
why can't you do that another time? A lot of jobs won't let you have time off during the holidays but she's still entitled to have vacation so why don't you all plan one for another date
Hiding what?
OP was watching his screen, and he gave her the phone when he was finished with whatever he was doing.