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? Mira? Let, ‘s have fun ? PVT is OPEN ?, 18 y.o.
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You know its the holiday season, right? People gather with friends and family this time of year, often with food.
You can buy some pretty tasty heat-up-and-eat meals at Costco and grocery stores due to the season.
You have the best username I have seen for this sub. Well done
As hard as it is, the only decent option is to end the relationship and cut contact. Thereâs always a chance that she comes back to you afterwards (if you would even want that), but it sounds like sheâs made her decision to explore.
No as long as they have some other direction in life. I wouldn't date someone who doesn't work at all/can't contribute anything financially/domestically, but I don't have a preference if it's through a higher education versus a trade or the like.
Your bf is showing classic signs of being a narcissistic abuser. He has progressed from the love-bombing and grooming phase to the manipulation phase in an attempt to undermine your self-worth and sense of reality. He will never go back to being sweet, only escalate from here.
You need to leave this abusive POS yesterday. For your sanity, well-being, and safety.
Take care, OP â¤ď¸
I would but I have no proof other than being blown off, honestly. They arenât like touching eachother
Theyâre pulling eachothers hair and talking about kinks/turn ons
This canât be a real post. Thereâs no way any individual is not able to decipher this situation, especially with the way you laid it out.
Like you gotta be kidding me.
Why do you pretend you have all the answers when you donât I mean how bored are you? Iâm not treating anyone like an idiot, I literally ADMITTED to copying the OP, so whatâs your point? I made a throwaway account after seeing the other OPs post so I can share my story because Iâd not do it on my real account.
Doesnât make me psycho. Im also not playing kiddie games because I donât waste energy lurking them at all. Itâs not weird for me to be genuinely curious why she has her family lurking. I use social media to promote my small business as well as get paid for making reels âşď¸ I have a healthy baby and pregnancy. If you have nothing nice to say, donât comment. Itâs irrelevant and psychotic of you to bash on someone you donât know.
That's some good advice lol, thanks, will do!
It's over, have some dignity and tell her it's over then move out. Forgive her, but the relationship is over.
Deleted after you got your ass handed to you huh? Hopefully you were trolling. If not, youâre a coward. ?
Hereâs a female perspectiveâŚShe probably feels insecure. Show/tell her you still think sheâs sexy. Women can place a lot of their self-value in this.
I cannot even believe someone would ever have this reaction to you telling your traumatic story. You'd think even the biggest pos would at least pretend to feel bad. Please, run away from this guy asap. Apart from all the abusive shit he puts you through, there is no way you can heal from your past assault while living with someone who respects none of your boundaries. This relationship will destroy you, your self-esteem and the relationship you have with men and with your own body. PLEASE don't do this to yourself.
Get her to start training the puppy
I think he is being disrespectful
You each should be contributing financially based on how much you earn but also consider in the equation you doing childcare when you could be working full-time.
Youâre young and the minute she hit you the relationship needs to end. Itâs abuse. Nobody should put their hands on somebody else. She either has huge anger issues or sheâs very immature. And definitely not marriage ready. Good luck to you.
Thats not a friend my man. Like absolutely not a friend.
I see him 6 days a month, where 5 days of it he mostly spends on his phone or gaming and 1 day where we (kinda) go on a date.
It sounds to me like she is projecting x
Hm I see personal thing aren't ok to share with bf, but are with “friend” . Seems legit. I also think her admitting that she has been sending and receiving messages that would make you upset us more than enough to get upset. While it diesn't seen like she is cheating it seens she breaching boundaries with very personal conversations. Potentially cheating emotionally on you. Its's your call of course, but I personally think openess is important in relationship. Secrets naturally breed insecurity. I think this is a big deal and sign of more things being hidden from you.
Fuck that. You do not teach a child respectful behavior by allowing them to throw fits and get their way. Do not cave.
He's made zero indication contact from you would be anything but welcome. That's not overstepping at all it's tremendously thoughtful.
I think the big thing we don't have enough details on is how they met and how long they were in contact before she tried to 'seduce' him.
If they, for instance, began raiding together in WoW as part of a guild or somethin, and just enjoyed playing with each other, and she didn't attempt to seduce him until almost two years later, a few months shy of 18, that's like reasonable ig.
But if they met on like Omegle and she 'seduced' him 6 months later that's a big yikes.
Who asked you?
Get therapy. This is totally unhealthy. Block them on SM and get off their Spotify.
You will get a lot more functional advice from r/swingers.
Honestly you need to close the relationship fast.
Your communication has tanked and you are about to loose the marriage.
You arenât in an open relationship. Your wife is basically rules for thee and not for me!!!
I wouldnât find that attractive either.
In the lifestyle, both parties have to agree to the boundaries. If she doesnât want you playing, ok but you donât have to consent to her playing with others either.
Either both have the freedom or neither. She is showing that she gets jealous. You arenât communicating. And your sex life at home is pretty much dead.
These are all signs of an open relationship that is about to implode.
They may be truly remorseful but cannot control themselves once they are angry. You seem not to want any of our advice. Did you think that we were going to say forgive him and move on? He hit you in the head. Something triggered that. What happens the next time your son doesn't fight back? Is he capable of hurting your son? To teach him how to fight?
You left a stable relationship on an impulsive decision over something new? This is absolutely not healthy. Donât you dare drag your ex into this shit show any further until you have worked on you. That man donât deserve that after you left the way you did. Go to therapy and be alone. Stop dragging people along ruining their lives when you donât even know what you want. I know it sucks but you have bigger problems to worry about. Work on you
Don't listen to everyone on the internet.
You may not cry over everything, but everyone, I mean everyone had something that moves them to tears, and you aren't weak for doing it.
Someone that thinks you are weak is really the weak one in the equation.
Yeah I see now sheâs edited it in.
I've told her I don't want to go but she's very upset over that.
An invitation is just that, not a summon. And she's “upset”? What about your feelings? She sounds rather delusional.
But at the same time she's my closest friend and I don't want to lose her.
OP, she's not a platonic friend. Srsly, she doesn't really respect you, nor others, and she's stringing you along.
Sounds pretty damn normal (the video).
That was to be expected, lol.
All I can say is, you're right. Everyone knows she is your girlfriend and based on what you've presented you haven't done anything suspicious.
You're right about testing being immature. But what do I do now? I want to trust her still. Is that ok? But then, should I admit to the test?
If you know this sub so well and everything is trite and boring… YOU are welcome to leave and go read subs that are less boring and repetitive.
Pro Life Tip: if everything is so boring and repetitive why don't YOU give your own constructive and helpful UNIQUE advice to OP.
Instead, you are here being one of the very repetitive “this sub always only has the same advice” commenters. You are the bigger clichĂŠ.
Only you can fix your problem by actually providing advice. lol
Why do you want to fuck your incestuous siblings? Am I missing something?
Regardless of any of this⌠Having another woman sleep over when youâre in a relationship is crossing a line. He could have at least sent her a quick text when he made the decision, âHey, Friend got too drunk tonight to drive so Iâm going to let her sleep on the couch.â That way it at least looks honest, not saying anything until the next day when he immediately relayed all of the negative things this lady had to say is suspicious, imo. Also, you donât just stand by and let someone badmouth your partner. Just as you say OP doesnât know this girl, this girl also doesnât know OP! So who is she to speak on OPâs intentions? The boyfriend should have shut that down immediately. Once you get to the point of badmouthing your partner with another woman, the line has been crossed miles ago.
Any normal woman would understand OPâs hesitation to let her bf have sleepovers with her. Hell, I have multiple male friends whoâs friendship dynamic with me changed since starting a relationship, and thatâs fine! Itâs normal, I understand. This ladyâs immediate jump into badmouthing OP over something thatâs very widely not acceptable for people in a committed relationship is a red flag.
I do try to police myself and will apologize immediately if I notice that I slipped up. It's just difficult for me to really think before I speak if it's outside of work or if I'm not in a serious mood. I like to think that I've made some kind of progress, but the slip ups still happen and it's upsetting.
But why did it go from âI donât even watch pornâ to âI cannot stop my sexual thoughts about other peopleâ? Like, I understand time is in play, and that the newness wears off. But boy..
She's told you exactly what's she's doing. She craves attention and your giving it her. Fuck her right off. Don't respond anymore. Go where you like and when you like
you should get a divorce, don't make excuses for problems and other things
your husband went through the same troubles as you and dealt with financial problems
I think it's unfair to him
You should have let him go years ago I'm sorry I'm more sorry for the years your husband spent with you
Sounds like your ideal futures arenât compatible.
Dodged a bullet. Any guy who views relationships like this has a lot of growing up to do. Just drop him and stop any further contact.
Unfortunately, Jody is going to Jody. Remember that people are even more stupid than you could possibly fathom, because fiction is rooted in reality.
I think you should cut off this supposed friend. Sheâs not a friend and sheâs ruining your mental health. You canât change another person. She is selfish and doesnât care about you.
Start by loving yourself. Do things to help you grow. You are too focussed on her and for too long. Itâs time for you to move on. Eventually youâll meet people that will care for you. When you see your therapist choose what is more important for you to fix.
You have low self esteem and confidence in yourself this is why you think you are nothing maybe it will be good to fix this with your therapist first.
Or it sounds like someone who knows that if the house is 72 degrees in January and February, he won't be able to pay the mortgage in March. Energy prices (along with everything else) have really gone up a lot.
Well, calling her psychopath kind of really gives me some idea why she may be blocking you. Usually people in trauma have a hard time showing emotion so thereâs more going onto the story. And frankly, calling her a psychopath as the title of your post would make me detach from you and show no emotion. I would change your tune, if you hope to get back around her at all.
My head hurts
My SIL spent thirty years in a relationship she was not happy in because she wanted her (then) husband to 'show her he loved her'. He did, but not in a way she found acceptable and was miserable for most of her married life.
She left him and began a ten-year relationship with a man who she thought would 'change if I showed him she loved him'. She did, but he didn't.
She is now in her sixties, lives alone, albeit with two or three casual gentlemen friends, and even has a cat.
Please don't follow her example. My SIL had plenty of opportunities to leave and start over but chose to stay in the hope that things would change and/or improve. They didn't.
You are only in your mid-thirties. You are in your prime and you are absolutely worth more than being stuck in a relationship with someone who thinks so little of you.
His behaviour is going to get worse and you can either spend the rest of your life being treated like dirt and being miserable or dusting yourself down, putting the past behind you (as difficult as that is going to be) and finding someone who loves you, respects you and values you for the all round good person you are.
Don't end up a miserable old cat lady! Not that there's anything inherently wrong with old ladies or cats.
No
Thank you . Relationship is already over . I could not sleep all night , just figuring out how to break up
No heâs done, you went way overboard. Basically stalking him. You showed up to the clubs he was at. You demanded to know who he was with and when, when you were only a hook up. He made it clear from the start he was not interested in you for anything but sex!
He basically said no this is way too much for me and walked away. Which I agree you went overboard. If you were not ok with being just sex you should have never hooked up.
He is not coming back. I honestly doubt there is anything you could do to fix this. Leave the poor man alone.
you donât think itâs weird to push someone who is asleep out of a room so you can masturbate?
That sucks, im very sorry to hear that OP. But.. Yeah honestly, I'd be turned off by the lack of communication. He could've told her something not detailed about why he's upset, like “I was reminded of something bad that happened X amount of years ago but I don't really want to talk about it right now” instead of saying “I'm fine” after yelling and eventually crying.
I'm not into a lack of communication, communication is how healthy relationships thrive. I'd dip right out of a relationship if they didn't feel like they could talk to me, or if I felt like I couldn't talk to them
I mean.. i think it isnt a form of being redpill or anything.
He Wouldnt share his Fears and certainly not cry in front of you if he was Into this ideology.
Has he ever been in a relationship before and how did it go? It might explain why's he's behaving like this
Run. You are 19 and have your whole life ahead of you. Do not throw away your youth on an alcoholic.
So, he displayed a red flag with the initial behavior, and this is also a red flag by trying to turn your very legitimate discomfort against you and make it seem like you're the one at fault.
I would drop this dude fast. He makes someone's loss all about him, then tries to bring you down when you express your very valid concerns…I don't see this getting better with time.
It can be both you realise? I agree the act is more idiotic than immature but look how she is handling it afterwards, that reeks of immaturity.
Because they have less disposable income after rent is deducted. It's not fair to subsidize a higher earner who still has more disposable income after an expense they can more easily afford.
Run OP….That level of irresponsible could land you in so much more trouble than a shower and messy floors.
He is going to try to contact your kids, so make sure their social media profiles are set to private.
The kids can choose whether they want to meet their biological father when theyâre 18. Until then, itâs probably better to maintain stability and not introduce this man into their lives. He sounds selfish and unlikely to be a positive influence.
not a clue what “cold cocking” is. however. i instinct even punched him the moment i realized his hands were around my neck, i was not expecting to get strangled in the middle of what had been a pleasant night. it was very out of nowhere, no one's tried to pull anything like that with me like i couldn't have expected that at all. i obviously wouldn't have punched him if it had just been intimacy
There are a lot of innocent children in similar situations needing foster care right now. You making judgmental comments like this while leaving innocent children in that situation says a lot about your character.
If youâre consistent with her walks, as well as getting her puzzles to stimulate her (food puzzles/sniffing puzzles/toys to open and close with treats inside) and train her to do tricks, itâs probable sheâll be more relaxed. But a behaviorist would be better suited to tell you how to proceed. The real issue is your bf.
But what if he's Bisexual?
Idk man..she isn't that kind of person
Ya good point I didnât wanna cram it with details
Go get an std test immediately before you start accusing anyone of anything.
But you never dated Clark? That means you have no idea if youâd be compatible for marriage, youâre in love with the idea of him.
âSandboxâ means that heâs ex-military who was posted in the Middle East. He knows how to defend himself, thatâs it. He protected you, donât spin that into a negative.
Prove him rightâŚtake 1/2 his shit NOW.
Gather important papers, bank records, tax returns, 401k/IRA info, marriage license, birth certificates, passports. Talk to an attorney about options. Not saying you have to file, just know your options.
As for when he comes home, donât lift a finger for this douche. Donât cook, clean, do laundry or other chores. He threatened divorce, give him a taste.
Do you have a spare room? Move his stuff into it. If not, have bedding sitting on the couch. Tell him welcome to his new sleeping quarters.
!UpdateMe
Here's the thing, it's not your decision whether or not your bf is allowed to smoke pot. He has decided that he will. It's up to you to either accept it or move on.
That âtwistingâ you are mentioning is called manipulation. Heâs going to manipulate you into thinking you are the problem or you did something wrong. You did nothing wrong. Donât let him make you think youâre crazy when heâs the one being suspicious. Trust is earned, not just freely given. If he is acting suspicious, of course your trust for him will be questioned.
Oh, no. He's 34 and doesn't use transportation on his own. Remove the emotions and think logically about what you want for yourself.
I have been in a situation where I woke up in the morning and there where 3 strangers sleeping on my living room couch. Friends my roommate brought home after being out drinking without informing the rest of us.
I was so mad I was ready to physically throw them out of the apartment, because there's random people that I don't know in my apartment.
He had all the right to have his friend crashing there, but he couldn't even send a fucking text letting the rest of us know
Yes do it. Have fun, youâre both just looking for some companionship and some fun. Just two adults doing what adults do.
you are not compatible she will always follow extroverts around
you are available as a provider for gifts and other issues
it's not love or respect, the people she's out with didn't plan a future with her, she can't find too many (stupid) people to go back to by eating her cake.
Also in Canada, know the pain of proof in the age of everything digital. Sending you so much support. Weirdly, Facebook groups can be great for finding helpful persons in the community. My neighbourhood also has a huge network of community orgs, and they usually have lists of other resources – shelters, safe houses, etc. A lot of them are hard to find if you're not in the network.
Your school may also have some resources that could be offered. I would try and check. Stay safe, keep that lovely child safe, you will get through this.
It will, but for now you really have to cut your losses.
Go no contact. Move away and never be with this person again. Clearly they do not love you back. The fact that they don't love you, have used you, have hurt you, have stolen from you should be enough to remove the scales of what you think is love from your eyes.
We all know the feeling of what it's like when you get caught up in an infatuation when everything seems wonderful. The honeymoon always ends; real love cannot be based only on this instant initial attraction.
You will be so much better off once you have gone. Yes it will hurt for a while but you have to let your rational self prevail. You are putting your definition of love above your basic need for self-preservation. Please update us once you've gone which I hope will be in a matter of days most.
Itâs not that I donât have time or energy all the time. Just every once in a while, when I do have time we always make sure to do something fun and valuable. I take her on dates as often as possible and spend every second of my days off with her. We really push each other to get out of our comfort zones and be more open, itâs generally all good.
Have you told him what you want? If you have laid out your expectations and he is not meeting them, then you have to decide if that is a failing or not. Since he is in university, you have to assume he is smart enough to understand you but is just not bothering with appeasing your needs for romance. Maybe he just doesn't love you as much as you like to believe. Are there other red flags? 'Cause his lack of effort for you is a big one.
If you want the romantic gestures in your life, you may have to find it in someone else.
Only if you don't get help for your issues. Otherwise like an alcoholic reaching for another bottle, you're going to reach for yet another loser.
He needs Tantra
You aren't mature. You sound ridiculous and you're the problem here. You sound mad controlling.
Not only is it passive aggressive, but the way your fake friend (a say fake because thatâs not a friend) carried on was extremely childish for a 34 year old woman, and ridiculous. No one owns a name, they cannot be stolen. I name one of my children Rhiannon. Does that mean everyone else who named their child that, stole it from me? In fact, a friend mine named her child Rhiannon. My response was âGood name!â With a thumbs up!
Instead of your so called friend being a positive figure during your pregnancy even with the name picked out, she made herself a thorn in your side and tried to guilt, brow beat, and argue with you to get you to relent. After your baby is born, she chooses the most disrespectful and petty route just to prove some asinine point she assumes about name ownership.
If would absolutely NOT just sit there taking that, being complacent and hoping that someday sheâll get so bored of it she goes back to being a semi decent human being. Then you are teaching her itâs okay to treat you and your child that way. I would instead decide I would rather surround myself with humans that are decent and celebrate me and my child and are positive in my life, regardless of my babyâs name.
Iâm not a girl so I canât comment on the point of girls weekend, but she does like to have a dance and drink with her friends. Your second point is that fine line between controlling behaviour âyou must tell me exactly what you are doing at all timesâ and being chill and trusting in your partner to do the right thing. She tells me she didnât text me to tell me that, because she knew I would be stewing on it all night. I am a deep thinker, and do play mental gymnastics with myself with other situations.