As a woman who has been cheated on, tell her. She would much rather be told the truth than kept in the dark. I would also advise STD testing for everyone involved because you may not have been the only one he was with while on vacation.
He’s lazy and selfish. That’s it. That’s the whole story. He wants you to service him and loses interest in anything requiring effort beyond dry humping on you (which, comparatively, is much less effort than actual sex).
Yes! My kiddo is 5 months old and was a surprise baby, I never thought I’d have kids but having him was amazing. Now I’m seeing him learn to hold things, hearing him laugh, learn how to sit by himself.. yeah it’s cool when other peoples kids do it but this one is mine and it’s a whole different experience.
I also think of the movie Idiocracy when I see posts like these. Guys (and women I guess) out here “spreading their seed” with as many people. Imagine being with someone but finding out they’re actually you’re half sibling because your dad/mom had a breeding fetish?
Buy experiences? Tickets to something. Buy things that are not practical and don’t need to be used. A pretty statue. A picture of the two of you in a frame. Flowers.
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In Colorado my ex could've paid that much. The formula was how many overnights he had (0) / who pays expenses like school and daycare (me) / who pays health insurance (me.) So because I had all the responsibility of paying for everything and having her every night I could've gotten about 900 a month while he was making $18 an hour. We opted to choose a lower amount because he wouldn't be able to afford rent.
So, while you are now cuddling and kissing him (I dont know how does that look as taking things slow), Is he still staying with his gf?. How do you know he is not cuddling, kissing and sleeping with her when they are together?.
It sounds like the only reason you’re contemplating staying in this relationship is because you’ve already sunk in 5 years. And I get it – staying together would feel like some quantifiable return on an investment, so to speak. You’ve put in 5 years of love and care into this, and it’d be amazing if all of that “paid off” by having this relationship work out long-term.
But I’d challenge you to consider that the “investment” here wasn’t ever intended to pay off that way. It wasn’t ever intended to result in this specific relationship being the one. The time that you’ve put in were intended to treat someone you loved well, to teach you how to be a good partner, to bring you happiness as long as it could, and to help you determine what you want in a life-long partnership – sure, it’d be great if you discovered she was that person and this was that partnership, but it was always about the discovery, not the result.
So your investment has paid off. You fell in love, treated her well, found happiness with her, and realized that ultimately this just isn’t what you want out of a lifelong partnership.
If you're going to throw those catholic middle school definitions around, you should be willing to accept that people grow up with different life experiences than you, and interpret language and their faith differently from you.
She's lying bro. Red fucking flag. Dump her. She's a narcissist and a sociopath.
/s
But seriously, that's troubling. At best, your wife is a complete idiot who's way too comfortable around other men. At worst, she's cheating. Seems like a lose/lose marriage lol
Your life is a mess. You’ve made some terrible decisions, no doubt influenced by the ignorance of youth. You’re trying to be with a grown man when you’re barely out of childhood. A grown man, mind you, that actually sounds pathetic on paper (that ghosting shit is super immature) but you lose your shit and go psycho for him. And then you apologize because you think you’re wrong, which you definitely are, but so is he.
Date someone your own age. You’re not mature for your age, hell you sound a little immature for your age so definitely don’t believe that lie if and when people say it. Go about your business and either focus on career or studies and get away from this loser.
It’s been said a few times before but the issue is the alcohol. If your wife has had addiction problems and is now using a substance in a way that’s unhealthy for her and for your relationship, that’s not ok. also the fact that she’s now attracted to someone who also deals with extreme addiction seems relevant.
It's very telling that she only confessed after being backed into a corner. Also, some rando guy asks for a bj and she said yes immediately? Why wasn't it the friend who wanted to see it? Imagine she's actually into the next guy that hits on her? I don't know if 7 months is worth the uncertainty.
That big of a reaction makes me think it wasn’t so “harmless”.. dude was literally shaking like a leave in the wind. Then said if roles were swap he wouldn’t believe you.
Dropping her as a client and then what.. what if there’s another client with the same outlines, are we rinsing and repeating?
Don’t think this was a panicked reaction, but just a played hand that got caught in the act of betrayal.
I think just call her or him and explain shes not welcome to come in and ask around for you and there either is nothing to talk about, or ask her what she wants. If it had to be in person, ask why and then decide. Personally? I don't think there is anything at all worth talking to her about. Who fucking cares if she has questions about why it ended and such?
He’s an abusive prick. What kind of partner leaves his wife and kids at an amusement park with no way to get home or to a hospital in an emergency?! That’s not a father who loves his wife and kids. That’s an abusive POS narcissist.
Make a plan and get out of this trash marriage. You and your kids deserve so much better.
I got no advice really but would stop being nice to this person as he obviously sees your niceness as a weakness. Good for you for keeping it lighthearted, I would’ve told him to fuck off the first time he grabbed me, not that it does anything but at least he won’t think he has a chance of getting somewhere without someone bleeding.
As for the HR thing you can but it kinda depends on how helpful the HR folks are, as that’s not always the case. Worst they can do is to fire him which doesn’t stop him from harassing you outside of work if he wants to retaliate. I’m sorry that you’re going through this and hope you stay safe 🙁
Privacy does have value. So does trust though. She apparently doesn't trust you to look through her phone. And a relationship without trust is nothing.
would you be respectful or worried?
At first I would be both. After that I would probably be single.
As a woman who has been cheated on, tell her. She would much rather be told the truth than kept in the dark. I would also advise STD testing for everyone involved because you may not have been the only one he was with while on vacation.
Thank you for being so kind. I appreciate it so much. Have a wonderful weekend as well.
He’s lazy and selfish. That’s it. That’s the whole story. He wants you to service him and loses interest in anything requiring effort beyond dry humping on you (which, comparatively, is much less effort than actual sex).
I misread your previous comment I think
whatever the situation, it's fucked. Check out OP's post history
Yay! I’m above average in something!! But seriously I didn’t know that, huh, thanks for sharing that.
Yes! My kiddo is 5 months old and was a surprise baby, I never thought I’d have kids but having him was amazing. Now I’m seeing him learn to hold things, hearing him laugh, learn how to sit by himself.. yeah it’s cool when other peoples kids do it but this one is mine and it’s a whole different experience.
I also think of the movie Idiocracy when I see posts like these. Guys (and women I guess) out here “spreading their seed” with as many people. Imagine being with someone but finding out they’re actually you’re half sibling because your dad/mom had a breeding fetish?
Buy experiences? Tickets to something. Buy things that are not practical and don’t need to be used. A pretty statue. A picture of the two of you in a frame. Flowers.
No, you do not love him. You don't even know him, and he technically cheated on you. Ghost him.
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I’d ask why he – a prince and prize among mere mortals – stooped so low as to marry a gutter sl*t like you. Seriously. What does that make him?
If you have a mutual friend that knows her, you could send screenshots to them and ask them to pass them on.
Kiss the relationship good bye as soon as you start selling your butthole for money on the internet.
In Colorado my ex could've paid that much. The formula was how many overnights he had (0) / who pays expenses like school and daycare (me) / who pays health insurance (me.) So because I had all the responsibility of paying for everything and having her every night I could've gotten about 900 a month while he was making $18 an hour. We opted to choose a lower amount because he wouldn't be able to afford rent.
Ranting? You’re not ranting, you’re giving us answers to questions. Apologising for ranting is the insecurities he planted talking.
So, while you are now cuddling and kissing him (I dont know how does that look as taking things slow), Is he still staying with his gf?. How do you know he is not cuddling, kissing and sleeping with her when they are together?.
It sounds like the only reason you’re contemplating staying in this relationship is because you’ve already sunk in 5 years. And I get it – staying together would feel like some quantifiable return on an investment, so to speak. You’ve put in 5 years of love and care into this, and it’d be amazing if all of that “paid off” by having this relationship work out long-term.
But I’d challenge you to consider that the “investment” here wasn’t ever intended to pay off that way. It wasn’t ever intended to result in this specific relationship being the one. The time that you’ve put in were intended to treat someone you loved well, to teach you how to be a good partner, to bring you happiness as long as it could, and to help you determine what you want in a life-long partnership – sure, it’d be great if you discovered she was that person and this was that partnership, but it was always about the discovery, not the result.
So your investment has paid off. You fell in love, treated her well, found happiness with her, and realized that ultimately this just isn’t what you want out of a lifelong partnership.
Oral sex is sex so she's not a virgin anymore
If you're going to throw those catholic middle school definitions around, you should be willing to accept that people grow up with different life experiences than you, and interpret language and their faith differently from you.
Oh you sweet summer child…
Yeah it's fuckin scary and painful, but you'll either come out with a stronger relationship or as healthier individuals
She's lying bro. Red fucking flag. Dump her. She's a narcissist and a sociopath.
/s
But seriously, that's troubling. At best, your wife is a complete idiot who's way too comfortable around other men. At worst, she's cheating. Seems like a lose/lose marriage lol
Maybe this guy has a series of complete and total accidents that require you to drive him to emergency room, capiche?
You saw him again after the first time…?
i can believe it
i had a similar situation, i think it was natural impulse from past relationships
You don't do anything but I'm sure you're attracting attention, you can ask people you trust, they'll tell you that you're flirting.
It's a good idea to leave
Elaborating on staying single?
Your life is a mess. You’ve made some terrible decisions, no doubt influenced by the ignorance of youth. You’re trying to be with a grown man when you’re barely out of childhood. A grown man, mind you, that actually sounds pathetic on paper (that ghosting shit is super immature) but you lose your shit and go psycho for him. And then you apologize because you think you’re wrong, which you definitely are, but so is he.
Date someone your own age. You’re not mature for your age, hell you sound a little immature for your age so definitely don’t believe that lie if and when people say it. Go about your business and either focus on career or studies and get away from this loser.
It’s been said a few times before but the issue is the alcohol. If your wife has had addiction problems and is now using a substance in a way that’s unhealthy for her and for your relationship, that’s not ok. also the fact that she’s now attracted to someone who also deals with extreme addiction seems relevant.
It's very telling that she only confessed after being backed into a corner. Also, some rando guy asks for a bj and she said yes immediately? Why wasn't it the friend who wanted to see it? Imagine she's actually into the next guy that hits on her? I don't know if 7 months is worth the uncertainty.
Her behaviour absolutely screams of projection.
That big of a reaction makes me think it wasn’t so “harmless”.. dude was literally shaking like a leave in the wind. Then said if roles were swap he wouldn’t believe you.
Dropping her as a client and then what.. what if there’s another client with the same outlines, are we rinsing and repeating?
Don’t think this was a panicked reaction, but just a played hand that got caught in the act of betrayal.
I think just call her or him and explain shes not welcome to come in and ask around for you and there either is nothing to talk about, or ask her what she wants. If it had to be in person, ask why and then decide. Personally? I don't think there is anything at all worth talking to her about. Who fucking cares if she has questions about why it ended and such?
He’s an abusive prick. What kind of partner leaves his wife and kids at an amusement park with no way to get home or to a hospital in an emergency?! That’s not a father who loves his wife and kids. That’s an abusive POS narcissist.
Make a plan and get out of this trash marriage. You and your kids deserve so much better.
I got no advice really but would stop being nice to this person as he obviously sees your niceness as a weakness. Good for you for keeping it lighthearted, I would’ve told him to fuck off the first time he grabbed me, not that it does anything but at least he won’t think he has a chance of getting somewhere without someone bleeding.
As for the HR thing you can but it kinda depends on how helpful the HR folks are, as that’s not always the case. Worst they can do is to fire him which doesn’t stop him from harassing you outside of work if he wants to retaliate. I’m sorry that you’re going through this and hope you stay safe 🙁
‘privacy has value’
Privacy does have value. So does trust though. She apparently doesn't trust you to look through her phone. And a relationship without trust is nothing.
would you be respectful or worried?
At first I would be both. After that I would probably be single.
I would think in order to salvage anything he would need to start with being honest.