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Does she know enough about your bike to find and effectively cut brake lines?
Because the statement is not true. As a woman, I get catcalled, started at a daily basis. And no I am not a beauty queen, just an average women not even in the prime of my youth.
If my bf told me he was “uncomfortable” with what I was wearing I would get the ick so quickly. I can’t imagine ever caring what someone else thinks of my outfit. I didn’t put it on for you.
GEORGE W. BUSH
You have to give credit to quotes.
Hard truths. Probably falling on deaf ears but needed to be said. The whole situation is being taken too lightly to begin with. I'd like to build on this with a tidbit to be taken into account. The future fathers take on having a child, now, with a woman he expressed no intention or interests on having a child with. And then being told that this major part of his future is out of his hands and it simply has to be accepted as is. She'll most likely be a single mother, he'll have to level his future on supporting another kid, her family will have to play a big role, let's not even begin on the kids future… That's a whole mess and a lot of lives in it. Good luck to them all I guess. They'll need every last bit of it. ?
If you are already asking is because you are ready, go have fun, be safe.
Keeping her insecure so she’s easier to manipulate and control.
Your gf has symptoms of ADHD. People with ADHD often procrastinate/hate/refuse to read long things. It is torture for them!!!
You picked the worst way to propose. Like making her go in 10 different hikes and then a proposal at the end. She is not going to be motivated to do it.
If someone in my spouse’s life doesn’t know I exist they are not a close friend or family member and therefore I don’t care if they know whether I exist. Period. Anyone who is important to my spouse of course knows I exist and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with social media. They know I exist because they KNOW my spouse irl.
Putting aside the tampering and lies, he wants kids, you do not. This is not a compatible relationship, there isn't a way to salvage it.
Did cuddles include some stinky fingers? If so, you cheated. Probably cheating if you even got half a chub.
And tells her he’s going to be an attorney. She’s blissfully unaware that they have hoops to jump through before sitting for the exam. If he has something to hide, he won’t be sitting.
This is the start of domestic abuse. I’m a retired LEO and have had extensive training in domestic violence and have arrested far too many so I’m not just guessing when I tell you this.
Domestic abusers start as sweet , kind people. Then one of a few things they do is start making decisions for you w o your knowledge. They’ll say you’re the one being secretive even though he booked the vacation in secrecy. They will isolate you from family and friends. Most times they make you quit working because there’s “no need” and or you need to be home taking care of the abuser, home, kids etc etc.
They will blame you for everything that’s wrong & they will keep tabs on your every move. Most will drive your route to work/school/gym etc etc and they’ll know exactly how long it takes to get from point A to point B. If it takes you any longer they’ll accuse you of cheating or not being where you’re supposed to be or where you said you’d be. They will follow you to make sure you’re where you’re supposed to be or if your w people they’ve deemed you should not be around even husband of friends and even family members. They will track your phone if not put some sort of spyware/listening aid on it to eavesdrop on conversations. Won’t let you make any private calls whatsoever and all calls must be in his presence unless he’s gone. But then you must give your phone to him when he gets home and check the call log and you must explain exactly what was said and then wha you supply must meet the time & length of the call almost exactly. They aren’t above calling the people you’ve called to ask what y’all talked about etc.
They even believe that their opinions are all that matters and yours means nothing. They will not talk about problems because they’re always right. Basically saying “this conversation is over”.
An abuser acts exactly like your Bf is right now. Most of this abuse will be emotional like this before marriage but then the physical abuse starts. Sometimes it’ll start before but most times they’ll wait so the SO won’t think of them abusers since it isn’t physical.
I have seen so many forms of abuse it scares me when I see posts like this. He is not a sweet , kind & gentle man. Consider that right now he is in control. How far he takes it no one knows but believe me all of this is just the beginning. It will get worse and depending on how you respond depends whether it’ll get physical. If he can control you w o being physical he will but if he thinks you’re not going to do as he says or you’re not exactly where you say you are when you say it he may get physical to make you understand not to lie.
Please for your own safety do not fall for this man’s lies. You think it won’t happen to me and before you know it it’s too late and you can’t leave because he’s made you quit working w no income. Won’t allow you to have a car. He’s isolated you from friend and family. He’s taken your phone away while he’s gone so you can’t call for help and then he hears every call you make. And before long you are trapped w nowhere to go, no money to go and no one to fall back on.
I know you love him but if you could see what I’ve seen you’d run from him and never look back. If there are any DV survivors here please read my comment and post if I’m truthful or not.
Or on a search engine that you can hide or erase your history look for signs of an abuser to see for yourself. I’m not just saying these things to scare you or to make you leave for no reason. If you were my daughter I would step in and prevent as much as I could.
Please he is dangerous and waiting to see if he may or may not become physical will be too late to leave. I wish you the best and I hope you’re safe
Thanks for the advice!
So she is a SAHM w/out a job outside of her home?
This is why they say if you ask out a friend you're jeopardizing your friendship. Your bfs feelings are valid and normal.
All this and you've been saying 3-4 months….let that sink I'm.
I use ear plugs. Get you some overnight ear plugs.
You two broke up for years… Do you think someone is going to put there life on pause and never interact with someone of the opposite sex?
If you cannot accept and get past this… this relationship may be as good as over. This is something you genuinely cannot hold against him.
I really don't think this guy you can't rely on at all, who has led you to make numerous sacrifices in only the first year of dating, who seems very frank about being ready to leave you if you don't fit into his vision for life, is the right match for you.
Please don't continue making sacrifices for him.
My concern is if I would be harming her at all entering into this type of connection?
someone who is telling you this kind of relationship was harmful to them and you're dismissing that. So why lie? Why pretend you care about harming this girl? Other than being a troll, Why are you here?
Trying to figure out what I do with this. I don’t want to divorce him, but I also can’t stomach my daughter growing up with anything less than an enthusiastic champion of her ambitions, accomplishments, and value in the world.
This is her father, whether you divorce him or not. For the rest of her life, he will teach her diametrically opposite of what you teach her.
Poor kid.
How long have you been together?
Soo… let's do some quick math here:
You've been together for 6 ish years (4 years dating + 2 years married). You're 32, meaning that you met her when you were 25 or 26, right?
Her being mad thay you with with someone else before the age of 25 is not a couples issue, it's not your issue in the slightest, it's her insecurities getting the better of her. Others have said it, but this is also not a couples therapy issue, she needs to be in individual therapy for this. She's behaving like someone literslly half her age, seriously, being petty and jealous about this stuff is, at best, high school shit.
That particular medication did not work well for me, although I know it's life changing for some! I have trauma related nightmares, and my doctor prescribed a low dose Seroquel.
It is technically an anti psychotic, but off-label can be used for sleep and anxiety. I used to scream the house awake from nightmares. What I like best about it is that it helped me fall asleep easily, eases anxiety, AND I can get woken up and not be groggy and disoriented. It really helped me fall back asleep after a nightmare when I have them. I used to do a lot of pacing, waiting out the adrenaline rush.
Just another thing to ask about to compare options, or as another alternative if needed.
You won’t recognize this man if you trip over him in 10 years. Do your thing.
Do I legally have to if it all occurred in another country? Not saying I wouldn't. Would need to prove its mine first.
A star football player would have the arrogance to think that just talking to a girl and finding out that she likes the same music is enough of a reason that she has to be into him. She doesn’t have to give him any signs because he would never think that she wouldn’t want to be in to a star player. Please don’t throw away a good relationship over an arrogant arse wipe. Trust your girl she told you what happened as soon as it happened.
Take responsibility for your children. This isn’t ‘boys will be boys.’
You are actively teaching your children that verbal abuse is perfectly fine towards a loved one or really anyone at all. You are being willfully ignorant and breeding the next generation of fucked up adults by doing this. Jesus.
If she doesn't mind a literal paragraph, then you're fine.
i simply don’t have time for people like you. since posting i have came to my own decision and am confident in myself. you’re just wrong.
I’m decently overweight
I think ive told you for the nth time we were not officially broken up. you cant just make assumptions when you werent even there or know us. I wasnt on vacation I dont think speaking to someone over the phone is the best means of communication espicially cause long distance phone calls wasnt an option.
and she was seeing her family am not going to interrupt that. things were ok, and we talked. and if you actually read my post you would see I have a career defining exam in two days, I would prefer if things were neutral up until then.
Her downloading dating apps, is an indication to me about what SHE wants.
He told me he dropped the charges so be disarmed himself. I haven’t spoke to him in three months