maybe she left it open ended because she doesn’t want to breakup but wants to give you an out if you wanted to leave? I don’t know either way tho you can kinda respond however you want. Do you want to breakup?
Don't do that to yourself. You'll set yourself up for failure. Being in a relationship is not a contest or race with others.. go at your pace.
Make yourself a promise. That you'll heal your heart before you even think about getting into another relationship. You're comparing yourself to an ex. That's obvious you need to heal. Until you do.. you will attract toxic people. Trust me on this.. I know that's a tall order for me to ask of you.
I've had 5 exs go on and get married and got to live the lives we had planned we broke up for various reasons.. my fault, their fault.. I'm almost 47 years old and I used to think how you do now.. had to compare my life with exs and it made me desperate and I went through a lot of relationships mostly because I was miserable with myself and i attracted some fucked up humans. I thought I knew what love meant then and I wanted the relationships to move along faster than what was good for either of us..
The worst relationship I ever had. We have known each other for almost 30 years. I cheated on the beat girlfriend I ever had ro be with a long time friend.. I thought I knew her very well.
She wanted to be in an open relationship and I wanted to be jn a relationship so bad that I agreed to it on the condition she was open and honest and to not hide anything from me.
One night she came home excessively drunk and she went right to bed. 2 hours later her phone is blowing up from this guy who was so very grateful for the wonderful evening they shared together snd looks forward to their next rendezvous.
I wake this bitch up demanding answers and she stumbled all over the bedroom trying to get the phone away from me… and she's a derby girl with tons of bruises anyways. She told everyone I beat her that night and I got tons of death threats and the morning my grandmother passed away this fucking bitch “committed fake 'unaliving' herself ” because she was at a .270BAC at 1om in the afternoon because I wasn't paying enough attention to her her and blamed the attempt on me which prompted and even more bigger outrage grom her fan base smd I tried to take care of myself and got nothing more than 2 gran Mal seizures . I kmow what you're thinking. I know this is way tmi
But I want you to understand where I'm coming from when I say please take your time in getting to know someone and be careful who you give your time and heart to. Make it count
If she is putting more into her co worker than she is with your. That would indicate an emotional affair at the minimum. She might have already taken farther.
There are many things you can do. Your options are to hire a private investigator. See if they can find evidence. Contact an attorney just to see what the impact of a divorce would be. Do not have unprotected sex. Consider contact her employer HR . Inappropriate relationships between co workers (married or not) are usually not allowed. Protect your finances.
This is so dumb. Unless she has a consistent habit of not following through on anything in her life or their relationship, this is just a control tactic to get her to lose weight for his gratification.
I care more about the sounds and enthusiasm than I do what they look like, obvious man with an obvious woman(felt like I needed to state that given the way Reddit has been lately)
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First of all EVERYONE knows you do not start a car in a garage with it closed up, you also don't start it and let it idol while the door is open. Carbon monoxide still gets into the home, and is dangerous.
Secondly you need to document with pictures, videos etc the abuse you are getting.
Letting your daughter grow up to see it is ok to be hit is not good for her, and it is damaging.
You are abusing your daughter by allowing her to grow up in a volatile environment like this.
Press charges on your wife for the abuse from this morning.
I suggest setting up nanny cams in your home, and not telling the wife, to catch the abuse. Just because she is a woman does not make it right.
Again, that hits close to home. As someone recovering from PPD and PPA, sleep deprivation is actually what almost ruined my marriage but I’m persevering with medication and will consider counseling before throwing in the towel.
OP’s reaction could very well be intensified by that kind of hormonal imbalance (especially her distorted view of herself and being unable to look in the mirror) but I still think she would be justified wanting to separate regardless since it has been a while with no improvement in therapy. I just couldn’t imagine raising three kids with a partner I could no longer trust after such a demoralizing discovery.
You've been fucking for a year but he's not sexually attracted to you. Does that even make sense? He's embarrassed about what people will think of him.
You've been fucking for a year but he's not sexually attracted to you. Does that even make sense? He's embarrassed about what people will think of him.
“Do what you wish BIL but this is our day not yours. We plan to hire security to ensure our wedding guest stick to the code so if you want to show up in a clown suit and make an ass of yourself you are more than welcome but understand you won’t get in the venue. You won’t ruin our wedding.”
Find someone mature enough to love a body the way it was made, even of you struggle with your own image, a partner who appreciates you and talks you up can make a HUGE difference. If he criticizes your boobs more, say you’d prefer an extra 2” but you’re making the best of what he’s got. That will either shut him up or you’ll find out what kind of “man” you’re dealing with.
Yes, driving while sleep deprived is dangerous. No one is disputing that. But it should be taken into consideration that op was not in the right frame of mind to register that at the time because she was 1) sleep deprived, and 2) being pressured by a loved one while sleep deprived.
Hey OP, having been in your same position once upon a time, I can say with absolute confidence he is saying this to manipulate you into getting back with him. Don’t do it.
Block his number Move on He is NOT your responsibility Focus on you and your life
If he wants to plan on you buying a property and fully renting out the duplex, it makes more sense for you to take half the mortgage payment each month and save it for a down-payment on a house later on. I'd push back on his thinking if he really wants you to have a house as well.
Honey, based on your previous post, buying a home with this man is the wrong choice.
Whether you will be a tenant or a mortgage holder, your gut is telling you something is off.
Why did you snoop? What's pushing that urge for you? It sounds like your relationship is rocky, the last thing you need to do is make yourself vulnerable by paying for half of his house.
Press pause, let him buy the house and stay in it by himself. See how that goes. If he can afford it, he can do it by himself.
A good therapist can help you determine if this relationship truly serves your needs or not. You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
Someone who cheats after four months is not in the relationship for the long haul. She wasn't “trying” to figure out your relationship with her. She had. She decided you weren't worth passing up the opportunity to screw someone else. Coming out of a bad relationship can absolutely equate to trust issues and pushing people away. Except in her case. OK, so did she jump into bed with you right away as well? If not, why does someone else get the reward while you got the work? “We have never been in such a great relationship before”. Perhaps you believe this, but her actions clearly demonstrate she does not.
It's not my place to tell you what to do, but all these red flags doesn't mean the circus is in town.
So you pushed off parenting your kids to him and then stood by and let your 6yr old dictate the household routine, which in turn frustrated your husband. Do you have a job? Do you have a place you need to rush off to and be on time to in the mornings? Doesn't sound like it. What responsibility do you take, if any, for what was happening that morning, including your child's behaviour?
It is very easy to jump live and write a skewed post appealing to strangers by dangling you kid's “victim-ness” because you know all the blame will shift to your husband. You have not mentioned if this is a common occurrence and you are the enabling parent. But no…..we are all supposed to take your side and whip the husband.
Why wouldn’t you. Still will be parents after you do.
Twenty years!! My goodness! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you spend the next 40 with someone that wants nothing more than to be with you.
He's a dick. You can get a way better boyfriend in the future. The bar is on the floor. Fuck this guy.
maybe she left it open ended because she doesn’t want to breakup but wants to give you an out if you wanted to leave? I don’t know either way tho you can kinda respond however you want. Do you want to breakup?
Don't do that to yourself. You'll set yourself up for failure. Being in a relationship is not a contest or race with others.. go at your pace.
Make yourself a promise. That you'll heal your heart before you even think about getting into another relationship. You're comparing yourself to an ex. That's obvious you need to heal. Until you do.. you will attract toxic people. Trust me on this.. I know that's a tall order for me to ask of you.
I've had 5 exs go on and get married and got to live the lives we had planned we broke up for various reasons.. my fault, their fault.. I'm almost 47 years old and I used to think how you do now.. had to compare my life with exs and it made me desperate and I went through a lot of relationships mostly because I was miserable with myself and i attracted some fucked up humans. I thought I knew what love meant then and I wanted the relationships to move along faster than what was good for either of us..
The worst relationship I ever had. We have known each other for almost 30 years. I cheated on the beat girlfriend I ever had ro be with a long time friend.. I thought I knew her very well.
She wanted to be in an open relationship and I wanted to be jn a relationship so bad that I agreed to it on the condition she was open and honest and to not hide anything from me.
One night she came home excessively drunk and she went right to bed. 2 hours later her phone is blowing up from this guy who was so very grateful for the wonderful evening they shared together snd looks forward to their next rendezvous.
I wake this bitch up demanding answers and she stumbled all over the bedroom trying to get the phone away from me… and she's a derby girl with tons of bruises anyways. She told everyone I beat her that night and I got tons of death threats and the morning my grandmother passed away this fucking bitch “committed fake 'unaliving' herself ” because she was at a .270BAC at 1om in the afternoon because I wasn't paying enough attention to her her and blamed the attempt on me which prompted and even more bigger outrage grom her fan base smd I tried to take care of myself and got nothing more than 2 gran Mal seizures . I kmow what you're thinking. I know this is way tmi
But I want you to understand where I'm coming from when I say please take your time in getting to know someone and be careful who you give your time and heart to. Make it count
If she is putting more into her co worker than she is with your. That would indicate an emotional affair at the minimum. She might have already taken farther.
There are many things you can do. Your options are to hire a private investigator. See if they can find evidence. Contact an attorney just to see what the impact of a divorce would be. Do not have unprotected sex. Consider contact her employer HR . Inappropriate relationships between co workers (married or not) are usually not allowed. Protect your finances.
This is so dumb. Unless she has a consistent habit of not following through on anything in her life or their relationship, this is just a control tactic to get her to lose weight for his gratification.
I care more about the sounds and enthusiasm than I do what they look like, obvious man with an obvious woman(felt like I needed to state that given the way Reddit has been lately)
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I am sorry, but your wife is dangerous.
First of all EVERYONE knows you do not start a car in a garage with it closed up, you also don't start it and let it idol while the door is open. Carbon monoxide still gets into the home, and is dangerous.
Secondly you need to document with pictures, videos etc the abuse you are getting.
Letting your daughter grow up to see it is ok to be hit is not good for her, and it is damaging.
You are abusing your daughter by allowing her to grow up in a volatile environment like this.
Press charges on your wife for the abuse from this morning.
I suggest setting up nanny cams in your home, and not telling the wife, to catch the abuse. Just because she is a woman does not make it right.
Get your daughter and get out.
Again, that hits close to home. As someone recovering from PPD and PPA, sleep deprivation is actually what almost ruined my marriage but I’m persevering with medication and will consider counseling before throwing in the towel.
OP’s reaction could very well be intensified by that kind of hormonal imbalance (especially her distorted view of herself and being unable to look in the mirror) but I still think she would be justified wanting to separate regardless since it has been a while with no improvement in therapy. I just couldn’t imagine raising three kids with a partner I could no longer trust after such a demoralizing discovery.
Exactly she’s the second choice, I would be devastated .
You've been fucking for a year but he's not sexually attracted to you. Does that even make sense? He's embarrassed about what people will think of him.
You've been fucking for a year but he's not sexually attracted to you. Does that even make sense? He's embarrassed about what people will think of him.
“Do what you wish BIL but this is our day not yours. We plan to hire security to ensure our wedding guest stick to the code so if you want to show up in a clown suit and make an ass of yourself you are more than welcome but understand you won’t get in the venue. You won’t ruin our wedding.”
that's… that's bad. move on.
Does your girlfriend know this?
Find someone mature enough to love a body the way it was made, even of you struggle with your own image, a partner who appreciates you and talks you up can make a HUGE difference. If he criticizes your boobs more, say you’d prefer an extra 2” but you’re making the best of what he’s got. That will either shut him up or you’ll find out what kind of “man” you’re dealing with.
Yes, driving while sleep deprived is dangerous. No one is disputing that. But it should be taken into consideration that op was not in the right frame of mind to register that at the time because she was 1) sleep deprived, and 2) being pressured by a loved one while sleep deprived.
Sounds like a relationship from hell. You don’t have trust. She gaslights. You’re too damn young to deal with such a toxic relationship.
Hey OP, having been in your same position once upon a time, I can say with absolute confidence he is saying this to manipulate you into getting back with him. Don’t do it.
Block his number Move on He is NOT your responsibility Focus on you and your life
Seconded
If he wants to plan on you buying a property and fully renting out the duplex, it makes more sense for you to take half the mortgage payment each month and save it for a down-payment on a house later on. I'd push back on his thinking if he really wants you to have a house as well.
Honey, based on your previous post, buying a home with this man is the wrong choice.
Whether you will be a tenant or a mortgage holder, your gut is telling you something is off.
Why did you snoop? What's pushing that urge for you? It sounds like your relationship is rocky, the last thing you need to do is make yourself vulnerable by paying for half of his house.
Press pause, let him buy the house and stay in it by himself. See how that goes. If he can afford it, he can do it by himself.
A good therapist can help you determine if this relationship truly serves your needs or not. You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
Trust your gut.
A few random thoughts.
Someone who cheats after four months is not in the relationship for the long haul. She wasn't “trying” to figure out your relationship with her. She had. She decided you weren't worth passing up the opportunity to screw someone else. Coming out of a bad relationship can absolutely equate to trust issues and pushing people away. Except in her case. OK, so did she jump into bed with you right away as well? If not, why does someone else get the reward while you got the work? “We have never been in such a great relationship before”. Perhaps you believe this, but her actions clearly demonstrate she does not.
It's not my place to tell you what to do, but all these red flags doesn't mean the circus is in town.
So you pushed off parenting your kids to him and then stood by and let your 6yr old dictate the household routine, which in turn frustrated your husband. Do you have a job? Do you have a place you need to rush off to and be on time to in the mornings? Doesn't sound like it. What responsibility do you take, if any, for what was happening that morning, including your child's behaviour?
It is very easy to jump live and write a skewed post appealing to strangers by dangling you kid's “victim-ness” because you know all the blame will shift to your husband. You have not mentioned if this is a common occurrence and you are the enabling parent. But no…..we are all supposed to take your side and whip the husband.
…or she could just be immature.
Why wouldn’t you. Still will be parents after you do.
Twenty years!! My goodness! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you spend the next 40 with someone that wants nothing more than to be with you.