She’s helping the dudes current girlfriend from potentially having kids with someone that can’t stay in a committed relationship too. Potentially saved her from getting STDs if he’s sleeping around while seeing someone. Helps the person who was cheating to realize that they’re not that smart and they shouldn’t have done it. And it helps to clear OPs conscious in the process
He is a liar. He absolutely physically cheated on you and he will do it again. He’s almost 10 years older than you. You can do better than a cheater. You should move on it’s only going to get worse.
You dont mind her frindship with her ex, who is toxic and cheats on his partners?
Do you think such a person will respect the boundaries of your relationship?
Don't you think that there is a good chance that your SO who also cheated in the past might get whooed over by him?
I 100% think you did the right thing here. To move on from past relationships one must cut all the ties. Also him blocking her on everything sounds like the definition of emotional manipulation and toxic behavior.
The bit about their 4 mutual friends also struck me as odd. If I was a friend of your GF, the last thing i would want for her is a friendship with a manipulative, cheating, and toxic ex.
I do not think it is fair to you or respectful of your guys' relationship for her to be friends with him. I would not allow that. If you do it will cause issues down the line.
Sorry to say it but she's not the one. A baby is a terrible idea in this situation and I guarantee if she got a baby down the line if you split she would use baby against you.
Okay this guy is already physically violent with you 8 months in. Consider that if you have a child with this guy he will not only be in your life for the next 18 years but also your existing children's lives via you. I would say to protect your other kids you should avoid anything that would prevent you from legally getting away from someone who has no problem grabbing you by the throat when angry.
40M/married here….the fuck are you hangin out with 22 year olds for? What could you possibly have in common with a 22 year old female? Why would you put yourself in a position to cheat with a 22 year old? I’m 40….I work out daily. I’ve never had the inclination to talk to a female while at the gym, much less a fuckin 22 year old kid. I don’t even like asking people to spot me. You absolutely knew what you were doing and you liked it enough to entice a 22 year old to have sex with you, and to make matters worse, how do you think your wife felt about you sleeping with someone half your age vs with her?
These kinds of firecracker romances usually end up badly.
You two barely know each other. The attraction is there, but there’s no groundwork for friendship, relationship, nothing long lasting. Meanwhile, she has a boyfriend who she has invested three years into. while that relationship might be on life-support, it has all the infrastructure to become something real. I think she is beginning to see that.
And then of course, she’s also cheating on him. I can’t imagine how guilty she feels about that. She probably genuinely cares about her current boyfriend despite their problems… They wouldn’t have been together for three years otherwise.
And then there’s you. Put bluntly, you are thinking with your dick. If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up with nothing and a toxic workplace to boot. Be careful.
As someone who is in an open relationship who was not totally on board with the concept the only real solution is leave, it will only end in heartache if you try to do it and you not into it.
This is not an issues with two sides to be carefully evaluated, like PlayStation vs Xbox. For most people, this is a simple right vs wrong argument. You both took marriage vows. You agreed to forsake all others. He now wants to rewrite that to his convenience, at the expense of you. For most people, that would result in a simple “no thank-you, here are the divorce papers”.
I’m curious who he talked to before. My wife had similar preferences. I talked to her family about proposing before I did it and my MIL insisted it all be on camera and tried to hire a camera person to hide and pop out of a bush or whatever. I ignored it and luckily we were states away. But I wonder if someone got in his head.
but….planning your future and how you want to live your life is hardly trivial, is it? I see in your posts a lack of ambition. You seem to be perfectly fine with your lot in life and don't want for anything more. Meanwhile, she sees this stage as a stepping stone to her goals, while you're just coasting through life.
Have the two of you ever really talked about your future together? What it is you want? What does she want? Do those goals align? Can the two of you compromise so you'll both be happy? This is big stuff, not “trivial”.
Sure, but there is a big difference between attending a religious service to gain cultural insight/mark an occasion with loved ones and attending a religious service out of pure interest.
He also did his masters, so I also support him at the same time. I adjust to him the last few years, and ended up having study delay because of it. Because he was not happy in this city, I adjusted my life around him, because he told it would be different after I finished.
You very much can 1000000000% control what comes out your mouth and how you react. Pregnancy is NOT an excuse to abuse your husband. Go to a therapist and sort yourself out.
Dude – she sucks. You know the answer already. Yes it sucks about the kid but you know what’s worse? Having parent/step parents who have a shit relationship
Nah. I replied to someone who said she shouldn't have kids that you shouldn't make assumptions without any info. Someone else said it was in the post, I said no, all it said was “scary birth”. Then you replied about your SIL. From the very beginning, my stance has been that if you don't know what happened during her delivery, you shouldn't say she shouldn't have more kids
She’s helping the dudes current girlfriend from potentially having kids with someone that can’t stay in a committed relationship too. Potentially saved her from getting STDs if he’s sleeping around while seeing someone. Helps the person who was cheating to realize that they’re not that smart and they shouldn’t have done it. And it helps to clear OPs conscious in the process
He is a liar. He absolutely physically cheated on you and he will do it again. He’s almost 10 years older than you. You can do better than a cheater. You should move on it’s only going to get worse.
You dont mind her frindship with her ex, who is toxic and cheats on his partners?
Do you think such a person will respect the boundaries of your relationship?
Don't you think that there is a good chance that your SO who also cheated in the past might get whooed over by him?
I 100% think you did the right thing here. To move on from past relationships one must cut all the ties. Also him blocking her on everything sounds like the definition of emotional manipulation and toxic behavior.
The bit about their 4 mutual friends also struck me as odd. If I was a friend of your GF, the last thing i would want for her is a friendship with a manipulative, cheating, and toxic ex.
I do not think it is fair to you or respectful of your guys' relationship for her to be friends with him. I would not allow that. If you do it will cause issues down the line.
Sorry to say it but she's not the one. A baby is a terrible idea in this situation and I guarantee if she got a baby down the line if you split she would use baby against you.
Too many red flags, move on
Okay this guy is already physically violent with you 8 months in. Consider that if you have a child with this guy he will not only be in your life for the next 18 years but also your existing children's lives via you. I would say to protect your other kids you should avoid anything that would prevent you from legally getting away from someone who has no problem grabbing you by the throat when angry.
Did you cut off 100% contact with this “gym buddy” (your mistress)
40M/married here….the fuck are you hangin out with 22 year olds for? What could you possibly have in common with a 22 year old female? Why would you put yourself in a position to cheat with a 22 year old? I’m 40….I work out daily. I’ve never had the inclination to talk to a female while at the gym, much less a fuckin 22 year old kid. I don’t even like asking people to spot me. You absolutely knew what you were doing and you liked it enough to entice a 22 year old to have sex with you, and to make matters worse, how do you think your wife felt about you sleeping with someone half your age vs with her?
Your wife deserves better.
Fuckkkkkk him girl! I don’t wanna be married to a guy like that
These kinds of firecracker romances usually end up badly.
You two barely know each other. The attraction is there, but there’s no groundwork for friendship, relationship, nothing long lasting. Meanwhile, she has a boyfriend who she has invested three years into. while that relationship might be on life-support, it has all the infrastructure to become something real. I think she is beginning to see that.
And then of course, she’s also cheating on him. I can’t imagine how guilty she feels about that. She probably genuinely cares about her current boyfriend despite their problems… They wouldn’t have been together for three years otherwise.
And then there’s you. Put bluntly, you are thinking with your dick. If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up with nothing and a toxic workplace to boot. Be careful.
And don’t help someone cheat, OK? Not classy.
As someone who is in an open relationship who was not totally on board with the concept the only real solution is leave, it will only end in heartache if you try to do it and you not into it.
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Good zinger with those percents. Real succinct
At that age he’s still immature and a total pig.
This is not an issues with two sides to be carefully evaluated, like PlayStation vs Xbox. For most people, this is a simple right vs wrong argument. You both took marriage vows. You agreed to forsake all others. He now wants to rewrite that to his convenience, at the expense of you. For most people, that would result in a simple “no thank-you, here are the divorce papers”.
If you realised your sisters worth you would have cut this creep out of your life the moment you found out your husband was a predator.
You were ok with what she was doing before you broke up and now you want to be petty. Move on and let it go.
no cop is going to consider me an accomplice to her driving fucked up
I’m curious who he talked to before. My wife had similar preferences. I talked to her family about proposing before I did it and my MIL insisted it all be on camera and tried to hire a camera person to hide and pop out of a bush or whatever. I ignored it and luckily we were states away. But I wonder if someone got in his head.
thank you for giving me another pov to think and learn from thank you as well for this, I really appreciate the help.
but….planning your future and how you want to live your life is hardly trivial, is it? I see in your posts a lack of ambition. You seem to be perfectly fine with your lot in life and don't want for anything more. Meanwhile, she sees this stage as a stepping stone to her goals, while you're just coasting through life.
Have the two of you ever really talked about your future together? What it is you want? What does she want? Do those goals align? Can the two of you compromise so you'll both be happy? This is big stuff, not “trivial”.
You were framed.. it was an elaborate plan y your bf to break up with you and hook up with bffs gf. …/s
Sure, but there is a big difference between attending a religious service to gain cultural insight/mark an occasion with loved ones and attending a religious service out of pure interest.
I haven't had a relationship but I wouldn't be able to hook up with other girls if I was in one and it's too serious for me to just jump into that.
I think you need to suggest he sees a therapist
He also did his masters, so I also support him at the same time. I adjust to him the last few years, and ended up having study delay because of it. Because he was not happy in this city, I adjusted my life around him, because he told it would be different after I finished.
Dump
Forgot to mention she may knowingly have an std and is not telling him
Thanks! It be one thing if I got into the relationship if she was already a sex worker, but this didn't start until a few months ago :/
You very much can 1000000000% control what comes out your mouth and how you react. Pregnancy is NOT an excuse to abuse your husband. Go to a therapist and sort yourself out.
Dude – she sucks. You know the answer already. Yes it sucks about the kid but you know what’s worse? Having parent/step parents who have a shit relationship
Move out. I wish I had been able to move out when my oldest was still a baby.
Nah. I replied to someone who said she shouldn't have kids that you shouldn't make assumptions without any info. Someone else said it was in the post, I said no, all it said was “scary birth”. Then you replied about your SIL. From the very beginning, my stance has been that if you don't know what happened during her delivery, you shouldn't say she shouldn't have more kids
Leave him. Quit being a doormat.
Thank you really for taking the time to help! I appreciate ir a lot. I’ll give him time and hope for the best!
Because the post is about one and not the other?