Hey, man, I lost my dog in 2016 and my dad in 2018. Losing my dad hurt more, but I cried way more over my dog.
Anyone who can’t sympathize with losing an animal that you’ve bonded with over your lifetime isn’t worth your time. And to get angry with you on top of it… she’s not there for you when your life is a little bit rough so how does that look in the future? Because life has a lot of rough spots.
Thank you, somehow deep down I really did want to just move past it and understand that I put immense pressure onto them during that time.
I do think that that's what I will ultimately do. Be the bigger person, it's true, both of them went through a mental storm and still decided to be here for me and support me. I wasn't rational back then, and I couldn't ask them to be either.
So I will put this past us and if anything bring it up in a light-hearted manner once I meet her face to face.
It wasn't just a bad joke. You were making fun of your significant other, you were basically bullying your partner and then go… “but it's a joooooooke” and to see many people make excuses for your behavior? Yikes.
This was probably(if the story is true, I suspect creative writing) not the first incident of this BS and more like a last straw.
I appreciate that you want more for him. Did you tell him that? Or did you just say hurtful things? Not judging because at your age I could absolutely hear myself. Unless you know his finances and know that they can retire financially secure, be careful how you judge him. There are a lot of costs to ageing and retiring. He may feel he also needs to be able to continue to support his grown family. I don't know him. But, it's okay to let him know that you're time has value too. The brakes? That's on him and don't feel guilty. I just wouldn't be so angry that I stopped talking to him over that.
My husband is 38 and we have a 15 month old. So you’re ok technically to have a child but only if you were younger. My grandfather had my @little@ uncle at 55. So you’re willing to lose your wife.
Thank you. Since day one I’ve been surprising her with dates and have tried to make them special. I actually enjoy planning them and seeing how excited she is, makes me feel good.
We are both gamers so we talk in discord quite a bit. We’re both too poor to move countries at this point. My main goal rn is trying to not fuck it up before we even truly get started.
He has a girlfriend maybe or he is catching feelings and doesn't want to go there. Maybe message and ask why, but if he doesn't want to say, you may never know.
He's not invested in the relationship. What will his next excuse be? Men who love a woman do not treat them poorly and then make excuses. You need to decide for yourself whether it will be easier to move forward with your life alone or as a single parent.
Happy for you & happy to know your bf is worth it & he is a true bf which is quite rare nowadays.
However, you need to be careful as many posted here that it started out harmless / nothing to worry about – like the bf/husband was ignorant / oblivious to the advances / flirting but due to circumstances / unable to steer away & avoid it then the incoming lust “he” succumb to it & cheated.
– warn your cousin to behave as its rude & disrespectful to you & to chase after someone bf. its unbecoming of a 'cousin' character to behave as such. tell her to find her own man.
tell your boyfriend to tell her off / shut her down if she cross boundaries like to touchy on him / taking touching food on his plate etc because if he doesn't it will look like him allowing her to do so. this will show to her that he is serious & totally uninterested in here. He should not be entertaining her & her flirtatious action.
most women will back off if the man himself tell her off as its really embarrassing when its not reciprocate.
Not agreeing to the threesome wouldn’t have had any effect on the previous years of clandestine infidelity. That relationship was destroyed years ago.
If anything, going through with it got him some crucial information that he can now use to put his life on a new track. If he had refused, the two cheaters would have gone back to business as usual, and OP would still be in a broken marriage, none the wiser.
How many times does he need to cheat on you with online women before you decide enough is enough? Fighting for your marriage depends on how much you enjoy living in a state of paranoia about what he is doing with other women. If you enjoy being on edge, miserable, feeling like you have to snoop, interrogating him whenever he is too late coming home, having no trust in him, being let down every time you catch him doing cyber sex with women after he promised not to do it again, then by all means fight for it. Oh, and you may want to make sure he uses condoms from now on as he also can’t be trusted in practicing safe see with his affair partners and you could wind up being gifted by him with something nasty or incurable.
I’ve made it quite clear if I find out anything else (which nothing has happened since the last time I found stuff) then I would leave him and file for divorce. And I’ve been adamant about that.
He either doesn’t care, or he knows you are full of very hot air and empty threats and from the sounds of it, he’s right.
Good news is that he is interested, but still not completely sure yet and doesn’t want to hurt his good friend. That’s the resistance you gotta burst through with your good looks and charm. Charm him, tell him he’s handsome when you see it and mean it. Guys do have girls who are friends, but when it crosses over it usually is about sex. If you really want him, get pretty, dress sexy and stay confident . You got this, have fun and flirt with him, take him out or ‘accidentally’ bump into him at the pub. Get ruthless!! Find him on the open Serengeti dazed in your beauty, then eye fuck the shit outta him. if that doesn’t work back off and let him simmer for a while. Play hard to get and forget his call for a day or so. Times running out you guys probably only have a few months until he gets defensive or you may get frustrated and hurt.
I'm projecting because I'm given very little info. When I was 26 my mon was 66 so … sure you're right about him not being middle age, but you don't know her age. 66 is technically elderly. Don't act like I'm the only one filling in the blanks. ?
Here's what I see: a dood takes care of his mom.
We dont know her age, or if she's disabled. All I asked was “why is this yikes” and people are up in arms. LoL
yes i agree!! he doesn’t let his cat out without his harness and cat absolutely hates it so he’s only been outside twice before. I’ve tried to talk him into letting the cat out, he won’t budge 🙁
i agree. i will discuss it longer next time for sure, and take your advice on switching the convo. thank you!
i’m hoping that since they recently got a new therapist, maybe they will truly work on it now. i really love them, and it’s something i used to be okay with looking the other way. i just worry when we online together, it may get worse
Hon, his issues don’t mean he can abuse like this. He needs to deal with his trauma on his own through therapy or something, not rely on someone that is 7 years younger and not a professional.
But if hr really cared about how this made you feel, he would listen instead of shutting you up.
I think this is a stupid reason to leave your husband and the your child away from their father.
If he was posting the photos online or something, that would be different. But if he took the photos with the other person's consent, what's the big deal if he keeps them?
The only violation of trust I see is letting you see them, since I'm assuming whoever was in the photos probably wouldn't want anyone else to see them.
I can understand you being upset and not wanting him to have them. But leaving him over this sounds ridiculous to me.
your wife is 23 with a four year old. thats all I need to say.
Hey, man, I lost my dog in 2016 and my dad in 2018. Losing my dad hurt more, but I cried way more over my dog.
Anyone who can’t sympathize with losing an animal that you’ve bonded with over your lifetime isn’t worth your time. And to get angry with you on top of it… she’s not there for you when your life is a little bit rough so how does that look in the future? Because life has a lot of rough spots.
Thank you, somehow deep down I really did want to just move past it and understand that I put immense pressure onto them during that time.
I do think that that's what I will ultimately do. Be the bigger person, it's true, both of them went through a mental storm and still decided to be here for me and support me. I wasn't rational back then, and I couldn't ask them to be either.
So I will put this past us and if anything bring it up in a light-hearted manner once I meet her face to face.
Wish granted, he now has been terminated from his position, which also gives him hours of more free time.
It wasn't just a bad joke. You were making fun of your significant other, you were basically bullying your partner and then go… “but it's a joooooooke” and to see many people make excuses for your behavior? Yikes.
This was probably(if the story is true, I suspect creative writing) not the first incident of this BS and more like a last straw.
Go
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no, she didn't return the ring.
This is simplicity itself.
If you have Mental Health issues, thats a problem.
If your fuckin up managing your MH issues thats YOUR problem.
You DON'T need “advice”.
You DO need commitment to managing your condition.
Having trouble communicating?
Start with communicating with you Healthcare provider.
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The problem is that the contents of my wallet would be less than that.
No worries! Glad I could help and hope it actually does help.
That’s unfortunately what I’m worried abt, that he expected me to be the fun young gf and I’m not fulfilling that role by having problems
I appreciate that you want more for him. Did you tell him that? Or did you just say hurtful things? Not judging because at your age I could absolutely hear myself. Unless you know his finances and know that they can retire financially secure, be careful how you judge him. There are a lot of costs to ageing and retiring. He may feel he also needs to be able to continue to support his grown family. I don't know him. But, it's okay to let him know that you're time has value too. The brakes? That's on him and don't feel guilty. I just wouldn't be so angry that I stopped talking to him over that.
My husband is 38 and we have a 15 month old. So you’re ok technically to have a child but only if you were younger. My grandfather had my @little@ uncle at 55. So you’re willing to lose your wife.
Thank you. Since day one I’ve been surprising her with dates and have tried to make them special. I actually enjoy planning them and seeing how excited she is, makes me feel good.
The CP comments are odd. Why does that matter that he has CP?
We are both gamers so we talk in discord quite a bit. We’re both too poor to move countries at this point. My main goal rn is trying to not fuck it up before we even truly get started.
You suggested that he celebrates the rest of his life. What does that mean?
That’s literally insane!
He has a girlfriend maybe or he is catching feelings and doesn't want to go there. Maybe message and ask why, but if he doesn't want to say, you may never know.
From what you've told, it looks like she IS using coke. And your concerns are valid.
I think you must have a serious conversation with her.
However, be forwarned, that said talk may end the relationship but it is necessary.
Maybe you should tell her you constantly cheat on her by having phone sex with other men. She may decide to find a man who actually cares about her 🙂
He's not invested in the relationship. What will his next excuse be? Men who love a woman do not treat them poorly and then make excuses. You need to decide for yourself whether it will be easier to move forward with your life alone or as a single parent.
Happy for you & happy to know your bf is worth it & he is a true bf which is quite rare nowadays.
However, you need to be careful as many posted here that it started out harmless / nothing to worry about – like the bf/husband was ignorant / oblivious to the advances / flirting but due to circumstances / unable to steer away & avoid it then the incoming lust “he” succumb to it & cheated.
– warn your cousin to behave as its rude & disrespectful to you & to chase after someone bf. its unbecoming of a 'cousin' character to behave as such. tell her to find her own man.
tell your boyfriend to tell her off / shut her down if she cross boundaries like to touchy on him / taking touching food on his plate etc because if he doesn't it will look like him allowing her to do so. this will show to her that he is serious & totally uninterested in here. He should not be entertaining her & her flirtatious action.
most women will back off if the man himself tell her off as its really embarrassing when its not reciprocate.
This! He said something shitty but if her feelings are hurt it's her own fault?!? Yeah naw, that's not how this works.
Please don’t do this. It’s fraudulent
I'm not saying buy the chick a house.
But after 8 months he hasn't taken her out on a vacation?
These aren't “random expenses”.
This is your life. You only get one shot. You have to enjoy it.
Not agreeing to the threesome wouldn’t have had any effect on the previous years of clandestine infidelity. That relationship was destroyed years ago.
If anything, going through with it got him some crucial information that he can now use to put his life on a new track. If he had refused, the two cheaters would have gone back to business as usual, and OP would still be in a broken marriage, none the wiser.
Ok but is it wrong to fight for our marriage?
How many times does he need to cheat on you with online women before you decide enough is enough? Fighting for your marriage depends on how much you enjoy living in a state of paranoia about what he is doing with other women. If you enjoy being on edge, miserable, feeling like you have to snoop, interrogating him whenever he is too late coming home, having no trust in him, being let down every time you catch him doing cyber sex with women after he promised not to do it again, then by all means fight for it. Oh, and you may want to make sure he uses condoms from now on as he also can’t be trusted in practicing safe see with his affair partners and you could wind up being gifted by him with something nasty or incurable.
I’ve made it quite clear if I find out anything else (which nothing has happened since the last time I found stuff) then I would leave him and file for divorce. And I’ve been adamant about that.
He either doesn’t care, or he knows you are full of very hot air and empty threats and from the sounds of it, he’s right.
Good news is that he is interested, but still not completely sure yet and doesn’t want to hurt his good friend. That’s the resistance you gotta burst through with your good looks and charm. Charm him, tell him he’s handsome when you see it and mean it. Guys do have girls who are friends, but when it crosses over it usually is about sex. If you really want him, get pretty, dress sexy and stay confident . You got this, have fun and flirt with him, take him out or ‘accidentally’ bump into him at the pub. Get ruthless!! Find him on the open Serengeti dazed in your beauty, then eye fuck the shit outta him. if that doesn’t work back off and let him simmer for a while. Play hard to get and forget his call for a day or so. Times running out you guys probably only have a few months until he gets defensive or you may get frustrated and hurt.
I'm projecting because I'm given very little info. When I was 26 my mon was 66 so … sure you're right about him not being middle age, but you don't know her age. 66 is technically elderly. Don't act like I'm the only one filling in the blanks. ?
Here's what I see: a dood takes care of his mom.
We dont know her age, or if she's disabled. All I asked was “why is this yikes” and people are up in arms. LoL
End it. He’s never going to change. If he hasn’t moved out by the age of 36 he’s staying there until she dies.
yes i agree!! he doesn’t let his cat out without his harness and cat absolutely hates it so he’s only been outside twice before. I’ve tried to talk him into letting the cat out, he won’t budge 🙁
Tell her that since they a refunding the money you payed, you want to put it back where it came from (in your account).
i agree. i will discuss it longer next time for sure, and take your advice on switching the convo. thank you!
i’m hoping that since they recently got a new therapist, maybe they will truly work on it now. i really love them, and it’s something i used to be okay with looking the other way. i just worry when we online together, it may get worse
Thank you – it can be lonely to try to find the right path. This is also it is important that you find professional help in a lawyer!!! Best of all!
Hon, his issues don’t mean he can abuse like this. He needs to deal with his trauma on his own through therapy or something, not rely on someone that is 7 years younger and not a professional.
But if hr really cared about how this made you feel, he would listen instead of shutting you up.
Let him GO
Do you have even one of these selfies with him posted on your Instagram with him tagged?
I can’t believe the 37 year old dating a woman who isn’t old enough to enter a bar was a creep.
I think this is a stupid reason to leave your husband and the your child away from their father.
If he was posting the photos online or something, that would be different. But if he took the photos with the other person's consent, what's the big deal if he keeps them?
The only violation of trust I see is letting you see them, since I'm assuming whoever was in the photos probably wouldn't want anyone else to see them.
I can understand you being upset and not wanting him to have them. But leaving him over this sounds ridiculous to me.