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This subreddit. I've seen this place call 34 and 36 a large age gap in one thread but that seemed to be an isolated incident. I don't understand comments like those lol, they think anything other than the exact same age is insane and cannot function.
You two are nowhere near ready to be married, postpone that stuff immediately. She might not even be ready to be in a steady relationship with you at this point. She is so uncomfortable telling you she is going out, she lies and says she is going to bed. I doubt it's a sput of the moment thing she goes to bed, then gets back up to go out. Women don't go to bed, then get back up and reapply makeup and such. Add in the fact she doesn't want to text you when she does go out, says she will talk to you tomorrow. You sound as if you view the relationship as serious, she doesn't by any means.
You need to sit her down the next time you talk and ask her what she wants from this relationship, how she feels about you, and if she is ready for marriage. Let her talk and don't fill in the blanks. Don't lead her into answers you want to hear either. Before you talk to her, prepare yourself for answers going good or bad. She sounds as if she is going to disappoint you with this talk.
Yeah, definitely do that he's gross. Tell him to either step up or move out and don't fall for any of the love bombing.
My friends husband and ten month old baby were killed in a car accident. They were hit by a drunk driver. Her husband was killed instantly but her tiny baby suffered for ten days before she died. Ask that piece of shit partner of yours how he would feel if he was the person that killed a baby.
If you don’t go to that date I will personally cross overseas and kick you ass.
I’m the guy who doesn’t only expect that. I want to connect on many levels with my partner. That’s why it irritates me when women try to lump me in with the men that are shallow and treat women like objects for their sexual pleasure. But you’re young you don’t understand a lot so I get the narrow mindedness
Have you thought that she already got it and is delaying because she doesn’t want to say yes?
Hey OP — why are you proposing to someone who won’t read a letter you wrote her? Why are you trying to spend your life with someone who you don’t know well enough to know the right way to propose to her?
Please don’t just think I’m criticizing you or your desire to be with this person. I’m not. I just want you to think about it. A proposal is about both of you. What you think is romantic, but also what she thinks is romantic. If you don’t know your partner well enough to know what they would actually pay attention to/think is a good proposal, then you might not know your partner well enough to marry.
You need to be able to communicate with your partner, which includes understanding how each other communicate — it’s a two way street, and our lives experiences and perspectives change how each person receives and views communication. If you can’t properly communicate your proposal, then maybe she is not the right partner, or this is not the right time yet. My husband and I were dating for 9 years before we got married, because we started dating at your ages. We had a lot of growth and learning to do to communicate better. We loved each other instantly, and we knew that first year that we would be married. But if we had gotten married then, we might not have made it, because we weren’t mature enough to always see the other person in the relationship. He might have proposed in a way I didn’t like or understand. I would have pushed that because I meant something a certain way, he can’t be mad that he perceived it another.
I’m so glad we waited, as lame as it was sometimes, because we don’t have fights. We have miscommunications that we laugh about later because it was the same old he thought I meant a when I meant b, or vice versa.
Think about it for the next couple days before Christmas. If you’re still sure that you are both ready for this (and I sure as hell hoped you’ve actually talked marriage — proposals should never be a surprise in that regard. Marriage should alwYs have been honestly discussed between the two partners prior to a proposal) then you should make the letter look super fancy and Christmas-y and make it her main gift. Don’t give her any other gifts until she’s read it, so she doesn’t get distracted.
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It is absolutely disrespectful his family doesn’t know your last name or even care enough to pretend to pronounce it correctly. If you want a glimpse of you future with him; remember need he dealt with the problem; he didn’t. He’s comfortable with how his family treated you and won’t correct it. I can’t imagine standing by as my family comically mispronounce my SO’s name – AFTER 6 years? Hell naw! HE needs to deal with his family.
I think you made the right choice. What was her response?
Not if feels disrespected and thought the lunch more than it actually did
lol, my buddy wants to build a 40k pole barn right now, and that's the cost to build it on land he already owns
Lol, yes, I'm defensive. Everybody on these subs thinks they can “read between the lines” when they're really only good at overestimating their perceptive talents.
My last comment provided a perfectly plausible alternative, but you just don't want to even entertain it because it conflicts with your preconceptions. So yeah, let's leave it.
Then maybe he just a good friend, the person you talking about its your bf of the abusive relationship?
OP, your decision to go to class while sick is not at all analogous to his decision to imprison you when you refused to obey him. His decision was not a natural or rational response to your decision. The fact that you are describing his behavior as a response to your poor decision is an example of you justifying and rationalizing. Which is a symptom of abuse.
How did NO ONE say anything?
I might have the opposite problem to OP's girlfriend, in that my waist is super sensitive being touched. Literally every time I've had to tell a strange dude not to touch me no one else in the room said shit. People really leave women to fend off creeps all alone. If you see shit like this, please do speak up.
Wow, me my fiance goes to McDonald's we just end up with extra sauce and keep it in the fridge for next McDonald's meal. Wow, she apologized for her behavior that was uncalled for!
The fact that you are mad about your mom coming in makes you a bit of an asshole, I feel bad for her. And if you need the internet to figure out “hey mom, thanks for the food but I would appreciate you not just walking into my house. I just want you to ask and not barge in”, makes me wonder if you’re old enough to be married or even have a kid.
Yea just move on to the next one best not to even have drama or have the potential to face drama especially this early on
Why do you want to fuck your incestuous siblings? Am I missing something?
I went on a date with someone who put way too much energy into it and it was awkward. He had it all planned, but it was way more than I was anticipating. We met at an art gallery in DC, but it wound up being for painting activity/class. No worries, but we then had to either leave the things for the trash or walk around with wet paintings, and that wasn’t the end of the date. He had chosen a place to eat that was apparently super well known for hamburgers with any kind of meat, but I never order hamburgers, so it was kind of a waste and he seemed grumpy about it. Then we went to some smoothie place. I kept expecting it to be over, and it just…wasn’t. The end was a short-film marathon showing of all of the Oscar-winning animated shorts for x number of years, so it was easily twice as long as a normal movie. The things were kind of fun, individually, but it felt so much like he’d planned out every detail in his mind that it felt odd. He was a nice person, and our conversations were pretty good, but it was a lot. Reading this reminded me of that.
That said, sometimes, this will happen and it doesn’t have anything to do with you. And while some things can be valid input, I would vastly prefer to be ghosted than to have someone say something that gave me a weird complex. It’s one date. I don’t even think it “counts” as ghosting at that point. It’s just not responding/reaching out again. Shake it off. Try to be a little more lighthearted about it.
He is a bad person, OP. He's wearing you out and doesn't care about your feelings.
Don't marry him.
Ouch! I’m so sorry that looks painful. You don’t need to cover it up. I think you both should just be honest and try to laugh it off. If you have an eye patch, maybe wear that? But in any case, her parents should be understanding of how much you care about your gf and are showing patience and compassion and respect in this moment! Accidents happen and it’s sweet how much you care about making a good impression. Your true thoughts and feelings will show through- and this will make a funny story in the future!
I’m also assuming this person speaks fluent English. And you two aren’t chums.
Trust your gut. I’ve been around creepy old dudes for work plenty as a young woman. You don’t need to respond at all.
“Something led to the wife feeling the way she does, I don’t think this just happened out of no where.”
That's the point… sounds like the culmination of some unlucky enchained things.
Either a) he decides to cheat, b) gets violent when you say no, c) coerces/forces you, or d) any number of other bad outcomes.
This is why you guys should take space from each other post-breakup. Does he regret the breakup and want to get back together? Maybe, but more likely it’s some confused feelings and you guys are just going to long out your breakup.
Ask your friendship group if they can hang out with you each separately for a few months whilst you get over your feelings. You guys can try being friends after you’ve gained a bit of distance.
Why are you dating someone who doesn't like you?
He stops responding if I do and then I freak out because I still hold on to the hope that I can fix it I can make it okay. This isn't real this isn't my life and then I go extra clingy. Then he gets madder and nastier
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Deal breaker! Rethink this.
I can’t believe that a “chess game” is more important than his news period. Our almighty phones have skewed relationships for way too long.
And I am guilty! My daughter has pilot the brakes on being on line when we could T A L K (like to each other)! We’re talking about a game being more important than news they’ve been working on for a long time.
NTA. In fact I’d be pissed at her for considering that her game was more important than him. Conceivably, she even knew about the interview so I’m doubling down here. gf is TA.
Now if she was actually doing something important, I could see her being a bit