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Masturbation [427 tokens remaining]
No easy answer for this one. It'll get better with time, honestly. What you could do to help keep your mind from thinking about it is to start to focus on you.
Breakups can be tough, people sometimes tend to beat themselves up over it and neglect themselves. So add in some type of self care routine, or just some self care in general to help you through it. Find a new hobby or get back into old hobbies that you stopped. Do things that make you happy.
Paternity test. $10 says she didn't just give him head. And I wouldn't be surprised if it's not the only time she's cheated on you. If the kid isn't yours, bounce. If it is, assert your parental rights through the courts and be prepared to coparent. Do NOT stay in a relationship with her just for the kid. That is a fantastic way to end up miserable.
If this event is common knowledge in the wedding group chat, the secret is already out, David's wife just doesn't know yet. There's very little chance everyone in your wedding group chat who now knows about this will keep this secret forever. I'm sure there's a lot of people expiriencing the same dilemma you guys are, even if it wasn't their own wedding.
So I think sending a text, making a call or having a conversation is inevitable at this point.
But there's omething else to consider: When you say you don't want to get caught up in the fallout of other people's wedding drama, which is reasonable enough, make sure to prepare for all the potential consequences after you send that text. Might your friends be forced to testify to what happened that night in an ugly divorce? Would you be fine with telling the wife the details and then saying “no” when she asks for help moving out, starting life on her own and having this baby? What unforseen consequences could come up?
I get that this was your wedding and you want to do the right thing, but does it have to be you especially who takes care of this?
an emotional affair
Are you merely qualifying the affair, or is it something different entirely ?
Why? You aren’t in a relationship.
It sounds more insane to constantly have sex with a guy but not have a relationship.
Sounds like you meet his needs enough for sex.
She isn't. Learn to read
why should she apologize – it seems OP is misinterpreting platonic love for erotic or romantic love and projecting her own insecurities onto him
This. Honestly if it was discussed and agreed it would be OK. In this situation she is taking advantage of op, of her secure relationship and just wants to screw around. If she loved op, she would try to compromise or just end it. Not decide on her own what she wants and everyone around her to just adapt.
OP, she stepped over a boundary that you had and that should tell you a lot. She isn't prepared to be there for you or take you into account. Please accept what she did as exactly what she did, CHEATING!
There is no going back. I know it is hard, because I was you. I was the fool that forgave and regrets it for life. Even if you forgive, you will never FORGET. That is a pain for monogamous people, because we can't forget what they did. I tried so very hot to move on, but there was always that nagging in the back of my head.
What if he does it again? Am I really that special to him? Why doesn't he put more effort towards me? Constantly asking yourself why you matter to someone makes you crazy… it just makes you question your whole life…
You don't want that. I was in those shoes and it sucked. Even when I knew, I felt like I didn't. You doubt every single aspect of your life. Of your life together.
OP no one deserves that torture… move on and find someone for you.
This… this is SO TOXIC
Because he is sweet and caring and i really know he loves me. He is my best friend. It's just his obsession with women that is the problem. Why should I give up on someone over one thing we can try to work on?
i know a person in the country I was staying at with my friend. my friend and I added them on instagram so that we could message them and ask them for places to go. not even 30 minutes later my boyfriend has noticed that I was following this person (i follow 1100 people so that’s crazy that he would even see that) and started saying “i hope it was worth it” and then called me and asked me if we had hung out with them (we didn’t). I said no and told him that I just wanted to be able to have a good time here and if you can’t trust me not to fuck every person I talk to then there’s nothing I can do about that. ?
Maybe, just maybe, he just wants to spend time with you? I know I would try any game just to have my grown son's attention for a few hours a week. Can you plan a different activity with him? A board game night or something instead of DND? Try that, and then slowly suggest that you do that as family and let the DnD go. Best of luck to you.
I’d tell him that you haven’t needed your “stuff” or “him” for over a year now so no thanks. I can’t see anything good coming out of this.
It her body, her partner can get over it?? He has absolutely no right to her body. Someone should be allowed their own meaningful self expression. It’s not for anyone to dictate what someone else does with their body. What? Is he afraid his tiny dick won’t get hard? He sounds like a controlling asshole who only cares about himself. A really partner would say, yeah they’re not my thing and I don’t like them, but I support whatever makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin.
Well, is it a deal-breaker or not?
You keep saying it is, yet here you are.
Don't say something is a deal-breaker unless it is. And if it is, follow through.
Regarding the situation, it's not just the vape. It's that he knows that for you it's (allegedly) a deal-breaker, and he does it anyway, meaning he either doesn't care if you break up with him for it, or he doesn't believe you will and that your supposed “deal-breakers” are hard air. It's a respect thing. He's willing to risk his relationship with you and upset you, all for a cloud of chemicals. That's what you really need to be taking from this.
Bottom line, he's done it twice when you've caught him, meaning he's done it a lot more times when you haven't, and he thinks your “deal-breakers” are bullshit. If you stay, it's going to confirm that, and he's just going to be more comfortable disregarding you.
Her trust issues are not an excuse to violate your privacy like that. Keeping photos of your past relationships is a completely normal thing to and you should not apologize for it or feel the need to get rid of them (the one exception here would be nudes, get rid of those). Personally this behavior would be a deal breaker for me but if you really like her and she’s apologetic then maybe give her a chance to work on her trust issues?