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Not necessarily.
You can get a bachelors from a credible on-line school for maybe $40k or even less
I fully expect that she will snap out of it and come back to me
Don't. Maybe this if an off the cuff move based on some whim she has…. but it also may be real.
When someone says “it's over” take them at their word. Even if it hurts, and in your case, as you've written it, it really fucking hurts.
Romance and physical aren't the same thing. For whatever reason, she feels she's lost the romance. That doesn't need to be a reflection on you by the way, you could be Captain Romantic but she's not feeling that. And that's a her thing.
If you're both still in contact and it's open and amicable then by all means ask the questions you feel you need the answers for. Just be aware that she made the move and the answers may not be the ones you'd want.
If it truly is the end, the goal is acceptance. And no, you can't fix what can't be fixed and that's NOT on you.
Is it going to hurt? Fuck yeah it's going to hurt. If it didn't, then the relationship meant nothing at all and that's clearly not the case. After 5 years, it's not unreasonable to want reasons, but if they're given, you'll need to accept them.
Thank you for your thoughts! What do you mean by set me up?
Thank you both for your answers. Just want to point out again, as I did in previous comments, that it is not content that I'm actively searching for. It doesn't make it better since I pressed “like” on it in the end, so that is no excuse, but there was no search for something wanted/desired that my GF couldn't give me. Still, the mistake was made, and I'm owning it. Reassurance towards her look is something I've actively been pursuing throughout this relationship, and I intend to keep doing just that. As for the “stalking” part, I am only half bothered by it. She has never given me a reason to believe she was snooping around, and while I don't know yet why she did go through this account, I don't think she had a clear search in mind. And the likes are indeed very public on Twitter. Lastly, I understood how important it can be for some people, people who seem to share this POV with with GF, so it became a big deal to me to hurt her in such a way. Do I feel like it is something worth ending a solid relationship for? Not really. Do I respect the fact that she has the right to do so if it's her opinion? Yes Does it hurt? Absolutely. If I have the opportunity to be better without becoming a doormat, I will.
Again, thank your for both your answers u/alixanjou u/Relon7
Good , you should. Your mother seems to revel in putting you in your place, whatever that means. I would definitely distance myself from such a mother. Not the rest of the family, cause uncle sounds cool if that’s any indication, just the mother. And if that really bothers her, so much the better. Good luck OP.
Get away from him. He likely goes after younger women because women closer in age to him would see through his bullshit. Men in their 30s love dating women in their 20s because they don’t have as much life experience and so it’s a lot easier to be controlling, they can get them to conform to their ideas, etc.
Leave now and don’t look back.
On one hand what you are reporting is classic networking behavior. However,
the addition of sexual identity and its importance to your connection sorta
pushes things. If you have only been together for a year there may be some
reluctance and distance in the background. However, if you both decided to
make the connection more, its worth your peace of mind to validate what
you have negotiated about these activities with your partner. FWIW.
Please, this is paranoid.
You say no and he respects that and figures out a way to relieve himself.
And if he doesn't, you look at the relationship and try to decide what to do next and if you're comfortable bending to his dick when he's not willing to respect the fact that you're hurt and not feeling it
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I would figure out what you want from this relationship before deciding your approach. What are your limits? Where are you setting your boundaries?
You can't control him, but you can let him know – he can choose to listen or not – but ultimately you are in control of yourself.
I would leave this alone if you've told him already. Maybe let him know how nude him not having a job has been on you and you are scared. You trust him, but you do not want to be supporting both of you financially longer than 3 months. If he loses this job, he needs to figure it out. Maybe his job really doesn't care and it sounds like a good deal. If not, you've set that boundary and gave him fair warning.
I mean do you cry during difficult conversations or when he approaches you about something you did that was bothering him?
This can't be fixed because she doesn't want to fix it. Give us one single reason to believe she cares about making you happy in this relationship. There are none, and she won't do it!
I honestly wouldn't be surprised at all if she is fucking someone else this everyone time.
Yeah they are usually well practiced.
Leave him in all seriousness.
If someone did this without my consent I would think they're a fucking freak. But tbh the fact you want to do something so outlands after dating this guy for only two months? Yeah, weirdo behavior imo.
I've met with some of his friends but not all of them. He doesn't meet up with his friends often – mostly because everyone is all around the world at the moment. I've met his whole family and his family friends and often joined them in social events
Posts like this are why it's so important we, as a society, teach people about healthy relationships at school, what an abusive relationship looks like, and how to escape from it.
Spoiler alert: this isn't a healthy relationship.
This is the 4th time you've posted about this guy doing things that most people would consider to be controlling behaviour, and yet, apparently, you're still questioning whether you're the one in the wrong here.
You aren't.
You are a victim of a controlling relationship, and the sooner you escape from it the better. You're 21; you've your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to be walking on eggshells, being told what you can and can't do, who you can and can't see, for the rest of your life with this guy?
Why u are u dating a Gotham villain lol what??
You don't have to on-line with it.
Don't say anything about it, good or bad. Just let it be whatever she wants naturally.
no it’s not fine, you are really uneducated in that topic, it is definitely not fine. Please educate yourself more. Do you know how damaging it is when you take hormones or do bottom surgerey? There's no going back, you'll never be the same again if you regret it.
2/3. yeah like i said, you always felt like a woman but how does a woman feel? Can you explain to me how a woman should feel? How is it being a woman? What even is a woman? „Everyone feels different“ how can you feel like a woman?
He might have different joking styles. I come From a family of teasing and ragging on each other. My wife doesn’t. She found it weird when I did it, so I try not too. Definitely helped, option communication is important
I'm so sorry Op. I don't understand why so many marriages are lost through infidelity. No loyalty, no nothing!
I would 100% reach out to this other woman. She sounds cool based on her messages. She's trying not to cause drama and your DH is fishing around for emotional reassurance from her and she's like k thx bye let's keep focus on the kids energy. Something happened. I would call her and get her on the phone so that it's not in writing. Say you know that she cares about your kid, and can she please have mercy on you as kid's mom and tell you what's going on? Promise not to reveal that you talked to her, this is just for your safety and understanding of your marital issues. It may be as simple as him making a crude comment about the way she looks or something sexual but I would 100% want to know and your husband is not being forthright esp with all those goofy messages
Absolutely not. You should not be the one setting boundaries here with her. That's his job. You talking to her just comes off as the jealous insecure girlfriend. Plus, why be with a man who won't prioritize you and set those boundaries?
That's asking your partner to bottle up their insecurities in fairness and you should be able to share the things you worry about for yourself with your partner
Sounds more like an autistic breakdown or something like that. In any case, she clearly needs help to deal with anger and anxiety issues. Every individual and every relationship goes through troubled times. If it were up to this sub, not a single relationship would survive. It seems to be full of people who have been in a bad relationship for too long. Which makes sense when you think about it, but it results in very biased responses.
Or, since his mom is presumably going to be at the lake house, is he gonna ask her to put together something for them? Or even just snag some leftovers from the fridge vs. actually doing the food himself?