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OP, u/ZookeepergameKey6459, do not apologize, for Christ's sake. You are admitting to doing something that you don't even know for sure you did.
One accusation will absolutely ruin your life and the women in this thread have no idea how serious the repercussions are.
At the very least setup one session with a lawyer to see what your options are.
Nothing in your post suggests you're a rapist. Don't listen to these comments telling you that you are. Fucking disgusting.
Yes I didn’t mean it to be wrong whatsoever ! If this is manipulative then I feel bad and won’t do it again ! And I do totally appreciate his honestly ! I guess I’m just scared this means he still likes her and has feelings for her !
Honestly? You are being an amazing person and supporting someone you care about, but at what cost? At what point are you going to prioritize YOUR mental health over hers? I understand transitioning can be a lot, but she needs to understand that its put a lot on you too. Its not fair for her to only think about what she is going through. In all honesty, thats the biggest red flag i see. Shes making sure her needs come before yours. And thats not okay. You deserve better
You’re 23 and 25. Is there a specific reason you’re getting married at what is still a relatively young age in this day and age?
Either wait and have the wedding she dreams of, or do it now on a smaller scale. Those are both reasonable compromises. Do not take out a personal loan for a party (and yes at the end of the day it is just a party, I say that as someone who also dreams of a big expensive wedding).
This has to be a troll lmfao
Try calling her at work, if you know where she works.
It is understandable that you feel stuck between a rock and naked place in this difficult situation. It sounds like you’ve experienced profound hurt from your parents, especially the experience of being sent away to Africa and not having the same life experiences as your siblings. You absolutely have every right to no longer seek their approval or be at odds with them if they refuse to apologize or try therapy/counseling in order to address any underlying issues.
Although it appears that reasonable conversations are off the table at this time, it may still be worth talking with them again when possible; respectful communication can potentially spur some understanding about what everyone is going through during this strained period for the family dynamic. Meanwhile, holding onto forgiveness does not mean condoning past wrongs from others; rather, you can acknowledge hurtful events but also move on from them by allowing assertiveness and kindness towards those who caused pain without necessarily expecting an apology from them as well. If any outside support would help assist in processing these heavy feelings related to all of this, consider seeking counseling services or starting a talk forum such as 12-step meetings for further guidance (both virtually).
Yes they are and on top of that I always let her pick what we want to do
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It’s really not their business though and 10/10 they will absolutely use it against you. I was naive and thought yeah I should share EVERYthing but nope some things, keep to yourself.
They don’t understand that you had trauma, you were young or you didn’t have guidance. It’s a patriarchal world unfortunately.
That was really really shitty of your wife to say.
You should for sure sit down with her and explain how you feel and why. There’s no reason to keep that info from her.
Also, people get all types of cosmetic surgery all the time. If it’s really effecting your quality of life and state of mind that much, then you should probably go ahead and get it done. Why haven’t you?
I can see she's on by my messenger app, which I use for business purposes.
Please takeza mome t to look inward first.
/r/boneappletea
I’m sorry this happened to you and now you probably feel more alone than you have in years.
You deserve better than your gf. Please leave her and find someone willing to Love all of you
He isn't asking about advice for his kid, op is asking advice for his partner who is lying to OP, and not only lying but also refusing to communicate why she is. A relationship is built on trust and communication. Her refusal to communicate over this small issue is worrying because if it's this then what else does she do it with? Not feeling like you can trust your partner to be honest with you doesn't feel good
This is more than just cheating. He has some issues that he should really be exploring with a therapist. Clearly he has some shame surrounding his sexuality… and then the part about having a sex addiction is concerning as well. It would be good for him to get some professional support.
If she's ten weeks pregnant she likely had sex to achieve that pregnancy about 8-9 weeks ago.
If she's just guessing at times and doesn't really understand how to date a pregnancy it might be possible, but any basic google search will tell you that pregnancy is calculated from the first day of your last period, ovulation (and the sex part) happens after that.
If you had sex last about 17 weeks ago she would really be about 18-19ish weeks pregnant which is very different.
The prenatal paternity tests are no longer the big scary amniocentesis, needle into the belly ones. It's a normal blood draw, like from her arm. Very easy, quick, and accurate.
If you are being honest about the timing of your breakup, and she is actually 10 weeks pregnant though… It's not your kid.
This is what happens when folks wanna be “equal” ?
Tell him to remember while he is planning and playing that you plan to still have your bachelorette party after the baby comes. Then decide how you are going to handle this when you see his reaction. That will tell you what you need to know, because he WILL assume you plan on doing similar things to what he plans on doing, whether he admits it or not.
If you are a friend to someone and they rebuff your advances in any way (she was clearly trying to spare his feelings with her original response AND the mention of not liking the gift giving), don’t you think the mature and polite thing to do is to respect their wishes and leave it alone?
If she had turned him down harshly, which is basically what this situation usually requires in my experience, who knows how he would’ve reacted. Especially given his clear overreaction to her attempts to let him down gently.
They haven't even been together for a whole year.
They are not. Conception is when sperm and egg meet. Implantation is when the fertilized egg implants in the uterus.
She sounds cool tbh
Thanks. Continually frustrated by the “guilt a current victim into 'saving' a hypothetical future victim” narrative that runs rampant on posts like this. I'm not saying discussing the potential benefits of reporting is wrong or shouldn't be done, but the framing used here, when the victim is explicitly told she would be placing hypothetical victims at risk, minimizes the responsibility of the perpetrator not to reoffend.
OP is the victim of sexual harassment. She's also now being pressured by her boyfriend, who should be supportive of her, into taking an action she's afraid of. And now some commenters are doing the same.
Sometimes I can't imagine being the victim of a recent assault or harassment experience and posting in this sub and reading some of the comments these posts receive. Thankfully there is so much genuine empathy in this sub too.
Who is berating him? Why is there an assumption of control?
Because if you’re not stupid click block and go about your day
Okay, but that’s exactly what your wife heard. There’s some things you take to the grave. This should have been one of them.
The grass was greener because it was fertilized with bullshit.
This and only this ⬆️
I’m a girls girl. If someone’s wife asked me about something/conversations between me and someone’s husband – I would 100% be honest. Hopefully she will too – my first thought was to ask her
Well, working on yourself and improving is part ot life. I was kinda dumb when i was 20 aswell. I feel less dumb now that im 30.. I think sometimes listening to your gf =/= giving her concrete advice/answer. You should just listen sometimes. Ask her questions about it so you understand what exactly does she expect of you.
Are you ignorant of the subjects she is talking about? Are you socially awkward and have naked time to put ideas into words? Grown up people should be capable of basic communication and shouldnt be feeling too dumb constantly while communicating.
I agree she will never be in touch with you again
Pack up and be gone if he follows thru with it. Because you're a secret, you need to assume they're anywhere from 'talking again' to being in a current sexual relationship.
Which makes him a sneaky liar. Don't put up with this for a second, leave with your dignity. It's like by tipping you off he'd be seeing her, it somehow absolves him of any errant behavior while there.
Can she get a contract in Alaska? I would suggest that instead of the break. She sounds like she has anxiety.
You’re not out of line… but this is how some people are. She doesn’t support herself. She isn’t leaving the nest and probably never will. Unless you want to be part of this family… and not in a “son in law we see once a month” kind of way but fully in multiple days a week… you should end it. She isn’t going to change and if by some chance she did she’d resent you.
Then you have to do it today or tomorrow OP. It will hurt anyway
Got it, sorry OP, that’s rough. Do you know about the dead bedroom sub Reddit?
I understand your trauma, and your feelings are valid.
But, in my mind, it is reasonable to ask your partner not to watch porn on shared devices, ask you to watch porn, talk about porn, etc. In other words, never expose you to it.
What he watches when you're not around is, respectfully, not your business.
You only found this by accident. The foul is that, if he gives you permission to look at his phone, he should do a better job of cleaning up. But his looking at porn, when you're not around, is not a foul. (Unless he had promised you never to watch porn again.)