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There is no such thing as closure. Something is always left out being said or you see something else that brings up some other issue for you or them. There is no such thing as closure. You have a good life let him go.
Wtf
I know it’s hard – but please tell him immediately. He deserves to know. Then he has a choice to sign away his parental rights, or pay you child support, and co parent.
As someone that genuinely stopped being gross during a relationship that i’m still in, in very similar ways
although i can’t say friends and exes were in that list, that crosses my moral lines, that’s just kinda weird imo and my advice isn’t going to account for that moral issue, that you need to work out and process on your own.
i did a few things to help my partner feel more secure, i’ve given her complete freedom to bust into the bathroom if she feels suspicious (she rarely does unless she needs something and i don’t really care). I leave my phone on the sink counter by the door 80% of the time, the other 20% i’m probably playing chess or a phone game with volume up (so she can hear it) because i’m severely lactose intolerant and dairy addicted and sometimes i just gotta distract myself from the pain. Or if i’m showering it’s just on the counter playing music. Also, started showering with her to avoid that potential fear altogether. We made a couple dirty videos, makes a difference. Also we started having more sex which staves it off. i’m way more vocal about everything i love about her both internally and externally too.
i came to realize my issue was anxiety based during our relationship. Klonopin helped my 6-7 panic attacks a day, but i don’t really have panic attacks at home, just lingering anxiety and that stuff helped the more mild anxiety i guess. Had the issue for years, never was proud of ecstatic about it, i hated it as a bad habit. Solution was channeling my anxiety through my gf instead. She has full access to my phone but hardly goes through it anymore and i like to view it as an indicator of built trust. Being faithful and committed reaps more pride than unhealthily coping with my anxiety.
On one hand, placing these rules on myself still makes me feel dirty. At times, I want to drop the rules because by principle they feel more like preventatives than proof i’m different now. Ideally i’d like to go back in time where i could scroll reddit while shitting and being committed. There’s always gonna be a tiny ‘ugh’ every time i put my phone on the counter, cause i would rather have it closer so i can choose what song i want next. On the other hand, i don’t want to push boundaries or make confusing sudden changes to my behavior. I’m alright with it all and don’t mind, but baby steps until i can show i’m fully reformed.
i feel so awful that my actions made her insecure, shit makes me cry sometimes. especially when i face my own love for her and see my own betrayals and misdeeds in it. i told her when we met that she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, i believed it, still do, but the fact that i did what i did just doesn’t sit right with me. Not enough apologies in a day to show her how bad about it i really feel. but i’m very glad she’s becoming more secure overtime
You could just do what your mom wants. But the first person who shouted in your story was you.
You could consider a female/internal condom.
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You can't make her do anything.
I’m confused at the people insisting it’s a team locker room. They have gendered men’s and women’s locker rooms, I’m missing how the men’s locker room is somehow the team locker room while there’s another locker room for women??
How many other women in her team get changed with the guys. If you’re telling me that the rest of the women on her team use the women’s locker room and she decides to follow the men into the men’s locker room, that’s weird as hell and she’s doing it for attention from her male teammates. There’s no reason to go get changed with all the men when all the other women are changing together in another locker room. Ask her if any of the other women get changed with the men.
You should have walked away in the beginning.
You say he never pressured you. But you did feel pressured to consider having a boob job because you don’t feel good enough.
This is his porn-type. He needs to grow up and stop mixing porn with real life.
You need to get some more self esteem and realise you are good enough exactly as you are and if he doesn’t appreciate you, there are plenty of mature men out there that will be happy with a normal woman not a plastic clone.
If you’re so invested in the ability for women to direct their own choices, why not respect this woman right here who has told you in no uncertain terms what she wants?
I don’t need your grandstanding. I am firm in my beliefs and don’t apologize for them. You are being hypocritical in your approach and it’s honestly sad.
Cool. I also think saying “I understand why it happened” when someone targets and murders sex workers is bad.
Even though they could opt out of being sex workers.
I do not understand one thing, how she climaxed without knowing it was coming. I know that there are spontaneous orgasms, but even with these the body still feels the build-up toward a climax. They happen for the person could not get out of the situation which caused it. I am bringing this up for how the orgasm was explained happening it can be a serious health issue and she should get a medical check-up.
I feel safe with him and well respected.
Those are good pre-requisites to have- good luck!
We don't have sex on her period, I think that's pretty common. I don't think i'd be comfortable with that either, as it probably hurts for her and could be unsanitary. What I mean is aside from the period there are 3 other weeks in the cycle, only 1 of which she'd be in the fertile window. So she'll only let me go down 1 week a month
It is controlling though because it’s being used to stalk you. I’m willing to bet that her showing up at the gym is her wanting to keep track of you and see if you’re cheating/flirting. My ex did the same thing and after a while it turned into fights about me just going to the gym/lunch to meet up with other guys and it became easier to stop doing those things even though they were things I enjoyed, just to avoid the fights. Of course you’re drained, relationships with people like this kill your mental health over time. Please don’t normalize any of this behavior.
To give some extra context I'm currently paying for all of the bills and supporting her mum, have got a good relationship with her son(he's told me he lives me on multiple occasions) and am the only person working. I have been thinking about getting some legal advice as I think this may be a deal breaker for me and may consider burning the bridge. At the same time I know this sounds silly but it is really important to me and I know its going to eat at me little by little evrey time I complete a form, they say their name etc. But apparently I just need to suck it up.
My cousin did this so that his stepson wouldn't feel left out.
There is men's day too. A bit less popular but still widely celebrated here.
You poor thing. He must be convinced you are his doormat.
Let their marriage collapse. Tell the wife you fucked her husband (she deserves to know) and that you no longer wish to online with them. Then dip. Whatever happens after that isn’t your responsibility. Wish them the best of luck. That dude is an asshole. Feel bad for the wife… it’s not your problem though.
YTA, SO MUCH, GROSS, DISGUSTING… I would get a restrsining order if I was your daughter and you try to come nesr my wedding, my house, my family.
youbmarried your daughters then 18yo friend,thaz's what groomers do. Why didn't you find a woman (not a girl!!) your age. Your daughter begged you not to stay in this almost predatory relationship, but instead you told her you resent her and wish she was never born???? Congratulatioms, you just won the most shtty dad award. If you don't plan to end your relationship, leave her alone, that's the only good thing you can do. You fcked around and found out what it cost you. Take this as an adult. (Can you? For once?) And stop whining around. YOU DID THIS, YOU ALONE.
Honestly, I also feel like I only have my side of the story, I am genuinely in the dark about what the hell happened, it just doesn't track for me 🙁
Just go halfsies, that works roughly. 220 pounds would be around 110 kg.
Is this some real life attempt at the D.E.N.N.I.S. System?
Has she ever been expected to help out? How about show her your family budget so she knows how stretched for money you are?
Your D is going to have trouble getting through college imo. It takes a lot of discipline and maturity which she seems to lack. I would lose my shit if my son this age acted like this.
I just think that this was one of those moments that's going to change how you see him going forward. I don't know if counseling can undo that sort of damage very easily.
He's messing with your mind. Dump this guy. No reason to be with someone who plays this kind of stupid game. He's basically just asserting power over you by forcing you to apologize for no reason at all. Does he like that Tate guy?
Learn about everything that you need to do to leave a narcissist. learn about what they do to children and how they can hurt you and them afterwards.
I know someone who was with an N and at about the age of 10 the child/s become less useful/usable and can become less interesting to the N, keep that in mind.
Record everything in writing, don't reply to anything immediately, wait 24 hours if you can. Use parenting apps if possible. Get a supporter to rant to and review answers etc, it helps.
I am sure you will find plenty of recovery from N relationships on line, children can also get help from books and online and with supportive people (who understand N's).
Keep your thoughts to yourself though, children can repeat all sorts of stuff until they are old enough to make up their own minds.
Don't do anything the lawyer doesn't approve first, you are paying them for their advice, if you shop around you may get one that has deal with this stuff, that is a useful person to keep.
Good Luck and Lots of therapy.
Good that you are taking responsibility. For the crying part, you two need to talk more and get more used to each other. The crying will subside.
Just peace out man. She doesn’t need to know why, even though she knows deep down.