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Birth Date: 1981-04-19
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
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Brutally honest: As long as you stick to stereotypes you are not ready to love.
Get open minded and feel the flow.
Ask her, talk about your preferences, see if she's open to it. Don't demand, don't shame, just ask her flat out. Dating is a lot easier if you can casually bring up or ask these things.
Now if she says no, thinks it's sexist, or simply doesn't want to do it, then tell her that's ok (if it is ok) and let it go. If she's offended, apologize calmly, just say it's just a preference, not a deal breaker.
Just keep it casual, non confrontational, and cool. If you read embarrassment, quickly state it's completely fine, just a preference. If met with hostility, apologize and say the last thing you meant was to offend her. If she's ok with it, cool, doesn't need to be addressed again. Keep it simple. If she's not and that's a problem to you – well maybe this isn't meant to be.
Well I believe we have done our fair share of kinks but nowadays it doesn't seem to work. I am not saying we have tried everything I am trying to explore that front more to see if anything works.
I haven’t been raped, but know women that have been. Guys who make rape “jokes” (because let’s be real there’s truth in their “jokes”) disgust me and make me feel like punching them. Also they’re squarely slotted in the “at best they won’t support me after an assault, it at worst they’ll be trying to convince me why it wasn’t SA and all the things I did wrong”.
I agree with airauqa. I would sit them both down together and let them know that you appreciate their concerns, but you're an adult. Let them know what your boundaries are and how you want them to handle their discussions about you and your relationship.
If you know your Mom has boundry issues take your SO aside and let him know what your comfortable with him discussing with her. Set these boundaries now and make sure they both keep to them. I'm sure he'll have things he won't want you to discuss with his family should they ask. This way you'll start off with good strong rules for dealing with each other's families.
Good luck
My ex did this one time and I fucked off. I've never been the same since. She's done it four times, I cant even fathom what you're going through
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Have you told your husband you can't deal with this stress anymore and need a break? He probably is trying the best he can in this fucked up situation
Please listen to everyone here. I know how you feel but please get out of your home and stay with your parents. This is not something that should be handled on Reddit. This person is clearly abusive and will not stop as long as he has control over you. Please listen to everyone. This is how murder stories start.
Ikr, she should try dating men her age.
That's helpful to know, thank you. I've been taking his reaction to the situation at face value but he might not be handling it as well as I thought.
Ok so creepy age gap aside considering the age of the 8 year old….your wife is being absolutely unreasonable. Maybe suggest counseling to help navigate this if she doesn’t understand what is wrong with her demand.
You didn’t do anything to deserve being cheated on. Cheaters cheat because something is lacking in them, not the partner. You should break up. It’ll suck, but it’ll create room so you can welcome in a girl who will appreciate what she didn’t. If the breakup hurts her, that is her own problem. She made this bed and now has to lay in it. If her acedemics or personal life suffer it’s not your fault, it’s hers. She is responsible for how she acted and she knew a break up is a possibility if she cheats. She’ll get over the break up. She’ll probably try to guilt you, don’t buy into it. She won’t change. Once a cheater always a cheater. Especially since this was an extended thing and not a one time mistake. She doesn’t respect you. You deserve someone who does.
Can you provide a TLDR? This is a book
You married a man that faked being a “nice guy” and has taken his mask down once he thought you were trapped. He’s not even trying to hide it anymore.
He’s deliberately letting you hear and see him watch these videos to teach you. A 25 year old doesn’t suddenly switch in a few weeks after listening to these types of videos.
You are there just to be his free slave and servant while he acts like a bachelor.
I’m sorry he betrayed you and tricked you into marrying him. Head straight to divorce.
if that’s the case and he knows it, then why should he answer any questions?
sounds like you want a commitment that he is unwilling to give
he is comfortable as things are
i don’t think he will change unless he stands to lose something, like you, or having sex
We are best friends first and a couple second.
I'm no relationship expert, but shouldn't it be the other way around?
Wow, my ex girlfriend was literally like this as well. She’s playing games, looking to get validation.
She sounds horrible. I’m sorry man.
He has said it and his actions show it – the way he acts with me is not how guys act with girls they just see as friends
I would recommend calling his doctor and telling them he's addicted and even resorting to stealing your Rx. Tell them he needs to be weaned off the drug ASAP. Tell them he's buying it off coworkers and everything. They might cut back his Rx enough to wean him… But he also might just go full on street mode to find it. If he does this, it's ultimatum time: “It's me of the Adderall.”
She needs serious psychiatric help. You should break up with her. Once you break up with you, I encourage you to seek therapy because the incident you describe sounds pretty traumatic and you might need help working through it.
Let’s back up and talk about the fight that led to this. What was it about? What did you say?
Reminds me of Meghan Markle and how she insists that her red haired children are black
You’re not special. She will do the same to you when she’s bored of your relationship.
Thank you. I have been blaming myself for this, trying to figure out what I did wrong. Maybe I’m not pretty enough, thin enough, nice enough, etc. But you are right .
Before this, I truly thought everything was going great. We got along, little disagreements now and then but nothing super difficult, fun times, playful times.
She sounds like she needs therapy. That’s…a lot. You shouldn’t be her emotional punching bag like this.
This part right here. Because if he can’t respect her space now if this becomes the rest of her life he will be trying to control her. She just needs to put up a boundary and stick to it. He just sounds way too needy.
When I run out of options or my wife says she won’t accept my daughter ever. She says if her behavior improves she would be okay, she just doesn’t realize it’s normal 8 year old behavior
You mean when he just sat quietly and let himself be bullied and never stood up for himself? You want your victim back?
This absolutely! He hasn’t done anything about it and it’s on him to set the boundary.
And I know that we were young but it all just came out of nowhere and changed my life in a really unhealthy, expensive, and damaging way. All so suddenly. If it were me I would have at least been more mature about it and honest instead of bittle it up until it became a breakup… and i really dont think its this complicated anyway. She left me to be with some hotter guy. All those years and she just left to be with some guy we barely knew for 5 months.
And I know that we were young but it all just came out of nowhere and changed my life in a really unhealthy, expensive, and damaging way. All so suddenly. If it were me I would have at least been more mature about it and honest instead of bittle it up until it became a breakup… and i really dont think its this complicated anyway. She left me to be with some hotter guy. All those years and she just left to be with some guy we barely knew for 5 months.
Tell him. And have the boundaries conversation
Gotta send the message out to women… DO NOT ACCEPT THESE MEN!! There are so many other, better people out there that are able, willing, and happy to care for themselves.