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You were lied to, used, and your sympathy and generosity taken advantage of entirely. What could there to be to salvage here?
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Sometimes people will use 'religion' as an excuse to be a horrible, horrible person. Because I myself believe in Jesus but I have never judged somebody because of their life choices. Instead I choose to love them because that's what the good book says and if your friend was any type of a Christian he would know what his Bible and his religion says about being kind and loving people.
Using the word child is insulting & him saying you need to use high level language, which is essentially saying he is like a prince & you are like a peasant, very unequal.
However how he approaches the situation & doesn't seem to aknowledge how it might be difficult for you, just that you need to magically fit his standard is both like how a parent demands a child meets their demands. That view & approach is also a very unhelathy adult relationship.
I work too
I agree with this. I completely understand how this could totally shake you but at this point OP needs to decide whether to stay or go and not “offer” divorce or for him to sleep with others which just feels like a test. If she can't see herself reengaging in this relationship (which I wouldn't blame her for) after a year then it's time to end things.
Great question and observation. Thanks. She is the driver 100%. I’m sort of indifferent to kitchen themes, but I do offer my opinion and am not offended when she doesn’t take it. I’ve done all the demo and manual labor that is within my purview (removal of old kitchen, removal of floor, baseboards, light fixture removal, etc) and she’s worked with the cabinet designer and planned everything. They are both a lot of work! We jokingly say I’m the brawn she’s the brains.
Yeah you need to go to the vet or surrender the dog. You’re a monster for treating it this way, I don’t give a crap about you and you girl after reading this.
This right here has
I find it very disrespectful to both her and your husband's family that you expect your SIL's long time best friend, who is clearly part of the family at this point, to disappear into exile because your husband slept with her once, an eternity ago and I'm guessing before he met you.
You're petty, jealous despite your claims (otherwise you would not care this intently after 12 years), and probably need therapy to get over your issues instead of attempting to permanently alienate your husband and children from their relatives because of whatever morass of ugliness is happening in your head.
Start gaslighting and manipulating her
There are other better guys out there who won't pull this double standard controlling shit.
You are still young. You deserve better. He is NOT the one.
You have told him explicitly that it's the smell from not showering? If so then what else can you do but leave.
He us losing the will to initiate because it keeps failing. If you haven't explicitly told him why then do it. If you have tell him one more time and then that's itm if he won't make the effort what can you do?
cut and run. trust me. get your self tested.
S is JELLY!
Like if she were anymore jealous, she would turn into the hulk and smash you in the face real quick.
She is acting very immature, but it comes with the territory when someone is that insecure.
All jealous boils down to is a need not being met.
S’s needs are not being met. Which means she needs to figure out how to stop hurting you and work on her needs.
Op, in the meantime don’t hang out with these two for awhile cause it’s slowly hurting your self esteem to the point you will be at S’s insecure level soon if you don’t take some space right now.
Not to mention, 36 and can’t afford to live alone (hence the roommate). Cut this one loose.
He's living there rent and utility free. That's well over 700 in savings a month (8k in savings annually). Instead of kindly declining with an “I'm really tired today hun, I can't go” or something along those lines (we've all had those days), he instead gas lights, berates, and name calls her. Not to mention puts her down for supposedly doing less than him, even though she's saving him thousands of dollars in living expenses. Boy, Bye.
Thank you for the sound advice
Had to do something similar for my sister. Amazing how they suddenly have the money!
But OP wants someone who cooks and cleans at home while she goes out and fcks other people that she more sexually attracted to. Why can't she have the best of both worlds? ?
I agree with your mom that it’s a red flag.
Is there something wrong with your place? Like do you have a roommate or live with family? Or maybe you on-line in the middle of nowhere and there’s nowhere to get dinner/drinks nearby?
Also, why did you default to going to his place every time? Why not invite him over?