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You are an amazing person, and I hope you the best in life! We will beat it!!! I hope OP does as well.
Is this 2016?
I think you need her to say the truth as you understand it. Have her tell your side as you believe it and what she thinks of it.
The selfhate will be a toxic pill to carry around and it must be tied to her seeing you as a monster and how can you have intimacy if that's between you?
The best advice anyone can give the two of you is counseling/therapy. You guys need to communicate about this one clearly. And it sounds like you're struggling with that right now. Get to therapy to work this one out.
You owe it to yourself, to your girlfriend and to your daughter to try to work it out the best way possible. And since this is a critical decision with a LOT of feelings attached and your struggling to communicate about it, I advise you get therapy now.
Am i the only one who read the title and though the OP’s girl thought she was stinky?
I might have read this different from most, I don't think it was the money aspect of the gifts but more to do with them being pretty generic. Necklaces and bracelets can be so personal to a person's taste and maybe he thinks you should have made the presents more personal?
I will say, the way he is going about it is rather childish, think you both need to sit and have a mature conversation about present giving and expectations.
If she doesn’t fit in with your family, you don’t have a future.
I wouldn't pick her up, I'd agree to meet her somewhere instead. I think it's important you can both leave separately if the conversation ends up getting more emotional or heated than you anticipated. It's awkward having a difficult conversation with someone, then having to sit in silence while you drop them back home. Meet somewhere, then you can have a clean break when it's time to leave.
She's manipulating you. I've been there. The goal is to make you feel guilty for asserting your boundaries. She knows you'll reassure her once she turns on the self deprecation. Don't. Just look at her. Don't say a word. Neutral expression, eye contact, silence. Let her put herself down and don't catch her. It's going to get uncomfortable. Wait for that lingering, expectant silence that you'd usually fill with apologies/reassurance and say “in the future, when [insert problem scenario], I'd like to see you respond by [insert desired response], rather than [insert problematic response].
When she creates discomfort, make her sit in it, don't pull her out. Don't reasure her. State your case calmly EVERY time the issue pops up again, and respond to the subsequent self deprecation with a blank stare and as little emotion as you're capable of. Then, without addressing the self deprecation, state your desired solution. Do not validate unreasonable behavior with an emotional response, even if it feels natural to do so. Let it be awkward. Let her be sad, and HOLD HER TO THE FIRES SHE STARTS. She can cry, but the only acceptable apology is changed behavior. Stonewall the outbursts, and let her drown in the flood of emotion ALONE. It's gonna be weird, but I promise you it works. She needs to learn that that behavior will no longer result in a dispersion of accountability
Big deal. They will get over it. Every girl deserves a good pounding on her birthday.
What happens when she still stinks after he brushes his teeth? Does the blame still fall on him?
YOU ARE NOT FINE. what you are doing is FUCKING CRAZY. I would be more inclined to tell her to get a restraining order than anything else.
How is it a service to him? This wasn't a planned pregnancy that he wanted
He's mainly cautious and concerned with how she would be with dogs and how dogs would be with her. He is a first time parent with no pet experience. And I am a pet parent with no children of my own.
You don't get to choose your graduation date but your brother does get to choose his wedding date.
Now, maybe his wedding venue etc was already booked before the date of your graduation in which case it's just unfortunate.
Of course you go to your graduation. Is there any way you can attend both? And your parents?
I mean, I'd be so bummed at missing either event if they involved my own kids, so I'd do my best to attend both especially if they're in the same city.
If I were your brother and really couldn't move the wedding I'd try to get the graduation ceremony so that everyone could see you go up and get your diploma and cheer for you, and have that recorded so you could see it.
I get that weddings are supposed to be for the couple only and that would be a heinous crime to take any attention away from the bridal couple. That's one of the big reasons for me never wanting to get married in fact.
I agree with that. I'm scared to break up. He wants to end himself I'm scared that he will actually do it.
I love when there’s physical contact always between me and my partner, but if he was fidgeting and fussing with the buttons in my clothing, it would get annoying fast. That action is definitely more like treating your partner as a fidget toy.
must be a teenager or a virgin still. friends will leave you like a sack of potatoes. Look around kid, how many friends are around after 40 years old? none. Friends and family and never will be.
You are the hall monitor which other kids probably hate. (its analogy)
Plus a remark like belongs on the street, makes me think you are a virgin. Stop thinking all woman are cheaters from shit you watch from youtube, think for your self.
Wow. He acts like you nothing but a body, which he owns,and you are trying to find a way to save his feelings. Just… Wow.
Yeah that's dumb on both of your parts. She was testing you to see how much you liked her, and hoped you'd “show her” how much you liked her. Instead, that backfired and you added way more time. Just text her and quit playing games. Both of you need to use your words and not hide behind games. Good luck
She is seeing someone else, does not want you to move closer and won't talk about your future together.
Looks like she has closed down the relationship but wants to leave a “book mark” just in case.
I think it's time to do what's best for you rather than both of you together.
They won't even notice
hello people it’s saying there’s comments but i don’t see any? is this a normal thing
My parents don’t care what I do, and the cockroaches are not fun at all. I know I’m trying to justify them but there’s only 1-2 a week that he sees
Does it help to phrase it like this: if he wanted that, he’d go right back to that ? Instead, he’s here, with you. Because this is who he wants and where he wants to be.
I have zero respect for him. He wants the drama, but he will be bitching about it from the get go.
He is s corn nut playing some game with you. Not the guy to restore your faith in men. Imo.