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…are you fr right now? You seriously sat there and wrote this entire thing and think your bf is crazy? I would ask for a DNA test too. And frankly you would be single by now
Yes, you can. Tell her it is over. Do not respond to messages asking to work on it. Continue on with your life. She will realize that you are gone sooner or later.
I dont think shes asking if its okay to go out
He said that's exactly what she did, though:
Last night she asked me if it was okay if she went to the club to dance with her friends.
Maybe he just worded it in a confusing manner. Sure, I think it's nice in a relationship to share information about plans with a partner, but personally I think that's different than asking them if it's okay to go out with friends. I'm sure OP can clarify for us 🙂
Advice you asked for: he's an idiot and trying to break you down. Break up with him and enjoy your new nips.
Advice you didn't ask for but need: don't trust your hairbrush. Shower doors are from the devil (mine ripped out because I leaned out for a towel and it caught on the door). Sleeping on your stomach could lead to blood blisters (happened to the one that didn't rip out). Keep them very clean, you don't want an infection in your nipple. Everything you don't think can catch on them, will catch on them
Seriously, this girl sounds like a lowlife.
Do not over give in the beginning of a relationship. It can make the other person feel uncomfortable. It makes it out like you are trying to buy love. There are actually studies on this. A therapist friend of mine post about this on his FB page. I wish I could find it…..A $250 bracelet is too much at this stage in a relationship.
Her feelings are valid, but her accusations are not.
Sounds like a mix of medication and dissociation. She doesn't remember, but she did it. That doesn't make it rape. If it were recorded for her to see, she would see that it was safe and she initiated where you participated without force or being told to stop.
She needs EMDR and some indepth trauma therapy. Things are coming up for her and unfortunately you are the one paying for the actions someone else committed against her.
Also, consider a change in medications and a neutral party (therapists have patient bias) that can assist in this hurdle for both of you. She may also need a psychological evaluation to see if she has some sort of Boarderline Personality Disorder or Dissassociative Identity Disorder. Unresolved trauma can spark some intense breaks within the mind and she needs help with it.
Because the guy is in his 30s and started dating an 18 year old, dating for 3 years and OP's posts are full of red flags.
I'll look into that. Thanks
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You don't own the gym. You where the one who suggested him and his friends joining ??♀️
In another comment OP says sister “clicked with someone online” at this point I’m wondering if the sister “cheated” or what actually happened. She threw a bomb and refuses to now deal with it.
Purity culture is still going strong ?
You're fucked
I really think we're only getting one side of the story here.
WOW.
OP, please don't just keep posting on reddit about how miserable you are. She is emotionally abusing you, and medicated or not, it needs to END NOW.
I'm all for couples therapy, but you need individual therapy to find out why you stay.
Interesting. I know very few people that would be okay with being secretly recorded.
And even if he was “okay” with it, there's no reason not to tell him if she's not checking up on him. This isn't your relationship. This one has the context of him already being pissed about being checked up on.
She’s not evil or wrong for suggesting that. It’s crazy that you would be mad about that. She’s telling you how she really feels. If that doesn’t align with how you feel then your not a good couple. Not anybody’s fault
it will still be a shared first experience between the two of you whether she’s had sex before or not…
Controlling behavior and overdramatic reactions are your future judging from the current experience.
Goodbye Felecia would be your healthy response.
Yes, I sometimes would get into a game a for couple of weeks and play it daily, but eventually i would always get bored. I would say casual hobbyist is pretty spot on.
You don’t have to believe it for it to be true. Do some have sex, yes. No all do though.
There's a big difference between 'mentoring' and 'grooming.'
“I have suspicions that he was trying to take advantage of my state”
He is a predator and is most definitely trying to take advantage of you. Be direct and tell him not to contact you again, and then block him.
You’re not being an AH, a lot of people don’t want to attend their exes wedding and that’s fine.
You tried to come up with solutions and he’s the one being difficult so if his day is ruined then it’s his fault
She is 27. She can leave and go to a therapist.
If the family physically stops her. Call the police for assault or kidnapping.
I’m on a two year waiting list for therapy. Nothing I can do but try to handle it myself. Thank u tho :,)
Yikes so that means you can't let go of this bestfriend of yours. You're too deeply involved already and this is an emotional affair.
She knew she was banging someone behind your back so she didn’t have a leg to stand on to complain about anything you wanted to do
I mean, if you think that'll give you closure then that's what you think. Personally, I think it'll cut you more than it'll cut him especially when it becomes clear he doesn't care. Of course the choice is yours.
Shakespeare said it best: “Many a true word is spoken in jest.” Even if it was a 'joke' (which I for one doubt), it was a cruel one, especially in front of other people. I presume you've done a bit of soul-searching here? Why would she , theoretically, want to divorce you? Does she bear too much of the weight of home chores and maintenance? Do you have a healthy sex life? Are you both still attracted to each other? Do you surprise her with a date night here and there? A weekend getaway? I would sit her down and bring this up again, but go in prepared to hear some real answers.
Info: Are there windows in your office that coworkers can see through?
You and a lot of people in this post are missing the point. It’s not that she slept with these guys. It’s that she didn’t respect OP enough to tell him that some of the people that he is going to be seeing have been intimate with her. It took away his agency to decide if that was a dealbreaker.
And whether people want to admit it or not it also brings up doubts. No matter how good their relationship has been up to now, he’s going to be thinking, well if she didn’t tell me this, what else hasn’t she told me? And if she’s hung out one-on-one with these guys since her and OP have been together he’s now going to wonder what went on between them.
Them living together is irrelevant; if she broke up with him, then he needs to leave her home. It's that simple. Unless his name is on the lease or something like that – it varies from place to place – then she can legally kick him out. Also, no INDOOR cats don't just “get out” if you're careful. I have an indoor cat; not ONCE has he gotten out; because I'm careful . I've also had MANY indoor cats throughout my life and not ONCE did any of them get out. Because I took steps to ensure that they couldn't go outside. If you can't keep your indoor cats from going outside that's a you problem. OP states her cat is NEVER outside and the only way it was outside was because the now ex boyfriend put it and left it out there. It seems to me like you want to excuse her bfs sh*t behavior because he comes from an obvious toxic family situation.
My mother is a narcissist and my bio-douche is a pedo. Both are EXTREMELY abusive – my bio-douche was/is physically abusive more than anything else but my mother is emotionally, mentally, and psychologically abusive af. That doesn't excuse me IF I were to behave the way OP has described her ex behaving. OPS ex does need therapy that's for sure; but OP isn't a therapist nor is she responsible for catering to his toxicity. My point is just because someone comes from toxicity; doesn't mean they have to be toxic.
ah – thanks
I feel like most commenters didn’t even notice this is about two men.
Is he out? Could family be there and they don’t know? That’s the only acceptable excuse, other wise he’s such a douche.
Crocheting, cleaning, school, taking medicine..
Except being in a relationship doesn't keep this guy off the streets.