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It's not enough. Love can get you through some rough shit, but not this.
We really need to stop telling ourselves if we love someone enough everything will be OK. That simply isn't true. That's a fairy tale that's sold to us; the reality is love without trust, communication, respect and reciprocation isn't enough for anything.
Why are you coming at him like he’s not trying to solve this lol
I'd leave or make her wear a ball gag
I work in abortion access and I work with several later care clinics. I'm not interested in drawing more attention to them by people who could harass them so you're welcome to think I'm shady. I literally just did a basic Google search and one of the clinics I work with popped up, so I'm doubtful you've “spent quite a while researching this.”
Face to face is the right thing I'd say. OP should wait and gather their thoughts and what they're expecting out of this fling, money or coparenting.
“This feels like a typical conversation where a guy does not see what is in front of him, but is upset when another guy does”
Wouldn't this be a case where you do value her. If you didn't you wouldn't be concerned about losing her or uncomfortable. You only brought this up because you care about her and your relationship together.
While I do understand that some people have boundaries and feel that looking through other people's property/their phone is a breach of trust, your partner should be willing or comfortable sharing that part of their life with you if you are in a healthy relationship.
I would recommend treating the looking through the phone and the conversations as two seperate topics when talking to her, as she may be deflecting to avoid discussing her conversation. Let her know you will discuss your behaviour at a later time but you want to talk about the conversation first and how concerned you are about the interaction.
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So you and your wife are a pair of karens, gotcha.
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Bro come on they weren't blackmailing her. She lied about RAPE you think she wouldn't lie about a little blackmail
Like they say, if he wanted to he would.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not against porn in general. But he's either addicted or flat out lazy. Regardless of the reason, he's repeatedly refused to listen to your feelings about it. It's a big red flag when your partner gets mad at you for bringing up something that is bothering you. Stop looking at this as a “you” problem, it's a “him” problem and only he can solve it, and only if he were to actually want to.
You are incapable of accepting the fact that she doesn't want to get rid of every figurine from a dating game just to please you
Leave. Be your kid's role model and show them what respecting yourself mean. If you don't leave, your relationship will keep being like this, full of toxicity… your kid will learn all that and see it as how a relationship should be.
Thank you for the advice!! I've made several of those things already, I told the truth to my family and to him and I eas already low contact with my friends since more than 2 year. They contacted me when they found out I'm still with him and apparently felt bad and want me to tell the truth.
He actually knew about the cheating, and even though it was hurt he knew my feelings for him were true. And that he's disappointed that I took so long to be honest and hurt about the mocking and the bet part.
But he insisted we shouldn't throw away the relationship and that he know I'm different now.
I don't think I deserve a single bit of him. He's really the best and deserves the absolute best. I think he'll be far better off without me. Even if I will always be honest and never be my old self again, what happened can never be changed. He deserves to start fresh with a great person who loves and respects him from the beginning, not someone who mocks him and sees other guys and lies at the beginning.
First of all, you're both still teenagers. I remember my days as a teenager clear as day. Love and relationships just don't come easy when we're so unexperienced and undefined with love.
We don't know how to act, how to maintain, how to feel, how to behave, or what to even say.
Thing is… love is something you need to experience at your own terms. Nobody can tell you how to love someone or how to have a healthy relationship. People can tell you what théy think is a healthy relationship. And what théy think is toxic.
We all have toxic traits in us. We make mistakes. It's human. Doesn't make you a bad person! Your inner thoughts, your inner feelings… She doesn't know them. You don't know hers.
You guys were great and it may have been meant to be. But that doesn't mean it was meant to stay. Perhaps now there are just a lot of signs telling you it's time to move on from this person.
One day, you'll experience something far greater than this ever was. But you'll remember it as a step in your journey.
Take time for yourself like you planned to do. Be with friends… go out and meet other people. She's doing the same.
You'll miss it, but that won't be forever.
Your mum ???
Right? Forget cheating. He’s completely unstable and abusive. And that’s how he treats OP while she is pregnant (with twins!) *that is not to suggest that anything about this would be OK if OP wasn’t pregnant…
It sounds like you aren't compatible now, especially if he is trying to force you into something you don't want.
So he says polyamorous, but it sounds like he doesn't want you to date others; he just wants to force a girlfriend on you.
throw her AWAY
Exactly. You can ALWAYS smell the cigarettes just under whatever you're hiding it with.
Man there's been some whoppers this weekend. This one is no different, it's very rare when every person in the story makes unrealistic decisions all at the same time.
So we have Tom who is a serial cheater, our story's antagonist, who can't even stop cheating on his wife long enough to recover from a severe car accident and extended hospital stay. He's fucking nurses in the hospital stairwell dragging a saline bag around behind him.
Then we have Sami, who is so fucking stupid blindly in love with Tom that even after paying off his hospital bills with sperm donations, decides that an open-marriage that she doesn't want is the solution. Riiiiiight.
Now we're on to Mark, who by some form of brain damage, thinks that Sami is the problem here. Sami clearly has some learning disability, so I dunno why Mark is blaming the mentally disabled person. That's pretty fuckin weird. I imagine we will come to find out in the next update that Mark is also sleeping with Tom, or Sami, or both and this was all a ploy to cover his tracks.
And last but not least, we have our OP, who sees all of this happening in real time and is like 'whoa, that's pretty weird, I bet reddit will love this,' instead of faking her own death and moving to Siberia like she should have done.
The only thing we're missing here is the number of kids that each couple has so we can definitively say that this is actually the script for Idiocracy 2.
If you’re gonna comment at least read better. Wasn’t OPs friends but a friend of the sister.
Dump this dude.
Dump her and upgrade.
Didn't he say clearly that he acted differently at the beginning because he wanted to give you what you wanted?
What makes more sense:
Early in the relationship when things were more exciting and he wanted to win you over, that's when he showed you who he really is, and then after several months he decided to pretend to be someone else who doesn't like doing what you want and making you happy, but if you “communicate better” he'll realize that he should drop the act and go back to his true personality?
Early in the relationship when things were more exciting and he wanted to win you over, he was willing to put more effort into pretending to be the type of person you wanted, but as time went on and you got to know him better he has revealed more of who he really is, which is someone who isn't able to meet your needs?
First off, cam we all just not with the porn shit these days!?? And second, the fact that he’s throwing a tantrum about breaking YOUR boundaries in such a vulnerable and intimate way is….a big fat fucking nope. If you’ve had this conversation and he did it knowingly, you should very seriously reconsider having sex with him again. This made me get unreasonably mad for a person I don’t even know….
They always feel horrible after they cheat, not before or while doing it, so convenient
Thank you. It seems be both came to the same conclusion….