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Big error – guys tend to be more romantic then girls.
Start working on being romantic not talking about it.
You need as well to work on your communication – seems you need to find out what she is interested in talking about.
He doesn't want it now. Though his response is extreme for someone willing to have a kid down the line. Kids do change everything
Not wanting to be alone for the first year or two after your spouse dies is one thing.
Being incapable of being independent 5 years later is another thing entirely.
True
Your wife definitely wears the trousers. You did actually stand up for yourself though by telling your parents you agree with your wife, but depending on your wife to look after you isn't particularly manly. It has to be said. You don't want her to be your mother.
I know. At least I hope… its hard. I just want someone to help. Someone to take my mind OFF it so that I CAN move on… the man is the love of my life & I've been stuck in my own head for months.
I want to try to fix it but every time i try she takes thing so personally there is no discussions. everything becomes an attack on her even though I take ownership and admit to the things i thought I could have handled or done better. I try use ownership as way to make her feel like I’m not attacking her but it fails every time.
She’s Become so pessimistic divorce constantly has crossed my mind. I told her how I felt to try to bring light to the severity of how bad things are in hopes she’d finally listen and she thought it was just me threatening her and cursed me out.
Now i find myself considering it more and more But part of me doesn’t want that at all. I don’t like running from problems I like to fix them. By nature I am a leader and a problem solver. There is nothing that drives me crazier than not being able to find a solution.
Who cares. Worry about yourself and the kids you already have.
Thank you a lot, I'll try and talk to her
It sounds like you had to take on too much responsibility at a very young age, have you talked to your mom about how you feel?
If it helps I think it's worth remembering that your mom's boyfriend might not be trying to “be your dad” or trying to control you necessarily, it's possible he also finds the situation awkward and is trying to treat you the same as he would his own child. Or maybe he just isn't very good at communicating and is talking too
I see what you mean.
I don't think it's the second one because I've said it to her before without this response
And other times she's advised me to wank when she's not in the mood.
You said to start slow before she pegs him, it seems pegging and the fake cum is a hard limit for him but he is okay with the other stuff and he most likely won’t change him mind.
Def alarms, to do lists, something!
Though a litter box needs to be changed at least once a day, sometimes more. I can't imagine neglecting a pet in such a vital area as needing to relieve themselves. OP, the bar should not be this low and yet he's not clearing it.
Leave him. Watch him enjoy his flith. Take the cat too.
I used to do this with my ex, repeatedly, and was indeed going to frequent individual and occasional couples sessions for therapy just to clarify the context.
It was a constant song and dance of me feeling like he wasn’t putting in an equal amount of effort to stay emotionally close, him not validating my feelings, me saying I want to break up, and then him begging for us not to, promising to change, then the cycle would repeat.
There was a myriad of issues and I’m by no means saying your situation is exactly the same, what I will say is I wish he did what your ex did and didn’t fight for us to stay together every time. If you’re shouting you want to break up, there’s something not being fulfilled. Also, as someone with mental health issues, being long distance with someone who isn’t incredibly sensitive and understanding with a ton of patience to be there for you, is a disaster waiting to happen.
Stand by your words, reflect on why you said them, work on yourself, and better things will come with time.
I would just say, “Thanks for the heads up”. Then decide if you want to be in baby’s life, if no don’t worry about it. If yes, then make sure you’re on the birth certificate or get paternity test and prove it in court. Then with your rights you can have whoever around the baby/kid you want. It’s not just her baby. I wouldn’t worry a bit about it.
She might be into you… or it might be a trap set up by GF to see if you'd cheat.
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I know it’s been asked but never answered but did you drive home? If yea then shame on you and the most important advice is don’t ever do that again. Maybe drinking needs to be put on pause till you’re ready to take a swing at it more responsibly cause what you describe will cause nothing but issues in your life.
Keeps ups mean keeping up the ball by kicking it. You can use your feet, knees or heads. He said girls mostly used their knees from observation. Most girls I know also use their knees as it’s easier to do then feet, probably because most girls are not taught to the technical standard as guys with football during school.
Not sexist and not dumb on OP, her body shami bf if awful and disgusting though
Imma be honest, OP, but it sounds like you spend too much time on social media or watching romcoms.
Real life is not anything like what people pretend it is on socials.
Those over-the-top proposals you see on Insta and Pinterest? They aren't real.
They're photoshoots set up by the influencers that they planned themselves and had their partner pose just right so the photogs could get the best angles and make sure the product placement isn't too obvious. They spend several hours doing the “proposal” over and over to make sure it looks good on social media so girls like you (and me, I'm not immune) will want what it looks like they have and spend money to get it.
Real life is messy and doesn't online up to your expectations a lot of the time.
So its really important that your partner is someone that will be there for you and support you and help you keep things in perspective. Even if they're the one that disappointed you.
Are they that person?
If so, then clearly communicate the big things that need to be said. The eating/sensory issue is a big thing because not addressing it could lead to issues down the road.
The location of the proposal? Not so big. In the end you were asked to marry the person you're in love with. That's the most important thing.
So, address it. Let it go so you don't fixate on something that, in the end, doesn't *really* matter. And get to planning your life with your partner.
Girl… I think you are being blinded by the getting the “I'm married” stamp and not really thinking about what that means after… Do your friends like him or do they think you are making a mistake staying with him?
Yes I looked at few before replying that’s why I said I just rather try to fix myself if that’s possible but thank you for sharing, it’s just has given me a place to start to be better I just didn’t know where to go and I’ve always seen ppl share on Reddit
think i’m gonna do the same thing to her but while she’s stuck here. never have even thought about it but now i want her to see how i feel
think i’m gonna do the same thing to her but while she’s stuck here. never have even thought about it but now i want her to see how i feel
Well it's clear that I can see she doesn't respect me.
Well it's clear that I can see she doesn't respect me.
Best of luck
Yeah, but that reasonable business man told me men are allowed to do it. What was his name again? The human trafficking guy.
Immediate block. Really? After 5 years. Some demons need to be talked out sadly
You're young, so I'm going to say this and I hope you carry this with you for the rest of your life. You cannot control another person's actions. If he wants to stay, he would. No amount of cooking and cleaning will make him stay if he doesn't want to. At this point you just look desperate and pathetic.
You sound enmeshed with your family, like you have a difficult time understanding where their problems end yours begin. You parents are whole ass adults, capable of making decisions for themselves. If they want to spend a lifetime enabling your antisocial brother, they are fully within their rights to do so.
It's not up to you to confront them or get involved at all. If they didn't ask for your opinion, don't give it, especially since you can't seem to stop yourself from going totally off the rails about it.
This sounds like you're making a huge dramatic ordeal out of a situation that's:
Not your business. Nothing different or unusual for your brother cause he does this crap off and on all the time. This is a nothingburger that you are CHOOSING to get unreasonably upset about. You haven't successfully dealt with your feelings about being bullied by your brother growing up and as a result you've villainized him as an adult. I'm not saying he's not the villain, just that he's not currently your villain in this particular scenario. He's clearly a horrible person. You don't don't need to hunt down reasons to dislike him or gleefully jump on everything he does to point out awful he is. You're no smarter than everyone else in your family, not do you have some amazing insight they lack about your brother. Trust me, they've watching him be deplorable his whole life. Why is HIS behavior and your parent's ENABELING worth imploding your relationship with your BF over? Boyfriend is 100% right that you can't be trusted not to blow things up. That's clearly why your family leaves you out of the loop. You can't even be counted on not to disclose your source, because getting emotional, stirring the pot and feeling some kind of way about other people's business is more important than your relationship with your BF. Protecting someone who confides in you is just basic human decency 101 so why are you feeling any kind of way about this. If he's smart, he will keep everything he doesn't want the world to know to himself. Who assigned you to be the sheriff who decides your dad isn't allowed to share a secret with your BF? Again, they're both whole ass adults who don't need you dictating what they can and can't do. You don't own them simply because they are father and BF. You'd be much less confused if you could pull your head out of all the drama you are creating about this. You're literally creating the shitfest you're complaining about.
“non black” “quarter black”
Thats despicable really. The false promises etc.
Your husband sounds like an immature nightmare. How is your communication? Do you know how he views his role as a father and how he sees his position in the family? Honestly though, he just doesn’t sound like a man you want to be with. How would things work out if you left? Could you get support from your mum?
don't believe him. others showed you who he really is, and they had to because he was purposefully hiding it from you. there's no friendship here.
She needs to ask him for some hair to remember their relationship.
You should have mentioned the kids from the beginning.
They planned the trip together from the beginning. What did he think would happen with the kids if it wasn't take them along? Why should she be the one to plan what to do with them?
So my family is the furthest from rich but I fully agree with your girlfriend about the college applications thing…
“If someone's making a lot of money someone else is getting fucked”
I mean, she's right? But this does raise some concerns since her family are the ones making a lot of money.
If you can convince me to give you money you don't have to pay me back
I know non-rich people who've said this lol. I feel like this just means that she wouldn't lend out money to anyone, which is an entirely fair mindset to have.
But that story with the auction is very concerning. You also kind of sound like you're already over her. I would sit down with her and have a deep conversation about your values and everything. Break up if what she says aligns with what you fear about her.
sounds like you’re both awful. You went through her messages, and she’s cheating…at least emotionally.
Lololololololol YES YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE, YOU’RE JUST IN DENIAL!! Grow up and dump this coke head liar!! No his allergies just suddenly and on after TWO DAYS AT THE CABIN.
Please have some self respect and stop letting him gaslight and disrespect you! He’s a liar and had NO PROBLEM EMBARRASSING YOU AND LYING TO YOU!
Make sure you use distilled water when/if you try it. Anything else and you’re risking other insidious germs getting too close to your brain
So long as you follow up showing her that with and I will not hesitate to go to the police or whatever else I need to do if you destroy my things. We can have a conversation and resolve this like adults. I will not tolerate being threatened.
You can't really take those statements as true when she's saying them while upset. I really think people should just say what they mean though. The way she acts is incredibly juvenile. I honestly forgot that she was 40.
The cheating thing.. emotional cheating is a thing. She did it. She was not sorry. That wasn't even an apology.
I get that you didn't buy her a gift, but the song was seriously sweet! The ice cream was nice too. She's lucky that she got either with the way she's been behaving.
I'm not sure why you didn't break up with her after the cheating, but I don't think you'll be happy with her long term. You're best off walking away when you're able to.
I’m just worried about a lot of things. We’re at college together, far from our hometown, and she’s pretty much all I have. My mental health isn’t great, and I’m worried about what I’d do without her
Not knowing you or your partner, it’s really hard to say. Maybe this is the kind of thing you could talk to a therapist about?
How many times has he been written up for throwing something at work? How many jobs has he lost for this? Surely he's had a bad day or two at the office, right? How does he react then?
If he has never been fired for throwing things at work, then he doesn't have a control problem. He just sees you as an acceptable target.
She is free to go ahead and experience others, now that she is single. Once this request is made, there is no going back, because if you don't agree, she will simply just so it behind your back instead, so, break up time is now
Makes you wonder what other big things he lied about isnt it.
Of course he meant to do it. Unless he's randomly shoving people's heads against walls, this is a controllable action.
If nothing else, he has anger issues. This was a game. His actions are totally out of proportion to what was going on. If his reaction isn't, “Something is wrong with me, I have to talk to a therapist,” and then he goes as soon as possible, he doesn't care about how he acts.
I can post screenshots if you like, love.
Yes, and you should file assault charges, OP.
Oh wauw i never knew this could indicate a heart problem. Thx for the knowledge!
You’re married to someone who been married four times , I guess this is one of the big red flags … not even marriage counseling will help … leave that man and focus on yourself more .
She's prolly fucked a few footballers already.
Slinging pussy and talking to men “for money, and I can stop whenever” but her boyfriend flirts with other women for free and brags about it. No wonder the mom wants to take the kid. It sounds like they also can't afford him so “I can stop whenever I want” isn't even true
She called it her hoe phase, so just quoting her for reference. And retroactive jealousy is incredibly common. People post about it on here all the time.
That's a lot of words to say “Hey reddit, I want ass pats for being a good husband”.
Firstly, the fact that you can recognize your shortfalls and express them in writing means you have hope. This is good.
Secondly, considering your background, it will be very difficult to do this on your own. Your views of healthy relationships are pretty damaged. You need perspective from outside of yourself, preferably from a professional. I'd recommend getting into therapy.
That’s a dick move lol he sucks
I wasn’t aware of that. Will be looking into it more since I don’t want to pass on misinformation.
He didnt cheat but that's not a habit or something you want your significant other to tell you that they are oing. So yeah you have a right to be upset and then to use you as the reason why isn't acceptable either. Does he have a diagnosed condition? I ask because he can take supplements or maybe take like Viagra or something else
You seem like a great person who’s trying to better your life. If he’s always down on you and not lifting you up maybe find someone who values you and is right for you?
You should swear to celibacy for the rest of your life and never sabotage anyone’s life ever again. I truly hope this is a fake story.