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I wanna say thank you for this comment. I’ve always felt gross about this kind of behavior and wondered if I’m just THAT insecure, or if I’m weird. This is a nice explanation.
I would also break up with someone over this kinda thing, especially if they brush it off.
Lmfao, so you rebelled by having sex in her car? Calm her suspicion by just having sex in her bed next,
Well, at least he's showering when he works out. And you just said he doesn't smell bad. So like, why is it so so upsetting to you? If it's really something you can't get over then it's probably time to evaluate if you really want to be in a relationship with him. Cause honestly, if he doesn't smell and he's at least healthy and loving, this shouldn't be as big of a deal as you're making it
She has a boyfriend so the honorable thing to do would be to leave her alone. Unless you want to be with someone willing to cheat.
Thank you! I haven’t spent much time with her family as we both reside on the other side of the country and our families stay relatively close to each other, thus I have only met them a couple of times. I’m going to chat to her soon and lay everything on the table about this situation to get the right answer 🙂
OP has stated that she is now a normal weight and he still wants to leave her because she might gain weight again. She is begging for a 6 month extension of their relationship in which she may not gain a single pound or he will leave her. Does this sound like a healthy and functional relationship in which OP's emotional needs are being met? Even though she is working through trauma, he has made her appearance of thinness his only priority. In fact, she says he is disappointed in her even though she lost the weight because she did not lose it fast enough.
Idk man, I am really standing on the outside looking in but I feel like if she agreed… maybe she wants you to be circumcised. Because otherwise couldn’t she jus
Stop the visa!! You are a backup plan and if she comes on a visa, you are responsible for her!! She wants to see other people, time to end it!!
Okay, understandable. I think the next step would be to go to couples counseling together.
Yeah I mean. You knew what you did was wrong, suffered the consequences of stringing someone along for emotional fulfilment only on your end, and now you don’t know what to do. The answer? Move on, and figure yourself out. This level of emotional immaturity is a bit much for 19, but you should use this a lesson in not being a sneaky link when you’re putting an extreme level of impressed trustfulness upon someone in a LDR.
Move on, handle your own guilt accordingly and never do that to another undeserving girl.
The issues are related. Of course a man who dates one of his female students is going to have backwards and harmful views about gender.
I know stage 5 clinger ?♀️I’m just going to delete him. Only reason I pursued it, was because how we was to me when I was younger.
Ask her what kind of beard turns her on.
I was all ready to say 'all relationships are different and you should discuss with him about what does and doesn't count as cheating' until I read what you actually did.
Yeah, essentially anyone's going to consider that as cheating, especially as you went beyond flirting and into sharing intimate photos.
If you want to pursue this friend, be single first. If you want to keep your boyfriend you have to tell him what you did and accept that he may likely break up with you over it. You have to tell him though.
Please, as a Catholic, don’t say that this type of comment bothered you “as a Catholic”. This has nothing to do with dogma. If you say that his sexual innuendos make you uncomfortable because is too soon in the relationship, that I can support. But this is not about the faith.
Please forgive yourself and let go and move on. You forgave your boyfriend for what he did earlier on then why can't you forgive yourself? Read this again and again and again until it registers…..
Good lord I hope she cuts you off and never looks back
Okay so if it's about being “old fashioned” it might interest her to know that back in the 1950's women did reciprocate after a few dates, even if it was just inviting the man over for dinner and they did spend time together beyond formal dates and after 2 years they were either ready to get engaged or move on. This indefinite formal dating idea of hers just doesn't make sense unless she is using you or seeing someone else.
Hyperhydrosis is a thing. Might be worth a trip to the doctor. They have prescription anti perspirant
No, he's an abuser.
>I was kicked out of her flat so she could “debrief” with her flatmates about how good our sex was which honestly rubbed me the wrong way.
That would rub me so so wrong. It would have been a violated boundary:
Intimate activities should be kept between the partners, NOT roommates. IF it's agreed upon to tell her roommates should know about how good you are at sex (?!), then she should do it at a time and place. She needs social grace, which she doesn't have.
>which I wouldn't say is particularly enjoyable for me because I do absolutely all the work and she just lies there)
Sex should be enjoyable for both people. You don't enjoy it.
You don't know her, she doesn't know you, she doesn't want to get to know you – cut your losses and run.
Thank you for responding
Sorry that wasn't clear. They agree I should be able to say “hey I really can't be that support for you right now, can we talk about something else/can I have space etc”.
I fully agree it's about communication, which is why I'm accepting responsibility for the instances where I said yes when I shouldn't have. I need to have the ability to say no when I need to and not feel guilty. On the other side she has to accept that and not make me feel guilty. Tonight she called me and basically just made it worse, I wanted to sleep because my job has been running me ragged and she said for a second but we talked till midnight here. I should have ended the convo but I got too upset to really respond well. I think she gets it now though. I was able to be gentle and more clear.
She kinda does. She has friends and a sister nearby but it seems like she wants me to be the main source of support. Which I can usually handle because my job is easier than school, but not now. I don't think either of us are that introverted but she's more codependent. She's used to a college bf who she saw all the time, while I had lots of situationships where you only see someone once a week.
The sexual incompatibility is she has a pee kink.
she's gonna get me for child support
Oh, she'll do that regardless.
But hey, you keep the home and the kids, she can pay you!
Also OP needs to realize weather he is single or not it doesn't matter you have to keep this strictly professional esp if you want to be taken seriously this could destroy her reputation.
I def feel her job set her up tho like someone said in the comments just started and already given the biggest client which happens to be a rich old man who finds her attractive
You’ve had 2 years and multiple chances to change and only now when he’s sick of your crap and leaves you, you decide to get help? How can he ever believe your going to stick to it and change?
Ok it's 100% full stop not ok that she hit you and cheated no matter how hurt her feelings were. Literally two wrongs don't make a right. I would also be upset if my boyfriend ditched me on the slope but her reaction is totally out of proportion.
Dude, she doesn't have to eat the condom.
Plus I’m an only child, so I’d like to pass my family name down to my children.
This is most likely the issue….if they both keep their last names….they will most likely fight about whose name the kids will get…
What you’re feeling is your intuition trying to protect you. He is definitely moving too fast, and if I were you I would just dip.
Well. You haven’t been dating for long. You DEFINITELY shouldn’t even think about introducing your son to a man that you haven’t known for at least a year. If you take that factor away, did this man do anything wrong? Have you guys talked about being exclusive? Unless he is in a committed relationship with someone else, he is technically not seriously dating you or anyone else, and therefore he might be seeing more than one person.
Don’t beat yourself up for “snooping.” Your boyfriend and his sister are racists, you clearly had a sense something was wrong and he wasn’t being honest with you, and you were right.