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“What you did isn’t okay but I forgive you”
The problem is she requires the remodel before she moves in and she knows he can't afford to do it to her standards without help. He may want to remodel it himself but he's not doing this for himself. He's doing it for her.
Aw man I sure hope it isn't the type of relationship where she's getting dragged along by a fuck boi in a relationship that he don't care about
Goodbye, that’s next level crazy
Oof. Then unfortunately, unless both of you have really changed as people recently, it’s probably not going to work differently this time.
Your bf needs to start shutting his mother down. If she tries to intrude he should be telling her that this is his time to spend with you and he will talk to her later.
You might want to check out justnomil they have good reading resources in the sidebar. Justnoso might help too.
His mother is a problem because he's letting her be a problem. If he can't learn to set boundaries with his mother this will be the rest of your relationship.
Yes! After we parted she moved back to her hometown, married some guy on parole, he went back to jail but she was pregnant. She divorced him but 3 years after a son was born he had a parole hearing. So she shot her 3 year old son and herself – leaving behind two teenage sons.
Something told me I had to get away.
How is that a helpful comment
this does sound crazy but I'm not you, and you have more information than I do. If it was fairly recent I would suggest a rape kit.
If it wasn't that recent, then idk what to tell you other than to just leave him since you don't trust him. I think you should also investigate internally why you jumped straight to thinking that something like this happened. Do you have anxiety? A history of sexual assault?
Nice writing. He’s your best friend. That’s the best man to date.
Why would you want to deal with that?
What the fuck dude??? Yeah keep saying its her fault ffs. Why the fuck you're gaslighting her like this, you should be ashamed of it, holy fuck.
To sum it up, they found me. I used to study in France and sort of worked around her families house. We dated for a very short time and broke up shortly before I returned here. She found out she was pregnant after and tried to reach ne, but wasnt able to. Everything’s more advanced now, so when she tried again, that’s how they found me & I found out about them.
His mom is fine, she lives in France. What do you mean by who is paying for him?
You asked in another comment if you should tell her to cut contact with this guy and approach it as “him or me.”
You probably need to go farther than that.
She needs to cut contact with him altogether.
She needs to stop drinking.
She needs to get into therapy if she’s not already.
Or you divorce her.
You should, in no way, stick around and attempt to be a support person while she works nude to burn down your marriage. She can be self-destructive all she wants, but there’s no reason you need to stick around and be collateral damage.
It doesn’t matter if she “is very unlikely” to ever meet up with him, and it doesn’t matter if she finally acknowledged that she said something cruel and hurtful.
You don’t need to spend the rest of your marriage with her getting regularly drunk, admitting some cheating fantasy or desire, then playing remorseful when she sobers up. All that does is hurt you, put you in the position of living life on the edge wondering if she’ll actually cheat on you, and traumatize you, while she just gets to act sorry for a few minutes/hours/whatever, and go on to do it again next weekend.
If she’s really sorry and wants to make up for her cruel and shitty behavior, she’ll take action to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Not deciding is also a decision. She already decided, by her inaction. So, assume that yes, she wants to be a SAHM and plan accordingly. Is it still possible for you to change career paths to earn more, in order to support you both and the number of children you want to have? Make your own plans considering your salary will be paying for everything. If she decides to keep a part time job, great! Extra money, but don't count on it. If she actually manages to gather what she needs for her education, great! But don't just wait for her to do that because you have already been waiting 4 years and nothing changed, so proceed with your life as if this is how things will be. Another option is couple's counseling, the counselor can help you both talk honestly to each other and articulate what each wants, but I don't know if you can afford this.
Unless he has some kind of issue with physical touch boundaries he should be able to control himself from touching you at times when you don't want to be touched
And it will probably hurt his feelings and he'll get passive aggressive but you do need to tell him and stop him every time when he does these things at the wrong time , or at a time when you don't want to be touched that way
You should be able to trust your partner that if you're standing close to him he's not going to be inappropriately reaching out and groping you or touching you. It may seem like just a thing that a boyfriend does but it's actually can be interpreted as assault as well. Is your boyfriend but that doesn't mean he gets access to your body whenever he wants and however he wants