Imagine being the woman he supposedly loves, waiting around on him all the time, waiting for him to get home from trips, hoping that the luster of puppy love will return to your marriage, only for him to be posting on Reddit about how much of a burden it is to plan things and spend time together. I’d rather be cheated on I think.
I wouldnt bother trying to contact him anymore because he's obviously not interested and all youre seeking is closure that you won't find. One thing I've learned is that sometimes you have to accept that you don't understand someone's reasons, and you don't have a right to their reasoning if they don't want to provide it. Have you ever been pushed and pushed to tell someone something? It's frustrating, right? So don't go down that path. Let it go.
You'll find someone who doesn't care about your dating history, promise. Accept that you arent going to get the closure you want from him. And give yourself the closure you need.
Cut your father off. Go no contact, he is actively putting you in danger because his ego is bruised. He is a danger to you, his daughter. Tell you mother, because I am seriously worried he's going to escalate his actions. I cannot tell you how the warning bells are going off in my head. Please take the necessary precautions to protect yourself from your father.
What dynamics? All you said was that she hasn't transitioned from finding comfort in video games to finding comfort in you, and how that makes you feel bad.
I honestly don’t think he does. And here’s the kicker: I think that my H is the one who got them into going to our church. They’ve played it that cool the whole time. I’m considering emailing the pastor copies of the search history. He knows we’ve been going through it, we’ve seen him multiple times, but my H is that good. Nobody can imagine him doing anything like that. My plan is to just to email it to him and say very little. He knows our issues well enough and enough detail about her (she plays her instruments at church) the significance won’t be lost on him. And for all the painful interactions I’ve had with him not quite believing me, I do in actuality believe he is a truly decent guy and a real Christian who wouldn’t look the other way on an issue that is so clearly opposed to the faith.
Nobody, not a single being alive has the right to 'test' you emotionally, and if someone is inclined to test others, that someone is severely fcked up. That is a complete disregard for another human emotions, it is like stepping over another's subjectivity. You are less than a subject to this other person. Run, I mean it.
Yeah he sounds like a problem. I don’t know what his deal is. Maybe he’s not finding someone as quick as he thought he would. Maybe he sincerely feels bad for how it ended. None of it is your concern though, and if you’re not in a position to forgive and forget, then you don’t need to put up with his BS.
I’d encourage you to unfollow him and block his number. I’d also leave the photo album. Right now he’s trying to feel better about something by starting a dialogue with you. I don’t know what he needs to feel better about. It’s not important. What is important is you being able to move on.
A lot. I never thought I used to as I am not naturally maternal, but I work as a high school teacher and recently have loved being a guiding figure in young peoples lives. If my own kids don’t work out, I may foster.
This is dumb. Men can have women friends. My best friend is a married woman with a kid. We text each other first thing in the morning and talk all day everyday. We never tried to kiss or hook up. We are just good friends. Yes not all guys are able to do this ( my friend is very attractive also, I acknowledge that but I'm not sexually attracted to her bc her friendship is way more important to me) but some guys are. I think it's weird you haven't met her often, I would have my gf hang out with my friend way more than that.
This is dumb. Men can have women friends. My best friend is a married woman with a kid. We text each other first thing in the morning and talk all day everyday. We never tried to kiss or hook up. We are just good friends. Yes not all guys are able to do this ( my friend is very attractive also, I acknowledge that but I'm not sexually attracted to her bc her friendship is way more important to me) but some guys are. I think it's weird you haven't met her often, I would have my gf hang out with my friend way more than that.
I can see a lot of things where you are just living together for the sake of it. So from that premise you can plan to do anything you want to really.
I can see why you want to wait until the studies are over and that is understandable but you can plan that from when that is over that you move on. Read the lease, see if one of you can leave, rent the room etc, or how much it would cost to leave. Plan to do something new with your life. Time in your 20's is shorter than you think and you have that chance to try anything and everything. Other people can look after pets for you for the meantime.
Imagine you had the chance to go abroad and work for 6 months, how would that work for you? anything is possible in your life at this point.
Chances are also that she has had enough and is waiting the end of semester to move on, so think about that as a possibility as well in your lives. She might be happier doing something new as well.
I travelled the world, along with many people in different ages, it is all possible if you want it enough, when you have less responsibilities is the best time and I don't mean pets as I know of many that others looked after for a while. Imagine you could do anything, what would you do?
She goes over to his place? Just the two of them alone? Have you communicated these boundaries to her?
Imagine being the woman he supposedly loves, waiting around on him all the time, waiting for him to get home from trips, hoping that the luster of puppy love will return to your marriage, only for him to be posting on Reddit about how much of a burden it is to plan things and spend time together. I’d rather be cheated on I think.
I wouldnt bother trying to contact him anymore because he's obviously not interested and all youre seeking is closure that you won't find. One thing I've learned is that sometimes you have to accept that you don't understand someone's reasons, and you don't have a right to their reasoning if they don't want to provide it. Have you ever been pushed and pushed to tell someone something? It's frustrating, right? So don't go down that path. Let it go.
You'll find someone who doesn't care about your dating history, promise. Accept that you arent going to get the closure you want from him. And give yourself the closure you need.
It you have to hide your relationship then I'd probably say yes- particularly if you do not want to online in hiding.
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Cut your father off. Go no contact, he is actively putting you in danger because his ego is bruised. He is a danger to you, his daughter. Tell you mother, because I am seriously worried he's going to escalate his actions. I cannot tell you how the warning bells are going off in my head. Please take the necessary precautions to protect yourself from your father.
What dynamics? All you said was that she hasn't transitioned from finding comfort in video games to finding comfort in you, and how that makes you feel bad.
Sure
Next time try and think about how relationship dynamics are different instead of jumping to “just break up”
It sounds like he started doing drugs or something with a new girl which would explain his manic behavior.
Bro ur 30 it's been twelve years since highschool
Your “partner” is moving to ATL to be with his “friend”
Wake up baby
?
I honestly don’t think he does. And here’s the kicker: I think that my H is the one who got them into going to our church. They’ve played it that cool the whole time. I’m considering emailing the pastor copies of the search history. He knows we’ve been going through it, we’ve seen him multiple times, but my H is that good. Nobody can imagine him doing anything like that. My plan is to just to email it to him and say very little. He knows our issues well enough and enough detail about her (she plays her instruments at church) the significance won’t be lost on him. And for all the painful interactions I’ve had with him not quite believing me, I do in actuality believe he is a truly decent guy and a real Christian who wouldn’t look the other way on an issue that is so clearly opposed to the faith.
You went out and spent physical time with both?
So what’s the point of dating the current one of you can’t spend constant time with her.
Maybe you need to move on to someone more local?
It’s not about age, it’s about self respect.
Nobody, not a single being alive has the right to 'test' you emotionally, and if someone is inclined to test others, that someone is severely fcked up. That is a complete disregard for another human emotions, it is like stepping over another's subjectivity. You are less than a subject to this other person. Run, I mean it.
Yeah he sounds like a problem. I don’t know what his deal is. Maybe he’s not finding someone as quick as he thought he would. Maybe he sincerely feels bad for how it ended. None of it is your concern though, and if you’re not in a position to forgive and forget, then you don’t need to put up with his BS.
I’d encourage you to unfollow him and block his number. I’d also leave the photo album. Right now he’s trying to feel better about something by starting a dialogue with you. I don’t know what he needs to feel better about. It’s not important. What is important is you being able to move on.
You are a 24 year old adult. Why don't you have a fully developed spine…??
Convenient way to be like I stepped out on you and I don't wanna talk about it right!?
OK, if you are that conflict avoidant, then just do nothing. What works for me, might not work for you.
A lot. I never thought I used to as I am not naturally maternal, but I work as a high school teacher and recently have loved being a guiding figure in young peoples lives. If my own kids don’t work out, I may foster.
Why don’t you make plans to go clubbing with your girlfriend?
Say “hey next Saturday do you want to go bar hopping with me?”
This is dumb. Men can have women friends. My best friend is a married woman with a kid. We text each other first thing in the morning and talk all day everyday. We never tried to kiss or hook up. We are just good friends. Yes not all guys are able to do this ( my friend is very attractive also, I acknowledge that but I'm not sexually attracted to her bc her friendship is way more important to me) but some guys are. I think it's weird you haven't met her often, I would have my gf hang out with my friend way more than that.
This is dumb. Men can have women friends. My best friend is a married woman with a kid. We text each other first thing in the morning and talk all day everyday. We never tried to kiss or hook up. We are just good friends. Yes not all guys are able to do this ( my friend is very attractive also, I acknowledge that but I'm not sexually attracted to her bc her friendship is way more important to me) but some guys are. I think it's weird you haven't met her often, I would have my gf hang out with my friend way more than that.
I can see a lot of things where you are just living together for the sake of it. So from that premise you can plan to do anything you want to really.
I can see why you want to wait until the studies are over and that is understandable but you can plan that from when that is over that you move on. Read the lease, see if one of you can leave, rent the room etc, or how much it would cost to leave. Plan to do something new with your life. Time in your 20's is shorter than you think and you have that chance to try anything and everything. Other people can look after pets for you for the meantime.
Imagine you had the chance to go abroad and work for 6 months, how would that work for you? anything is possible in your life at this point.
Chances are also that she has had enough and is waiting the end of semester to move on, so think about that as a possibility as well in your lives. She might be happier doing something new as well.
I travelled the world, along with many people in different ages, it is all possible if you want it enough, when you have less responsibilities is the best time and I don't mean pets as I know of many that others looked after for a while. Imagine you could do anything, what would you do?
Narcissist dates a former porn star, tries to control her entire life then acts surprised when she steps out
You sound unhinged