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I'm offended.
I would totally eat a 5kg lasagna and liters by myself in the period of a weekend. Don't pasta shame me OP.
That, or you know, he's bringing over his share of food stuff to a friendsgiving and you caught him -gasp- not making it from scratch! THE SHAME!
OR you know . . hanging out with . . family . . . . at a family event. . . with extended . . . . . . -whispers- . . .Family?!
You’re 21? You act like a kid with zero life experience. Asking questions like “Can frozen pizza be reheated” – ffs, you need to gain some basic life skills before you decide to date anyone, lest they do completely normal life things just to be met with suspicion over and over again.
Honestly she is just a user he will figure it out though hopefully it doesn’t mess him up
I would not pass this off to random people on the internet.
Take the time to sit with him in private. Be a little more forthcoming with things that have happened. He may be stuck not wanting to risk your friendship if he shares his real feeling as well. In a measured way, you can each share one thing at a time and see how it stands for the both of you.
You never know if you never try.
I wish you good luck no matter what you choose to do
getting dumped is never not going to be bad. any time you wait is just wasting her time.
Do I really need one ??
Of course she does. But laughs don't turn me on lol. I don't think I presented this well enough, and I think people are getting the wrong idea.
Yeah these are work friends who seem to socialize outside of work on occasion, not real friends. There are other workplaces and other work friend groups. He needs to find one
Nah just gave birth a few months ago
Does he constantly bring down your self esteem? Make you question yourself? Take away confidence in what you do and say? If yes, I would start the new year single.
Collect evidence, lawyer up, good luck with the divorce.
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I would be honest and let her go.
Everyone has preferences but you came onto here worried about if you’ll continue to lose more attraction towards your girlfriend due to weight gain.
You aren’t worried about her health, which could’ve been the cause of the weight gain, and I guess think you’re not susceptible to looking old in a few years as well.
It sucks already that she struggles with body image issues pushed into us since we learned to speak, now that she’ll have the thought in the back of her mind always that her husband is scared to lose interest I’m her all because she gained a little bit of weight. And don’t get me started about pregnancy.
And for all we know she was under the average weight class for her age/height and got to a normal and safe amount, but you’re used to Instagram influencer type.
And I’m sure if she were borderline obese, you would’ve been out of here already or mentioned it in the post.
So do her a favor coming from someone in her shoes, and let the girl go and not be hurt.
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I told my boyfriend that if we were going to play the pettiness game I could blow everyone out of the water, there really is no bound to the potential for my pettiness, but he is advising me against this.
I have been trying to keep it quiet but we do generally have sex at least twice a night and once in the morning M-F and sometimes on Sunday, maybe he's just jealous. (Sometimes on Saturday too, lol, but he has to go home sometime and I usually have my kids on Saturday)
He is toxic because he refused to delete the nudes citing “I earned them”, when he in fact, took pictures without asking her and she let him with the condition to not include her face at least, which he also denied.
INFO, how long did their fwb go on? There's def a difference between a drunken one nighter and a regular months long hook up. Also, was she out of touch with him for awhile and after he contacted her, that's when she asked if you minded them hanging out? It seemed like she was giving you an opportunity to say i don't want this guy around.
It does have something to do with him. Because if she was head over heels then she wouldn’t bother looking back.
Everyone in this situation would feel a bit bad, it’s how you act and deal with it that matters. She exposed herself, and now he’s dumping her. Which is the right thing to do.
Chances are if he wanted her back, she’d go.
I get that you only lied to avoid him having a meltdown. I’m just not sure he’s the right guy , as is. Insanely jealous spouses are not good.
Is this a new thing? If he's telling you this and he typically goes down on you, maybe you might have a ph imbalance or something
Not sure. It doesn't smell like BO. Maybe just college dorm smell. IDK.
He had a whole gf of 6 years than he was cheating on with OP. Mans is whack
First thing: get tested for STDs. You should not put yourself in danger to tell his wife. You don’t know exactly what he’s capable of. He was able to conceal a lot from you. If you’re going to remain in that town, no need to make an enemy of the police. In a different situation I would encourage you to tell but in this case, your safety is at risk.
Wait till you have been together for a year or longer.
That way you can judge if he is a keeper. If you tell him now and he dumps you he might tell everyone.
Right now your in the early stages of dating.
Looks like she isn't telling you something that she has witnessed your mom doing or saying that has broken her trust in some way or another? There could be numerous things going in behind the scenes that you don't know about especially for a sudden change in attitude towards your mom. Id want to sit down and have an honest conversation with her without you defending your mother automatically- because she may have some valid points and maybe you're just too closed off to realise.
I was about to post this!! Fuck that guy. DTMFA
How do people make posts on throw away accounts I’ve tried and I get booted is it cos of the karma or whatever. So annoying.
???
Why did you move in with him? Or why are you even dating him if you dislike him so much?
Everyone get annoyed and angry with there partner at times but they don't say they had 3 miserable years together. If your not happy leave, why try to fix a relationship you don't want to be in.
I want to. The thing is, we’ve had fights, said things we didn’t mean and forgave each other, but this was different. We weren’t fighting. She was just being honest. She’s my best friend and like a big sister, and I love her. And I know she feels the same. That’s why I’m so scared of hurting her, losing her forever.
I wonder why you make it a point to say that your wife works from home. Do you assume she works less nude because she works from home? Just wondering if there might be an ongoing rift due to this? As someone who works from home, I can tell you my job is agonizing much of the time. Not saying you’re disrespecting her; I just seriously want to know what you think her daily life is like compared to yours due to her work environment.
wow, you dadded like a boss
Sounds like you are reaching just to make your argument seem valid, but it isn't. Seems as though you just jump right to personal attacks whenever someone disagrees with you. You seem petty and immature.
We’re probably disagreeing over what “crisis” or mania means or how likely it is.
I agree that brand new behavior is more worth paying attention to, so I see your point there
That said, NIMH defines “mania” as a specific symptom of bipolar disorder. Less than ~5% of people have bipolar disorder and ~1% of people will be experiencing manic symptoms on any given day (according to my quick skim of NIMH data). Mania is a really serious symptom of a likely lifelong disorder, so I don’t take guesses about mania lightly. It seems an “extreme” thing to say because it’s so rare.
Similar for MH crises. About 5.6% of people in the US have severe mental illness.
And Anxiety is common, but ‘serious’ anxiety is also not super common: 3-22% of US adults have anxiety and “The majority of adults with anxiety have a mild impairment (43.5%), 33.7% have a moderate impairment, and 22.8% have a serious impairment. (NIMH, 2017)”.
Maybe the gf is in that smaller group of people with mania or severe anxiety or other mental illness. Probably she’s in the much larger group of people who are fine, but sometimes have difficult emotions. I think of having difficult emotions sometimes as part of being alive, not a MH crisis.
When people don’t handle their difficult emotions expertly, it’s often a result of inexperience with that emotion. (Even if it’s fairly mild anxiety, a non-anxious person might not know how to recognize it easily or handle it well on her own). And it’s “immature” of her (her skills are less developed) if she doesn’t know how to self-regulate. None of that is a big concern.
I think it’s important for OP to know that there are lots of explanations for this kind of behavior, and that a MH crisis is not likely.
In my view, being silly, chatty, or bratty one time while she can’t sleep is not a mental health crisis. Neither is getting anxious at night and asking unwise questions.
It’s really common for people, women especially, to have spikes of anxiety sometimes for a variety of reasons. They often subside just fine on their own. People just need to learn to manage them, and it’s not something to call a crisis intervention team about.
In my view, the partner will be better served by not freaking out about bipolar disorder or calling a crisis hotline, and instead just talking to his gf about ways to problem-solve and self regulate better if she’s wired when he’s tired.
This is the same site where people think showering 2x a week and not washing your feet is normal so I don’t expect people on here to get it. But in the real world most people have a problem with it. There’s lines you don’t cross but a lot of you are willfully obtuse. ??♀️??♀️??♀️ have a good one!
I think you should probably just break-up. Better to end it quick and move on then the slow death path this is currently on.
Has it ever occurred to you that he might just not have what it takes to do the work?
It's not all a matter of study skills and the right kind of parents. He may have a learning disorder (like dyslexia), a disorder of executive function or attention (like ADHD), or some other factor that makes excelling in this field a problem for him. Also, if he keeps failing classes, will he really be a success once he does get a degree? That kind of participation will not go unnoticed in the workplace.
Is he someone who likes working with his hands? This is a great time to go into a building trade or become skilled in a manufacturing discipline. On the other hand, if he's very people oriented, he might do well in a business area like sales or marketing.
As for your role, which is what your post is about, I think you really have to back off and recognize that this is not something you can do for him. You've given him a lot of suggestions, and he's not implementing them. He might need to talk to an academic counselor about his best options.
When you follow someone, you can't forget it because you see their posts all the time. If you give a like, there's really no point in the discussion. I don't know if you noticed, but the topic of the discussion deviates to what he does worse than her as an excuse that what she did is unimportant compared to what she did, and they are neither he nor she in the first incident. I don't consider him controlling because he decided and even broke the relationship with her because he doesn't accept this, and now she can follow whoever she wants without any problem. He didn't force her to stay in a relationship with him and do as he wants, which would have been a confirmation of what you said.
Talk to her about it man. While you're sober. See what she wants. Maybe she can help you practice and get your confidence up!
But not about your gf?
Sounds like the kids are the problem. Can you go back in time?
I am going to say something and it may be hurtful. Did you specifically ask if he saw these things with you. Or just in general, because those are 2 very different things.
The kid clearly has issues the father isn’t addressing. If your against kids maybe you got to be upfront with him that his kid is a nightmare behind his back and if he desires a actual relationship with a woman he needs to fix the behavior of the child, because it’s making you miserable and your at the point of breaking up