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I brought up counseling and he thinks it’d be a good idea and good place to start so we’re going to set up an appointment as soon as his schedule clears a little more
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Please don't marry him. You know he lies easily and well. He is a person who resorts to a lie rather than handle a difficult situation with honesty and honor. This is not a man to build a life with. I'm so sorry.
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You confessed and he said no . It’s ok. Now whether you should be friends or not will depend on you . If you are not able to set those emotions aside and continue seeing him as only a friend then maybe you should drop him. Cause you will only cause him and you pain in the long term . Also to the people saying the age difference and power dynamics … nothing in the world will be even. Is she young , yes but she is old enough to make the decision whether she want a relationship with an older man or not .
I’ve seen many post on Reddit alone encourage women being 30+ to pursue men who are 25 and younger. However , when it’s a man being 30+ being with a 25 or younger woman . It’s too much and shouldn’t ever happen . Anyways OP if you can be friends with him without you , being too emotionally invested you are fine . However personally myself , I wouldn’t be able to remain friends with a girl who I had feelings for . That’s just me though . Good luck with your future endeavors
But I'm sure you are not going to take her word right? I mean if she lied for 15 years, surely she didn't become trustworthy overnight?
This person seems the same as the other poster who was a female, who claims that her boyfriend won’t have sex with her anymore. She was making excuses in the comments while asking for advice. What do you expect us to say? why bother even asking this if you already know the answer to your question?
The dad and AP destroyed the kids family as well, plenty to be upset about for the kids.
Mom can set whatever boundary she needs to protect herself from harm and pain.
I agree with her. I think that alienating your children from one parent out of spite is more morally corrupt than cheating. I consider friends and family members that would just ditch me on a whimp as unreliable and not true friends/family.
True friends and family help each other through difficult times even if that friend or family member is to blame for it.
Not saying she will but I felt it needed to be said considering her situation.
You could go with the basic “that's personal and I would rather not say”, OR the more exciting “fuck off and mind your own damn business!”
There are obviously many versions that fall somewhere between the two, but this at least gives you some options
i would also join the r/herpes subreddit for advice and guidance but like others have said i would also check with a doctor to discuss options and ease your mind. i had a genital herpes scare and my doctor acted like it wasn’t a big deal because apparently a large amount of the population has it.
I'm sorry. I'm a bit blunt but I promise you that running and telling his family his business isn't going to change a thing. Some people don't want to be “saved” and there's nothing we can do about it. But yeah you should just be done with anything related to him. You still have some healing to do. Well wishes Hun.
Nah. I mean people can feel how they want, but shaming you for it like that would change what happened is out of line.
3 years ago or now, she still cheated on him. Doesn't matter what her current feelings are, he got cheated on and laughed at. Spiraling because the person you should be able to trust has betrayed you by having affairs and making fun of you. It is 100% rational to spiral becuase of this.
It will take time to heal from this and trust her. Here's the rub, humans can do this, we can love more than one person.
She is the same person you have known and loved
Whether or not you can forgive her will take time to know
Go to therapy
Also go to couple therapy
Let yourself be angry but do not make rash decisions
Okay replying to people asking me if I'd let him be friends w an ex. Honestly he has a lot of girls on snap and I never actually go through/ see his phone. So he very well could be friends w an ex and I'd have no idea. ??♀️
Or…it's a chihuahua.
This sounds like an ex of mine who ended up SA-ing me. RUN OP, don’t walk. Gtfo of there
After being broken up for one entire week you were ready to move on? I'm feeling all sorts of ways about this. Ex and best friend deserve each other. Dump them both. And maybe look into being single for a bit OP.
She’s cheating on you and attempting to gas light you by acting as if her feelings have changed because of something outside of her control; i.e. her new medication rather than the fact that she is being unfaithful and too scared to make the official jump.
Save yourself the embarrassment and wasted time and move forward.
In no way is her spending any amount of time to that length with someone of the opposite sex appropriate or normal.
Thank you.
It's that bad, huh? :// I have considered therapy but how do we manage that when we are in a long distance relationship?
I am glad it’s not just me that thinks that behavior is super weird.
Thank you! I just hate that I let my guard down with him cos I don't normally do that so I think I'm more frustrated at myself right now
Have you tried talking with him about these behaviors? The singing is whatever, but the farting and the random dick appearances are both rude, and you have grounds to ask him to try and change those behaviors. If you’ve tried and he’s refused, or said he would stop and did not, then you might have bigger problems than boorishness.
This. Think about things like: jobs (for both of you). Size of city or town. Proximity to family (both). Recreational opportunities. Physical / landscape. Climate. Commute. Cost. Housing options. School/ family if that’s important later. Career growth. Politics. Culture, social life, overlap community vibe. Safety. Walkability. Food. Access to airport? To ocean? Other things. Then look for places that fit most of each of your top desires. Can some desires be satisfied with regular weekend trips? There is no perfect place, remember! And it can take a while to get used to a new place. You can also try live tools to select locations or the “grass is greener” subreddit
So was he watching porn, or masturbating while watching porn?
Because they are different things.
If he’s masturbating and then saying he has a low sex drive – he needs help or you need to kick him.
If he was just watching it, then it might have nothing to do with his sex drive, but he just likes watching it.
So honestly this will get downvoted to oblivion but its the cold nude truth. You both sound toxic and non-compatible for each other. He sounds like he's trying to hurt you and he's being extremely manipulative (which isn't your fault like everyone is saying) and you sound ridiculous for getting mad that he hooked up with someone while you were broken up. You two broke up and you still expect him to be loyal? He needs to get professional help and once he's in the clear, you two need to go your separate ways. You'll both be better off without one another. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but everyone here is just tip toeing around the truth. I wish you the best of luck op and I seriously hope you don't think this was me just being an inconsiderate dick.
Honestly, I think it is because because she asked her younger brother to walk her down the aisle and not my husband, her older brother. My HB feels like he is an afterthought to his family until they need something from him, then he is their best friend, this is something that the two of them have talked about before. He doesn't know that their younger brother is walking her down the aisle yet, and I think she is thinking that having me in the wedding will make this up to him.
Also follow your inner intuition! At least, if your wrong, you won’t feel hurt or gutted but infact relieved, almost like a burden off your shoulder and live on without regret. Theres a reason why that gut feeling tells us things, trust me, its not about food!
I agree. I'm married and have some boundaries too but sheesh. As far as I'm concerned, if it is HIS body and HIS eyes, you can't just DECIDE what he can or can't watch.