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Model from: fr
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Birth Date: 1995-06-18
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If I lose him, I lose everything.
No, you lose a boyfriend. Not everything, just the boyfriend.
But if I lose school, I lose my dreams.
Indeed.
Choose wisely.
Medical school is very consuming in so many ways. I know that you love your man, but you’re 20 years old, and if you’ve got the chance to secure your future by getting into med school, then unfortunately, your babe will need to understand that you may not get to see and connect with each other often; It’s a MONUMENTALLY HUGE sacrifice, and I’m not saying to break up, but DO see if you guys can stick it out and come to some sort of compromise to make things work (until it can’t)—hopefully it never comes to that.
Good luck
This is unfortunate, but you turned out incompatible. Better know sooner than later. I hope you part by wishing each other well.
Or BPD
Why would you care? Are you and the bf freinds? You wrote that you told your FREIND from work. Why would his feelings be an issue? He’s a AH now they both know. You should be proud!
I hope you shot his ass.
This is ridiculous. If big boobs are so important to him, why wouldn’t he just date a woman with big boobs? Why try to force someone to have surgery?! What an asshole. I’m glad you’ve rid yourself of this douchebag AND downed his crooked dick.
I don’t see any comment where OP suggests that she reads the Bible or follows Christianity. She just said “religious reasons.”
Yeah, you are, lmao. In the nicest way possible, why would she leave someone she seems to have a life with and seems to be moving toward marriage with for someone who didn’t make her feel appreciated? If she felt the same way, she would have reached out by now. Take it as a sign.
Also, we always think our first serious relationship is our one true love and soulmate. That’s not true. From your post, it sounds like you’re going into dates with the mindset that no one can compare and so because of this, you’re bound to be more critical of potential matches. Maybe take some time away from dating to just refocus and clear your head. Also, stop checking up on your ex because it won’t help you to move on. She’s moved on and found someone great and you’ll do the same. Don’t worry, OP.
One of those reasons were that you knew it would make your girlfriend sad.
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As long as you're not asking her to wash her hair at night then I don't see the problem. I agree you aren't asking for much. It's your rule at your place so she should follow it.
Yes I hoped she would do that, it all seems very off. She doesn’t need to ask for permission, I’m not gonna stop her I would just like to know if she is meeting another guy you know
You call him a hateful person. That says it all. Break up.
“So for context my (64m) wife (29f) has a lot of mental health conditions – one of which will cause her to binge, this can be food, drink, work, tv etc. Currently she is in a middle of a drinking and eating binge which has been annoying me. I've been swigging some of the occasional drink and eating some of the food telling her than when she is like this all she does is mess up my house. Since covid she has started gaining weight and is now around 23st (over 300lbs) which she assures me she will deal with but me making unkind remarks does not help her frame of mind (i call her a pissy brat sometimes when she has had a bit too drink) and have told her in the past if she doesn't like the rules i impose to protect my space or how i am then she should leave. She usually says that this is a bit cowardly of me stating i want her gone but am not willing to be the one to make that choice. For info a food binge will usually be takeaway or chocolate and a booze binge will be a few ciders and maybe a bottle of wine – she mixes a lot. and the last few days she has been crashing out on the sofa because she doesn't want to disturb me in bed knowing i can get a bit annoyed if i don't sleep well. She doesn't really cause a mess but i can't stand the smell of her drink and she does drop or knock over the odd glass as she is a clumsy person anyway (i call her the queen of clutz) and is always breaking or knocking things over Earlier last month we were discussing getting a new sofa (the one i have was inherited about 15 years ago and it is a bit knackered which hasn't been helped by her size) she asked if we were still doing this, and expressed excitement in picking something out (she has never really picked her own furniture – all of my stuff was here when she moved in) I said to her that she would probably bust a new sofa as well and perhaps a sofa bed would be better as she has been spending so much time downstairs commenting that she is probably too fat to go upstairs now. She seemed hurt and said that all i do is say she is too fat for “XYZ” and how can she feel comfortable going out when i keep saying she is too fat to walk and too fat to get to the bus stop etc. she then went back to her corner on the sofa.
am i in the wrong”
This was the post
Pivot the narrative. Point out that it is actually you being forced into the position of mother here. He isn't the victim, he is the one that is not taking adequate steps to be functional and the one left carrying the dynamic is you.
Because even besides the unfair distribution of the workload there is a massive problem with how he communicates and the ways in which he regulates his emotions. ADHD likely informs some of it but then the question is what actual steps is he taking to deal with his ADHD. The answer, whether he is seeing a therapist and taking medication or not, is clearly 'not enough steps' given he still isn't picking up basic things. And I really doubt a therapist would ever humour the framing of this issue that he is using.
If he won't get real about this you have to get real about whether this is a dynamic that is healthy for you. Increasingly you may unwittingly be enabling him, something that if you humour this cooldown period or whatever will cement that he can say pretty much anything and get away with it.
Of course she says that because it’s 100% benefiting her at your expense. The least she could do is be understanding that you’re not wanting to on-line hand to mouth.
Her attitude on that alone is a reg flag to me.
She is just abusive. Just because she may have an hormone imbalance or adhd doesn't give them a pass to abuse others. I know plenty of people with different mental illnesses and they are not that way, unless they specifically dislike someone or resent them so they mistreat that person in particular. And even if her hormones were somehow making her be that way, that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it.
This is how abusive relationships start…
Are you guys dating? Is it exclusive? If so, and after she was open about their history, why don't you trust her word?
That said, she has feelings for him. Maybe it's best to talk with her about that. Those feelings need to go, and she needs to distance herself from him to do that. You cannot tell her to do that, I guess you could suggest some space from him, but it's her call.
Your call is to consider if this relationship is for you, whatever its nature.
??? Show me one post where I am “anti-women”. Also, being part of Men's Right subreddit is ≠ hating women. LMAO
My first husband had this problem, too. He gave me a pelvic infection.
I ALMOST DIED.
Make him take a fucking shower.
From personal experience, once you've seen someone blank out and get violent and you're the subject of that violence….it changes you. This is such a tough situation:( I'm trying to imagine what would help me, the only thing is probably both of you talking to a professional. She will need reassurance from an outside authority.
He literally said “March sounds good we’ll meet up” to your text asking him to meet up in March lol. Isn’t it clear he wants to meet?
Get him to admit it through a text or phone call (recording it depends on the state) and go straight to a lawyer.
Talking to him isn't the easiest thing honestly but yeah i am going to talk to him tomorrow Thank you
It amuses me this man was pissed off his incubator shut down service permanently while in the same breath the damn man can’t lift a finger to take care of the child he fathered.
You weren’t over the line in your comments, if he doesn’t like what you said it’s because his ego is bruised but that’s a him problem because he’s failing as a spouse and father and it’s been less than a damn month.
I’d continue to not hold back and be quite clear what you want/expect and tell him we can either do couples therapy now or you can watch as this marriage crashes and burns bud.
And this right here is why abusive men murder pregnant women.
So why didn’t you go?
You're having trouble finding someone better because you're giving too much of your time to people who have demonstrated that they don't deserve it. People seldom really change.
If you can't cope with life change your life.
She’s making the choice to continue working with her abuser. I do blame her for that. I don’t blame her for being a victim or getting harassed in the first place.
It’s ridiculous to say that “she was victimized, ergo she holds no responsibility for any of her decisions moving forward”.
Thank you, yeah I decided to not endure and to end things because it was becoming even more toxic than it has already gotten
Non native speakers learn words differently than native. If this is the way he learnt to pronounce certain words it'll be confusing when he hears it sounded out otherwise.
But surely he hears words like that pronounced differently on TV or whatever and doesn't make a song and dance about it each time?
Thank you for responding. I didn’t mean it in that way. He asked for the space and left so it’s granted. I feel as if I need this time apart because it’s been a lot for the both of us. We’ve done this on and off for a while, this time it’s a more serious situation. I need and will get help. So thank you.
Thank you for responding. I didn’t mean it in that way. He asked for the space and left so it’s granted. I feel as if I need this time apart because it’s been a lot for the both of us. We’ve done this on and off for a while, this time it’s a more serious situation. I need and will get help. So thank you.
Interesting take but this only applies if OP presented herself as 100% natural, which we don't know if she claimed to be. If she just didn't mention the implants until they had been dating a while that's totally normal. You don't have to reveal everything about yourself from the first date.
That's really messed up about the chili though.
Your GF is a bully, break up with her
Your girlfriend is a piece of shit. I'm sorry dude, but as someone who's been in an abusive relationship, it doesn't just go away. A year after my boyfriend hit me for the first time, he tried to throw me off a balcony. Once they get physical with you and you stay, then they know you'll put up with being attacked. So they keep doing it.
It won't end until something so severe happens that it shatters your whole life. Skip that part and get out now.
That edit just makes it worse…girl get that divorce lawyer ASAP.
Posting your text so I can actually read it.
Hopefully I can get some objective opinions. My GF is a lawyer and makes a great salary at $120000 but has a large debt amount of around $250000. And even though she is well organized and very career oriented which is obviously a plus, it seems like she doesn’t have a penchant for financial prowess. She had an old boyfriend create a debt plan for her years ago which helped her cut it down significantly but after they broke up, the debt ballooned back up. Also we stayed in my home for all of last year, while I paid the rent so she can pay down some of her debt which she only paid a small fraction of. While she helped out paying the groceries. We also had some ups and downs while living together there like arguments and deadlines for marriage. And she is now an authorized user on a credit card we have and looking to get married soon since I got a nice ring and proposed and rented a new home so we can have more space. And she wants an actual wedding while I proposed us getting eloped overseas and have a small ceremony so we can save and have a better home. Should I be worried about this? Also how do I get her to change her behaviors because I let her know that if she just laid low and lived below her means for 6 months to a year she would be in a better position and could get rid of a big chunk of debt. But it seems she gets more excited over vacations, external wedding stuff and restaurants then paying the debt off and making certain we are in a strong financial position. I care way more about the marriage than a wedding. I understand reflecting on that debt could be a lot from her perspective but I don’t want her current ways to affect our marriage and when we have a kid which she has made clear she wants in 2024. How could I navigate this and communicate this to her more effectively because I don’t want to keep this pattern lingering especially in a marriage.
Let here leave. You are barely a child anymore. There will be other girlfriends. Dont let yourself be pressures into something you are not ready for. Dont have this child. If you have a child. Everything will change. It wont safe your relationship. It will make things 100 times worse.
Interesting, I see venting and specificity as opposites. Like, whenever I see venting it's usually vague winging and just getting the feelings out rather than being necessarily right.
But this post is full of specific grievances, makes it believable to me. That, and knowing that a lot of men have similar problems. Specifically, spouses controlling their Hobby's/interests (like OPs writing interests) and cutting off the friend circle until you only have your controlling spouse to rely on. And that's typically when the man hits rock bottom in his life, because nobody is there to save him from an abusive relationship anymore.
put a down payment on a house together and adopting a cat together has got me feeling trapped
If you want to know why she's both cheating and suggesting getting married in Vegas, this is probably why. She feels trapped too. She's unhappy in the relationship, seeing what else is out there to satisfy her curiosity so she can either work up the courage to end it or settle for you because there really isn't anything else out there that would make her happier.
Ending this relationship will difficult, you both know this. After 4 years, friends and family are are all mixed together and this is going to be messy.
I'm not trying to defend her, this is obviously very selfish, cowardly, immature behavior.
But I don't agree with the advice of packing up and ghosting her. I don't think responding to immaturity with more immaturity is the answer.
Tell her you know about the Hinge account, you know she's been looking elsewhere, and this relationship is now over and she needs to move out. It will be difficult and painful and you'll be tempted to forgive and try and move past it but you shouldn't. She could have talked to you about her unhappiness and maybe you could have worked it out or ended things more amicably. Instead, she chose this route and she should suffer the consequences of that. She moves out, she forfeits the deposit, she forfeits the cat.
People who cheat are pushing a big “self destruct” button on their lives because they're unhappy and don't care who else gets caught in the blast. She's blown up her life so you shouldn't be the who gets destroyed.
Oh mine has
She is trying to make it look like she pays more to the judge in her divorce.
This is alarming. Wow
1000000000%
Yes, but they were supposed to stop the minute he did.
Add this to the list of reasons it's always a bad idea to buy real estate with a non marital partner. Even if you do the extra contracts to protect your investment, you've still got this unresolved issue with his mother. You obviously can't proceed with this purchase (or even this relationship) until he figures out what to do with Mom.
Thank you for confirming that you are an asshole.
Zero sexual component would make it even more inexplicable and troubling, if anything.
I'm failing to see what the big deal is. Everybody on facebook will look up an ex from time to time. It's called curiosity.
If he was messaging her or liking her posts then that's a different story but a look up means nothing.
Im glad Im not the only one that thinks this… Both parties are immature and both cant bother commuinicate how the other one feels. His ego was bruised with no help from his friends and hers is because someone else found his dating profile. SMH