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Model from: it
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Birth Date: 1991-06-13
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This is a good and kind response but it also kind of leaves her in the same place you were, which is that she doesn’t know what you want. If I were you I would also say (either now in an additional text or immediately when you talk again) that “If you are willing, though, I do want to try. I do want to be with you.”
One of you needs to take more of a decisive leap or this might just slowly end because you’re both waiting for the other person to make a decision. Be the one who decides.
Run. That's completely disrespectful. Kissing him does not in any way say hey, please shove your junk in my face. Then he tries to guilt and shame you. Ick.
He speaks the truth!
It's her step daughter. She's the stepmother to her step child. Wtf?
I come from a similar culture and my uncle had the same experience OP, it took some time but his parents did come around to him marrying who he did, and now they treat her like the daughter they never had. It'll be nude but there is hope!
She's sexually assaulting you and raping you. Explain that to her, don't sugar coat it. And if she continues or tries to downplay it, then you know where you stand. Some people need the actually words used to realise what they're doing. At the same time though, someone who's okay doing this in any context isn't someone I personally would want to be with. So rather than try to talk to her about it when you already have, I would just leave.
i left my job and all my friends to be with him across the country. i do agree i am a very immature 22. i made so many mistakes and don’t know how to own up to them and just be honest and up front because i’m so afraid of being abandoned. sometimes things i do don’t seem bad to me until i realize they are to him and i panic. everything was so different in the beginning until everything was ruined and then also me so confused on what i want and stressed about me wasting my life away. i just feel like my mental health declined so much in the last couple months to where i am a shell of a person and everything brings me pain and anxiety. and i don’t know how to communicate properly anymore
your husband is NOT a great person. If he WERE, he wouldn't want you to keep a baby that was beget by violence. The fact that he does, says a lot about him to everyone reading this.
He's not even a loving husband, from what I just read.
Are you even officially in relatipnship now?
If yes then ask if A wanted to be with her would she choose to stay with you.
If not then it doesn't matter wait until you have girlfriend, before you even condider yourself any “choice”
Don’t date people you work with
Yup. Just let it be. Focus on your new job.
Thanks, appreciate the insight
Culture matters. If he’s from a religious/conservative background where they were supposed to avert their gaze to anything sexual, and if his friends are from that same background, it’s somewhat typical to find pockets of those types everywhere. Being deprived of female contact only makes then take thing about sex to the extreme.
From my experience, there’s two modes to these societies, and the rare third. Prudes who don’t look at anything and balk at everything, people who go for the most hardcore stuff you’d see. The rare third is someone who can casually look, enjoy it, not feel a need to seek out more, and won’t feel a loss when stopping it altogether.
What do you think is the issue?
lol I like that “Jesus doesn't spy on people”.
Don‘t date a guy who openly admits he would be violent towards you. Not even as a ”joke“. That’s a pretty messed up thing to joke about.
We’ll done, you’ve really thought this through.
You have a good head on your shoulders & from what you’ve said, your boyfriend sounds supportive. You know what to do next, do it with confidence & preparation.
The most useful advice here
Oh no, it's the punching poster again
Look, as an ACTUAL autistic person who is very, very good in bed (or at least that's what my partners have been telling me for the last 30 years, unbidden): I don't care how he's couching it in bullshit like “other than this you're the love of my life”. First of all, given his behaviour and specific comments, I find it very unlikely that you're even bad in bed at all. I think one of the other commenters is right, that he's not looking for real sexual compatibilty; he's looking for some sort of idealised porn nonsense. And not only are you not required to give that to him, he's absolutely broken if he's calling YOU “bad at sex” because you're not arching your back like an acrobat and making ridiculous faces at him.
But more importantly, and I need you to really pay attention to this bit: even if you were struggling with sexual compatibility, or needed to work on your skills in the bedroom, nobody ever EVER EVER improves in the bedroom by being humiliated, put down, and called names (unless, obviously, that is their very specific and previously discussed consensual kink, which in this case it clearly is not).
Your boyfriend or whatever he is (he certainly isn't a significant ANYTHING) isn't trying to help you improve your sexual relationship. He doesn't care enough about you for that. He is a perpetual adolescent who everyone here except you understands has an unrealistic expectation (likely informed by an overzealous porn habit) about what “good sex” is supposed to look like, and it has NOTHING to do with actual adult mutual sexual compatibility . . . and he is so sadistic and cruel that he thinks he can shame and abuse you into getting there.
That is not how healthy relationships work. Please GTFO of there and away from him. You deserve so much better.
I never implied op was a bad partner. It seems most comments have decided that ops gf is cheating, but we don't have information on this ex, this relationship, or any of it to determine whether or not it's normal for them to be friends.
I'm saying, if a person feels that their partner should not have happiness without them being the direct cause, that is unhealthy.
If the concern is that your partner will cheat on someone they chose not to be with? I mean, I guess that is a concern, but it would be helpful to have a framework for why.
My parents wouldn't necessarily welcome an ex. Sounds like everyone involved seems happy this person is in their life. The only one who doesn't seems to be op. So, what, this ex is charming enough to turn your whole world against you, but not charming enough to be the husband?
I think you are right, and my comment was too reductive, but I don't think there is enough information in the post for any real advice.
Be weary of guys who insist on putting their name on you. I wonder what other traditions he’s going to insist on
My husband needs to learn to control what he says offends people. He needs to just not constantly act upon his beliefs.
So do you agree with his believes?