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Thank you. So I guess I won’t respond if he does reaches out or say I’m not going and move along
Because when you split you have a judge or mediator set out who gets what. Without that you have to hope the other person agrees.
That's the entire point. You have a legal framework for how to settle things.
You are two young to sacrifice your life for bf. If you two are meant to be he will wait for you. Finish your education in the best possible way. That way when the time comes you have the most choices available to you.
This is why you record and document everything with the cops. The local news would love to ask the police why they think this way.
This reeks of weaponized incompetence. If you don’t know what that means, it’s when someone pretends like they don’t know how to do something in order for their partner to stop asking them to do it.
Weaponized incompetence over cleaning habits is one of the most common themes on here and in real life. The only other alternative is that this guy really is the fucking clueless.
Basically you have a partner who is manipulating you or is such a fucking loser that he can’t even figure out the simplest things in life. My six year niblings are old enough to know better, so I’m not even gonna call him a child.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life putting up with this? He will not change, that much is blindingly clear.
From what you wrote including your comments, Ifeel like your mother and the rest of the family put a healthy boundary. You need to respect their feelings of not liking your boyfriend. It is very important to give a good impression and all the stories you tell about being 2 hours late to dinner invitation, being late to your niece’s baptism, humiliating you on dinner table makes me think that it is fair that they don’t like him. My suggestion would be this: Go to your boyfriend and tell him a softer version of all these things that led to your family not liking him and they don’t want to spend Christmas together. Give it some time. I doubt it, but if your boyfriend changed for good, restart the relationship with your family and your boyfriend.
Same advice i gave my daughter when her bf was gonna propose. Remember you can always back out of a engagement but you can never unsay no. A engagement can last a year or more. But you say no and its over.
You two shouldn't be dating each other, he sounds controlling and honestly doesn't even sound like he likes you as a person. You deserve better.
Thank you for this comment. This had given me a new explanation and perspective. I know my husband is not faking it, so this makes a lot of sense.
For the length of time you've been together – no. They are no different, except in your mind.
You sound scared to get married. It also sounds like you think not getting married gives you an easier out at any time. Doubt it.
You should definitely look into the legal situation though, as that can be really important. You never know what is going to happen to either of you at any time.
you suck hard core suckage from ya OP.
You and Sara suck and deserve each other. Sara ONLY wanted you when she thought there was competition.
So you lied. Who wants to be friends with a lier. A lier who lies for his own personal gain. You didnt even have the decency to tell your best friend about your lie. And it matters because you lied and you dont even have the guts to tell the truth.
He has a medical condition that is killing him and causing him to act erratically. As if you can judge. If you can't see that, perhaps you lack any sort of sense of compassion.
I would have walked. But her apologizing and saying she loves you shows that she knows she was wrong and is trying to make things right. I would now stick around and see how things go. She lost your trust. Let’s now see how well she can build it back up.
Do you usually accuse him of bringing women into the bedroom with the implication he’s cheating?
Wouldnt you say the same is true for the guy? This guy may have come out of his previous marriage raked across the coals and if so he would feel no security in marriage.
All great points. We both work remotely so we aren’t limited to visiting each other just on the weekends. We would take turns on who visits who. I can put up with a short visit to the city. I just rather not stay somewhere full time that has a lot of triggers for me. Long term I hope through therapy I can better cope and maybe move in with her, or maybe in 10 years she’s had her fill of the city and joins me out in the country. We’re both very understanding. I don’t want her to limit herself on what she wants to achieve and she doesn’t want me to be miserable. Only immediate hurdle will be kids in the near future.
I got the impression that you're not asking how to help make your wife comfortable.
I'm not sure why that was the case given that most of these comments are me either accepting advice on what to do about the smell or me confirming that I've already tried that. The first comment was pretty harmless, it was just me sharing an experience.
Anyways, the point of the post was to figure out what might still be lingering so I can clean that. It's not my car, it's not my house, Dk if it's my clothes, but could be my teeth.
Talk to her, tell her that this guy you used to work with said he sees her in his restaurant once a week and see what she says. You don't have to go in with accusations just ask
Thank you
Sounds like he wants you to become one of those over-30 women who nervously monitor every calorie and pound, who punish themselves for not being 20 any more, and who blame every health issue they have on themselves (as opposed to genetics, environment, etc). I've known several women who lived that life, and then miraculously became happier (and healthier) after they ditched the man/men who were encouraging their self-hatred.
Thanks for the advice
Idk why more people aren't mentioning the fact that you said you really needed him in the past and he wasn't there for you, but yet he's able to show this wildly inappropriate level of empathy for your friend? Girl, throw the whole man out. It's not worth your time trying to figure that out, and the fact that he's trying to turn how you feel back on you is a bad sign too.
Honestly I’d ask them not to invite you if your partner isn’t also invited. You shouldn’t have to turn them down or put your partner in an awkward position. Better to just set the boundary and let them know if they ever change their minds they can invite you both.
My immediate reaction to her update was that he probably saw her post and realized he messed up big time. I may have been on Reddit till long but still can't help feeling this way
This is not ok, simples.
He keeps pushing, you ditch him! Sounds like he loves his desires more than he loves you and your boundaries
Why you are you more worried about your husband and his buddy’s opinion? His actions are abusive.
In my experience it doesn’t get better. I’m a SAHM now so it doesn’t bother me but the first 4 years of our relationship while I worked a full time job this was our life even though he worked half the hours I did. Our solution was that he covered take out if that was his choice and he’d give me money if he wanted me to make him breakfast and lunch for work. He ended up spending way more on food than me but as long as it didn’t affect my savings I stayed sane.
Bye!
When is he supposed to move states?
Just for clarification, is this the same bf that you mention cheated on you in a previous post?
This was my thought. They also may have taken some time to get their stories straight.
Is he a never hard