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I care that my partner is creative and intelligent. There are so many ways to learn. College is just one.
Leave him
Woman here, I’ve never had an issue with my bf watching porn. As long as it didn’t take over his life and as long as he didn’t do it when I was around. We all have needs and sometimes we need release. If you’re view is so negative on it I do recommend seeing a therapist.
This is fucking disgusting and what happens when you don’t set any boundaries for your kids. Clearly no one was watching them.
Your daughter absolutely groomed him and took advantage of his need for love and affection after being rejected by his mom. If she was a little boy this would be rape and she’d be in prison.
This whole family (including anyone that thinks this is ok) needs therapy and if I was you, I’d want no part of this incestuous mess you’ve created. I’d run and go NC with everyone.
I would be devastated if my husband was in cahoots with someone else and was being mean spirited about me. I’m sorry ? HE is obviously weak – why doesn’t he have your back?
You are definitely not in the wrong
That's not even a question
The only question is how you'd like to approach this
If you'd like to go more gently, talk to your brother first, explain the situation and how you feel disrespected and unsafe around his fiancé as a result of her behavior.
Say that it's clear that no matter what you do, it seems she refuses to respect your boundaries which is why you're bringing this to him, and if you'd like add that you may go LC if this keeps up.
Try to remain as far away from the fiancé as possible.
Deliberately sit down as far as you can if you end up sitting on the same table. Physically move away from her if she ends up approaching. Leave if you feel uncomfortable.
Or you can openly call the fiancé out on her bs
Many routes you can go with this
Call her out on bullying in a public setting
Claim she's craving your attention far too much and you're concerned what this could mean about her and your brothers' relationship
etc
Just be aware that these, while possibly faster at achieving concrete results may damage the relationship between you and your brother depending on how things end up going, and the first thing I said might be safer.
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Try to take into consideration that this happened before he knew you and before you were together.
Yes, it's a lot. You have every right to be overwhelmed.
But it doesn't change that he is the man you fell in love with and want to father your children.
He didn't cheat on you. He never intended for this to happen.
Ideally you'll sort out your feelings and stay with him because he doesn't deserve for you to leave over something he didn't know and that happened before he knew you existed.
So when you say playing harmonica do you mean they were blowing on a toy harmonica?
I bought a bunch of loose silica to dry flowers with
No doubt! There were women in the last thread trying to insist it was just harmless checking; and yet how harmless is it really when actions in response to photos show there is a clear and present stigma for the faces that wind up there. OP was asked who he pissed off, he also received phone calls calling him a womanizer or laughing at him. His neighbor jumped him about it, as did his co worker. That does not seem so harmless to me.
nobody should have to change their name for anybody else
I agree! She shouldn't have to change her name, and the children should take her name since they aren't married.
This weird patriarchal rule that children must have the father's last name is pointless and petty.
He’s bring the audacity. Calling her the gold digger when that’s exactly what he is!
If you are going to intentionally misrepresent what I am saying, I'm going to tell you to eat shit
Your son is number one and your current partner needs to respect that or go. You and your ex getting along well is in his best interests. Him feeling he belongs in your home is going to include reminders of his mother.
Ultimately she’s being childish.
I would dump you so hard.
He may have found something he sees as damning, whether you did something or not. For example: sneeze during the day and get snot on your shirt? Throw it in the hamper for a couple days? Now when he does laundry, he sees what looks like a cum stain on your clothes that he didn't put there. You didn't do anything wrong, but he thinks you're cheating. Using this as an example because it happened to a close friend of mine. If you ARE or were cheating, cop to it. Thennyou guys can move on. If not, you need to do something to communicate with him. Notes or anything written may work to get back into verbal communication “range.”
She saw the match and chat on her coworker's tinder, if that was a concern, seems easy enough to get around.
Personally I'll assume OP isn't “the pot calling the kettle black” or whatever.
OP, you should tell your acquaintance/friend what you saw. Do you have her phone number? Get your coworker to take a screenshot of the match and their chat. If she's worried about privacy, block your coworkers face if needed. Just say… hey my friend was showing me her latest Tinder matches and I thought I recognized . She unmatched him after I told her but I thought you should know. And attach the pics.
He said he doesn’t want that, at least he says not yet. He would like to be earning his annual salary every month before I switch to stay at home. I get that his business is kind of newish (2 years now…5 of it with an S Corp) but we have gone past all hurdles at this point and he is finally seeing consistent income. He has always been tight with money but that should have stayed in the past before he began earning 500k a year. Also, I think he thinks stay at home spouses are lazy…