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Nothing in how she described her home sounds OCPD/OCD. It sounds like every day cleaning that grown adults who take pride in their home do, or at least help out with in order to enjoy a space which is clean.
How people keep their home/car/other space says a lot about the level of respect they either want to be treated with, or will extend to others.
Since she broke your trust and loyalty you don't owe any to her. Tell the other person if only to warn them their health might be at risk because their partner is playing footsie with their genitals.
I don't know him so I don't know if he's using you, because that'd imply is a conscious act which might not be. Love is one hell of a drug, and some people get addicted to is. Ok that sounded like a very cheesy life an edgy 16 yo would say ?but what I mean is that we all like to feel good, we all like when someone gives you that warm feeling when you spend time together and you feal at ease when you are around them, so why wouldn't you want to surround yourself with people who make you feel like that? Why would you want to suffer through the pain of losing someone when you could find someone new to make you feel good again?
It's a matter of emotional maturity imo, it takes time to accept that jumping from person to person is like breaking a bone (or in this case your heart) and instead of getting it fixed you get analgesics.
Regardless, it doesn't change the fact that this situation will likely hurt you if you stay. Because that hurt is still there, and he will (intentionally or not) lash out at you when things go wrong, or if he feels like things are going wrong.
Yeah, you aren't blameless here, especially based on this comment.
If someone called me a 9/10 it would make my year. Not seeing that as a compliment just sounds somewhat conceited tbh.
TL;DR, you see all the red flags. You know he hasn’t been trustworthy. He is making you feel uncomfortable (refer to the red flags below). Tell him that you feel like something is up & that he is acting different. Be warned, that he will probably try to spin it on you, and gaslight you by making you feel like you’re crazy for noticing the red flags.
Honestly, you should have broken up with him the second he decided to communicate and meet up with someone that likes him, behind your back.
1st red flag ? – He unlocked someone that he knows makes you feel comfortable AND has openly admitted to liking him, etc.
2nd red flag ? He not only talks to her but MEETS HER (in person).
3rd red flag ? When he does meet up with her, he doesn’t tell you, aka it’s behind your back.
4th red flag ? He feels like he needs to lock/shut down his phone and change the subject every time he’s on Snapchat and you’re close to him
Hey, OP’s making the step right now. He’s been quite literally raised by these people.
I know it’s hard when you’ve been together for a while but I highly suggest you break up and move on. He’s not taking your feelings into consideration and being with someone you can’t trust us a miserable way to live.
That's an abuse tactic. If he does that, call 911 or a suicide hotline and let the professionals evaluate him.
I personally believe you should trust your spouse 100%. That is enough to leave a marriage. If you don't believe you have to trust your partner 100% then you don't have to leave. This all depends on what you are comfortable with and how that affects your safety and happiness.
Lmao what a fucking idiot
Just because she called him “hubby” didnt make it any more serious than if she called him “baby” or “sweety”. Its just a pet name that stuck and they both like.
Find another pet name for each other. But dont force it. You both have to like it.
Dont ask her to call you “hubby” if she doesnt want to because it will remind her of her ex.
The ending of a relationship involves two people – no exception. The marriage was doomed. I am floored to see all the people saying you should pick one parent.. no. This does not involve you. If your mum decides to not have any contact with you – that is her decision and solely on her.
You have a right to a father – nobody stops being a parent just because you are a grown up.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Your mother is weaponizing you. I would not want to participate in her spiel. This is very toxic behavior.
I’m a woman and have written mine down on my computer somewhere. Same reason I keep any old nostalgic thing – I might forget. I just like to know who I’ve had sex with. Solely for personal data. It has nothing to do with my level of faithfulness.
It’s not about the social media thing that I’m very held up on, it’s the telling me what to wear
You can't fix this. And if you're having sex, you can bring a baby into this chaos.
Dating is about finding someone compatible to make a life-long commitment. Choose wisely.
I think she needed counseling and just pretends there's a perfect man out there for her with no flaws. I was “hot, and we had a great relationship, and we never argued” bit she didn't love me back
Why the hell are they just walking in uninvited?? Especially after you made it clear you were not welcoming them around, they just decide “fuck that” and come over anyway? Doesn't sound like there is much of a real relationship or respect from their side already. Good luck.
This story made me chuckle. From the way your parents found out about your sexual orientation to you not being able to eat your cake and your mum's subsequent message. Your mother seems to be sweet btw. She said everything that was needed to be said with that one word. Lol I don't think your family really needs time to process what happened. They just learned that calling before visiting might be the best way to go in the future.
I think it sucks that your relationship was essentially built on a lie/deceit. I can't tell you whether or not you should forgive her, but if there was an expectation of monogamy/exclusivity at that 3 week mark then her excuse of doing it because she had been “hurt previously” and also lying to you about it that she was going out with a friend instead pretty much says she knew exactly what she was doing and just didn't think she would get caught.
She might feel bad about it now but would she have ever told you if you didn't find out?
Honestly her response would make me end the relationship. Whoever is on the lease stays, the other one goes. I can't abide that kind of animal cruelty
You sound like a fear-mongering over excited issue seeker. Your keyword is potentially. Him and the woman are both just as guilty and they are being judged by me for the past 5 years nothing else. Please take your hype fear mongering and rape hype elsewhere
First of all your gf cheated, she is not worth keeping and every time you go but but but you reinforce my point. Your friend is up to you but leave what you're in because you should have some self respect. I'm pretty sure you don't love her anymore and you're just scared of not being with her and the change and pain that comes with breaking up.
Aahh, so he has no problem giving you his phone? It sounds like he asks for it randomly, you should do the same. Don’t ask for it when asks you, because he may wipe things in preparation to ask for yours. I say all this to point out that sometimes people project. I don’t want to put the wrong ideas in your head, it’s just a thought.
On the other hand, if you ask him for his phone randomly one day, and he DOESNT want to hand it over (even for something minor) then that would dismantle his “ope door” policy right then and there. That would at least solve that problem.
For the record, I side with you on this issue. Asking your partner for their phone isn’t normal/healthy behavior.
If you are going to have a life long partnership he doesnt just get to decide unilaterally on the timeline. He's not captian of your relationship. If he has an idea in mind he should share it so you are both on the same page!! Tell him it's important and if he can't share it with you l, you will need to think about how long you want to be in this relationship without this commitment. Don't buy a house with him until he can reassure you.
No, ignore these people, OP. They have the same disordered thinking as your girlfriend might (we don't actually know your girlfriend is uncomfortable – that may be you projecting – unless you left out the part where you took her statement that these are jokes at face value and told her to stop with the jokes because you don't like them), and controlling impulses to try to assuage their insecurities (which doesn't work, because they're never addressing the root insecurity).
I don't know why so many people are so insecure about their relationships – we seem to have a pandemic of attachment and B-cluster personality disorders, and lots of people also apparently ignore glaring red flags at the start of relationships and then are somehow surprised when the problem behaviors get worse instead of better (making them “traumatized” as a result of the totally predictable cheating or other mistreatment by past partners whom they did not believe the first time they showed who they were).
Do not buy into attempts by mentally ill people to normalize their psych disorders as cultural norms; that tendency, with respect to abusive parenting, may be why we're seeing all of these attachment and personality disorders in the first place.
Why on earth should we help you? I want her to kick you out, I desperately want every horrible thing that could happen to someone to happen to you so you wake up and realize that you can’t just abuse someone you claim you love and get away with it.
What have you done to deserve anything? You don’t deserve her, get away from her.
She doesn’t want him having children with anyone else, he wants to leave that option open, is my guess.
That is a huge invasion of privacy. Not to say anything out of tone but if a guy kept doing that he'd be parked as some sort of predator. If she keeps doing it, maybe a pause is needed before getting married, because it'll only get worse the less she listens to you about your preferences in general.
I’m sure she loves it because she gets to have her cake and eat it too.
She gets to have a kid and that aspect of a family life while not being tied down with a husband/Significant Other that she has to make decisions with or give attention to.
Likewise she gets the sex without the “baggage” of a relationship and what comes with having a relationship with someone (commitment, time, etc).
Honestly if I were OP I would have checked out a long time ago. But it feels like OP’s infatuation of unrequited love is driving all his decisions currently.
The fact that you were immediately defensive and dismissive of it immediately tells me that he needs one. If there is no need for it then what's the problem in negotiating it?
My guess is that he was probably on the cusp of a proposal. This was the last step before that and you blew it up remarkably well.
Thanks for remembering haha. No- but this one has slept with every single one of his friends but has not snagged him so not sure if that has anything to do with it. Truthfully she shouldn’t have been allowed at the wedding.
Omg you’re my hero!
LG?
Fair enough!! Thanks ☺️
Wait a minute, your bf is sober? As in he's made a commitment of his own volition (not at your encouragement) to never drink? Is that right?
Are these staffers allowed? Yes. Do they pass the numbers along? Potentially yes, but you have to also realize this happens probably a few times a week. If the guy likely to call? Statistically it’s a long shot.
Nothing you can do.
If this person is not contacting you, harassing you, or trying to interact with you… just viewing your tweets.
Maybe stop paying attention to your view count.
Literally anyone can be contributing to your views.
Give her one’
The second paragraph really sounds like a summary of Berserk from Griffith's perspective. Don't mind this, op.
Listen to your body.
I ended up sleeping with my girlfriend the first date and it’s been 9 months. I love the fuck out of her and plan on marrying her. There are loads of men who will look at women at purely pieces of ass, but the majority of us just wanna connect and be close to someone, grow and experience new things together while sharing a good amount of interests.
If I had to guess, your FWB has unresolved feelings for you and can feel you shifting your interest and desires.
Lol you two are past middle age and acting like stupid teenagers but, somehow you think you are going to successfully raise a tiny human? I weep for the children of dumbasses like you. Thanks to your parents and you two for the decline in human intelligence.
It's okay OP. There is time to freeze your eggs. There are devoted, loving people out there who also want the deep love, to have a family, to build a home. You don't have to settle for this bullshit.
If that’s the case, I won’t want to be friends with her. Something that we both have talked about is our value of honesty. And how important communication is in any relationship even between friends. If she broke that trust, even if it’s to let me down “easy”, I’m not ok with that.