That says a lot more about him than it does about you. Sounds like an absolute turd. Lots of times looking back on relationships it's easy to be like why did I ever put up with that, but it's not always so obvious when it's happening.
I can understand those worries, but unfortunately, you can't control what she does or doesn't do with the information you have confided in her about. The best thing you can do is try to control the narrative and maybe preemptively mitigate some of the damage you worry she is about to do.
This has to be a troll post. First of all, your boyfriend is a pedophile. His family is obviously fucked. And how is his brother sexually assaulting you, “something small” stop being so naive. Seriously, I’m only a year older than you and the fact you don’t see the gravity of the situation is mind boggling to me. Go home, your parents miss you
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You did the right thing and you’re a better person for it. I’d definitely raise an eyebrow at any friend who suggested you try to make your friend pay for any portion. Thank you for helping restore some faith in humanity ?
Go find the breaker and flip it back on. Then start looking for a new place to on-line. It’s time you managed your own life more effectively and stop being dependent on your parents.
And you stayed with someone who punches holes in walls?
You need therapy to address why you accept behavior like this from anyone.
Source: have ADHD, accepted bad behavior from others for years. Got therapy and got rid of toxic people like your partner with anger management issues.
Since we aren’t inside the heads of each of these men, it’s impossible to tell exactly where and when the shift happened. Were they being dishonest? Just had a regular change of heart? Feel ready for kids now that they are older? Only they can answer that.
Do not say you’re infertile. If you expect honesty from your partner then hold yourself to that standard. Continue to be honest and firm. If you decide to get your tubes tied then be upfront about that.
Also are there any men aout there that were a bath robe????
OP, do you usually use a robe? As in, did she ever see you use or mention that you might want to use a robe? If not, then it’s likely that she likely just picked up the first thing that she got her hands on, while coming over to your apartment.
My first thought was going to be your gf doesn't like your beard because the scruff irritates her skin when kissing or going down on her. But then you brought your mom into it….
This is so 1940s, it saddens me. And it feels manipulative – OP watch it. It’s 2023 and presumably she lives in an industrialized country (?). Instead of assuming the financial responsibility for her – how about helping her figure out how to become self supporting instead. Watch the child while she attends light school for example. She will eventually thank you for that.
I'm sorry that you had a terrible, unforgivable experience dating this guy. But I'm going to start with the answer your asking for. There's no flexibility and it really worries me you came to us looking for that.
It's like a Christian mom googling proof God exisists and printing “that one article”. The moral here being the obvious answer, and every answer you've got has been begging you to run. But your hoping that someone will have a magic bullet for you that doesn't end in a break up with your cereal cheater, serially deviat partner.
If you feel young enough that your not looking for something serious (since he's not), and you don't mind risking an std, and you don't want to be loved (Because I assume he demands monogamy from you while chasing other girls who don't respond to him?) Then here's your permission to stay in that awful relationship.
But if your ready to take a step toward respecting yourself, taking an objective look at where your at right now is a good start. Your looking for any reason to stay with this guy right now. Be honest with yourself, is the comfort and familiarity of this pain easier than whatever you fear from being single?
I have this happen recently too with myself. I think algorithms are extremely smart & effective and they know how to keep us glued to the screen. I wouldn't worry just yet. Maybe encourage some outdoor activities. When I go feed seagulls I get off my phone. Gotta distract the brain a bit. It's naked tho, I even use phone at work and in class. It's an addiction for sure.
Let me start by saying I’m sorry. Break ups suck, you’re grieving and I’m here as a random stranger presumably piling on like a dick. I’m sorry. Please know that’s not my intention.
When I said you were lying to us and yourself, I honestly assumed it wasn’t on purpose. I promise you that that’s a common sentiment. What I’m trying to tell you, is that when you take a step pack and put the entire situation into perspective, you logically know why it’s over. It’s happened before. Nothing’s changed, and the cycle repeats itself.
I get that you (as did I) think that getting back together will end the pain, or that being explicitly told (again) why she ended it will be all it takes for you to finally move on, but that logically won’t be the case because you’ll always try to poke holes in it and argue with her about it. It’s already happened.
You believe this time will be different. I truly want to believe you’re being genuine and that that will be the case at least from your side. But again, history has shown that to be bullshit. And one again, I’m not here telling you you don’t mean it. I believe you do. But have you said this before? Has she asked for this before? You know, you just realized things in therapy. Why didn’t you go earlier? That’s what she’s thinking about.
Finally, while you say you never asked about other issues, which is fair, you’re also suggesting that she never once brought up any issues to you. No one is going to believe that to be true.
[TODAY] only I came to know he is married. 2.I haven't confronted him about anything yet. So, I am not behaving childish. 3.I have kept my feelings with me only.
hundreds of millions of accounts here. Make a throwaway account (like the spammers do, every 5 min.) and then post your question. Your BF isnt going to know it is you
Who the fuck cares about her social group? She wants to tip toe around and act like she doesn’t have proof this guy is a nightmare. The unrequested dick pictures are enough to go to police. Why pretend to her friends like he’s a great guy? So he can do the same to them?
Would you rather block him and things be a little awkward when you’re attending the same events or continue to deal with this harassment? Blocking does work. What’s he going to do, ask you in public why you won’t send him nudes? Of course not. Respect yourself more than he respects you.
OP I am not going to assume like everyone ese that you haven't talked about it, expressed your frustration or throw out the !therapy fixes everything! and this is the first time you've said something so…
If you are at your breaking point and it is causing this much stress, you must make a decision. Period. You sit down, sit her down and you calmly tell her that this is nonsense , there is nothing can do about your insecurity about this and I am not going to deal with this childish nonsense any longer so make a decision, you either let it go now, or you let me go now. Pick one and if you pick me, I never want to hear about you not being my first again, because then you won't be my last.
Totally agree two women can have a family and that it's not fair to her if I knew I wanted a husband. That's where I'm stuck. I've spent my whole life thinking I wanted a man but suddenly I have this incredible relationship with a woman but the in the back of my mind i'm like “wait so the 20+ years of imagining life with a man weren't real?” which is off putting.
I genuinely would like to ask how you navigate dating a bi girl? does she ever express interest in men?
My post history is irrelevant to this post but its not fake haha truly just a confused gal trying to figure out her sexuality and not hurt others along the way!
To be honest, people have very different standards when it comes to deleting old content. Some people think you should automatically delete everything NSFW as soon as you're no longer with the other person in the photos/videos, others don't see the harm in keeping them as long as the ex didn't ask that they be deleted. (Obviously you should always delete anything with another person in it if they ask you to, that should go without saying.)
Personally, I don't delete things unless someone asks me to. I'm sure there are some old sexts or nudes in my cloud somewhere from previous girlfriends. I don't feel a need to get rid of them, but I also don't feel a need to go look them back up and reminisce since that feels slightly creepy and a little disrespectful to my wife.
So I guess the question in your case is, do you think he was watching those regularly? If so that may be an issue, but if not I'd recommend trying to think of it as just old history that didn't get deleted. Not everyone clears those things out.
Ha. Hahah. Hahaha?
I think he’s leading you on…..he doesn’t want to get married and is using the money as an excuse.
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That says a lot more about him than it does about you. Sounds like an absolute turd. Lots of times looking back on relationships it's easy to be like why did I ever put up with that, but it's not always so obvious when it's happening.
I can understand those worries, but unfortunately, you can't control what she does or doesn't do with the information you have confided in her about. The best thing you can do is try to control the narrative and maybe preemptively mitigate some of the damage you worry she is about to do.
Thank you so much ❤️
This has to be a troll post. First of all, your boyfriend is a pedophile. His family is obviously fucked. And how is his brother sexually assaulting you, “something small” stop being so naive. Seriously, I’m only a year older than you and the fact you don’t see the gravity of the situation is mind boggling to me. Go home, your parents miss you
Hello /u/justforthis1901,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
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[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
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Compromise, have him buy you a breast form like drag queens use and use it sometimes as a sex toy.
Break up break up break up!!!
Even if he wasn't so obvious about wanting to cheat on you, you should break up with him just for this! Life is too short to date misogynist jerkwads.
If you respect your boyfriend and your relationship you wouldn’t go you can schedule another holiday.
You did the right thing and you’re a better person for it. I’d definitely raise an eyebrow at any friend who suggested you try to make your friend pay for any portion. Thank you for helping restore some faith in humanity ?
Go find the breaker and flip it back on. Then start looking for a new place to on-line. It’s time you managed your own life more effectively and stop being dependent on your parents.
And you stayed with someone who punches holes in walls?
You need therapy to address why you accept behavior like this from anyone.
Source: have ADHD, accepted bad behavior from others for years. Got therapy and got rid of toxic people like your partner with anger management issues.
Since we aren’t inside the heads of each of these men, it’s impossible to tell exactly where and when the shift happened. Were they being dishonest? Just had a regular change of heart? Feel ready for kids now that they are older? Only they can answer that.
Do not say you’re infertile. If you expect honesty from your partner then hold yourself to that standard. Continue to be honest and firm. If you decide to get your tubes tied then be upfront about that.
Also are there any men aout there that were a bath robe????
OP, do you usually use a robe? As in, did she ever see you use or mention that you might want to use a robe? If not, then it’s likely that she likely just picked up the first thing that she got her hands on, while coming over to your apartment.
You pretty have it in hand.
Even if you were with a girl, the situation would be the same. They have learned your boundary the naked way.
Tell them you still wait for weekend birthday.
My first thought was going to be your gf doesn't like your beard because the scruff irritates her skin when kissing or going down on her. But then you brought your mom into it….
This is so 1940s, it saddens me. And it feels manipulative – OP watch it. It’s 2023 and presumably she lives in an industrialized country (?). Instead of assuming the financial responsibility for her – how about helping her figure out how to become self supporting instead. Watch the child while she attends light school for example. She will eventually thank you for that.
I'm sorry that you had a terrible, unforgivable experience dating this guy. But I'm going to start with the answer your asking for. There's no flexibility and it really worries me you came to us looking for that.
It's like a Christian mom googling proof God exisists and printing “that one article”. The moral here being the obvious answer, and every answer you've got has been begging you to run. But your hoping that someone will have a magic bullet for you that doesn't end in a break up with your cereal cheater, serially deviat partner.
If you feel young enough that your not looking for something serious (since he's not), and you don't mind risking an std, and you don't want to be loved (Because I assume he demands monogamy from you while chasing other girls who don't respond to him?) Then here's your permission to stay in that awful relationship.
But if your ready to take a step toward respecting yourself, taking an objective look at where your at right now is a good start. Your looking for any reason to stay with this guy right now. Be honest with yourself, is the comfort and familiarity of this pain easier than whatever you fear from being single?
I have this happen recently too with myself. I think algorithms are extremely smart & effective and they know how to keep us glued to the screen. I wouldn't worry just yet. Maybe encourage some outdoor activities. When I go feed seagulls I get off my phone. Gotta distract the brain a bit. It's naked tho, I even use phone at work and in class. It's an addiction for sure.
Let me start by saying I’m sorry. Break ups suck, you’re grieving and I’m here as a random stranger presumably piling on like a dick. I’m sorry. Please know that’s not my intention.
When I said you were lying to us and yourself, I honestly assumed it wasn’t on purpose. I promise you that that’s a common sentiment. What I’m trying to tell you, is that when you take a step pack and put the entire situation into perspective, you logically know why it’s over. It’s happened before. Nothing’s changed, and the cycle repeats itself.
I get that you (as did I) think that getting back together will end the pain, or that being explicitly told (again) why she ended it will be all it takes for you to finally move on, but that logically won’t be the case because you’ll always try to poke holes in it and argue with her about it. It’s already happened.
You believe this time will be different. I truly want to believe you’re being genuine and that that will be the case at least from your side. But again, history has shown that to be bullshit. And one again, I’m not here telling you you don’t mean it. I believe you do. But have you said this before? Has she asked for this before? You know, you just realized things in therapy. Why didn’t you go earlier? That’s what she’s thinking about.
Finally, while you say you never asked about other issues, which is fair, you’re also suggesting that she never once brought up any issues to you. No one is going to believe that to be true.
[TODAY] only I came to know he is married. 2.I haven't confronted him about anything yet. So, I am not behaving childish. 3.I have kept my feelings with me only.
hundreds of millions of accounts here. Make a throwaway account (like the spammers do, every 5 min.) and then post your question. Your BF isnt going to know it is you
Who the fuck cares about her social group? She wants to tip toe around and act like she doesn’t have proof this guy is a nightmare. The unrequested dick pictures are enough to go to police. Why pretend to her friends like he’s a great guy? So he can do the same to them?
Would you rather block him and things be a little awkward when you’re attending the same events or continue to deal with this harassment? Blocking does work. What’s he going to do, ask you in public why you won’t send him nudes? Of course not. Respect yourself more than he respects you.
So dump
I don’t think you overreacting.
SIX YEARS OF THIS.
OP I am not going to assume like everyone ese that you haven't talked about it, expressed your frustration or throw out the !therapy fixes everything! and this is the first time you've said something so…
If you are at your breaking point and it is causing this much stress, you must make a decision. Period. You sit down, sit her down and you calmly tell her that this is nonsense , there is nothing can do about your insecurity about this and I am not going to deal with this childish nonsense any longer so make a decision, you either let it go now, or you let me go now. Pick one and if you pick me, I never want to hear about you not being my first again, because then you won't be my last.
EASY.
Dude I am too attached to her to give up on her, i don't want this relationship to end .
Totally agree two women can have a family and that it's not fair to her if I knew I wanted a husband. That's where I'm stuck. I've spent my whole life thinking I wanted a man but suddenly I have this incredible relationship with a woman but the in the back of my mind i'm like “wait so the 20+ years of imagining life with a man weren't real?” which is off putting.
I genuinely would like to ask how you navigate dating a bi girl? does she ever express interest in men?
My post history is irrelevant to this post but its not fake haha truly just a confused gal trying to figure out her sexuality and not hurt others along the way!
To be honest, people have very different standards when it comes to deleting old content. Some people think you should automatically delete everything NSFW as soon as you're no longer with the other person in the photos/videos, others don't see the harm in keeping them as long as the ex didn't ask that they be deleted. (Obviously you should always delete anything with another person in it if they ask you to, that should go without saying.)
Personally, I don't delete things unless someone asks me to. I'm sure there are some old sexts or nudes in my cloud somewhere from previous girlfriends. I don't feel a need to get rid of them, but I also don't feel a need to go look them back up and reminisce since that feels slightly creepy and a little disrespectful to my wife.
So I guess the question in your case is, do you think he was watching those regularly? If so that may be an issue, but if not I'd recommend trying to think of it as just old history that didn't get deleted. Not everyone clears those things out.
got it
Unless your name is Bart and you on-line in Springfield
Says the mf that won't stop replying.
Why are you even questioning this
FYI heroin barely exists anymore and you can die from snorting fentanyl. Please keep narcan in the house if you don't already.
Inconsiderate. Horrible. Don’t love either. Love is singular.