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The low is the problem here, not the act. I’m friends with all of my exes and my SO doesn’t care and never has. But I’ve also never lied about the kind of relationship I’ve had with any of my friends or former lovers. She’s bending the truth and situation to do whatever she wants. It’s fucked up and way too early in the relationship to pull this bullshit. I’d move on now before you guys get too serious.
The official definition of the verb groom is to “prepare or train (someone) for a particular purpose or activity.”
If an older person manipulates a young, naive and inexperienced person into a relationship or sexual activity, I don’t think it should matter all that much whether the person being manipulated is technically over the age of 18. The decision making part of the brain doesn’t mature until around age 25! It would obviously be a lot worse if they were a minor, but to say the same tactics of manipulation used on someone so close to being a minor (in comparison to their ‘partner’) fall into a different category because someone is a few months or years above the age of 18 is just protecting abusers imo.
You worded it strangely but are they also his kids ??
i mean in both cases it didn’t seem to hide the fact nor was he embarrassed to talk about. yeah prob not the best introduction on the last part. but seem like he think of u more than just fucking if he didn’t was the girl to be his wingman. also u communicated how you felt and he seem to respond well to it. almost seems healthy if u ask me
Why date someone with questionable morals?
You’re not wrong to feel weird.
It hurts you, so your bf needs to set boundaries. You're not wrong for having those feelings. Some people don't have a problem with this, but there are men and women who wouldn't appreciate that kind of behaviour.
My boyfriend got a picture of a “funny” and pervy picture about women that looked like they were giving a bj on some objects. I told him that this is disrespectful to me and that he crosses a boundary if he doesn't stop it. My bf told his friend immediately and there were no pictures anymore. I don't find it funny and I don't think this is appropriate in MY relationship. You need to decide if your relationship is worth continuing if he keeps accepting these pictures.
If I were in your shoes, I'd have a last talk with him. I'd tell him, if he doesn't stop this immediately, the relationship is going to die.
He’s trying, either consciously or subconsciously, to confuse you and get you off balance so that you doubt yourself and agree to what he’s saying. My guess is that he was very well behaved in the beginning of your relationship and now that he knows you are smitten, he is showing his true colors. He’s comfortable being possessive and unreasonable now. You absolutely cannot let this continue or it will get worse. He either stops doing what he’s doing or you have to leave if you don’t want this to get worse.
Thank you for clarifying that im over thinking. I just want this work so baaaaddd
Sounds like you're overthinking things.
I’m glad, because this is so far beyond anything I can comprehend feeling. I was traumatized in my own way, of course. But that own way was being mothered by the psychopath that molested my brother, because naturally she was also not an awesome parent in lots of other ways. Also, he was the golden child to her. There were four of us; 2 older boys, 2 younger sisters. I was the baby. And he was the one who tormented me growing up. I didn’t understand at the time why he was so mean and I had only a nebulous sense of what was going on. But when we got a bit older it really helped us become great friends and for me to get past his previous bullying, that I knew he had reasons to be so messed up, although we never discussed it directly.
So I can’t deny having a parent who molests children is traumatic but come on, princess. I’m sorry but thinking of all this is making me really fucking pissed at your fiancée. My brother died a few years ago and I was devastated. I kind of irrationally still blame Mom (not an issue; she’s been dead for decades) even though it was cancer.
Wow, I super just made this about me, sorry! But I hope it’s helpful, at least. And, yeah, not to be judgmental or anything but she’s absolutely terrible and please follow up with getting the hell out of this.
I would be disgusted and uncomfortable.
Best case scenario: he has some sort of early onset dementia and forgot how old he is.
Awww thank you. I am too, he was throwing up SO MANY red flags. I don't know how he thought any of that was ok. I think he just wanted to do what he wanted and expected me to go along with it. He must have thought I had zero self respect to put up with that. I'm sorry but I don't care what they were doing, how was it ok for them to have the door closed?
I don't care that her son supposedly closed it, he should have opened it immediately. He can try to justify it all he wants. He shouldn't have been in her room to begin with, I love how he lied and said that they left the door open.
Ofc it hurts but even if you decide to break things off – which i think is very reasonable- you could sit down with her and tell her all your thought and feelings and why this hurts you and how you saw her before.
Before you make any decisions or concessions CONSULT A LAWYER!!! They can tell you what rights your ex actually has, and if he can force contact, after he refused responsibility back then. Don't let him or his family meet them before the lawyer consultation – once they've established a relationship with the kids, they may have different rights, depending on your local laws.
Leave. It is one of the most insane relationships I have heard about. And believe me , I have met a lot of things.
I did tell him we should go no contact about a month after our breakup but he kept hitting me up and I fell back in with him :/ you’re right though I should enforce no contact
Stop compromising. It’s your face.
Yeah… I love toys but agreements must occur beforehand
holy crap – you are being way to casual about this i think
It's getting into a seriously dangerous area – you should definetly tell HR and possibly be ready to call the police, because this is getting bad fast. One thing is being creepy in what he is saying but physically touching you in that way is getting into another territory. Gather witness statements and go to HR ASAP
Presuming this is real for a second (although its obviously not), WHY have you not recorded any evidence yet? I doubt youre truly being outsmarted by a 9year old…right?