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I'd say either help out or spend less time there.
Your boyfriend sees you as a pin up girl when you have make up on
So question you get into a accident will he be there? Or dump you?
When you get sick does he take care of you or ignore you?
Your out for coffee and you see bf with another girl..who has makeup and dolled up what do you do?
Your bf is not a good guy..
A keeper wakes up next to you and tells you your beautiful..
If you have a cold takes care of you and tells you he loves you.
You get hurt he is there or in the hospital he sleep on a chair next to you.
He does not care if you have make up on.. because he sees you!! The real you..your light!
Dump the dude..and find a man who loves you!!
You indicate in the OP that you take responsibility for your actions, and want to improve and want advice.
However, in the comments, you seem hostile to advice, and balk at what you consider “judgment”.
I think you still regard these episodes as an aberration for which you are not ultimately responsible. The fact is, we are all the product of wrongs and traumas for which we were not entirely responsible, that nevertheless shape consequent volitional actions for which we are entirely responsible. It’s not fair. But the buck stops somewhere, so to speak. Part of taking responsibility is understanding that, no matter how unfair the circumstances were that led you to this point, you own your volitional actions. No one else can.
Thats some misogyny, right there.
If wife wants sage she should cook dinner, otherwise she should remain silent about it.
If all your exes are ugly then she thinks that you have a type. ie, ugly girls.
She is currently with you therefore she must be your type.
This can be avoided if you point out that you don't go for looks but you are attracted to girls that are horrendous assholes.
Commenters don't seem to understand what the issue is here.
Your wife has something she wants to ask. But rather than just asking, she acts like coloumbo and asks around the issue and tries to guess what you think.
She then behaves as though her guess is what you want.
You are trying to explain that trying to guess what someone wants isnt being nice, its annoying because she can just ask you and you will communicate your want directly.
This leads you to need to be very careful about all your answers because if you don't answer correctly she assumes something incorrect and then doesn't express herself.
You need to explain the issue is that she isnt doing what you want. She is guessing what you want. That's the issue. Her method is ineffective!
Have you just asked him about the lack of sex or have you also tried to initiate sex and he turned it down?
If so sit him down and dont let him dodge the question. Tell him how much it bothers you and you want to know the reason so you two can work it out. He needs to open up about his thoughts first.
Nobody sleeps well at the hospital. They're in ans out all night long to check on you and tell you to rest. I'd rest better if you'd leave me the fuck alone! Poor guy probably went home to nap.
You might be thinking of serendipity, friend
Nah. When words don’t work and you’ve made multiple attempts and someone is STILL harassing you, sometimes you need to get physical.
However, I would strongly recommend NEVER hitting a man. You got very lucky he did not hit you back, I promise you he’s probably 2-3x stronger than you. I’m glad it worked! But please just be careful
I refuse to believe any of this is real. A 26 year old women thinks another grown man holding her hand is doing that to keep her warm. That she went over to another man's house, stayed the night, slept in the same bed, cuddle, had him make a move, and not see all the obvious glaring issues here.
I’d bet GF is smoking a bit of meth 3 times a week.
This sounds like you two are ripe for a divorce, as continuing on like this does no good to you or your children. If he is not willing to participate in the marriage, or participate in fixing it there's no point in staying married.
Also, if you’re having trouble commenting I don’t think you’re alone. I think two have been deleted for unknown reasons by Reddit. Feel free to dm me if you’re comfortable with it.
Yes!! I’ve been searching for a comment like this. So strange it’s the norm in America? It’s pretty much seen similar to FGM in the UK
Jesus Christ dude, she is a predator.
Thats whats confusing how does a look make her feel accused? Im curious of what that looks like aswell.
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So ofc like any other guy with an attractive gf, my gf gets hit on by other dudes in public. One of the primary ways she rejects them is by giving them a fake number instead of saying that she have a bf. The first time she did that and told me I didn’t really agree. I thought “why is she even entertaining it” or “just tell them you have a bf and go on with your day”. But she says that the men nowadays don’t care about that. I feel like that is true to some extent but I also feel like most men would take the hint and leave. I don’t know if I’m overreacting, or this is some hidden trust issues or insecurities. Any advice from the women or men?
Jesus Christ I feel like I read the same posts everyday.
“I learned something about my gf, I really value sex and somehow this has never come up, she HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE!”
I guarantee this all the same poster. Watch, they’ll say “I broke up with her since that’s what everyone said to do” or delete the post and account if other redditors catch on as well
I feel like this is the most fitting answer for our situation. It's like he can't just enjoy himself freely or feels ashamed when I “catch” him.. I'm not trying to embarrass him, just let me help you finish..
Why the hell are you still talking to him? Why haven't you told his wife?
You should be worried. Yes he loves you but the way he handles the situation with his ex tells me the real dealbreaker: he’s immature. He’s not adult enough to be in a serious relationship.
Dump her already.
do not indulge his asinine possessiveness. she was not his. and you don’t need his permission. the fact that he would even say that to you is very misogynistic.
he does not sound sane enough to be a good friend to you, but if you don’t want to hit him just tell your friend group this story and i’m sure someone else will
We don't want to satisfy our curiosity, we are afraid for his health. He doesn't have so many people who checks on him. But you got me thinking about the 'ambush', I added an edit
You need to trust your gut instinct. That aside looking at the situation objectively, She's lied to you, if she's comfortable enough to lie about one thing she'll lie about another. She's hiding things from you, when someone hides something it's usually because they know it's wrong in some way, if she's hidden one thing she'll be hiding other things They've been intimate before.. If they've been texting and planning to meet up odds are it's not going to be just to hang out is it. If her friend won't elaborate on details of their relationship it's probably because she knows you're not going to like what you hear. Again you need to trust your gut instinct and not ignore these things. There's a reason you feel this way it's not paranoia
Hope for the best and prepare for the worst is a sound way of living. Always have a plan B. That's not negative thinking. That's being aware that things in life can turn on a dime.
As far as me? Now I just have girlfriends and maybe a FWB. Serious relationships take too much sacrifice and compromise and I like my life the way it is. It's predictable, simple, and suits me just fine. Adding in someone with whom I'll have to contend with over trivial things no longer interests me.
I would absolutely not do that. To me it’s a respect thing. Like I was blown away she thought it was appropriate or ok to begin with
Based on this and your other posts, you seem extremely committed to policing your girlfriend’s sexuality. Y’all don’t seem very compatible.
Because they get flattered by the attention from the randy old Lothario. The guy knows how to appeal to a shy girl like OP says she was and the young woman doesn't see the manipulation. She does not see herself as a child, she is tricked into thinking she is wildly desirable, smart, whatever. The old creep uses her till his true self comes out and he needs the challenge of the next sweet, young thing.
I would like an update if your up to it. Show your husband this post.
Retard
U triggered her reality
Yes, you are being unreasonable
Thailand is much more – so much more – than a sex shop for aging white milennials and Xers. The fact that so many of you are validating this kind of thinking is frankly offensive, bigoted, and hysterical.
Thailand is a tropical paradise with rich history and nearly infinite activities available at prices so low you will NOT find them anywhere else. You can get some of the best tattoos, merchandise, or adventure activities for a 20th the inflated cost in a western country. The citirs are beautiful, as are the villages. The food is excellent and the people are kind and welcoming. The full moon party is also one of a kind.
I've never fucked a hooker in my life, nor wanted to, even when single. But I could happily spend my whole life in Thailand and it is a retirement consoderstion for me.
Here are the FACTS:
-Your boyfriend was single when he went there. Therefore, he has no “history” of anything except being a single man
-Your boyfriend has never cheated nor acted sus
-Your boyfriend does not have to partake in everything his buddies do. He can walk the market square or have dinner and cheap cold beers while they get their rocks off … and that's assuming his friends even want to bang hookers, which is not for everyone
-they're probably just going to attend the FMP, sleep through the next day hung over as all hell, and take it easier until they return.
Just leave. Like what is the point of this
So what is the solution? I continue to wait until I’m completely barren and not able to do anything?
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. There are some things that just cannot be worked out.
You’re both being adamant about the same thing – where to live!. It also sounds like you have other concerns – her family.
This may not be the right person for you. I’m sorry.
I see! So the therepist is someone I could vent with and release my emotional pressure, but to my girlfriend I should explain calmly and logically so that she understands why I'm behaving the way I am?
Should he have pissed inside her? Why is this not an accident? I don't see any compelling evidence other than he has a dick so it must have been deliberate.
He continued all over the bed because it was an accident, he couldn't have stopped himself. That's how accidents work.
Why do you think it was not an accident? While uncommon in young men, urinary incontinence absolutely happens.
Girl not once reading this did I believe either of you love each other. I see lust and infatuation and codependency, but not love. You’re tied to him bc of the kid, but I genuinely think you’ll be happier if you keep this guy out of your love life. You’re so young and deserve so much more than this toxic naked and cold nonsense.
Ha! So interesting that you said that, because the vibe I got from his comment was that he sounds like a naked right-winger of some sort. It's all well and good to want a prenup, but if you start going off on the evils of the state before a first date that's going to trigger some alarm bells.
First off, don't undermine people in actual “unsafe” situations by throwing that word around. You're not “unsafe”, you're just irritated that he's making plans without you and assuming that you'd drop everything to make a major move with him (after only four months, yikes). It's annoying and presumptive, it's not a threat to your safety. Four months is roughly 120 days. Neither of you have invested all that much into this. This guy is a poor communicator and that's about the extent of it. Just break up with him if this is so unbearable for you.
Every girls wants to be treated like a princess however she could have asked nicer than that.
Based on your post, it sounds like she’s using you for your money. Yet she’s obviously not treating you well or being appreciative or trying to do anything nice for you. She does a few things to make it seem like she’s treating you, but she’s doing the absolute bare minimum.
From an outside perspective, and only hearing your side, I feel that your relationship is unequal.
I’ve been in several relationships where it’s understood that our bodies are open for the other person to enjoy at anytime.
If this is even true, she's clearly accustomed to walking all over you. Nobody who wasn't very much used to humiliating their spouse would ever send a text like that.
You've likely know what you need to do for years.
This should be top comment.
I myself have a bunch of anxiety disorders, which causes me to have irrational thoughts and fears, such as do my close friends and family actually like me? These are decades/lifelong positive relationships, and I logically know they do like me, yet I still negatively struggle and question it in my head.
So to me, it sounds like her untreated underlying anxiety disorders were triggered by a close friend's traumatic experience. Inadvertently, her suggestion of going to therapy together might actually help you two work through her anxiety. That said, individual therapy probably would help her as well. Side note: with how society is these days, I agree with her that it seems like everyone could benefit from some therapy.
Yeahhh he ain't weird! He's a manipulative sod, is what he is! Also, pay attention to what he's saying:
your diploma will not be useful to you since you will be an housewife
Lately he has been talking a lot about his dream to become a father, and I do want children but not before I start working and I say that he pout and don't talk to me and then come like nothing happened.
This man is manipulating you, I bet that some lovebombing is involved, too!
Get away from him while you can, he won't let you work and he might make sure to baby trap you soon!!
Get out
Holy crap! How can you not see how screwed up this is?? Literally everyone here is telling you that he is a controlling asshat that is going to trap you into a life you don't want! He wants you pregnant, staying home, and being COMPLETELY dependent upon you! Stop arguing that you can't leave him. Now is literally the only time you CAN leave him, before you have a kid and no job. Next up — he'll start isolating you from your friends and family.
Thanks so much!! Yeah you’re right, we need mutual respect. Thanks again for your advice 🙂
Yeah. I’m going to wait a while (like a month or less) to see if he’d be open to seeing aCSAT therapist bc we currently have a regular relationship therapist. If he’s not, or still refuses to see a problem… maybe I should let go.
You have anger issues if you're a grown adult willing to swing at a family member regardless of what was said. With that being the case, you should feel like shit for accidentally striking your significant other. Id #1 ask her permission to come home. 2 see a therapist for whatever anger/family issues you have. And 3, dont see any family until you do have some therapy sessions.
Is kissing cheating? My vote is no. Also is the woman that sent you the video your fiance's best friend. My vote is also no. A best friend should protect you from yourself when your judgment is impaired .. not encourage bad ideas and video tape it. Do you even know if your fiance was drugged? Her so called best friend could have slipped her something to set her up.
Funny, he checks your phone every time you are together but didnt find them until today. ?? Weird.
Listen if you want to continue to be monitored and have a relationship where there is no trust keep going.
Usually when 1 partner has so little trust in the other its because they are guilty of something!!! Maybe you should look at HIS phone.
Move on
Do her parents know?
This is a fun little bit of creative writing, are you submitting it for a class?
I'd rather stay home than go to his wedding. Your family is not cool. You know that, right? Very uncaring and kind of cruel. Wow
lol like tossing the clothes in the machine takes effort. Folding is the biggest thing that makes laundry a chore, or else I wouldn't have had to do 3 loads worth last night because I had been putting it off for however long. I'll happily do the washing part all day long if someone else is doing the folding.
My husband of 14 years has never ever called me a name. Especially that name. You have only invested 6 months into this guy. I don’t think you need to see what else he is capable of.
It wasn’t openly telling someone it seems from OPs verbiage that it was a private convo. To break up with someone over the idea of “what it’s” is childish and terrible advice giving.
My son stopped sitting on my lap at around at 7. Definitely not normal, very weird.
If we move to a new state where this isn’t an issue, he’ll vote blue again. He has the money. I’m in a high income career track, I think we can make it
If she is not willing to change, try therapy or talk to you about it then there is nothing you can do. I suggest another try at being honest and laying your cards on the table. If she still doesn't try to change then you need to think about if you are happy living like this forever.
I like how you are the one complaining about it but then defends him lol
Together for 3 months. He is very much wanting to fast track our relationship and wants us to move in together immediately.
Is a massive red flag.
For example:
I am wholly against moving in together and told him that that type of discussion and decision is after 1 year of dating
Combined with response:
He does not understand why I feel this way and keeps pushing me to change my mind.
You've communicated “This is what works for me”… without respecting your POV, he is trying to convince you against your own will.
This:
I want to take things slow and see if this is something I want to be long term but he keeps emphasizing that we are both old at 28 years old (I don't think that's really old) and should hurry up.
Is Ludacris.
Yes, you're 28 years old… That doesn't mean you should hurry up. That means you should be calculated in your decisions and execute them for the right reasons.
Rushing things is the last thing you want to do.
You're still getting to know each-other. 3 months is not enough time.
You're practically strangers still and developing your relationship:
There are things, as I get to know him more and more, that I'm not ok with. For instance, he can be very judgmental of others and their weight, judges people who drink since he does not, thinks most everyone is not as smart as him, etc.
I don't think this is the one. This one sounds like he is trying to 'catch' you, instead of build with you.
she told me she was going on a walk with her dad before it it happened, told me she had been on a walk with her best friend after it happened, admitted that was a lie and she was out on her own after that, and admitted that this was all a lie a couple of days ago.
You wrote a wall of text and the simple answer is. Do not talk to this woman. Block her and ignore.
We have a pretty tumultuous past. I am still in the process of forgiving myself. But yes, extremely physically abusive since we met at 14 and 15. It subsided in our mid 20’s a bit. I learned his cues of when he was about to lose it and progressively got better at adjusting accordingly to those. It’s been a “don’t poke the bear” type of living for many years.
sadly, he actually is that dim-witted. keep on doing what is right for YOU.
there is no point in trying to figure out what is wrong with him, don't waste your time on him.
Threesomes are best when they are spontaneous, in the moment, you're both feeling it and go for it. Planning it with somebody you know is just not a good idea. If anything goes wrong this person will be in your life forever to remind you of it.
Welp, he was right that you’re a smart girl! ?????
Just move on. It wasn't this guy's job to be faithful to you. It was your wife's. The fact that you are still trying to 'get back'at a guy who couldn't care less about you is the real hold he has over you.
Get therapy. That’s what you do.
My friend what is there to doubt? She hasn't suddenly met him 15 minutes ago. She is not in an open relationship. She has quite clearly cheated and broken any and probably all standard monogamous boundaries before she's even spoken to you about opening the relationship. She has cheated. Your relationship is over. Take the words of advice from the many hundreds and hundreds of years of experience from the people commenting on your post
So you wanted an open relationship it in ship then wanted to divorce bro but now he lost 11k so you feel like you have a reason
Hey,OP, You said you have to worry about what to say whenever you end up at the same place. Take satisfaction that you never sent anything to him that he can show or talk about. Because he would have screwed you, dropped you and tried to damage your reputation. Do this for me. Look him straight in the eye, don’t blink and stare him down. He’s an ugly one that is immature. Good for you!!
She’s def a shitty person but you’re also pretty shitty. Gotta tell the honest truth n let ya relationship go where it goes if it falls apart because of this then welp it is what it is. Better hope she doesn’t unload on ya and tell you she was cheating on ya anyways
He wanted alone time with his ex. You deserve better.
Is this a huge red flag or is it just her being honest? Should I be worried about trusting her or is it just me being insecure?
These are not all mutually exclusive, and the answer is “yes” to varying degrees to all of them.
– Yes, it is a red flag that not only has your GF cheated, she has basically admitted to you that she would be tempted to cheat again, albeit under particular circumstances.
– Yes, she is being honest to a dumb question that you posed. Don't ask questions you don't want honest answers to. But also, she could learn to be a bit more tactful with her honesty.
– Should you be worried about trusting her? I would definitely want some rules in place regarding alcohol consumption. She said even she would be concerned about being around “certain people”. THat's plural, not just the one person.
– Are you being insecure? Absolutely. What she has basically admitted is that she may not be particularly trustworthy under certain circumstances. That doesn't mean she's not trustworthy at all.
Dude.
How have you gotten to 30 without realizing women are constantly harassed at gyms and have to be careful with how they handle men?
She told you and trusts you not to blame *her£ for getting out of the situation as safely as possible; don’t make this about you.
Assign a color for the mothers to wear? I still think accidental red wine spill is the funniest way to go!
Yep. I mean, you could do a break up but being busy every time works too.
Choose the dog. He's an immature douche.
Doesn't sound good. Looks like you made attempts to compromise and it still wasn't good enough for her. Time you two have a heart to heart about where this is heading because you shouldn't have to change who you are, the things you enjoy just for someone else's happiness.
OP, you were crying BECAUSE it was wrong. If he cared about you and your pleasure, you wouldn't be in pain. He would've taken care to ensure you would've been good for entry. Instead he was rough and only about his pleasure. You were just a body for HIS use.
He did NOT forget that you said no. He just didn't care. He thought you were too drunk to remember or wake up. He didn't think he would get caught. THAT is the truth. Now he is trying to “make it up” because you caught him and are upset. But he assaulted you. Yes is yes only.
Hun, get rid of him. Ge doesn't care about you enough. You deserve better. Someone who thinks that consent is sexy. All kinks require enthusiastic consent.
Care giver how? Court ordered? Are they a government official?
I mean I hope it isn’t a relative right?
You need to figure out the relationship here. Is it just some random guy who stole all his stuff? Court ordered guardian?
Most of this sounds very illegal, unless he was court order to not be able to handle his own finances it sounds like this guy just stole control over his accounts. He’s an adult.
It sounds like financial fraud. Just Google financial fraud disabled persons money and look into the groups that help disabled people
In the future, you can ask for Ella. It is a prescription, but is effective for over 150 bounds.
She went on saying that there is communication issues with them that she doesn’t like. He always keeps her out of the loop and apparently mistreats her emotionally.
Every cheater says this.
I’m keeping myself in a restraint stance due to the fact that she is technically with someone else.
oh wow how noble. She's not technically with someone else, she IS with someone else. There's no red string of fate, there's no lost souls finding each other, all there is is a cheater and her willing affair partner.
If she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you. So if you manage to move your position from “affair partner” to “boyfriend”, you're just creating a vacancy in your old position and she'll find someone to fill it.
The guy I'm replying to was the one who wrote “mother of your children”, hence I replied with the same term in quotation marks.
People here are really terrible at reading.
There is nothing in my purse. I also switch them
You aren’t crazy. You simply have boundaries and limits to what you’ll tolerate.
Are you attracted to men? If youre not, then youre not gay
Assuming your post is true, you do realize that your girlfriend is a total pos? She is cheating on her boyfriend/fiance, first of all. Second, she is stringing along her side-piece (you!) for two whole fucking years??? And she moved in with him???? And got engaged????? Just so she doesnt hurt his feelings.
Read that to yourself. What kind of a monster willingly lies to someone for that long and goes through all these monumental decisions… while claiming its all fake and she wont go through the wedding.
Either she’s full of shit and never planning to leave him, making you the naive affair partner and nothing more, or she’s actually not planning to get married and is just cruel.
You’re a fool for waiting 2 years and letting your infatuation blind you. How the hell you sat on the sidelines and thought, “this is ok. Her actions make sense!” is olympic-level mental gymnastics. And your girlfriend is aweful. 2 years having an affair/cheating. The option that makes HER look less evil is if it’s all a lie and she’s just keeping you around as her play thing, otherwise she’s doing something terrible to another person.
Being straight, bi, or gay, thats just a shitty excuse you guys are using to justify this scummy behaviour. Quit hiding behind genders and call this what it is.
If you want to start the conversation again, on a serious note, then maybe start off the conversation with:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking about the game we played the other day…. About our relationship and finances. If one day we joined out finances what do you think out finances will look like?”
Viagra? So?Lots of men take it. Different libidos – move on chances are it won't change. Simple.
You are responding with panic because your brain is telling you, DO NOT DO IT!
You are seeing an exit sign but confusing it for an entrance sign if you take him back.
You know it’s not safe with him and you deserve to feel SAFE with anyone you date.
Never settle for feeling unsafe!
I don’t think of anyone as a hoe, and I don’t shame people for being promiscuous, I think it’s more natural than most monogamous relationships. I wouldn’t exactly say I’m tired of fucking hoes either, I rather enjoy it. But it would be nice to have a more mature, fulfilling relationship.
No, she doesn't give a solitary fuck about that guy, he's a dick, she knows that.
If you can't understand how difficult balancing friendship, lovers, and family are, you're very immature, and your opinion is irrelevant. We all have full social circles, and everything in life is balance, and you should know that.
Are you prepared to take in your nieces and the newborn? And possibly your sister in law? That is what you need to be concerned with. You and your wife need to have a deep discussion where all of that is decided and set in place. Because that's where it is headed. Your SIL will not change, and you can't do anything about that. The only thing you can do is be prepared for the inevitable and not be caught unprepared.
Unfortunately, it's entirely possible the mom has been surrounded by guys like this all her life, and doesn't know that men can also…just not be creeps. OP, you have a much healthier expectation of how a man should behave. Don't back down.
Let's know how it goes.
I mean.. this seems like the simplest thing, I'm not sure if she's cheating, but she definitely doesn't respect you.
It's definitely suspicious that she gets so jealous but deflects when she wants to spend time with a guy, I imagine she might have a crush or just wants the validation of another man's attention , even if it's platonic on his end.
Then stop dating kids that live! with their parents. Date someone your age with a full time job.
I'm married with a kid, older, and I used to have a PT.
The most he complimented me was my determination and dedication. That's all.
There's no “you make me smile” or him referring me with a … sweet nickname…TF.
Are you sure, she's truly fine with him flirting with her? She may think 'weirdly' of him now after reading what he wrote to her. But if she keeps renewing, maybe she does want something “more.”
Do not let him pressure you into doing ANYTHING, sexual or not, without you being 100% comfortable with it and give your consent. You are allowed to change your mind, and if he doesn't want to be with you on the sole basis that he can't force and guilt you into having unprotected sex with him your first time, then that's the trash taking itself out. This man doesn't care about you or respect you. Let him go, you're extremely young and have so much time and life ahead of you. I regret and always will regret giving in to pressure my first time. It was extremely painful, over in minutes, and I felt thrown away after he got what he wanted. Leave him, or allow him to leave and find someone who cares about you. Or at the bare minimum respects the word no.
Because he can assert control and have some of yours.
Tell him that you understand he's going through a lot but you are not qualified to help him and his venting is causing you stress. That he should probably see a professional for his issues, and in the meantime you are taking a break from him for your own mental health.
Wow ok I never got a chance to comment on the first post so I will do that here first.
he told me he wouldn't ever want to go anywhere and be seen with a “loser like me”.
This is the moment right here where things would have gotten to “It is him or me” conversation, and I don't care if he's gay, some person calls me a loser like this and gets personal with me there's a good chance it's getting physical. I don't know why people think they can be openly disrespectful to others.
she can tell he is unhappy about our relationship but that doesn't change anything for her. She loves me and that is that.
No she does NOT. I don't care if this is a friend, best friend, or even a family member. If you truly love your SO and someone is unhappy about your relationship then you have to decide right then and there if you should cut them out. I would never have someone in my life that hates my SO or vice versa. Even if it were family.
she is taking his side always
Yeah she is, she's super disrespectful to you and sounds like a huge headache.
Ok now to this update post:
Dude you are so much fucking better off without her. She was disrespectful towards you throughout your entire relationship and that's unacceptable. People can get angry with one another, tell a lie, make a mistake, etc. But if they lose respect for you then there is no saving that relationship. I respect random people on the street more than your GF respected you.
I actually wonder if she let her BFF talk her into starting to hate you and then she asked him to just blow up at you to scare you off because she wanted the breakup. Either way you are better off man. I know it's cliche but seriously just hit the gym, work on yourself and be thankful you don't have to listen to that loser anymore.
You dodged a bullet, I’d stay in touch with the people who called out on John’s BS. As you grow old, some of them may become good honest friends.
You are plotting revenge against a man just because he decided to end the relationship that barely lasted a year. This is terrifying behaviour.
This was after OP tells us that she refused to accept his apology.
Well, you're both young. Sometimes immaturity is due to being young and inexperienced, not knowing how to cope or handle hurt feelings. Other times the behavior is more intentional manipulation.
You could tell her you understand she's hurt. But this is no way to handle hurt feelings in a relationship, and you wont accept being treated like that. If she wants to talk about it, she can call you. Otherwise you consider the relationship over.
You said nothing wrong.
She's insecure and got hurt. Being hurt over trivial things can happen to anyone, but it's not ok to go over the rails like that without even talking to you. And she needs to learn that's not how you resolve hurt feelings.
I do think he probably likes her, but of course I don’t know. It’s bad that he tried to hide it from you. I think you should sleep on it and see how you feel about trusting him tomorrow.
Well, having adult responsibilities is understandable. However you should work to live!, not the other way around (unless you both think otherwise of course).
You should be honest with your feelings, and needs with him. Perhaps can both of you temporarily reduce your focus on your jobs, to spend some quality time together?
This is vital for a long term relationship to find proper time for each other, even if it must come at the expense of other things. Without it relationship will erode, and whatever you may achieve spending time on other things will not bring love back to your Relationship once it dies out.
This also what you should convey to your partner.
Think about how you feel with him. And think about how you feel away.
If you are happier away. Then it's time to leave him.
If it's only a communication issue. Get to therapy. Get professional help with that.
That was your mom. She was your parent so yes she was patient with you because you were HER CHILD! This is a grown ass man throwing temper tantrums and disrespecting you. I don’t care if he’s sick, he’s abusive and a terrible partner. You DON’T have to accept this and you DO NOT OWE him anything. You ARE NOT his mother. YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE!
He's a crack addict, according to the post. Something tells me he wasn't Father of the Year before this.
Well this comment changes your post entirely. Probably should have included that you are begging him not to cheat not for any reason that he has given you, but because you have issues from prior relationships you are projecting on to him.
Everyone is just immediately jumping on OP’s side but this is a pretty glaring problem.
So, when your random request wasn't satisfied, you resulted to silent treatment? Really think that's fight worthy? You know, there are types of people who crave conflict. They are kind of like energy vampires, it's exhausting to be in relationships with them. You may be one of those people. And yes, silent treatment is also considered a form of abuse.
How often does he talk about her? Why, according to him, is he still following her family?
” it just happened…” “I didn't mean to” then kinda blame it on drunk yadda yadda
all while having constant contact.
Cheaters ALL say this, the only difference here is she didn't blame you, which is a first in cheater stories for me.
I feel your pain man, but you are much better off because the old saying is absolutely true, once a cheater always a cheater. She is a fraud of a human being, they all are.
Alright if I’m understanding correctly, you yourself don’t want a relationship. So yeah, you enjoy it while it lasts like you originally said. What else do you want us to say?
If it was about his brother and father all along why wasn't he honest from the start? Yes you were invited as a couple, but he clearly had an additional agenda he was not honest about.
He is not an AH for wanting to go on an emotional bonding trip with family, party with longtime friends, or for not wanting finances to overshadow it.
But he was an AH for his poor communication and making you feel unwanted. Basically, at the end, you can come if you want, but I'm going to be doing my thing, and won't be joining you except for the wedding.
I'm always suspicious of posts where everything is great and perfect except for this one thing. I highly doubt that this is the first time he's been thoughtless and inconsiderate of you.
You could argue that something you do once at 18 doesn't determine how strong a 20 year relationship is.
Obviously he is cheating or almost flirting with girls live!, he is keeping the cattle available. As soon as you just checked his Snapchat you don’t know if he has also another WhatsApp account, there are more apps you can double.
Agree with this too.
Yeah, cancel the trip and do not meet him in person for any reason. If you can’t find his license under his legal name in his state, he doesn’t have one.
They are available for the public to verify credentials for a reason. He also should be on other publicly available sites, like the hospital website, healthy grades, find a Doc, etc… (I check the licenses of any professional I use. You want to find out if your Dentist has been sued five times).
A ‘Doctor’ with zero live! presence or license is a red flag. As are the expensive gifts and him living out of state. You have no idea who this guy really is. But he isn’t being honest and is coming on really strong.
Intelligence, logic, and reason have no age…
Yeah, cancel the trip and do not meet him in person for any reason. If you can’t find his license under his legal name in his state, he doesn’t have one.
They are available for the public to verify credentials for a reason. He also should be on other publicly available sites, like the hospital website, healthy grades, find a Doc, etc… (I check the licenses of any professional I use. You want to find out if your Dentist has been sued five times).
A ‘Doctor’ with zero live! presence or license is a red flag. As are the expensive gifts and him living out of state. You have no idea who this guy really is. But he isn’t being honest and is coming on really strong. He may become dangerous if you confront him.
I wasn’t fine with it and I discussed the previous 2 with my sis (mother of this bride) months ago and she told me it was ‘protocol’ and to get over it.
You booked marriage counseling? No, ma'am. Book a lawyer, ASAP. Not only does he have no problem with the actions he actually took (and I hope you have separate checking/savings accounts, or you'd better get right on that), he apparently isn't concerned that your family is being harrassed by the pimp he got on the wrong side of by leaving early (this time).
Sometimes we make bad investments. Yours in your husband clearly is one. Get out, and get yourself tested for STDs.
Yes, I'll find it. In Colorado it's actually in some commercials by the tobacco industry.
Do you have savings to cover for that month’s lack of income? I think that he’s too focused on that to show empathy. I’m not trying to justify him but maybe explain him. He probably feels helpless as a SAHP to cover for your income loss and he’s possibly angry at him and quite stupidly takes it out on you.
the only thing you lose if you freeze your eggs if you don't use them is time and money
Just sit her down and talk about her tattoo in general. How does she feel when her son or others address the tattoo? Has she been upfront with her child yet at this point?
This is a really great comment. You've just changed my perspective on my own previous situation and WOW. Thank you!
Watch some Kevin Samuels videos together.
Even in the past when I wasn’t completely in the mood I would still give in to make him happy because I know how upset he gets so maybe I’ve created this for myself and I deserve it.
You are not to blame. He was 25 years old when he met you, an 18 year old barely an adult. There is a reason men like him try to lock down younger women. It's because those his age would not put up with it!
What he is doing is using manipulation and coercion to get you to have sex with him. His sexual needs are more important than your emotional and mental wellbeing. Let that sink in.
If you turn him down he will do everything he can to change your mind and when he can't, he gets mad at you and makes it your fault. It's HIS fault!
You are in an abusive relationship. I know this may be naked to hear because he doesn't hit you. That's not the only method to abuse someone, manipulation like this is much more dangerous because nobody believes you, or they make it seem reasonable and like it's your fault.
You lost 2 great grandmothers to you, and now are losing a grandmother and you lost your family dog. In the span of a year it seems like. That is a lot for anyone to deal with. Instead of him being there for you, in whatever you need, he is only thinking about his dick.
Make an exit plan and don't tell him. It will get ugly when you leave a person like this. Manipulators lose their shit when their victim wises up. Get all your legal papers safe and when he is gone, move only the things you must take with you. Everything else is forfeit in situations like this.
Get a therapist to heal from this relationship too.
I'm so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. He is the one at fault here and none of this is your fault. I don't care what you've put up with in the past, it's his actions that are wrong here.
I would probably wake her up gently and ask if she wants to sleep at your place instead. If she says yes she likely can get back to sleep quickly.
Sounds like it's the extra phone. It's not unreasonable for him to think you're being nutty, but do you have other evidence to suggest that he has been cheating?
Ya, but ain't nobody's kids got time for that
You honestly sound like me. I have a problem with authority and I can’t ever admit it.
You. You’re criticizing her for having a child when she has ADHD. I’m also sure she knows it can be passed down
Good news! It can be managed and isn’t some automatic life ruiner
Momma bear don’t like when you mess with the cubs