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I think your gut feeling is correct. You should listen.
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This happened two years before you even met. Nobody is in the wrong here. Just treat it as if you got with a guy four years ago that already had a child and you knew about it.
Their are millions of single parents out there, don’t make yourself one.
Cheating
My fav part is when he says he thinks it's childish
You were clearly seeing a new girl though ? Lauren? Am I missing something here? If you agreed to not see other people and went ahead and did it anyways you broke the rules of the agreement ? You’re either stupid or playing stupid I can’t tell which one it is.
The first post at relationship_advise where the comments don’t scream „leave/divorce him/her now!“
She isn't giving mixed signals. Why would you take a third parties opinion over her actins. Reach out to her. Your friend sounds jealous.
No this has been the only thing. I’ve never screwed up like this ever before. I don’t even know what I was thinking. There’s no excuse for it. She even said that I’ve been an amazing boyfriend and this happens. She said that just because of all the good I’ve done, doesn’t excuse this problem. I have a huge thing planned for her. I told her I have 3 phases of ways I’m going to get her back to just try and be cute and show her that I am very sorry. Phase 1 was a poem I wrote for her, which I sent. Phase 2 is tomorrow when we see each other I have a huge day planned, I have a night out of mini putt and bowling which I asked them to play music from the concert we were supposed to see (we didn’t go because she was so upset from me) and then I’m taking her out for dinner then I’m taking her to have some time out in this park. I also made 8 notes why I really like her and why she is amazing, along with a picture of a rose I drew which I’m going to place when I have a chance, either at night when she tells me to leave or if things go well and I spend the night, I’ll set them up in the morning. A trail of little letters with rose pedals leading to this picture of a rose. Phase 3 is I’m taking her on a trip.
Unless you want this to be your life, probably with kida added to the equation sooner or later, you gotta run.
From what you're describing it sounds like early stages of trying to manipulate you into staying home with him, serving him all thw time. This can leas to you going out less often and losing friends (or your supprt system). This is how people get trapped in controlling relationships or worse.
Also, not to be rude, I'm around his age and dating a 25yo is such weird concept to me. There is too much development happening between 21 and 30, imo.
She needs therapy
Yup, this marriage will not wrong unfortunately. I told my GF who tried to practice abstinence that waiting till marriage to have sex was a terrible idea because sexual compatibility is extremely important, it's one of the key pillars that maintains a healthy relationship (at least for me) and that you need to know these things long before marriage.
This is so true. I've gone my whole life meeting people who assume I'm single because of the way I look. I'm not traditionally attractive.
They are shocked to find out I'm happily married and was never single for more than a month since I was a teenager.
Guys are always looking for some way to understand the way women work. My “secret” is that I grew up with a family full of women so they don't mystify me. They are literally just people, it's not some big complicated thing.
I’m not saying you should go the extra days. I’m saying you should take the time to research and lay it all out for your girlfriend so she feels heard and that you looked into it for her.
So your gf gets SA'd and you dump her? Yeah she's better off without you. Ffs.
You would want to know. Even if it destroyed your life youd want to know because living with pain is better than living in an illusion
Wut
Even if she actually is pregnant, if you don't want to be in a relationship with her you should break up with her regardless. You can still do right by the kid (if there is one) either way.
May just have to deal with it. If she lives in a different town, she probably won’t go all the way to where you are to go clubbing
Thank you SO much for your message ??
Maybe because whatever she had with her ex wasn't working out and she knew you were getting suspicious
Love, Trust and honesty are the foundation of a relationship
She has difficulty telling the truth. But most likely we cant convince you to make the smart choice so I will say this. Tell her this is her one fuck up. If she ever lies about anything or hides anything ever again you are over. If she tells you about things you will try and work through them but a lie is the end period.
He doesn’t disappear ? it’s hot to give opinions when you don’t know exactly everything! But I do appreciate your advice thank you
Do it just like they do in the porns you watch..For sure to work, all that stuff is based on real life so it is sure to transfer over..
Girl tell him you went today and he must've just not seen you leave. He's taking the piss out of you, he's freeloading and taking advantage of you, he knows he has to buy groceries and just doesn't want to go.
Kick him out and see how much he enjoys having to actually fend for himself, see if he can convince his landlord he laid last time so he doesn't need to now.
Nobody deserves to be stuck w a hobosexual
This entire comment section and post is insane. She accused her (ex) boyfriend of being abusive based off something that someone else said about him and even when he denied it ever happened, she insisted it was true. The mother has admitted that what she said was false. I said she didn’t need to stay with him as this dynamic is toxic and dealing with narcissistic parents is difficult.
We don’t know if he is on the lease, OP has not said if he is, just that he “lives with” her. Even if he isn’t on the lease, if he has lived there for 30 days he has tenants rights and still can’t just be kicked out. I don’t understand how he is being toxic. Because he wants to act like things are back to normal? That’s not a healthy way to deal with confrontation, but it doesn’t sounds like he’s being given much space to talk about this stuff.
Yes, if you are careful cats won’t escape. But they do and they can because they’re SMART. I have two cats and have had indoor cats my whole life. I wholeheartedly understand their behavior. They can escape even if they’ve never done it before. Maybe he wasn’t as careful as he should be, but that doesn’t mean he picked the cat up and put it outside all night intentionally. That’s ridiculous.
I’m don’t arguing this point. OP sucks for her actions. Period.
Porque no los dos?
He doesn't want you anymore.
Sad, but true.
My sister had another baby to give her son a sibling/ friend because she didn't want him to be an only child. Bam! Twins! And her eldest hates them and they do not get on.
Having a sibling isn't always the sunshine and roses you think it will be.
Said sister and I did not get on throughout our whole childhood, we were, and still are completely different people. We get on now but only on small doses, our personality differences tend to rear their ugly heads after about 3 days and we then retreat back to our different lives until we next see each other
I think your husband's fears are warranted as he is worked about you, the baby and your family dynamic. He actually sounds like he had ppd and maybe still is suffering a bit.
The other thing that you haven't considered is once you have another baby, your firstborn ceases to be a baby and then has to be a 'big girl' and a 'big sister' and she loses that time as the baby. She has to fast forward past all the growing up milestones because there is another baby in the house that needs mum and dad's attention. Don't discount this loss of baby time when thinking of having 2 close together
Who care about the sexual stuff. You have emotional intimacy and this would be considered an emotional affair to most people.
Nah man, you’re normal. The majority of men finish faster then they’d like. It’s why there is an enormous market for products that delay the male orgasm. Why there are thousands of jokes about it from movies/tv/comedians etc. If you figure out how to last longer, let me know!
I don't know how to tell the difference anymore, at one moment it's like she's being selfish and the other times it's my guilt taking over. It's a constant tug-of-war between my thoughts of her selfishness and my guilt.
Chuck E. Cheese >:(((
Yea that was a controlling relationship and the opposite of what I want. My overthinking now is a result of not having someone up my ass 24/7 and unlearning unhealthy expressions of “love”. Luckily the new boyfriend was a friend before and knows everything about the ex so is super understanding.