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Which didn’t happen. I have said that i felt like a booty call and ofc he was: I JUST WANTED TO SEE U
It could be lack of experience, like none at all, past trauma, very strict religious education. He could also be asexual.
It seems like sex is important to you. You have to also mentally prepare for the fact that it may not be for him. And thus think about what it means sex drive wise.
Only way to know for sure is to have a direct conversation. Don't try to “open him up” by mentioning things without really talking about the issue. He's told you that it is inappropriate to tlk about sex. If you are willing to have sex, you must be willing to talk to your partner.
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Party life and sleeping around woohoo enjoy life. Jokes
Thanks, I did think of that. But the problem is, I know that me telling her that I don't like thinking about her previous experiences won't change anything. Like, it's not her fault, and there's nothing she can change about it anyway.
Also, I can't help but feel that showing my insecurity about the dom/sub thing will just make me feel worse, since insecurity isn't exactly the most attractive trait. If I at least present as though I am confident in it, it might help. Everyone know that confidence is attractive so I don't want to do the opposite
Maybe I should just lean into it more heavily and see how things go?
Personally it sounds more likely that OP was actually playing the part of the jealous girlfriend, judging by the defensiveness of bf (feeling forced to show her his phone, even calling up the coworker). Sounds like there are some things missing from this story.
“That kind of “shit test” is a shit test. What possible good can come from pulling that.”
I'm pretty sure her therapist suggested she do that. not 100% sure, but she did it the day after talking to her, and said it after talking about her conversation with her therapist. I feel like it would have been asked earlier if it wasn't the therapists idea. We've questioned each others therapists before. Mine straight up told me many times “dude, you gotta quit drinking or shes going to leave you”, and i simply couldn't/wouldn't stop until i pulled a move my estranged dad would have pulled (the black out when being relied on for something). I expected her therapist to reason with her about working to move forward, not backwards. i didn't expect blind forgiveness, and knew it would take time and effort, but i'm not getting any effort from her, and its been 6 months of icy cold shoulders, and “I DON'T KNOW's”, her minimalizing my recovery efforts, etc. whatever her therapist is telling her to do isn't working unless she is just plain ignoring the advise because she doesn't want to hear it. Like i said, shes stubborn and proud…of what i'm not really sure.
either way, if it was her therapists idea, we're FUCKED!
People amaze me with their stupidity. Imagine thinking you want to see your gf bang another dude.
Unless you're long in the tooth swingers or a psychological basket case then it's not going to end well.
On one hand, it’s possible that he had wanted to leave for a long time and it coincided with her getting sick. At the end of the day, it’s never going to be “good timing” to leave someone.
On the other hand, he LIED about this. The fact that he lied makes me 100% believe her side of the story.
She was honest about her drive because she knows this is probably a deal breaker for most.
It's early in the relationship. If this isn't what you want it's time to move on.
General advice: while you may like to solve an issue right there and then, not everyone operates like that and so your reaction to people dealing with conflict (differently than you) should not be getting angry and talking out of anger.
Tbh …. a really big parameter for me when dating is “how does he act when angry at others and how does he act when he's angry with me”. If my brother told me that you behaved the way that you did, I wouldn't like you either for my brother
I say that all to say that you need to work on your conflict resolution and dealing with anger. Saying things hurtful out of an anger is a no no.
Also, I understand that it sucks. A lot of times families only hear the bad things about someone's significant other and so they're not really given the chance.
In your case I think you need to decide whether he can go without venting to his family (create boundaries)
Or decide how important it is for your relationship that his family like you.
To recap:
Clean your own house, work on you. Create boundaries
Imagine being fluent in less than 1 language
Thank you! Yes, I like to think he would do that. I know I would.
she’s moving too fast lol. not a red flag but u need to be honest that you’re not ready to marry her and want to be w/ someone for atleast a year before making a promise of sorts, after living together
Sometimes it does feel nuts over a seemingly small thing. But it's kind of the loneliness now which is eating away at me.
Financially she haf a house when we met and when we got together I happily put all the money I had into her mortgage. That was another reason I didn't leave – I had no money in my name after that. We have always earned roughly the same salary and had joint accounts so bills are equal. I also spend most weekends on house maintenance and reno's because I don't have a social life.
Yes, her side would no doubt be a different story, but I can only give you mine.
Ur assuming. His post suggests it was brought to her attention by someone else.
So what? Might be an uncomfortable truth, but almost all men watch it. Not a big deal, tho he probably could be more discreet.
This age gap is ridiculous. You're a decade and a half older than her. Stop thinking with your little head, dude. This is so sad.
She just sabotaged the rest of your life. Cut her off.
Definitely break up worthy. Get it done.
Biological Mother, Best Man, or a Bowel Movement
All valid concerns!
Thank you so much!! I will check this, it might be the case actually