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Jack, 22 y.o.
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Saying that she has a BF is not a good strategy. Men will then say “then let me be your dirty secret” or “I'll show you such a good time you'll break up with him pronto”.
But most of all, I don't like your attitude. Like, she's not going to give them the time of day because she's already taken? Like, you have ownership? That's not how it works. Your GF is free to dump you and go out with another guy any time she likes.
With your owner attitude, that might happen sooner than you'd hope.
Take the key back.
cold blooded. I love it.
Some people are more emotionally sheltered than others. Most women aren’t to full maturity until 25-27.
Yeah, she knew her involvement with this guy was wrong, but she was still susceptible to emotional pressure and manipulation. What if she hadn’t at least humored him, would he have removed his financial support from her grandmother while she was dying?
The power dynamic here is too close to abuse for my comfort and you keep trying to say that she could have walked away at any time. She might have, but her grandmother probably couldn’t. And sometimes we make bad decisions when our families need us.
I remember being 23. My stupid decision was to date a co-worker. Lesson learned, moved on, grew up. This is exactly when she is learning and making mistakes. That is also why predator like this guy aim for women under 25.
They are much more vulnerable and people like you have decided that they aren’t children anymore so they don’t deserve even the consideration of not being an asshole over the internet. She is the one living her life and we can’t know what kind of struggles she has faced.
We don’t know how he has been manipulating her, but we can see that she was a vulnerable young woman who had little to no support system and certainly no one to tell her to get the f away from this guy.
I will never ever figure out how Reddit decides who to empathize with. This behavior from the girlfriend is well into breakup territory. At 8 months and age 28. this is way too much to deal with. The girlfriend can take all the time she wants to heal when she’s single.
Generally when people ask for advice, it’s in the form of a question. What exactly is the issue you want advice on? There are several things brought up here. Like do you wanna know what the ring shopping bit was about? Do you wanna know if you should try dating other people? Do you want advice on your or his behavior? What?
Ok well may help to have a little piano/keyboard around to test this
?I will provide a summary of how things end up, down the road, and then we can see how things really turned out. It’s only been 2 days since the confession so still very fresh
I've worked with Love Is Respect and they do a stellar job with helping young people understand abuse.
On intervention they talk about rock bottom being death. They encourage ppl to cut them off to raise the bottom so they get help n want to make change.
How does your wife feel about this and have you ever thought about having a wife meet her
There is no way for us to know that, we don’t know her or how she is feeling. She has also asked for space which means leave her alone. Any overtures trying to mend things will be a violation of her asking you for space. You can’t unsay what you said or undo what you did. She may never take you back. Don’t try to fix yourself for her, fix yourself for you so you don’t ever end up in this situation again.
I just find it funny that someone who was purposefully cruel is here looking for others to hand hold and be kind. Majority of your post is about how you feel and how she could put you out of your misery easily but you straight up do not deserve that. Sit with the pain and the icky feelings, they are the consequences of your actions. You do not deserve for her to come in and make things all better.
Ask him to get a brain transplant.
And buy a house with her lol OP is really fucking stupid, sorry OP!
You’re both way too old for this kind of nonsense. He’s a cheater who can’t be bothered to cover his tracks or even come up with a vaguely believable lie. Keep packing and don’t waste time ‘talking it out’. He’s not an honest person or even a marginally intelligent one.
Welp, I'm here for the update.
They are not going to be partners, at all! A mediator from the court will work out a shared custody schedule. The parents won't need much in the way of contact. There are apps for parents to communicate kid basics. Even the hand off can be at neutral location through a social worker. They literally don't need to have a relationship to do 50 50. Being a single parent 24/7 is very hard! I did it. This is not in a child's best interest if there are options.
Telling a man to just give up and not be a father because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with his baby's mom is bad advice. Saying a baby is better off solely with a woman who refuses to co parent with an ex is also bad advice. This guy wants to love and raise his child. That is a good thing! It is possible to make a baby with the wrong person. Possible to find out too late that a partnership isn't in the cards.
Oral sex isn't sex. It's just a blow job. As I said it's up to you to come clean about it if you want to. You were not in a relationship with her at the time so I wonder what's the big fuss here.
I agree, a conversation outlining exactly how OP feels and that she's just been through earth-shattering trauma and spelling out that if hubby wants kids he's got to be a mature partner and put his family first, which includes OP, she's not just a bangmaid/vessel for his future children.
My partner has said some weird stuff in the past and I've addressed it each time by talking with him. He used to make fun of stuff that I did that was important to me, I told him not to, he stopped. Nobody's perfect and communication is important. Some people really need things spelled out to them.
Similarly my partner wanted our daughter to study science while she was drawn to the arts. Once I'd explained what would happen if he put his foot down, he understood and has been very supportive of her career choices ever since.
Have the two of you gotten physical? Have you gone on dates? Have you discussed what each of you are looking for?
I am sorry he doesn't feel the day that celebrates YOU is not worth taking a day for.
I know how hurtful it is when the one person you want to feel special to is not there for you.
I would make sure after this he understands how you feel. Maybe it didn't occur to him. We can all be thoughtless at times.
Happy Birthday! ??? Good luck
File for divorce!
Sleep in separate rooms, and don't do things together. Take son and do things out of the home without her.
First of all, talk to him and explain to him how you feel when you’re having an anxiety attack and why you say certain things. Then encourage him to do some research on how to handle you during your attacks but also let him know what you think works for you during those attacks i.e what can he say, how can he touch/hold you to make you feel better, when can he speak and when can he not and so on. If he still is not willing to do any of these things after you’ve explained it to him and continues to not handle you well, maybe consider letting him go? If you’re both stressed and fight like this whenever that happens it’ll eventually put a strain in your relationship which might end in a break up either way.
She’s cheating on you bro. She’s getting dicked down by the entire friend group. You deserve better.
You didn't 'work through' anything. He molified you, married you, and warped your mind to think its normal to be talking about porn with another woman. When you start questioning these things and are made out to be over reacting you are being controlled. He wanrs you to shut up and stop pestering him whilst he has his fun. And its accepted at this point because you have allowed him to get away with it time and time again. He must think you are an absolute doormat.
So, basically you're asking if you should be worried because a known cheater is being shady?
My dude. Girl is flat out telling you directly to your face that she has no self-control and has no plans on trying to develop any.