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I mean, you're both consenting adults, so yes. But also idunno, older guys and younger girls and that whole kind of dynamic skeeves me a bit, personally. But then there's a whole world of kinks and other stuff like findom etc. that I don't quite get but are maybe ultimately harmless. And it's not like I'm some perfect angel who gets to judge anyway. So, I guess maybe?
How long have you been together? If it's like, several months, and this is an unplanned pregnancy, I get where you're coming from. If not…
You're going to be tied to this girl forever, regardless, through your child. That's not reason enough to get married… but surely there are other reasons? You love this girl, she's having your kid, and she's going to be in your life—in some capacity—forever, already.
In her shoes, if that still wasn't enough for my partner to want to marry me, I would be rethinking the relationship.
You could just drop both of them and find a normal person to date
Me too. That teen needs someone in her corner. Her mom clearly isn’t and OP is just creepy.
I (F) am careful what I wear in-front of others (minus my husband). Friends or family, I err on the side of caution. So usually it’s leggings and a slightly baggy T-shirt. Which also happens to be my work attire since I’m remote.
You are simping for your ex wife, and not very many women are going to be ok with it.
You aren't completely separated from your ex and that's not right for the girl you entered a relationship with.
First get away from him then break up and cut all ties if possible
Don’t apologize to us kiddo! You do what you need to do to put this whole thing behind you. Good luck!
Listen here OP: You don't know whether or not someone is a cheater before they cheat. This is the people you trust the most that betray you. I just so happens, that the moment children comes in the picture, for men, their life can become a hundred times worse in an instant. It's something you can never relate to, its not a power a man can have over you. You know if a child is yours, he doesnt. You can't be betrayed to that extend. Truth is, in almost all places on planet earth, if this child is not his, theoretically, he can do nothing. He is forced, to pay his cheater for a child that is not his for the rest of his life. Many people will also shame and hate him, if he'll see the child in a slightly different way, or not be an active part of said childs life. His feelings will as always be ignored, his life negated into a resource. If you cannot understand why men would under all logical circumstances protect themself from what literally causes suicides left and right, if you have to see it as some sort of challenge or insult, instead of a chance to dispel his extremely justified fears, then you're either selfish, or your fear something will be discovered. Go on, downvote me. Act like this isnt literally something many people would rather die than experience, myself included.
I’m glad it worked out this time, OP. Please come back here for help and support the next time he does something you think is shitty. If this is gonna be a cyclical thing, then maybe this sub can help you break it before it starts. Good luck!?
5% is an entire down payment for some people girl ? are you prepared to never get it back?
But yes looking forward to the update!! Stand your grand and I’d ask for a repayment plan from him and reassurance he isn’t using you!
I make more than my husband and pay more into my household but go off.
Even with no contact I’ll leave her lunch and flowers by her door at work before she arrives
Don't do this anymore. It might sound like a sweet gesture, but it isn't when someone has broken up with you and you're continuing to disrespect their boundaries. You could get yourself into legal trouble by doing this.
I'm sorry for what you are going through. Breakups are really hot. However, you're going to have to respect her wishes for no contact and stop trying to get her to change her mind. Focus on yourself and moving forward.
Depending on his salary mortgage debt is fine. Infact calculate the home value vs the debt and chances are the house is netting him money and not costing him money.
If he is doing well financially why can't he pay off the 5k in credit card debt today?
He can/should sell the car if he has the credit card debt.
The student loans….frankly that is probably the norm in this day and age, plus if it's forgiven then great.
You have not mentioned his income. But that piece of information could make or break this assessment.
Anyway, if he has an improved mindset and is working on eliminating his debt then the debt shouldn't be a reason not to pursue him. If he is not working on his debt then that may be a consideration for your sister.
In summary, His Financials don't sound problematic at this point.
These words means a lot…truly thankful form the core
Been there, done that. I stuck around waaaaaayyy too long and it destroyed me financially and mentally. I lost my social circle. While i have my life and finances under control now, i still struggle with the damage that relationship did to me mentally.
Do not move in with her.
Do not meet when she is drunk, walk away when you notice she is not sober.
Do not give her money or rides. Ever. She fell asleep in a bush in the middle of town at 3 am? Not your problem.
Don't believe anything she says when drunk or sober. Addicts will lie. Also no point in arguing when she's sloshed.
Turn off your phone and do not respond to messages when she is drunk/drinking.
Do not feel responsible for her safety when she puts herself in danger.
Do not mother her. She sleeps through her alarms and looses her job? Not your problem. She wants to blame someone for that? Tell her to blame the asshole looking at her in the mirror.
Don't make excuses for her.
Pro-tip: Leave. You can't help her and you will only enable her and destroy yourself in the process.