My [27F] partner [42M] met me in a bar when I was 20 and drunk. I asked him why. He says I’m calling him a groomer. How can we discuss this fairly?

I met my partner when I was 20, he was in his 30s and married. He approached me when I was alone in a bar, semi-drunk and sad. We hooked up after. It took him a few weeks to tell me he’s married.

Seven years later we are still together. I love him very much. He is even on good terms with his ex.

I asked my partner about why he approached me that night in the bar whilst married and what made him approach someone that much younger. At first he answered my questions then got bothered because he said I’m accusing him of grooming. Now I have ruined Valentine’s Day.

How can we discuss this fairly now that I’m older? Knowing what I know now I wouldn’t date an older man like this if I could go back in time. But we are happy now but I want to be able to discuss this with him. How?