Okay, I agree that if I go forward with it I will tell him that it’s my first time. I can’t imagine not explaining that. Also, yoni? Do you watch Too Very hot to Handle, too?
You do not have to leave your space but I support like spending an hour in the weight room/ gaming room while she has someone over, you can check in once in a while.
it does sound odd unless you have told her she's not aloud to go out with friends alone because that would be a reason why she phrased it this way? Trusting you are not the bad guy OP ?
You’re married, but you’re the third wheel. They’re together apart from you and they’re having a baby. I’m sorry to say it, but this relationship – yours – is over. They need you if he’s not working, but they aren’t valuing you and you aren’t their partner.
Please don’t use your kids as the reason to keep yourself unhappy. They don’t deserve to have a mom who is miserable and meeting partners is really not that traumatic
I know a lot of women whose partners have done things like this. Mine did. Another’s even posted a video of physical cheating on snapchat (she fell for the lovebombing and is still with him). Plenty have been abused and some even strangled. I started having students open up to me, and apparently sexual violence is very normal now, too. These don’t seem far fetched at all as I know plenty of IRL stories that are similar or worse. This is a mild story compared to many
I am your wife in my relationship and my boyfriend is you, except I know I do not want kids and he isn’t sure yet. The difference is that we refuse to get married unless he makes a decision. You 100% needed to make a decision before you got married and if you were willing to take that risk of getting married without a decision, which you did, then you needed to be okay with not having kids because that will always be the default – you can’t force her to want them just because you do. And she is trying to tell you that she does not want them.
• Opinions on how I handled it. What would you have done in my shoes? • Half my friends insist I will eventually speak with her, and potentially consider getting back with her. The other half of my friends insist on the opposite. That I should ride out the restraining order of no contact and let it naturally separate. What would you do in my shoes, and why? • In a relationship that is 99% of the time the absolute best relationship I could ever have, where 1% (a few hours on two occasions over 2.5 years) it is literally dangerous… does anyone have any experience with sticking with someone and them changing themselves? • What did this situation look like? • Did it just occur less and less? • Did they fall in and out of it over years with highs and lows never really getting better? • Did they say they’d fix it, get counseling, improve, and then have a bigger blow outs?
I think you should have left her the first time she hit you. You almost went to jail, man. That’s not something to chuckle off.
Do not accept this person back into your life, not as a friend, not as a girlfriend.
Abusive relationships always escalate. If you stay with someone who is willing to hurt you, they will get comfortable with the idea that they can hurt you without consequence. They do not improve. It is a fundamental flaw.
“But my thing is when I set the boundary, why didn’t he speak up. “
“my bf said my boundary was “weak” and that I didn’t give him enough time between valentine’s day and when I saw him next. “
“Any advice on how to handle this situation.”
Maybe next time someone is trying to destroy your bf's relationship, decide that person is toxic and don't force your bf to hang out with someone who wants to destroy your bf's relationship right after the fact.
I mean, relationships work when there is communication, but if you're only going to hear your boyfriend instead of listening to him, I don't think there is advice offered that will be considered. After all, he told you all of this(many would agree with his conclusion) and yet you're confused at what to do.
A stronger boundary would be to cut off toxic people from your life instead of forcing your boyfriend to hang out with someone who is actively trying to fuck his girlfriend.
If you're considering giving him a free pass to open things up on his end, you may be past last resorts. I'm not sure I could stay with someone who, essentially, said, 'monogamy was fine when people died at 40 but we won't so let's please fuck other people so I don't get bored of you.'
You deserve to be loved by someone who would never ask this of you and so flagrantly compromise the life you've built together.
That way you see 19yos now I imagine would be similar to how OP currently sees ~14yos.
So OP, if you couldn't see yourself dating a 14yo, then he shouldn't see himself dating you.
I'm 25 now and the amount of growing I've done between 19 and 25 (which includes a marriage and 2 kids) is astronomical. I barely recognise my 19yo self.
Even at my still relatively young age I couldn't see myself dating a 19yo, let alone in another 6 years time.
Oh I’m fully aware of his “I’m just asking an innocent question” shenanigans. I’ve been glad to take a little time to tell him about his bs. I think my work is done now though ?
Ok I take it back, John sounds like a raging narcisistic arsehole. Ask your GF how she would feel if you emulated his behaviour, would that suddenly be unacceptable, if so why does he get away with it.
This is awful advice. He shouldn’t have to accept this form of toxic and controlling behaviour from his gf. His gf should instead trust in him and work on addressing her insecurities. What’s she is displaying isn’t conducive to maintaining a healthy relationship and she’s acting quite irrationally, blocking this person on IG will not get rid of this problem
Have you tried framing the issue as a health related one, and not about physical attraction? There's a lot of health problems (mental and physical) that are caused by obesity, and ideally her doctor should be discussing this with the two of you..
Each to their own I guess. Whatever makes someone happy at the end of the day, I do whatever I can to make my life bearable so why would I begrudge someone doing the same?
Yeah, I wouldn’t move forward with a man that blows up that easily. I wouldn’t want to live in constant fear that he will blow up at anything I do or so. Funk all that. I like a chill environment.
Once again, another boyfriend blaming their own problems onto their partner.
I am sure that this not an issue of yours and I think he knows it and is making you feel bad and doing all the work to fix his own problem.
Please don't feel guilty – you haven't done anything wrong and you aren't the problem here. If you want to lose some weight and do the kegel exercises, go for it – do it for you, not him.
He 100% gay.
Are you under the impression that some random american speaks for the entire world? Man you guys really are stuck in your own bubble lol.
This is the internet, not the US sweety
God thats a lot of words. I'll skip the reading part and get straight to:
Its been 6 months and she keeps accusing you of cheating?!! Why are you still with her? Wtf, this sounds like way too much drama.
Lol reminds me of skyrim grandma.
9 months
Okay, I agree that if I go forward with it I will tell him that it’s my first time. I can’t imagine not explaining that. Also, yoni? Do you watch Too Very hot to Handle, too?
You do not have to leave your space but I support like spending an hour in the weight room/ gaming room while she has someone over, you can check in once in a while.
it does sound odd unless you have told her she's not aloud to go out with friends alone because that would be a reason why she phrased it this way? Trusting you are not the bad guy OP ?
You’re married, but you’re the third wheel. They’re together apart from you and they’re having a baby. I’m sorry to say it, but this relationship – yours – is over. They need you if he’s not working, but they aren’t valuing you and you aren’t their partner.
Please don’t use your kids as the reason to keep yourself unhappy. They don’t deserve to have a mom who is miserable and meeting partners is really not that traumatic
I know a lot of women whose partners have done things like this. Mine did. Another’s even posted a video of physical cheating on snapchat (she fell for the lovebombing and is still with him). Plenty have been abused and some even strangled. I started having students open up to me, and apparently sexual violence is very normal now, too. These don’t seem far fetched at all as I know plenty of IRL stories that are similar or worse. This is a mild story compared to many
I need to unfollow this sub
I am your wife in my relationship and my boyfriend is you, except I know I do not want kids and he isn’t sure yet. The difference is that we refuse to get married unless he makes a decision. You 100% needed to make a decision before you got married and if you were willing to take that risk of getting married without a decision, which you did, then you needed to be okay with not having kids because that will always be the default – you can’t force her to want them just because you do. And she is trying to tell you that she does not want them.
• Opinions on how I handled it. What would you have done in my shoes? • Half my friends insist I will eventually speak with her, and potentially consider getting back with her. The other half of my friends insist on the opposite. That I should ride out the restraining order of no contact and let it naturally separate. What would you do in my shoes, and why? • In a relationship that is 99% of the time the absolute best relationship I could ever have, where 1% (a few hours on two occasions over 2.5 years) it is literally dangerous… does anyone have any experience with sticking with someone and them changing themselves? • What did this situation look like? • Did it just occur less and less? • Did they fall in and out of it over years with highs and lows never really getting better? • Did they say they’d fix it, get counseling, improve, and then have a bigger blow outs?
I think you should have left her the first time she hit you. You almost went to jail, man. That’s not something to chuckle off.
Do not accept this person back into your life, not as a friend, not as a girlfriend.
Abusive relationships always escalate. If you stay with someone who is willing to hurt you, they will get comfortable with the idea that they can hurt you without consequence. They do not improve. It is a fundamental flaw.
“But my thing is when I set the boundary, why didn’t he speak up. “
“my bf said my boundary was “weak” and that I didn’t give him enough time between valentine’s day and when I saw him next. “
“Any advice on how to handle this situation.”
Maybe next time someone is trying to destroy your bf's relationship, decide that person is toxic and don't force your bf to hang out with someone who wants to destroy your bf's relationship right after the fact.
I mean, relationships work when there is communication, but if you're only going to hear your boyfriend instead of listening to him, I don't think there is advice offered that will be considered. After all, he told you all of this(many would agree with his conclusion) and yet you're confused at what to do.
A stronger boundary would be to cut off toxic people from your life instead of forcing your boyfriend to hang out with someone who is actively trying to fuck his girlfriend.
If you're considering giving him a free pass to open things up on his end, you may be past last resorts. I'm not sure I could stay with someone who, essentially, said, 'monogamy was fine when people died at 40 but we won't so let's please fuck other people so I don't get bored of you.'
You deserve to be loved by someone who would never ask this of you and so flagrantly compromise the life you've built together.
That way you see 19yos now I imagine would be similar to how OP currently sees ~14yos.
So OP, if you couldn't see yourself dating a 14yo, then he shouldn't see himself dating you.
I'm 25 now and the amount of growing I've done between 19 and 25 (which includes a marriage and 2 kids) is astronomical. I barely recognise my 19yo self.
Even at my still relatively young age I couldn't see myself dating a 19yo, let alone in another 6 years time.
Oh I’m fully aware of his “I’m just asking an innocent question” shenanigans. I’ve been glad to take a little time to tell him about his bs. I think my work is done now though ?
I’m just hoping his girlfriend sees his post.
Nah lying in hopes of talking it out later is not a good start to a marriage
That would be a very manipulative thing to do and would be a back door way to end the relationship.
Sloppy IV use can leave blood spray and spatter. I pray that's not the case.
I cant see your comment.
Why would I do that?
Why’s it matter?
Ok I take it back, John sounds like a raging narcisistic arsehole. Ask your GF how she would feel if you emulated his behaviour, would that suddenly be unacceptable, if so why does he get away with it.
She literally wrote that he was visibly distressed and then was sobbing in the other room.
She literally wrote that he was visibly distressed and then was sobbing in the other room.
This is awful advice. He shouldn’t have to accept this form of toxic and controlling behaviour from his gf. His gf should instead trust in him and work on addressing her insecurities. What’s she is displaying isn’t conducive to maintaining a healthy relationship and she’s acting quite irrationally, blocking this person on IG will not get rid of this problem
That's true, point taken.
Definitely get tested for STIs.
Nah, don't settle. Put yourself in the Venn diagram region where you'll meet the person who's going to light it all up. Good luck, don't settle!
Have you tried framing the issue as a health related one, and not about physical attraction? There's a lot of health problems (mental and physical) that are caused by obesity, and ideally her doctor should be discussing this with the two of you..
?
Be careful it rarely works, and remember, she will get more chances than you
He never set it up and I don’t know where it is.
I know I need to grow a back bone, but like I’m the definition of non confrontational.
Each to their own I guess. Whatever makes someone happy at the end of the day, I do whatever I can to make my life bearable so why would I begrudge someone doing the same?
Yeah, I wouldn’t move forward with a man that blows up that easily. I wouldn’t want to live in constant fear that he will blow up at anything I do or so. Funk all that. I like a chill environment.
Unfair to someone else. I don’t think I could mean anything I would tell that person. Not when I have feelings for someone else.
I don’t think I feel obligated to him. I guess I just still carry feelings for him, which I’m hoping with time apart will fade away
Once again, another boyfriend blaming their own problems onto their partner.
I am sure that this not an issue of yours and I think he knows it and is making you feel bad and doing all the work to fix his own problem.
Please don't feel guilty – you haven't done anything wrong and you aren't the problem here. If you want to lose some weight and do the kegel exercises, go for it – do it for you, not him.
Silly
Sorry – to clarify, did you simply tell her you had a FWB for awhile? Or that you had a FWB and you would sometimes have sex three times a day?
Ehhhh idk, I call my baby “baby” more than his actual name. I see these other comments and I would make sure it's not malicious before assuming it is.
Yeah.