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Birth Date: 2004-06-18
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Doubt this man cares. If the first thing he did was have anal sex with his bride that isn't even used to vaginal sex apparently without her being prepared. I doubt this man sees her as anything other than a bangmaid. Why the fuck else would he have a imported bride 24years younger than him.
He's disgusting.
?? you're absolutely right! It is a really weird piece of advice; imagine being this forgiving! 'Forgive your psycho partner, and don't have them arrested because you love each other.' Please. ?
You're in an abusive relationship, but reading all your replies, you are still very much in denial about it.
Do not remove your birth control. His plan is to get you pregnant so that you are stuck to him forever. This man does not respect you. He does not respect your boundaries, and he is bit by bit working towards making you more and more dependent on him.
He will sabotage the condoms if you go off birth control.
Hey, So I charged his old phone and went through that today. Found emails from yesterday morning where he had reset his passwords for everything. So I went onto his account and changed it again. We ended up talking on the phone (he wouldn’t wait til he got home) and I told him he had to tell me the truth or I was leaving with our baby. I literally had her stuff packed and on the table and was doing my bag as well. When he got home, we sat down and at first he still denied it. I looked him in the eyes and said if he loved me, he’d tell me the truth or I’m getting our daughter and we’re leaving. He took a minute but finally admitted to it. He apologised for lying but said he didn’t want to be judged. And that he’s no bi or gay, just curious. I told him that if it happens again, I will find out and that will be it for us. We’ll be done.
I did not say divorce papers.
I said a proposed amicable settlement.
These are not at all the same things. (But as someone who hasn't divorced anyone, I could see how you could confuse these very different things.)
Divorce papers are prepared by attorneys and written in legalese. They are prepared to file with the court, and they establish the legal form of the divorce decree.
The proposed amicable settlement is a document that is primarily intended for the consumption of the couple that is seeking a divorce. It clearly lays out in an easy to read form how the property settlement and custody arrangement will take form. Once a couple agrees on a settlement, only then will divorce papers be drawn up.
This isn't springing anything on anyone. It's an honest answer to her implied question: “What would it cost me to live! a life separated from my husband?”
To make it clear… this isn't a final take it or leave it ultimatum that she has to accept or else fight in court. Instead, it would be his honest response to her ill-considered joke.
He might even come up with a creative solution that make the divorce affordable for them. It sounds like OP and his wife own a substantial home on a sizable lot. Perhaps he could propose the sale of the property with the proceeds purchasing adjacent town homes. It could possibly be a lateral move financially.
The upshot would be that OP might find a solution to her problem that makes divorce affordable for them both.
Kinda takes the steam out of her joke.
If you want to stay married to me… say that!
If you want out of the marriage… say that!
If all you want to do is tell jokes at my expense… then kindly go to hell.
I would just end it. It seems like you two were moving into a relationship but since he is telling you he is dating someone else, I would move on. Never be someone’s back up plan or second choice.
Don’t let tears fool you. The arguing about it is your takeaway.
She needs to AGREE to end it. Not argue
How did you possibly marry someone who doesn’t believe in your profession?
Im jumping on this comment because it's super important! Her life forward is of no concern to you. You need to stop checking her, because the mind works in devious ways. The better she does the worse you will. Because she betrayed you so naturally the mind thinks that this is pretty unfair.
And us humans have a tendency to take note of bad things rather than good. Meaning we become biased. Even if you have a super fun week, one bad day can ruin your whole mindset because we focus on the bad day instead of the awesome week.
Also dont let her cheating affect how you view people. It can lead to very dark places. Insecurity, jealousy and trust issues. These are not healthy issues to bring with when going in to a new relationship.
Stop looking back and start moving forward.
She sounds like she’s competing against you.
But you don’t have to be tactful if she’s being disrespectful, call her out on all those accusations.
A very nice and balanced comment, well done.
Is it normalized for girls to do this?
All genders do this. Not all members of all genders do it.
Why do you think my reaction would be in the minority?
I asked her. She do want to get married and I love her what should I
Ā boundary is like a fence between neighbours. A Rule is that your not allowed to climb over the fence.
UPDATE: I'm finally free and in therapy. I am doing really well with exercising my boundaries. Thank you, my Internet friends. I appreciate you all.
I dated a guy like this. We started dating in high school. He graduated 2 years before me, and he started trade school. We broke up, but remained best friends. We both dated others, but whenever both of us were single, we’d end up back together. I was always more invested than he was, and we eventually decided we worked better as just friends. But I always held out hope that we’d end up together. He would try and tell me who I should/shouldn’t date, because he thought he knew who was good for me better than I did. God, I pined for that guy for years. I eventually met the man that would become my husband, and he tried to tell me that I should date someone else, that he approved of. It was the last straw for me. I told him that if he didn’t want to be with me, he had no right to try and dictate my love life. I realized that he was merely trying to keep me on the hook for when he was “ready” for a serious relationship, by manipulating me into dating people that he knew would never turn into anything serious. My future husband saw right through him, and told me that if I remained friends with this guy, we were done. So I cut off that guy completely. It made me realize that I was never good enough for him, he was always afraid that someone better was out there, and if he was with me, he’d miss out. 20 years later, that guy messaged me that I was “the one that got away”. Boo Hoo. I’ve been married to my husband for 38 years now, have 3 grown daughters and 3 grandchildren. He’s been married 3 times, with 2 children by different mothers. Looks like he hasn’t changed much.
Why don't you and your kids all take her last name? Or just let the kids have the same last name as her? Women aren't considered property anymore so it doesn't matter who takes the other partner's name these days. As for the kids, she's risking her life during pregnancy and childbirth, you contribute an orgasm, so maybe just let the kids have her name if you're unwilling to hyphenate.