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Call her bluff. I told my wife that I take marriage and the mention of divorce very seriously. If she threatens it, I'm gone. No conversations about it. I'm gone. That's game playing intended to manipulate the situation. If she's really that unhappy, get her some moving boxes.
Run. For the hills. And don't ever look back
Same. Insane that this and other similar comments aren’t at the very top
Yes you messed up and owned up to it, but she taking this revenge and running with it, honestly think at this point she just using you so she doesn't have to work while getting her guts rearranged by some other guy, she proved that night you do not come first.
So I'd say she is disgusting
Yes! This is what I came to say. I think it’s less about the trip itself, and more about having to deal with the kids and household by himself. It’s harder to admit that though because it makes him look shitty.
You don’t need his permission to do fun solo stuff. He gets to, you should get to. Plan a trip, inform him of it, and if he pushes back then explain how he’s being unreasonable. If you want to be magnanimous, you can offer to help arrange periods of childcare with other family while you’re gone to give him breaks.
!UpdateMe
“I should have just done it to avoid the argument”
Do you want this for the rest of your life? Because it sounds miserable.
Could you please use paragraphs next time? So you think everyone is ganging up on you? You’re in a senior level finance class. What are you disagreeing over in a finance class? Whether to use CAPM or payback period? What would be an example of a disagreement?
Can you at least get him to do his yearly blood work.
I’ve been on this subreddit before explaining my marriage problems before and the reactions have always said he seems abusive and basically to end it.
Okay, so what exactly is your question? How to tell your husband you want a divorce? Tell him you want a divorce.
I think there's a huge misconception where many people think this “naturally” will happen in any long term relationship, and as such that you should deal with it as a result.
What far too many people fail too realize is that context is everything. Will the “spark” decrease in a relationship over time in many situations? Absolutely. The problem is a misunderstanding of what that means.
To me, reigniting the spark means reminding each other why you fell in love to begin with, and working as a team to do so. It also means acknowledging reality. In saying that, let me use two examples, but before that, we need to acknowledge that generally speaking we almost always wear rose colored glasses in the beginning of every situation which might blind us from recognizing red flags. It's all sunshine and rainbows. An awesome feeling, but one that doesn't last sometimes when reality hits.
So for the first situation, which tying back to the second paragraph is unfortunately largely the case, one or both parties recognize that they're incompatible early on but force things forward regardless. Why? Largely because of inexperience. We assume things will just magically get better over time. Then, despite all evidence presented as things continue, we still want to hope for the best. It largely ends in people ending up hurt.
For the second situation, during the dating process the individuals learned after each date and over time that things are objectively good. They are in fact compatible. Their relationship progresses as it naturally should and big relationship steps are taken. As often happens, things get stagnant as things become comfortable. Here's where the line between healthy and unhealthy relationships exists.
The healthy relationship will realize things have become stagnant and like I said earlier, will work to bring the spark back. But the healthy relationship also doesn't have fundamental incompatibilities. Those can't be fixed. That's where the misconception is with the “no relationship is perfect” argument.” No relationship is perfect, that's the truth. But there are relationships that are objectively bad.
After this long winded essay, you laid out fundamental incompatibilities. You broke up as a result. Love isn't enough. As things have gone on, you haven't lost passion because this is what “naturally happens over time.” You've lost passion because you've been presented evidence in the past, and even though changes have been made, you're skeptical because of what you know. It's not about “flame.”
No one wants their exes to get with other people. That's not why you make life decisions.
This is an extremely pivotal point in the relationship.
If your girlfriend has any respect for you then she will never, ever talk to that man again after what he did.
If she does talk to him again, then you have your answer as to what you should do.
The audacity to break up with someone and then be “devastated” when he moves on in life.
same!
If he believes a person shouldn't have sex before marriage but he gives himself permission to have sex before marriage, he has ZERO INTEGRITY. Stop having sex with him immediately. See how long he calls himself “pro life.”
I think I know this intuitively but my god am I just not ready to completely emotionally destroy the person I love (and also myself). I can't see her for another 2 months so I would have to do it over the phone…
I may get downvoted for this comment but …
I find it a bit disheartening that this sub seems to bash on people who wants an expensive engagement ring. Just like there’s nothing wrong with wanting a simple ring, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting an expensive one.
In saying that, the problem here isn’t about the ring. It’s about your very different views to money and finance shaped by different individual upbringing. While it isn’t very romantic, finance is such a huge part of life and you both really need to be on the same page regarding expectations for managing and spending money. Please have a very earnest and frank talk with your fiancé. You need to have this sorted out before you tie yourself to someone socially and LEGALLY. Unfortunately, in the real world, sometimes love isn’t enough. Fundamental values and compatibility are just as important for a successful relationship.
Best of luck OP!
Just let the man get the occasional tug. It's all good.