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cum play with my new toy [Goal Race]
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cum play with my new toy [Goal Race]
There's is someone else my man.
Yeah that's why she's so calm about the whole thing.
If you’re scared to ask him to contribute to groceries, this might be worse than being used. Look up “financial abuse”.
I advise you to explore why it takes random strangers on the internet to convince you that what your wife is telling you about her health is true. It's really weird you didn't just believe her.
How did you know he got on tinder and hinge? I would assume in order to know that you were also on these hook up apps.
I hate to hear you are having difficult time and going through this. It may come to an end but that isn't your fault. Not everyone can handle someone with crippling anxiety. I have been with a woman that was the same way. she would get anxious and spiral into anger and depression. she was emotionally draining and because she couldn't hold a job she was financially draining.
My advice if you aren't already get on some medicine for your anxiety. your mental health is important. while he is doing his thing find a few apartments to choose from to show him you are serious about moving.
Reality is harsh! But thank you!
I am not a doctor, but the fact that you recently began struggling with basic tasks and critical thinking skills leads me to believe that you need an appointment with a neurologist. Coincidentally, a neurologist is exactly who you would see for ASD testing. So, two birds one stone
It is her job to maintain her appearance like how she looked like when they met…it looks like over the 5 years she got comfortable in the relationship and started to put on weight and not care about appearance.
I'm doing what?
They could've said it nicely but girl if you want to keep this relationship you should find yourself some hobbies and stop being so clingy
first mistake is that you're somewhat comparing her to your exes. never do that. not everyone is the same.
if your girlfriend is a virgin, how do you know that she wasn't SA'd in the past? have you tried talking to her about what specifically terrifies her?
Oh my fod, what a discovery. Run, boy, run. Big red flag, a gigantic one.
How dares she.
Things you should do? Well, issue an ultimatum to get rid of all gifts from any males or break up, obviously.
Jeez, the audacity she had to keep a gift from someone she haven't even dated.
/s
I think breaking that privacy creates mistrust. It's not about blind trust. If somebody has never given you course to mistrust then it's a personal issue and not a relationship issue.
We have talked, its not about trust. She was simply ceriouse about what I was posting. She also don't really use reddit so it was probably just as much becouse she wanted to see how I use it.
Or … She could communicate with her partner so that they can discuss the issue rather than just hoping that he figures out what's going on before he becomes resentful.
So, sounds like you two had a “good talk”. Your girlfriend is right. Don't ever look down on yourself! Apply yourself and be a go getter. Most women likes a guy who is not afraid of risks and pursue things. So what if you fail? At least your tried. Some things you have to keep trying! Just remember that failures are stepping stones to success. Many famous and great men historically failed to get where they're at. So don't be afraid to try and fail, learn from those mistakes. That's what life is about. Never give up. Let your girlfriend know that you ARE in her league. You're a catch! If she dumps you, it's HER lost. Not yours.
“”Comment Rule 2:** Keep it civil. No insults, no threats of violence, no encouraging violence, no harassment, no trolling, no advertising other subs, no spam. You will be banned. All bans in this sub are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
Women never really lesbo, they love the D
Heard it quite a few times still would never sleep with a dude in any case.
she’s becoming a full person with her own life
The thing is, when you're married, you share your lives, there is no “I” in team.
If that’s truly the reason, why would pussyfooting around the issue be more effective than just telling him that it’s extremely hurtful and to cut it out?
You guys need to have a conversation about this, go to where he is and force it. You ever think your gf might be treating you the way she does because you're so soft? You stayed after she fucked someone else, she knows you're weak and easy to manipulate, and won't ever stand up for yourself.
You need to be single for a while so you can work on your self-esteem.
Cheating aside I would absolutely want to know that the man I'm about to marry is the kind of person to pay for sex with a probably sex trafficked or otherwise deeply traumatized and desperate woman.
K
Good. You both need to sit down and have an adult conversation about the fighting. No one wants to bring a child into the world and the parents scream at each other. Just tell her you’ll be there and will be the best dad you can be, but you don’t want to argue anymore.
10 years? I applaud your optimism
I wish it was that easy I'm out of work atm because of my legband still suffering with anxiety and night terrors because of my ex. I don't have funds to do anything x
A quote from some random person on-line years ago: “It sounds like y’all are reading the same book, y’all just aren’t on the same chapter just yet.”
Yes, telling him to do something that will end the relationship is legitimate relationship advice. I can’t tell if you’re a troll or obtuse.
stop answering his calls stop letting him back in the apt OR leave the apt yourself to go somewhere safer. i read in the replies that you’re not able to support yourself but the best thing is to go somewhere where you’re physically and mentally safe.
it seems like any time this guy is allowed to speak his mind or be in his personal space he’s just hurting you more so i would put yourself first and protect yourself from him. this guy doesn’t deserve you and you deserve a better life.
also even if he calls the police and uses that footage on you any sane popo could see that he’s the abuser cause he’s the one yelling in the video. he’s threatening you because he knows and is scared you would do anything cause you actually have more power and control in the situation, just not using it out of justifiable fear.
please please please i hope this exit plan goes through and you can start living a life without this abuser and abuser no longer in it. you got this girl
Tell her you know, and by the way, you are the first choice she is with you.
I didn’t ask for your opinion
I'm 31 and still trying to figure out what it means to say “I love you”. I think a lot of people say it because they watch too many romance movies.
Your bf seems backing off from u. Maybe he is stressing out due to work, financial issues, family, or something entirely different. My I advise is to give him some space. Instead of continuously nagging or making him feel worse about not giving you enough time or attention, just let him be.
Thank you, this is a huge help! I appreciate it!
Be aware of it in the future I guess.
Wtf? So instead of doing the adult thing and just breaking up with her, he punishes her like she's his child or something? Nothing about this seems normal.
You were assaulted. I hope, for your safety before he does it again or something worse (he 100% is going to do it again, I'm so sorry), you get away from him.
I cheated twice and this was when I believed we were not exclusive. But this last time was just messages and I confessed and told her.
I had to look at the ages again because this sounds like an interaction between 13 year olds
Normally I agree but nah not in this situation. That’s such weird, toxic behavior from his girlfriend that I guarantee will only get worse as they continue dating.
GET YOUR WIFE HER MEDICATION
You're not her parent, and it's not your responsibility to ensure she manages her time well. If she fails her exams and doesn't study, that's 100% on her. 0% on you. She's an adult and you shouldn't accept the responsibility of holding her accountable. She needs to hold herself accountable, or learn from the consequences of her bad decisions. By accepting the role of watchful parent, you're in turn enabling her to continue making bad decisions, and then giving her the ability to point the finger at you when things go wrong because she has outsourced her self discipline onto you. Stop accepting that responsibility.
If I were you, step out of this dynamic where she is the child and you are the parent who needs to monitor her behaviour. That is not a healthy relationship dynamic. It's very trauma based and leads to mutual resentment.
Be her boyfriend. Don't accept the role of strict parent. That's unreasonable and extremely childish of her to expect. Let her waste her entire day. Let her lose sleep talking to her friend. The consequences are hers to deal with, not yours.
“if something is bothering me i have to tell her that very second or she gets annoyed”
this is not a red flag, this is a glaring red billboard.
this is a power play, a controlling stance, you can't reason with her because her end goal, consciously or unconsciously is to make you feel inadequate and for her fragile little ego to get a fleeting boost
I think it’s fine, you’re a single mum, so probably a bit more mature than others your age.
Just take things slow, don’t combine finances or move in together at the start.
Your bf is medically ignorant. UTIs are super common. I used to have them all the time. My doctor called it honeymooners cystitis because a lot of women get UTIs from frequent sex which causes friction on the urethra and it doesn't have anything to do with bacteria. You are not an unhygienic pig. You have a very common health issue and antibiotics will resolve it.
Your bf sounds like he'd be a jerk about something else if it wasn't this. I hope you get rid of the bf and the UTI. Feel better soon.
Um this is borderline rape ????? Leave him immediately.
I’m fine guys
Ok good. Disaster avoided
his mom told me she was manipulated and unaware of the situation
So either her son told her about the abuse and she chose not to believe him, or he felt that he couldn't tell her about the abuse because he knew it would do no good. And she couldn't see the abuse for herself.
Also you say “technically” he was abused, as if he's exaggerating or this particular brand of abuse doesn't count.
And now he's in exactly the same situation with you – First his mother told the child “Okay if it did happen, it wasn't that bad, and you're just over-reacting.” Now his fiancee is belittling the experience and denying him a voice all over again.
I'm amazed he even bothered to tell you he's considering breaking up. In his situation I would have just dropped contact with you as well. On the positive side, you seem to value your relationship with his mother more, so you can keep her in your life.
I’m going to tell you something and I really want you to listen listen to sad songs and get in the headspace where you really get a chance to really feel all of that emotion maybe even write some songs yourself or perform them in that kind of stuff right get hobbies then OK then listen to better music more upbeat music go out to bars or clubs and be around other people the worst thing that you can do right now is be quiet and be by yourself
No specific person was named in the message. It was completely generic – just someone who works at “x” company.
Wow drama Queen much?? This is behavior for a 15 year old girl friend. Send her along
I just wanted to add; deciding to go NO CONTACT with someone related didn't happen overnight. It took SO MANY TRIES to repair the relationship and it was always one sided and being told “you misremembered” “that didn't happen” and being completely invalidated didn't happen once, it happened EVERY SINGLE TIME. It took courage, it took humility, it took accepting that we might just become the black sheep in the family because they are SO GOOD at being someone else for everyone else. We LONG FOR what “normal” families have. We WISH we could be normalized. From now on stop asking those who go No Contact with their parent why- and start to wonder how a PARENT could fuck up SO BAD their own child wants NOTHING to do with them.
I can say with a high degree of confidence that HR is not interested in a he-said, she-said game of telephone regarding OP's wife, OP's wife's coworker, and OP on the subject of a non-work event
Your advice is a good way to set OP's wife's career at this company back a few steps, though.
I can say with a high degree of confidence that HR is not interested in a he-said, she-said game of telephone regarding OP's wife, OP's wife's coworker, and OP on the subject of a non-work event
Your advice is a good way to set OP's wife's career at this company back a few steps, though.
Of course leaving him would be the best decision. He has zero respect for you or your relationship. Is that really someone you want to be with? Cheating is full-stop behavior.
I have a few friends who have been in unhappy, sexless relationships for 5+ years where they're partner just isn't sexual with them at all. They are unhappy, they feel unwanted, unloved, and yet… they stay. They try and fix things, try and work on things, but nothing ever changes. Some of them the sexless part of the relationship started VERY early on, like under a year. and yet they still stayed.
It's insane how many people stay in relationships with people who they aren't sexually compatible with. I think it's because our society really demonizes people who end a relationship over a lack of sex.
Let him go. From all the information you provided this sounds very controlling and manipulative on his part.
You should be able to go out and have a fun time with friends or family without being hammered with text messages trying to get a negative emotion from you. Heck, most guys would love some time apart to do their own thing.
Him wanting a divorce sounds like the best possible guilt free outcome
Can I send you a message?
LDR from the very beginning is very difficult. This is making it even harder to work out. I don't think this is worth it. You will grow insecure, and anxious about this, and even in a very fortunate scenario where they remain only platonic, your doubts will likely sabotage the relationship anyway. Not that anyone could blame this situation is not good.
So yeah, I don't think you should continue it.
Then I texted him to see if he wanted to go on a date. He said would love to, but then he never answered after that.
This is probably a silly question but after he said he'd love to, did you follow that up with an actual moot for a date?
Good! Tell your husband it's not his business. Let karma take this guy down. It'll happen sooner or later.
All of this! I had the ex who, whenever things went wrong got angry and blamed me. On my second date with my husband we had a middle-of-nowhere outdoor activity snafu, and the way he reacted so calmly, making sure I was safe and treating me as a partner in the solution rather than the cause of the problem, was so eye-opening. I’d have married him on the spot, too.
Speaking from personal experience and observations of literally everyone I've known since my teenage years, I can assure you most 17 year olds are not physically fully developed, some of them may have reached their adult height, but hips, shoulders, butts, chests, waists, body hair, etc. are seldom done developing by 17. Hell, most men I know didn't have chest hair or were able to grow a beard until their mid-twenties, my chest was still growing until I was 24, my hips didn't become noticeably wider until I was 20.
So no, people are not physically fully developed by 17. A 17 year old can absolutely consent to a relationship, but it doesn't make the relationship appropriate, or make the fact that a whole ass adult approaching a relationship with a literal teenager and high school student okay.
Lol this was my nickname for my gorgeous cat Circe (2003-2020 RIP). She purred so loudly it was like a machine, so we said she was a cyborg kitty sent by Skynet! Her mission- to purr! Hence she is the Purrminator lol
And in those law firms how are women looked upon? Equal or just sex toys? What you are describing is toxic work environment where does who don't want to participate are ostracized and then there could be lots of different things that younger female employees could be made to do for senior partners.
And these are really not likely her friends.
And yet she spends so much time with them instead of with her husband and now she can not even spend her birthday with him. If I were him I would not even care if she is having an affair with one of her coworkers (or more) but would be initiating divorce and looking for somebody that would like to spend time with me, not disrespect me and have her priorities straight.
please take the top comments advice! if he is trying to assert dominance or “put you in your place,” which it seems like he is, you need to leave his ass. its so much easier and quicker to leave a mommas boy than change one. your future mil will always be in control, and anything she says no matter how true will override anything you say. if she disapproves of you at any point, one word and your boyfriend is leaving you.
protect yourself and your happiness/health
The thing is, you can love your mother and your partner equally. The love between a mother and her son is very different from the love between two significant others.
And the most off putting fact to me is this was so unprompted. If it was an argument or something about his mother I personally might understand, but this was literally so out of left field
You are not personally responsible for anyone's happiness. You need to let her be aware that the way she's acting is not conducive to a healthy relationship. She very much sounds like someone who is deeply unhappy with herself and her life, and is using you and the relationship with you as a way to emotionally support herself.
Hey – my girlfriend of 4 years has had some pretty bad episodes in the past and this situation you’re describing is pretty much spot on. Reverting back to a child, slamming doors etc. thankfully I saw a post similar to this on here a while ago and there were people in the comments saying that it may be BPD (borderline personality disorder). If your girlfriend also had a rough upbringing then it’s worth looking into.
Since my girlfriend got diagnosed it’s I’ve been able to have true forgiveness and understanding. I’m with her the whole way through
I don't understand why, it's not even the wife who has a problem.
Well, I don't want to label or out the boyfriend…but what he's describing is demisexuality.
It doesn't sound like he knows he's demisexual, so his using confusing language doesn't surprise me. He probably doesn't understand it all very well – he probably just knows that he isn't feeling what most people describe when they talk about sexual attraction.
This here.
I take one pill a day for my epilepsy. I think epilepsy is a pretty serious thing, but I guess I was wrong!
I really hope one day you learn that you shouldn't let anyone treat you like this and that that day doesn't come too late
His request for a divorce is being handed to you on a silver platter. Take it. The marriage you’re describing is horrifically toxic. Please continue therapy to dig into why you felt your marriage was worth staying in at all and to learn to identify your needs for a better future relationship. Good luck! You sounds lovely and deserve way better.
My wife never was very good at socialism
has she tried seizing the means of production?
Her aunt will do it, they got connections.
Ranting here but I seriously don’t get it, some parents would hide their kids if they were wanted, i might not do that but how does someone think it’s right to put their kid through that without a reason
This right here.
Good lord you haven't named a single thing that is worth fighting for. Glaring red flags left and right. Ask yourself this. If your closest loved one asked you advice and named that many abusive, controlling tendencies, would you advise them to stay? It's very hot to analyze for yourself but often becomes crystal clear when we think of others we love and want to protect.
What if you had a grown kid and their partner was like this? You'd tell them to run. You deserve to be treated with respect.
You are clearly incompatible and you're holding her back from what she wants. Break up.
How is it a red flag?
Your husband has a crush and it doesn’t sound like Claire is reciprocating it. You need to tell him what you’ve seen and ask for answers. It’s not appropriate for him to meet up with her without you, as he’s crossed a line.
How does one accept constant disrespect?
People have this idea of needing closure which is pretty much torturing yourself
Your closure is that hes gone. When you look around you he’s gone. That is closure. That is your answer
My suggestion would be to move on not for him but for yourself friend.
You dont need closure, you need to find out how to move forward and grow within yourself.
Find yourself and then find someone who loves you for you
You sound more terrified of being alone than you do of being without him
Only reasonable answer, everyone else's I've read is spiteful and screaming “red flag, red flag, run! RUUUN!!!”
But that's normal in this sub so idk what I was expecting.
For sure. If people really want it to work they'll make changes and if they don't then to me they knew you weren't happy and that the relationship was potentially on the line then maybe they don't value it like they should.
It’s really sad to read this because I was in a situation very similar to this when I was younger and I was the girlfriend but my boyfriend didn’t stop the behaviour that I blamed for “making me like this”.
Firstly I can imagine the beginning of the relationship being absolute bliss until you made these comments about other women in front of her. Our relationship was the same until he was liking and commenting on half hot womens Instagram pics. I basically reacted the same way your ex did and became increasingly distressed by his on-line activity which spiralled the whole relationship downhill and my behaviour got worse.
Your ex isn’t enjoying treating you like this and she isn’t enjoying feeling this way trust me, she probably doesn’t even know that her behaviour is abusive. I believe she does love you but cannot or doesn’t know how to move past what she perceives as a betrayal. You will always be the bad one no matter if you didn’t sleep with anyone else on the break because “you betrayed me first so everything I do is justified and I can sleep with whoever I want” because “we wouldn’t even be in this situation if you didn’t screw up the first time”. She wants you to hurt like the way she was hurting and this is why I’m saying she probably doesn’t even realise it’s abuse because she probably thinks you deserve to feel bad for what you did.
Ultimately she is the one who needs therapy, she needs to learn how to deal with these feelings and release them because nothing you can do or say will ever “make up for what you did to her”. She has formed some unhealthy coping mechanisms that she thinks will protect her in the future. She has low self esteem and is self sabotaging because she is scared of you doing anything and hurting her again so she is giving herself an excuse by behaving this way that if anything happens again, she can blame herself because it’s easier to blame yourself than have your trust broken by the person you love and have to question your own self worth and why you were never good enough. No matter how many times you say sorry or tell her why you did it, until she learns how to deal with her feelings this relationship isn’t going to work.
I had an ex who’s mother specifically asked him on multiple occasions if he loved me or her more and if he said me she would storm around the house in a mood and just blank me – I did on-line with them. Don’t stay with a boy with mummy issues, they will always pick the mother over you and you’ll just find more and more problems down the line.
YOU should get TF away from him ASAP. Don’t wait for him to divorce you, run.
Let him go love! I promise you there is way better out there that will treat you the way you deserve and won’t cause you mental turmoil!
Backup of the post's body: Normally I don’t ask for advice on-line but I’m in a messy situation and I’m hoping you can leave some advice in the comments, thank you. So a bit of back story, been with my current gf for about a year now. We met each other at my local Starbucks where I asked her for her number because she’s beautiful. We went on a few dates together and became official not to long afterwards. We have a Happy relationship etc. When I first met my girlfriends sister she gave me her Snapchat which I didn’t think much of. Every once in awhile she would text me and we would have conversations. Overtime she started getting flirty with me but at the time I didn’t reciprocate. I’ve cheated in previous relationships and I promised myself I wouldn’t cheat again.
One night about 4 weeks ago my girlfriend invited her sister to stay the night at my apartment. We all hung out that day and had a great time. I woke up around 1:30 thirsty. I went up to go get a cup of water. My girlfriends sister was still up watching Netflix. She made conversation with me and I sat down on the couch and we continue talking. She started getting touchy with me and one thing lead to another and I’m sure you know what happened. We were careless and didn’t use protection. In the morning we both agreed it was stupid and we would keep our mouths shut so we don’t break up the family.
I thought life would continue on as normal but recently she came to me and told me that she’s pregnant. She’s positive it’s mine since she hasn’t been with anyone else for the last 2 months. I was shocked and felt anxious hearing the news. She says she wants to keep it but she has no idea how to tell her family and she fears that this will ruin her relationship with her sister and family and thinks that she should just pretend she doesn’t know who the father is.
Although I don’t feel ready to be a father I don’t like this idea as I want to be a father to my child. I feel like I should tell my girlfriend the truth but at the same time I will feel responsible if the family splits up. Her parents are already of skeptical me due to me being 30, though they commented that I didn’t look 30. Im not surprised as my girlfriend initially thought I was 22 when we first met. I also love my girlfriend very much and I know this will probably end our relationship unless there is a way for me to forgive her. Advice on how to break the news to her?
Have you still been making time for yourselves? Like going on dates and still like that?
You may be feeling indifferent because you don’t care anymore. Time to go.
Truth is you don't know. Some people will hide their insecurity quite well.
Yelling at her isn’t healthy and it isn’t helpful. It’s abusive behavior. It’s not something you want to be teaching your kids either.
I don’t know why you’d assume she was taking care of your son. You didn’t even know where she was. And your son wasn’t in danger. He was in peed pants for a few min.
The baby in the bed thing is more of a concern. A baby could fall off the bed and be injured. But I’m not sure what leaving would do to make things safer. And that seems like a pretty extreme reaction to a minor one off issue.
If she’s that tired, maybe there’s more going on and she needs to talk to her doctor. And maybe on weekends you two should swap who gets up with the kids so that each of you has a morning to sleep in.
Closure? You need closure after one date?? You sound wildly insecure.
I guess he doesn't really love you then.
This because my fiancé is taking my last name since I didn’t want to take his and he’s not close with his fathers side of the family.
OP literally said that her friend took on debt because of him.
Nothing to do with combining finances. But with being cheated on twice over.
….ur saying it as if fathers, uncles, grandfathers and male relatives aren't gonna watch theres daughter, granddaughter, neice (whatever relation they have with them) graduate ??
He’s a miserly parasite, you’ll never be happy with someone who leaves u on the brink of poverty whilst he’s salting it all away
He’s a miserly parasite, you’ll never be happy with someone who leaves u on the brink of poverty whilst he’s salting it all away
I think maybe it’s better to move on. I don’t see how things will ever change.
I think maybe it’s better to move on. I don’t see how things will ever change.
She doesn't want you dragging down her game.
You fool.
Welcome to the future, cunt.
The duration is absolutely blowing my mind. She didn't get drunk and makw out for a few minutes and feel bad. They took breaks to stretch their hands and just kept going at it wow
I can't imagine being so petty about money, in my house I'm the only one who works at the time because daycare is outrageous, so everything goes into one account and we've never worried about it even when she was working. To each their own I suppose.
Citing facts you and others don't want to hear is not my problem. I will continue slicing through misinformation whether you like it or not.
Baggier clothing means oversized. I have a baggy pair of pants that are xxl and would slip without a belt still baggy. Seems to me your the one grasping at straws with op purposely not saying how much she gained and you trying to find ways to minimize it with no proof but la gauge you try to twist to put OP’s partner on a bad light. The irony
So you started dating this guy on the rebound, committed to him after an ultimatum, and moved in with him despite having concerns. You should let this man go. He clearly envisions a different relationship and life than you do. It's okay to admit you're not compatible but it's not okay to waste his time.
The best thing you could do is talk to your brother. This way, there won't be any misunderstandings. Yes, it could ruin the surprise, but you also said neither of you really wanted to have a party or do anything big this year. You have, mostly, the same friends and you work together. If anyone will understand it's him and whoever the girl is, she's playing some weird game, inviting you as a guest to your own twins' birthday party.
Haha ofc it’s his way of showing his affection towards me it’s cute ?
Info: where do women find men this gullible?
Asking for a friend.
Talk before the party. Brother may want to hangout with his twin.
Friend, she is not borderline abusive, she IS abusive. This is not the right relationship for you.
What in the clusterfuck is this
Exactly. Find people who appreciate you.
Idk either in his defense I think he’s just unlucky
Yeah that's going to be a “NO” for me, dawg.
Not sure why you’re assuming I hid it from him.
You told him after you booked it
I've shown him the idea before, booked the other day
And he wasn't happy about it but you still booked it.
You are still debating it on the internet rather than just talking to him about it.
I pray no one loves me like this!
And if we stop expressing love through words and actions and remain friends is that still wrong? We did that for 10 years.
I think this is different depending on whether something just bothers you or if she did something wrong. Seems like she’s wrong regardless though.
If something just bothers you but she did nothing wrong, then I can see why she’d want to know so she can stop. But it also is incredibly selfish to make the issue about her being a victim bc she didn’t know sooner. As long as you aren’t blaming her for doing it in the time between noticing and mentioning it, then I don’t see the issue.
If she did something wrong, this is a red flag. I shouldn’t have to tell someone they did something wrong, and they definitely don’t get to make me the bad guy for not going out of my way to mention something asap when THEY were wrong.
This is manipulative. Everyone should get to have conversations on their terms, not just her. And she puts you on defense when you have an issue. I would explode if i had to explain myself every time I voiced a concern in a relationship. That means you never get to address your concern bc you’re busy defending your timing.
I wonder if he’s been traumatized before from seeing certain things in the internet?
As someone who takes a testosterone booster and has reacted in the exact same way as your bf, I suspect that he is acting shitty towards you because he’s annoyed by some of your behaviors or simply not happy with who you are. It made me act this way towards my wife and upon some deep reflection it was because I really didn’t like who she was.
Is he distant towards you? Did you tell him you want to spend more time together? (If that’s what you want) I feel like there’s more to this
In a world where he wants to salvage things, what consequences do you envision?
You let your mom pass in peace, and then you just turn into Mr. Freeze er mrs.freeze. all warm emotion toward that cheater GONE. that's if you can think you can handle it. Otherwise, tell your mom and rip and tear.
He's not 5. He knows exactly what you meant and he's crossing boundaries.
Trust yourself. I’m just a stranger on the internet. Married to a man who also had never experiences those kinds of thoughts. If you really deeply feel like this is man you would leave your 1 year old alone with at his absolute angriest than you might be safe. But if you don’t feel like you could do that; you better figure it out.
Good luck, stay safe. Listen to your gut ❤️
Honestly I wish I knew my worth since my 6+ relationship was disregarded so easily for sexual gratification. Coworker in this case
I know the age gap was going to get a side eye, but if it helps I'm the youngest he's ever gone and all the other ex's before me were his age or older?
Focus on your Mother. Period. You are going to have a very rough road in front of you. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
I would change him for another man
“Hi B, I know that you share the Bond of all Bonds with D, and that you're also sharing the d with D because while you may see me as a complete fool, Im also not a stupid person. I would not want to cross any boundaries, however I DONT have to share your d with D because, as they say, there are plenty more fish in the sea. Done being your side piece, have a nice day. Lose my number because Im losing yours.”
delete and block aint nobody got time for this clown. Especially you, right? Right. Dont let this clown make a fool of you.
“Hi B, I know that you share the Bond of all Bonds with D, and that you're also sharing the d with D because while you may see me as a complete fool, Im also not a stupid person. I would not want to cross any boundaries, however I DONT have to share your d with D because, as they say, there are plenty more fish in the sea. Done being your side piece, have a nice day. Lose my number because Im losing yours.”
delete and block aint nobody got time for this clown. Especially you, right? Right. Dont let this clown make a fool of you.
If you don’t feel like yourself or safe in a relationship, leave!
I’m not mocking her emotional maturity or others in their early twenties? My point was this ex was the one that usually happens in your early twenties that is usually really messy and painful. I had that. A lot of people have had that. It’s pretty normal since that’s the first big one where you’re out on your own/drinking/social life and all the stuff that matters in you’re early twenties and it gets messy. Again. Pretty normal and not knocking anyone who has had that happen. But a lot of people have had that and know what I’m talking about.
Anyways. The point isn’t about an instagram follow. It’s the context in which it happened. In a relationship that has a history of always being open and forthcoming when an ex or past fling reaches out. In that context it is strange that she didn’t mention it to me and also took an action on it. And thus there was something else up she wasn’t telling me.
And not to my surprise we talked about like 10 minutes after I posted this and I was right. There was more too it. She was ashamed she did it and she did it because it was a painful relationship and she wanted him to see how much better than him she was doing now since he hurt her at the end of their messy and emotional relationship. And she didn’t tell me because she was ashamed she did it in the first place. So. There ya go.
You are right, I'm still trying to improve my trust issues. We talked about it already. Seems like i really need to get better
I didn’t allow it. I didn’t know it was happening in the first place.
This OP, what you really need to think is why this time is going to be different, what has changed? You didn't resolve any of the conflicts that supposedly lead to her ending the relationship.
You really need to have a series of serious conversations with her about this. Do not be afraid to go deeper into the matter, she shows you once she xan leave you, what is going to cha ge that this time?
Boo sounds like your bestie is not the bestie. She might be struggling with the shift in roles or a reversal so instead of addressing her own insecurities she’s lashing out in passive aggressive ways. Some bonds are codependent and some thrive on their supposed superiority. Was she the more successful & fit one in the past pre diagnosis and medication? Are you sharing that spotlight with her now? The fact her husband babied her instead of aligning with you (& himself) in defense of adderall not being some magic bullet says a lot
Here's the thing, though, he's pretty manipulative and really good at lying. I feel like confronting would cause more issues than it would solve. I absolutely would love to tell her but I genuinely feel like he would find a way to twist the situation make him seem like he's done nothing wrong.
Lmfao I did I wrote it on a notes app on my phone and then copied and pasted it here and it didn't do it.
I think it's just done tbh…
My mother insisted on calling my youngest Finbar instead of his name. I let it go for a while but I eventually told her she wasn't welcome if she can't use his name . She started using his name,it's so disrespectful to not use someone name
Why? It doesn't matter, it's done, everyone moved on except you. Now it's time for you to get with the program too.
Thank you for your response, I'm still working it out but so far we have a lot in common and get along really well. I will see where it goes but so far no red flags although I will keep an eye out for them
Yes but my sex drive still works.. just not w him
Because he’s comfortable and makes you feel good. I bet he probably treats you well and give you unconditional love. You can like someone without being sexually attracted to them.
sexual feelings can be totally disconnected from those things. Sometimes we can be more sexually attached to people who are cold to us and make us chance them. Human sexuality is pretty fucked.
Yes but my sex drive still works.. just not w him
It sounds bad, but you would have never know if she didn't tell. You still need to talk to her as following 6 guys to their home doesn't sound like the brightest or safest idea. She could have just walked away, do you know her friends?
Dude doesn't even brush his teeth. He's probably gonna expect a baby to stay in a dirty diaper the whole day because he changed it this morning so it shld be okay.
I mean you're kinda making my point for me so much it's almost hilarious, if this is supposed to be a gotcha then I am a BAD person to ask it
You are assume I am a straight cis monogamous man by my profile pic I'm guessing. I am a bisexual leaning on pansexual, polyamorous, nonbinary person who has had and will continue to love being a bottom for men and women (most of which are friends that I am open sexually with).
If my partner told me they wanted me to have gay bottom sex and then a threesome with them and their girlfriends I would think I've been extra good they would want me to have so much fun.
Now again…what's the endgame?
I agree! OP send this man back to his mums house, because she hasn't finished raising him yet! You need a grown man not a toddler in a man's body!
I am in the same situation, I am proud of you stay strong my bro, if she begs don't fall for it
So you pick childish men, and then you try to raise them into adults.
What was your childhood like? Sometimes if we had a fucky childhood, as adults we recreate that dynamic and try to “fix” it.
Were you given a lot of responsibility early, by immature parents?
Idk, maybe coping the same way I did?
Not at all. You were clarifying what you felt to be her misunderstanding of the actual situation. If the thought of that happening to her daughter is traumatizing, then it isn’t okay (not that it is under any circumstance).
I think that is just part of normal conversation for me, like I if I explain a complicated situation with many people involved I might occasionally say at the end “so imagine if your mom said so and so about your partner… how would you feel?” Which is also what she berated me for and found disrespectful.
The “snowflake” and picture were just jokes.
I did try this. And he keeps asking follow-up questions, like, why aren't we together anymore, why can't we just play anyway, can we just play very very quickly for x minutes. I'm embarrassed to say I lost my shit and yelled at him ?
That’s what I told him but he got mad at me and told me it was my issue that I need to work on. That just confused me more and I’ll admit I wasn’t nice and told him this definitely his issue and he’s being an AH to me.
He’s the first serious guy I’ve been with but no, no other guy in the past has made me cum without the vibrator
OP this is a more common thought from a partner than you may think. Being uncomfortable with the thought a clear boundary and reasons for such. Then inquire why he would ask for something that could damage your relationship. Now take all the information gathered and work from there. You are young and these thoughts happen but can be dealt with achieving positive results.
Look at this from his POV. You had a promising new romance going, you told him about your vacation and he was super-happy for you, he texted that week to let you know he was thinking about you and to find out how your trip was going, and got back…nothing. Tried again…nothing. It was probably easy for his brain to start manufacturing all sorts of bad scenarios for why you would suddenly ghost him, after four successful dates. I don't see his increasing growing frustration over the course of the week as a red flag. I think I'd probably feel the same way, and text a final angry F-U breakup text if something similar happened to me.
If I were in your shoes, I would reach out to him. Explain about the SIM card, and apologize for not even thinking about the possibility that he might try to text you during your time abroad. Add that if things don't work out between you, you are not the ghosting type – you will thank him for the good times you've already shared, and say a proper good-bye. End it by saying that now you are home, you'd love to get together so you can tell him all about your amazing vacation.
It may not work, but if you really like the guy, it's worth a shot. Even if he doesn't want to date any more, at least he'll know what really happened and that you didn't intentionally ghost him. When in doubt, always do the thing that's kindest.
Either way, it's a good lesson for the future. Make sure any romantic interests in your life still have a good way to contact you when you travel.
I refuse to believe its that black and white.
I’m very anti 21 year old girls dating 33 year old men so yes
Then your wife is the problem
This is the first smart comment you've made so far.
I had an ex tell me her doctor recommended she do them to strengthen muscles (bladder maybe). Apparently her pregnancy give her issues with incontinence.
Then you surely would have no issue in correcting me with actual data instead of calling me racist right?
Yeah, she’s put a circle around it saying it’s hers, not an activity she wishes to share despite his thinking it’s a good idea. I don’t get all the vitriol.
Or… she's just not that interested in the links he's sending or wants to spend time with her family not check out an instagram post?
That’s true, but again, she has no evidence that he did that.
For all she knows, he clicked on some woman’s Instagram? That’s it.
Holy shit calm down. It’s been less than 24 hours. Send her one – ONE – text message saying you had a great time and you’re looking forward to seeing her again. Ask her what looks good for her. Then wait.
If you freak out you’ll do something weird and freak her out too. Just take a breath.
My wife’s made of honour bailed on our wedding a week before the date. She had to travel from another province to attend our wedding. She agreed to be made of honour knowing she was moving away. It started with “I can’t stay for the whole weekend, it’s too expensive”, to “I have to leave right after the ceremony”, to “my mom and aunt were over and they got got a stomach bug”, then finally to “we got the stomach bug too” a week before the wedding. My wife, thankfully, isn’t friends with her anymore.
OP I’m glad you’re ghosting this person. It’s better to just get these types of people out of your life and focus on the people who actually are honest and put effort into a friendship with you!
I think it’s time for him to solve some of his own problems. You can’t fix things for him forever. I’d separate and extend it for as long as you’re comfortable so he can work on his health insurance issues. Perhaps he’ll go back to his mom’s and figure things out there.
Do everything to avoid him. I am male but also know one guy friend who is terrible at communicating and some of the things he has said to women ? don't make sense. Like he can sound like a stalker. Block him.
Dude, sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. With your family. Your girlfriend sounds to good for your family and sounds like she had been through a lot. I’m not sure what she went through as a child, but I feel like I have an idea based on how you said it and why should she be defined on the sins of her parents? And then your mom questions her before telling you she lives on drama? No, your mom seems to on-line on it. Then your brother is being such a people pleaser that he’s following your moms beliefs. Your family is now manipulating you which is classic abuse. Just from the way you let them talk to you in this post, it sounds like you’ve been a victim of abuse your whole life and this is just normalized? Your girlfriend has made attempts to find a middle ground but your family is just itching for a fight and you don’t see anything wrong with it while making attempts to appease her. Let me just say from personal experience, you need to make a stand. Make your decision, it’s them or her. One of them needs to be cut off. I haven’t spoken to my dad in almost 9 years. Hopefully your family can get the message and make efforts to be better, but you can’t let your girlfriend continue to take this abuse. Either cut them out of your lives, or let her move on to someone who will support her the way she supports you. Good luck OP.
That sounds like a fucking keeper. What a king ?