I (23M) was just diagnosed with oral gonorrhea, but I didn’t cheat on my partner (24F) of over 1 year

I’d been feeling rough for the past 2 weeks and finally went to an urgent care when I had come to the conclusion that I must have bacterial tonsillitis after I had seen white stuff at the back of my throat. Much to my shock and horror, I was diagnosed with oral gonorrhea after getting swabbed. (Editing this part since I gave false info due to a misunderstanding on my part) She went in to get tested under the assumption that she had been exposed to tonsillitis or strep throat and she was additionally tested for other infections as well just like me, but she got negative results across the board. (I got confirmation about the test results).

Some things I need to make very clear, we both have severe trauma/trust issues due to cheating and it was made clear that if either of us felt like we needed more sexually than we could get from each other, that we were open to being a more open relationship as long as it was discussed. We’d only have a problem if it’s secretive and not communicated in a clear healthy manner. With that said though, we’ve enthusiastically made it clear that we’re both more than satisfied with just each other and regularly confirm this just so we’re both on the same page.

So if we both have no reason to sleep around behind each others backs, I know that I’ve never been with anyone else while we’ve been together and I genuinely believe that the last time she was with someone else, was with her ex like two years before we even got into our relationship, then how the hell did I contract oral gonorrhea

We both understand that it shouldn’t be possible for her to have gotten it years ago and not only stayed asymptomatic and healthy, but only just now infect me with it after over a year. We also understand that I couldn’t have gotten it from my ex a year and half ago and just now am showing symptoms.

I truly have nothing to gain from going behind her back and only have everything to lose if I were lie and sneak around instead of just saying I need more. I could tell that it was extremely difficult for her to let herself believe that I’m telling the truth when I say I genuinely don’t understand how this is possible and that I have never and would never betray her trust by cheating behind her back.

We can’t find a single answer for how this could happen, every post anyone makes anywhere describing the same situation just gets responses stating that either their partner is a cheating liar or that they are a cheating liar posting to help cover up their cheating. It feels like I’ve been cursed by god with an impossible infection just so that my life will fall apart. What are we missing, it feels like we’re chasing the final piece of the puzzle, but it’s always faster than us.

I just want to know if anyone has experienced something like this and knows if somehow she had it long term without knowing and only just gave it to me or somehow unsanitary sexual practices and/or improper toy cleaning could have led to this? This genuinely doesn’t feel real, but I know it is and I’m honestly scared of what this will do to our relationship going forward.

Edit: I’m going to clear a few things up here.

First, the reason I’m so confident that she’s not cheating is because we genuinely spend every single moment of our free time together every day, I know that might sound ridiculous to some people, but if we’re not working, we are always together mostly spending our time at home. We both have access to each other’s schedules and actively go over them to coordinate our days together I can easily confirm if she was lying to me and vice versa. Although we are open to being open if needed, as embarrassing as it is to admit we are two very socially inept autistic people and we genuinely were only able to get together because we’ve been best friends for over 6 years, we don’t even have friends anymore at this point in our lives because people tend to lose interest in us so quickly. Part of why we’ve put in so much work into our relationship is because we both see each other as the only person who’s ever not made us feel like an alien. I just don’t see how it could even be possible for her to get in a situation where she could cheat if she tried, we even both have each other’s locations shared at all times because we both also have extreme anxiety about each other’s safety, if one of us isn’t responding after our shifts, we can see that the other is either leaving work late or just still on the road. There simply isn’t any opportunity for her to go sleeping around and before anyone suggested, all her coworkers are middle aged to elderly women so I’m not concerned about while she’s at work either.

Second, and this is just because I think it might be relevant information (sorry if this is tmi), but when I was in my previous relationship, near the end my now ex had invited her to share a bedroom with us and only afterwords did a lot of things come to light that make me believe my ex had been potentially sleeping around and may have given my current girlfriend asymptomatic oral gonorrhea. I’m not saying that this is what happened, but I’m just trying to throw in any context that might change anything (also yes, I am fully aware that the circumstances of this bit are weird)

She has been fully cooperative with me on this and has made it clear that she’ll do whatever is required for me to trust her (including getting fully tested on everything) and she has nothing to hide. But I’ve been feeling like I’m the one who should be under the microscope even though I know I haven’t been with anyone either. Even though I knew most people would just accuse the partner that wasn’t the one making this post and move on, I posted here because I desperately am trying to find someone who will both humor us and have a reasonable explanation even if it’s an unlikely one. Most of my disbelief doesn’t come from “she loves me too much to ever do this to me“, it comes from not making any logistical sense for how she could’ve cheated on me even if she wanted to.

TLDR; It’s impossible for me to have oral gonorrhea, but (only) I do, we have no reason to lie to each other and are confused.