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Are you the doormat he is treating you like??? Your two cats have been with you since they were kittens so they are family now and I'm presuming that you have had them vet treated to prevent pregnancy and trained to have them not marking their territory indoors. Cats are SO funny and affectionate at this stage of their development it would be inhumane to separate them, and especially at the insistence of a disloyal partner. His contention that YOU would have to pay a higher rent for your apartment when he arrives with his cat doesn't make sense. Are you seriously THAT desperate for a partner/bf that you would sacrifice so much for ???? He is clearly not worth your love or your loyalty, but there is someone out there in the real world who is, and in the meantime you will always have your feline family.
Simply tell him to clean his piss up or better yet go in the bowl! If this is a problem for him you may want to pack your bags.
Updateme!
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I and so do many people struggle with insecurities. Yes, but now Im especially feeling it. Like I mentioned I started gyming and was feeling a lot better about myself. My insurance has been wonky but I would consider therapy for other things. Its just the last few days it seemed like he wasn’t into me and didn’t wanna do anything at all but watched videos as soon as I left.
It sounds like you are feeling concerned about your relationship and that your partner's behavior is causing you stress and anxiety. It's important to have open and honest communication with your partner and to seek support if you are struggling. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and to make time for self-care. If you need help managing your stress or working through your feelings, consider seeking support from a mental health professional.
Your needs are not less important than his. Stop being worried about disappointing him. Stop worrying about hurting his feelings.
This is also a problem with some kinky people. Once they divulge their kink to their partner, they only ever want to have the kinky sex they enjoy, forgetting that their partner doesn't enjoy it as much as they do.
Also, by NOT speaking up, you're essentially telling him that you enjoy the rough sex too.
“Honey, I really love you and I love having sex with you, but the sex has gotten too rough, and I simply can't take it anymore. I didn't speak up before now because I didnt want to disappoint you, but now I'm constantly sore and in pain, and I don't want to get to the point where I dread having sex with you. I'm not judging you for the fact that you like rough sex, I'm simply saying that we can't do it very often because I physically can't handle it. I think we're going to have to save it for special occasions from now on. How do you feel about that?”
I am curious: what do you think gives your husband the authority to demand your obedience? To my view, a married couple are both adults and neither owes each other obedience.
I think you may need to do some therapy or internal work to recognize yourself as a fully grown person with moral agency who doesn't need to obey rigid, ignorant old men just because they're married to them.
Your instincts towards your kids are loving and wise. Listen to them.
I don’t think your mother needs to be informed about your sex life. Is that what you’re asking? As long as you’re with someone who respects you and you’re both being responsible about your health, you don’t owe her a discussion about it.
I would also never have a play date without your wife there. Melanie could very possibly be using the kids play dates to get closer to you. I'm sorry but IMO buying your child a gift is weird and to much.
Again. It’s the way she said it. And it’s also the response she made to one of my comments where she said, “
Info: How quickly did you begin supporting her and her family financially?
That’s really not a good way to start a long-distance relationship. It creates a real power imbalance and it can lead to you being financially manipulated. You’re creating a power imbalance by offering that money, regardless of what is being done with it. It can become something they depend on and a motivating factor for continuing the relationship.
You also need to really stop and think about the reality of what the visa process is. My husband is American, I’m not. Signing up for financial responsibility of another human being is a huge thing, especially when you both don’t actually appear to know each other on a deep level.
This doesn’t sound like a relationship where it’s worth taking that risk. She literally gives you one word answers to questions while in bed with you and was really dismissive of your friends. You’re recognising jealousy issues, and she has a past history with foreign boyfriends ghosting her…numerous LDRs isn’t a green flag. You have to stop and ask yourself, “Why has this person been in so many relationships with foreigners?”
It’s also quite clear that she isn’t using the money you’re giving her to further her career, learn new skills or build a life for herself. Why would she? You’re supporting her and her family. Do you really want the actual financial risk of a visa process with that situation? You have to trust someone to make amazing financial decisions when you’re responsible for them.
Honestly, none of this sounds like the healthiest relationship to me.
Thank you! I thought it was a bit odd. I just like when people are original and it kinda rubbed me the wrong way
It’s not like it’s her cat. It’s literally gunk that cleans her head. Which btw, expensive obviously doesn’t mean good as there are allergens in it.
She’s awful and inconsiderate. I would immediately throw out anything that hurt my husband
This all sounds like she got into vibrators and porn while away from her boyfriend. A pretty normal thing for someone who isn't having consistent sex
He doesn’t add anything to humanity except a bad smell when he has not showered or changed his clothes in 2 weeks.
uh. as the child of an alcoholic, he's setting the example whether you are “letting” him or not.
but no, I didn't speak directly to my wife and ask if she was okay.
I literally cannot comprehend this. She’s your wife, and it never occurred to you to just ask her what was going on? You went behind her back to talk about her, but for some reason you didn't think to talk TO her?
I swear, 90% of all relationship issues could be solved if people would just use their grown up words and talk to each other.