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To be honest this is why I will never date someone who has children.
But again, not all separated couples do this! My ex and I are still working on trying not to sleep together. It was the only good part of our relationship so stopping is difficult for us. It may be different for their situation, especially since he’s moved on to you.
Knowing this and holding that boundary is great. It saves so much heartache for everyone.
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He verbally assaulted her!! You’re asking what she did to deserve the abuse. You need to reconsider your career path.
H yeah… I know this terrible story…
Look OP, I get where you're coming from maybe more than other people commenting here. But as someone who does shower at night, I imagined how I'd feel if someone made it a rule that I shower first thing in the morning and I really balked at that thought. I am not a morning person so getting up 30 minutes early to appease them and not feeling clean at the end of the day before bed would rankle me. I might do it out of kindness for my partner but I'd privately resent it a little and maybe come to the same point your girlfriend has come to, where she feels burdened by it especially because she has just watched you spend a few days not being overwhelmed by it.
I would say that it might be time for you to go see a doctor and change up your sheet-washing routine. If you two are in this for the long haul, you're expecting that she upend her hygiene routine for literally the rest of her life, and that's a big ask.
Some of your post reads like you feel the relationship is imbalanced in general. If that's the case, you need to focus on that and have a discussion about it. With showering, I think you can find a compromise that doesn't make her feel like you're setting rules for her body.
Good move. That’s borderline unstable behavior.
Just say it's over and walk away. Doesn't need to be another teen movie
Nope. He has proven that he will lie to you to protect his own ass under the guise of not hurting you no matter the impact to your physical or mental health. What if he gave you something incurable? He took away your autonomy to make informed decisions. Unforgivable.
Don't you wonder why no one closer to his age is with him? It's wonderful to be put on a pedestal and treated like a princess. But life is not a disney fairytale!
He has a child the same age as you. Eewww…He could be your father!! He's your manager. I'm sure he's done this before. This is also not good as he's in a position of power. Why would he not be interested in having sex with someone so much younger? He's doesn't have to put in much effort to impress someone who is young.
Find someone your age and enjoy dating. You are young. This is your chance to explore what you would like to have in a future Mate. Don't settle for an old guy that will need meds to have sex in a few years.
Would you rather spend your life with your crappy rude, homophobic, audistic (hates deaf people) husband or work things out with your children. Your husband sucks and you know this and you are losing your children over his abusive behavior. You have one life to live you don't get to do it again.
Her mental health is not her fault, but treating it is her responsibility. That could mean therapy, medication, or both. It could mean inpatient treatment for a period of time to get her stabilized. But her violent behavior toward you is not something you are obligated to endure.
You say that she takes medications that don't “allow” her to take antidepressants. Who told you that? What are these medications that make antidepressants contraindicated? Or does she just not want to be on medication to treat her mental health?
The fact that she just lied saying that you hit her (assuming you did not hit her) is incredibly concerning, as well. That type of (allegedly) false accusation could lead to very serious consequences for you. (And I say that as a 40F survivor of years of domestic violence from a former partner.)
My advice would be that she is not in any way, shape, or form mentally stable enough to be in a healthy romantic relationship right now. She needs to seek help and treatment before you should ever be alone with her again, if ever.
I consider it rape to lie to a person to het in their pants, because they consented to sleep with another person.
She violated you. It’s up to you to decide what that means but if you were a woman and he lied about being married, I’d call that rape by deceit.
I'm gonna make a guess that since you became a mother hes treating you the way he saw his own mother being treated This speaks to the way he disrespects women
So you saw each other almost every day for a year and in all that time he was able to hide his kids? He couldn’t have been a very involved dad then. I wouldn’t want to be with someone like that, and that’s not even taking into account the HUGE red flag that he didn’t tell you about them. Also considering how close you are in age to his daughter, yeah it’s creepy. He took advantage of your youth and naïveté. Someone an appropriate age for him wouldn’t put up with this BS.
I'm glad you mentioned other women's experiences because I had a mom exactly like this woman who would make me the problem and I was her only daughter and surprise surprise we don't contact each other that much
I never understood why some parents have blatant favoritism
Dude, you were fresh meat and she’s officially gone. You really thought she was going to give up a career on your say so? I’m pretty sure she’s made a lot of sacrifices and put in a lot of nude work to get where she is. She barely knows you!
Let her go because you have proven not to be a guy who can support her.
Listen. Sure it may have been an accident, but even a shove in relation to something emotional is bad, it indicates a lack of control. You clearly can't tell if this was an accident or not. You feel this might be a one off because it's never happened before.
He might be really sorry or worse acting like it shouldn't matter because it was playful. Excuses or denial.
Okay so if you don't feel 100% on those details explore this:
Losing at something with your partner shouldn't create massive resentment or annoyance. Generally I prefer it when my partner wins. I like to see her beat other people (myself included). Evaluate those feelings, do you get angry with your partner when he wins?
I'm not talking about bad winners. Not about sore lovers either. Sure if you or him are one of those then it spins it quite a bit. But even a sore loser, should in reality be able to handle losing gracefully to someone they love. If not, then it just means winning is more important to them and tbh I'd suggest never playing with them again or better still, find a more mature partner (emotionally not age wise).
He doesn't sound like a partner. He sounds like someone who expects to put effort into work only and success in everything else will just come along with it.
Yes, he absolutely needs to deal with his PTSD, and also his adultery.
And while being in public wouldn't be idle, a bunch of people have made their cheater call or tell family in person if that is a boundary for their healing/remorseful.
Just an option. Definitely not good to suggest that OP rugsweep the affair. That doesn't solve adultery.
It’s only been 6 months and there’s already this much drama… no-just no, it’s not worth the drama
Calling your own kid “it” is wild bro.