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That is cheating big time
There are twin and adoption studies that suggest a genetic influence so itâs understandable that sheâs worried
she is pretty codependent honestly. and itâs kinda why i barely saw my friends over summer. i love her to death but i donât wanna be with her 24/7 round the clock.
imo people like this dont get better. i once asked my ex, during some rough times, that if he wasnt as attracted to me, would we still be dating? and he said, we would have never started dating. ouch!
foot in mouth disease is near incurable. i would say cut your losses before youre more attached.
So what youâre going through is completely understandable, but I think you might have an avoidant attachment. Itâs when people avoid being fully vulnerable in a relationship due to fear. And interestingly, it will always make the other partner insecure. And this is where us women usually go like âWOW SO NOW THAT IâM NOT INTERESTED HEâS INTERESTED FUCK MEN,â but really itâs just a relationship dynamic. I think you might be interested in someone whoâs attracted to emotionally unavailable people, and this is something that could be due to his upbringing e.g. his caregivers were emotionally unavailable therefore heâs attracted to emotionally unavailable people â and that requires him to work on these issues with therapy, or at least debunking his beliefs on his own.
Iâm not sure if you want to be in a relationship with this guy from what youâre describing him as. From what youâre describing as you being insecure itâs actually healthy to have those needs and wants in a relationship, so I think youâre actually just with the wrong partner to begin with. Lying is a huge no-no boundaries crossed that shouldnât be accepted, and emotional safety as well as words of affirmation is a standard that should be met in a relationship.
Keep in mind that if you want to make this relationship work though, he has to be honest and put in the emotional relationship work in order for you to want to be vulnerable and committed again. He needs to be self accountable and also focus on your wants and needs to be met. Knowing where youâre at right now itâs not a fun place to be. Iâm sure you wish you were in a lovey dovey relationship where you feel safe and know that your partner loves you very much, and I just hope you get that.
He cheated. Iâm assuming of course but new behavior as shitty as this could simply be projection of guilt and is using small petty things to easily have an out. Divorce him. In a healthy and functioning relationship you never threaten to break up or even end yourself, it is manipulative.
A healthy and functioning relationship is âhey Iâm very very hurt and angry at the problem, but not you. I need to take a breather. Give me ten and weâll talk about it.â
Someone who touches you sexually without your consent, or against your explicit instructions, is not a good person. Everyone is responsible for their own choices, so him saying that you influenced him to do that is false. Its a manipulation tactic.
You should stay away from that guy, and probably should take a break from dating or hooking up, in general. This situation is not your fault, but it is a sign that you may be falling into negative patterns with dating predatory men.
Iâm not sure whatâs really wrong with, the cable.
Embarrassment makes people laugh. It seems that its the elephant in the room if we are to believe OP, so it seems not unreasonable that she would be embarrassed, relieved, weirded out that they were finally talking about it. Not a in a bad way, just in a taken by surprise way.
Talk to your doctor, but I know there are more options than the pill (and arenât there several pills?), condoms and tubular.
You should be experienced enough in life to walk away from insecure men. The most dangerous type of men
Twice?!?…well well well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions…
Dude fr. Their entire relationship foundation is based on a lie
100%
Most countries is 18.
Honestly I thought AMC and Gamestop were funny memes. Put down 150 on each, and then walked away. Honestly have no clue how the money is doing, because I know if I watch it like a hawk, I will be sucked into constantly gambling on it. I just put in money I wasn't afraid to lose and moved on.
If he does it again, I'm done. I believe in second chances, but a screw up after that means the end of the relationship. If I see a pattern its over?
I am not sure I find him all that attractive after this. It feels like Iâm mothering someoneâs child.
That's fine, so you know you need to end the relationship. You just want different things which is totally fine. Also, you're not selfish for wanting to spend time with your SO, he is being selfish by prioritizing his gaming release over his relationship. Which is another indicator that the relationship should end. Video games have likely been his stress release for a long time, so you have to be realistic when it comes to expecting someone to change. If you expect him to do a complete 180 that's just never going to happen.
Being sad and looking for a convenient solution is never a good reason to start a relationship, much less return to one that has already ended for a good reason.
Ask yourself this. If you met another woman tomorrow that checked all your boxes, would you rather take a shot with her? Or still try again with your ex?
What happens a year from now after you have gotten back with her and you meet that girl? Do you ignore a shot at something fresh and new to continue something that deep down you know probably isn't going to last? Do you drop your ex because you no longer need a placeholder?
At the end of the day it's your decision, but unless you are confident you have both grown enough to overcome those core issues you are just setting yourself up for repeated failure.
The fact that you can sit here and say a 24 year old is too young to be married proves that the person here who isnât bright is you.
A bad marriage based on evidence, fine, Iâll give you that. But based on their age? Youâre a moron
His insecurity wonât serve a long term relationship, you have to rethink about it , would you really wants to stay with someone like that the rest of your relationship?
I think where the understanding needs to come in; nobody disagrees that she was free to make that choice.
But you're going to have a naked time finding people that will also agree that he isn't supposed to have personal boundaries about her conduct.
Even if she's blameless, he's allowed to feel differently about his dynamic with her because of her choice in this intimate nature.
It's not that she's done something inherently wrong, but that he isn't wrong for feeling slighted by the lack of communication, or ultimately being uncomfortable that it happened.
It kinda just sucks for everyone involved in a case like this. Potentially well meaning intentions that have understandable but unexpected potential consequences.
She's free to do it. Absolutely. But he's free to have a problem with his feelings getting past it. Maybe that's insecurity, maybe that's the boundaries crossed.
Removing blame from the equation, everyone in this situation still has understandable positions and feelings.
You say if you'd found out sooner you would have left him, but when you DID catch him sneaking around behind your back, you wrote it off in less than a week when he proposed. Not gonna lie, but those alarm bells were ringing all the way to the church.
But regardless of how you got here, you're here now, and you're unhappy. He broke your trust, and this time you can't move past it. The way I see it, trust is the most important part of a relationship, and if you can't trust him then it's over. Get out of there and let this be an opportunity to learn.
A couple of friends of mine (a guy and an overprotective mum) were arguing about strictness, curfews etc.
Her: I won't let my daughter near boys and they can't sleep over because they might have premarital sex.
Him: What if she's a lesbian?
Her: visible signs of everything she thought she knew coming crashing down around her You could almost see her eye twitching as she processed it.
Well you've told her. She won't change.
You don't want to break up with her.
So; this is your life now. Good luck.
I would also find them less attractive after finding out they are fake because I am super against major cosmetic surgery unless medically needed. It would just kill the joy I find in them.
I want to do it. I really do.
It's just getting started. How do I explain to her that this is really it this time? No more chances, even if she promises to do everything?
How do I make her accept my decision? What do I do if she keeps calling me 50 times begging for another chance?
Iâm so sorry, unpacking this with a professional might be useful. Your mom failed you
Nope. No contact.
Once again (why is this so common??) being bisexual does NOT give you an exemption on cheating if itâs same sex.
You are in a monogamous relationship. It is cheating if either of you gets intimate with anyone else.
Do not stay with a cheater. They do not change.
Whatâs the insecurity with regard to gaming? Or is it nonspecific, and you also donât like him having (for example) coworkers who are girls either?
Think sports. Yup, sports.
Thatâs rough. I hope you make the decision thatâs best for your daughter and leaves to run for happiness
So I've read your comments you obviously recognize, or are beginning to recognize, that he is emotionally abusing you, and if so, he will do so and probably is to your children. You need to get out, start saving money, go into therapy on your own, and stop being apologetic about your husband's behavior. I see too many of your comments trying to defend him, and you need to realize if you don't change the situation you are directly responsible for how he influences amd treats your kids.
Only one thing going on that shouldn't be.
I know what it's like to join a gym with predominately young hardbody members. We all notice each other in passing. We are all working naked to look good, and we unconsciously do just what you do – compare ourselves to others. We are also conscious that others notice us.
The trainers are more noticeable, cuz they're always there, and they're the fittest of the fit. The trainers are more alert to everything and everyone than ordinary members, cuz its their job. They're on the alert for both problems and opportunities.
As for his “crush,” why do you assume they're into each other? Before you came, the two of them had a year and a half to act on it. And now he comes to the gym with you, no longer alone. If he had a choice, he chose you. I think your femme fatale gets the picture, whether it ever mattered to her or not. FWIW, that picture will change if you quit this gym, and he goes solo again.
The thing that shouldn't be going on is that when you look at the other members and compare, you feel like shit. This is common enough for a beginner, but after 7 months, your discomfort with the unfamiliar and intimidating should be over. And you're tighter now than when you began, right?
He needs to go to the doctor
She sounds like a horrible human being. Why do you want to be with someone like that, who looks down on others?