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Emotional cheating is a thing for sure. My ex did this. Your feelings are valid.
I’m sorry but you have shitty taste in women. A and your girlfriend both sound like arseholes. You’d be leaving one idiot for another.
You were on a break for 3 months? Did you agree ahead of time that you’d get back together? Did you set rules that neither of you would sleep with anyone else? If the answer to those is no, then he really didn’t do anything wrong. If the answer was yes to them, then he essentially cheated.
You need to decide if this is something you can accept or not. If you are having trouble getting over it, but don’t want to end things, then I have one word for you. Therapy.
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We have been together just under a year now so im not going to leave just due to this
Then you are an idiot and you are about to have your heart broken. You're 18, still basically a child. A year is not a long time for a relationship. If she ends up going without you, there will be many more women throughout your 20s who will be desperate to have you, but only if your respect yourself enough to know your own worth.
Don't sell your soul to the first girl that gives you a bit of attention.
“Finally he reached back out and explained that the girl convinced him to go back to her but that he was for sure done this time” – hoover
“I told him to come stay with me until he got on his feet” – you lied to him, he used you for money, you believed he'll love you
“I quit my job because he said I had his support” – you were naive
“So rn he says he's just staying with my until I get back on my feet” – he's so nice! A keeper!
“he wants to work on rebuilding our friendship before we go any further” – so sweet of him
“I'm really confused about what happened” – I believe you, I would be confused too
“where we go from here” – separate ways?
This is what happens 80% of the time when someone who's dumb enough their government JUST started letting them drink dates someone more than a decade older.
At the end of the day, if you sit down together, have the hard talks about your relationship and what you expect from each other (knowing this expectations will change) and still want to be together THEN DO IT.
You are 20. You are an adult. You can have a relationship with him if you like. Other people may not like it but is the relationship for you two or for others.
15 years can be a lot and you should expect that your goals are going to change. Just like his will. A health couple goes into a relationship knowing and working through it.
There is a 10 year age gap between my husband and me and we met/started dating when I was 19/20. I look at my relationship now and think “there is nobody else in this world I would rather be with.” We really do complements each other regardless of the age gap. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it.
Does an age gap make it harder? In some ways. It also makes it easier in some ways as well.
Look deep. Think rationally. Do what makes you two happy. And if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t work. It won’t end the world and marriages within the same age range also have problems.
You need to tell her, but you also do still have options.
Unfortunately, it seems you're not able to have any biological kids yourself, but donors are always an option.
I'm sorry you've had to receive this news, it sucks and may well change plans. But it doesn't have to stop plans. Be open and honest with your wife, so you can decide the next step together
Devils advocate, but I personally would not delete my profile if I got into a relationship. I mean, of course I want any current relationship I’m in to work out and your boyfriend does too…but life doesn’t work that way all the time. Shit happens. And having to recreate the tinder profile every time a relationship doesn’t work out just sounds like an unnecessary extra step. The fact that you saw him put his account in incognito mode and delete the app should put your mind at ease though.
break up.
You are allowed to want better sex and his defeatist, lazy, selfish, and jealous, attitude to his issues says that he doesn’t care about your pleasure at all. At your age, you should be having lots of wonderful sex and working out what is good for you but I’m afraid you are never going to get that with this man, not because he can’t, but because he couldn’t be bothered enough about your pleasure to try. He is unlikely to change with marriage.
Divorce do not stay
Wondering, what part of his body “she gave a thorrough talking to”.
You’re entirely right about my perception on twins. I really hope this just ends on a good note. I really really hope the girlfriend isn’t trying to start something , especially since she knows how tight brother relationship.
Both I guess. I’ll make it more clear in the post.