Thank You. I actually texted him from work the following day (while he was sleeping) and told him that I was done. I dont follow through. It’s so tricky- really about our living situation with my kids- complicated but I’m realizing it’s leaning on co-dependency side.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
In the US, if you have a debt, after 7-10 years it will fall off your credit report. But if you call anytime to discuss the debt in that year range, the clock restarts and it will go back to another 7-10 years.
Since OP was already paying them and in Germany, it probably didn't do anything. But if she was months away from the debt dropping off just for the Mother to restart the clock, she would have ruined it for her and messed everything up. That's why only a professional or the debtor should be dealing with this. Not a boy and his mommy.
He has a son and he wouldn’t kill himself because you left him. If he would even consider leaving his son without a father means he has a serious mental illness that you can’t help anyway. You see it as a choice between him or your parents, but you said one thing that tells the truth. “I want my freedom.” That is what you need to concentrate on. You think he and his son need you and your parents and sister need you. But what do you need? Choose that. If you think he is in danger of self harm, talk to his family and make them aware of it. But you need to make yourself happy first.
Well if you can trust him, you trust him to not engage. Don’t worry about her, it’s not about her, this about how you boyfriends responds to her going forward. Talk to him about you concerns, let him know you’re feeling uneasy but don’t accuse him of anything, just be honest.
How is OP basically a kid when she’s supposedly the same age you were when you started dating your wife? But then again I’m 31 and can not imagine dating a 26 year old because there’s a lot of changes and growth that happens in those years as well. There is a massive difference between 18 and 26 or at least there really should be so I’m not sure how you’re comparing these places of life. An 18 year old is just barely an adult.
I agree with all of this, it's just to me if a person approached me about being interested in me while I was in a relationship, once I say that I am in one that'd be it.
Like my intention was very clear. I like her and wanna get to know her to pursue a relationship. To me it just seems strange that anything more happened after her being with someone was clarified because of the fact that I was clear about why I was saying something to her
That doesn't mean op has to stay in a bad relationship. He can support her as a friend. What if some guy was suicidal but he was making bad relationship choices? You'd advice the girl to leave him right? That's the case here as well.
And op's girlfriend has crossed far too many boundaries. It's very hot to believe she called her ex to “talk”.
His only interactions in person or through text are sexually charged. His only texts are constant harassment of unwanted dick pictures or requesting nudes of her. He does not take no for an answer. Why on earth keep responding? That truly sends him a message she will keep engaging him.
She wanted you to have been a virgin at 24? I mean, there's nothing wrong with waiting until whenever someone feels comfortable to have sex for the first time, but it's a bit of a big ask to expect someone not.
Also this indicates that she does not respect your bodily autonomy. Would your private masturbation be her concern too?
Is she some kind of bible banging weirdo or something? Where does this even come from to begin with
She wanted you to have been a virgin at 24? I mean, there's nothing wrong with waiting until whenever someone feels comfortable to have sex for the first time, but it's a bit of a big ask to expect someone not.
Also this indicates that she does not respect your bodily autonomy. Would your private masturbation be her concern too?
Is she some kind of bible banger or something? Where does this even come from to begin with
Yeah because I get up with the baby all night and I’m exhausted. I have small gaps of time when the baby is napping to choose between sleep, shower, or cleaning.
Idk I suppose I am in the minority here on reddit, I don't mind making small sacrifices to suite the preferences of my wife, she doesn't like the sensation of a full beard, so I am simply don't grow it out. Would it be nice to do so at one point ? Sure, but I'd rather please her.
That being said I wouldn't go out of my way to say stuff about I didn't like unless it really affected something. Obviously he is in the wrong for the comment, but I don't think catering to your SO's preferences is a bad thing
Thiiiis was the comment I was looking for lol. Without fail , when people (men) make posts like this , it follows this formula:
Post: My wife won’t have sex with me anymore , sad face 🙁 how do i convince her to fuck me ?
Comments : well are you sharing chores/responsibilities/mental labor ?
OP : oh yeah I do everything that only takes one day out of my week !! 🙂
lol bro …. Your wife went back to work after being a SAHM for years , and your complaining that checks notes your sex life hasn’t been what you wanted for 5 months … and that she made a friend ???? You sound pathetic , and you are acting like a child.
It boils down to you not trusting her. The reasons why he's around don't necessarily matter, she had a set boundary and has shown she will uphold it with her past actions. It isn't about the other guy or “respect”, it's about trust. Cheating requires partipation. So, ask yourself, do you trust her not to cheat on you?
I'll also add, you can't stop someone from cheating. Either they will or they don't. You can't control them (and yes demanding your partner remove someone from social media is controlling), you can either accept them as is or find someone else. You can't tell her not to be friends with someone, you can only decide you don't want to be friends with someone who stays in contact with their exes and end the relationship
KISS-keep it simple sis. “This relationship isn't what I'm looking for. It's best if we don't stay in contact. Best wishes.”
So ask her to do it more.
So?
Generally only lasts up to a year
I'd just wait for 20 minutes, then leave her behind.
Wow, that sounds strange and obsessive to me from afar. How are you certain?
Thank You. I actually texted him from work the following day (while he was sleeping) and told him that I was done. I dont follow through. It’s so tricky- really about our living situation with my kids- complicated but I’m realizing it’s leaning on co-dependency side.
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In the US, if you have a debt, after 7-10 years it will fall off your credit report. But if you call anytime to discuss the debt in that year range, the clock restarts and it will go back to another 7-10 years.
Since OP was already paying them and in Germany, it probably didn't do anything. But if she was months away from the debt dropping off just for the Mother to restart the clock, she would have ruined it for her and messed everything up. That's why only a professional or the debtor should be dealing with this. Not a boy and his mommy.
I want to get to know him but I also want to go out when he’s back
If he was washing off some smell it would still be in his clothes
He has a son and he wouldn’t kill himself because you left him. If he would even consider leaving his son without a father means he has a serious mental illness that you can’t help anyway. You see it as a choice between him or your parents, but you said one thing that tells the truth. “I want my freedom.” That is what you need to concentrate on. You think he and his son need you and your parents and sister need you. But what do you need? Choose that. If you think he is in danger of self harm, talk to his family and make them aware of it. But you need to make yourself happy first.
Is this the same wife you wanted to leave 2 years ago or did you get married to someone else?
That it’s not real gold. You have to show them your finger.
Well if you can trust him, you trust him to not engage. Don’t worry about her, it’s not about her, this about how you boyfriends responds to her going forward. Talk to him about you concerns, let him know you’re feeling uneasy but don’t accuse him of anything, just be honest.
You two are in your 30s. You're qualified adults.
If this is a decision both you and your partner want for yourselves, then go for it.
You'll be 2 hours away, not countries away.
How is OP basically a kid when she’s supposedly the same age you were when you started dating your wife? But then again I’m 31 and can not imagine dating a 26 year old because there’s a lot of changes and growth that happens in those years as well. There is a massive difference between 18 and 26 or at least there really should be so I’m not sure how you’re comparing these places of life. An 18 year old is just barely an adult.
I agree with all of this, it's just to me if a person approached me about being interested in me while I was in a relationship, once I say that I am in one that'd be it.
Like my intention was very clear. I like her and wanna get to know her to pursue a relationship. To me it just seems strange that anything more happened after her being with someone was clarified because of the fact that I was clear about why I was saying something to her
That doesn't mean op has to stay in a bad relationship. He can support her as a friend. What if some guy was suicidal but he was making bad relationship choices? You'd advice the girl to leave him right? That's the case here as well.
And op's girlfriend has crossed far too many boundaries. It's very hot to believe she called her ex to “talk”.
His only interactions in person or through text are sexually charged. His only texts are constant harassment of unwanted dick pictures or requesting nudes of her. He does not take no for an answer. Why on earth keep responding? That truly sends him a message she will keep engaging him.
She wanted you to have been a virgin at 24? I mean, there's nothing wrong with waiting until whenever someone feels comfortable to have sex for the first time, but it's a bit of a big ask to expect someone not.
Also this indicates that she does not respect your bodily autonomy. Would your private masturbation be her concern too?
Is she some kind of bible banging weirdo or something? Where does this even come from to begin with
She wanted you to have been a virgin at 24? I mean, there's nothing wrong with waiting until whenever someone feels comfortable to have sex for the first time, but it's a bit of a big ask to expect someone not.
Also this indicates that she does not respect your bodily autonomy. Would your private masturbation be her concern too?
Is she some kind of bible banger or something? Where does this even come from to begin with
Yeah because I get up with the baby all night and I’m exhausted. I have small gaps of time when the baby is napping to choose between sleep, shower, or cleaning.
No definitely in public this man is unhinged.
Idk I suppose I am in the minority here on reddit, I don't mind making small sacrifices to suite the preferences of my wife, she doesn't like the sensation of a full beard, so I am simply don't grow it out. Would it be nice to do so at one point ? Sure, but I'd rather please her.
That being said I wouldn't go out of my way to say stuff about I didn't like unless it really affected something. Obviously he is in the wrong for the comment, but I don't think catering to your SO's preferences is a bad thing
If he was being honest he wouldn't have reacted so strongly lol he got mad defensive and decided to gaslight you
5 months & he’s doing this. This relationship isn’t worth continuing.
Ok I will do this. Thank you
Thiiiis was the comment I was looking for lol. Without fail , when people (men) make posts like this , it follows this formula:
Post: My wife won’t have sex with me anymore , sad face 🙁 how do i convince her to fuck me ?
Comments : well are you sharing chores/responsibilities/mental labor ?
OP : oh yeah I do everything that only takes one day out of my week !! 🙂
lol bro …. Your wife went back to work after being a SAHM for years , and your complaining that checks notes your sex life hasn’t been what you wanted for 5 months … and that she made a friend ???? You sound pathetic , and you are acting like a child.
It boils down to you not trusting her. The reasons why he's around don't necessarily matter, she had a set boundary and has shown she will uphold it with her past actions. It isn't about the other guy or “respect”, it's about trust. Cheating requires partipation. So, ask yourself, do you trust her not to cheat on you?
I'll also add, you can't stop someone from cheating. Either they will or they don't. You can't control them (and yes demanding your partner remove someone from social media is controlling), you can either accept them as is or find someone else. You can't tell her not to be friends with someone, you can only decide you don't want to be friends with someone who stays in contact with their exes and end the relationship