But you’re going along with it. Amy isn’t the only one here making decisions. If you really wanted your gf there, she would be going or you wouldn’t be going with Amy. Plain and simple. No girlfriend would be ok with you going away with another girl that didn’t want her there!!! Common man, you can’t be that dense! Have you never been in a relationship before?
You barely knew this guy when you fell pregnant and had a kid with him. And children do not make relationships more robust. You clearly feel very insecure about things because TBH, there's not a lot of evidence that you are a very close couple (and it sounds like this child was unplanned). But him not posting about stuff like his child on social media is not going to change that.
It sounds like your BF is struggling to adapt to the reality he is now living in. But you also need a support network right now. Have you tried to talk to your BF about how vulnerable and alone you are feeling?
Been there and this is a nude situation. There's loads of possibilities some good, some not so good.
First my advice. You texted her once already. Now give her 24 hours you can try to reach out again. After another 24 hours, aka day 3 I'd send a message saying something like
hey ____, had fun hanging with you and your friends the other night. I thought we clicked but I guess I was mistaken I was hoping to get to know you better but since you're not answering I'm feeling like a (weirdo, creep, whatever) so I'm going to back off. No hard feelings.
I figure after three days if someone doesn't respond they weren't all that interested.
Worst case scenario, she has a boyfriend and in her drunkenness she gave you the wrong idea, or she's super friendly when drinking but more introverted when sober.
Best case scenario, she was drinking and didn't save your number so she's wondering who the person texting is, or she has a crazy job/school schedule she saw the text but out of sight out of mind forgot to respond when things calmed down for her.
Who knows, these things are a serious gamble. Be respectful, be respectable, don't say or do anything you might regret. Understand when to walk away.
Don't let yourself get friend zoned as in don't let yourself be tortured by being friends with someone you have a crush on and just end up seeing them date someone else or becoming great friends but still crushing and it killing you inside when they cry on your shoulder when another guy breaks their heart. Many guys have been there. If you legitimately like her, walk away. If you just thought she was really cool and didn't have massive hopes for a relationship then go ahead and be friends if she's in for it. Just be honest with yourself. For both of your benefits.
OK so you didn’t plan it in advance but you did it anyway. So you still did the activity. It’s like a little date. I understand you didn’t plan it in advance. It just happened.
Inform the group about you being unable to attend physically farther on.
If you feel the need to do so: inform the team leader abput how he treated you.
If he does that with you he does this with others.
Which should exclude him from groups, simply.
Then block.
He has already drawn way too much attention from your healing process or the process of somehow coping with what is.
What more is: he stressed your wife. Who didn't need or deserve this on top.
Once you are done informing the group: block him on every account.
If he dares aplear at you door: call the police.
And then eraze all his numbers.
Turn message alerts of that group chat off, if you haven't done already.
You are not in a condition to cater to anybody elses needs, nice as that hobby may be.
Hobbies are there to make our lives more fun. Not less.
Feel hugged. I feel for you. I lost both parents to cancer.
My father faught his last chess tournament when already very sick and in pain.
My mother found herself in a si.ilar position as you did. Having been made secretary of an official army tradition club she helped found.
It ended being more than her declining strength and health allowed her to do. But she also had to learn that the nude way, to find a way to step down from it disregarding other peoples weird expectancies.
About what she should do. And how she should handle things.
I know you said he called you jealous and paranoid but that's an extreme reaction that probably comes from guilt.
He’s clearly lying. Entire story is suspicious. Wake up. You seem to be defending him in the comments but everyone else can clearly see he is shady.
Move on. It seems like you had no intention of telling her until you found out they got engaged
But you’re going along with it. Amy isn’t the only one here making decisions. If you really wanted your gf there, she would be going or you wouldn’t be going with Amy. Plain and simple. No girlfriend would be ok with you going away with another girl that didn’t want her there!!! Common man, you can’t be that dense! Have you never been in a relationship before?
You barely knew this guy when you fell pregnant and had a kid with him. And children do not make relationships more robust. You clearly feel very insecure about things because TBH, there's not a lot of evidence that you are a very close couple (and it sounds like this child was unplanned). But him not posting about stuff like his child on social media is not going to change that.
It sounds like your BF is struggling to adapt to the reality he is now living in. But you also need a support network right now. Have you tried to talk to your BF about how vulnerable and alone you are feeling?
How else is she supposed to pick up dudes?
Been there and this is a nude situation. There's loads of possibilities some good, some not so good.
First my advice. You texted her once already. Now give her 24 hours you can try to reach out again. After another 24 hours, aka day 3 I'd send a message saying something like
hey ____, had fun hanging with you and your friends the other night. I thought we clicked but I guess I was mistaken I was hoping to get to know you better but since you're not answering I'm feeling like a (weirdo, creep, whatever) so I'm going to back off. No hard feelings.
I figure after three days if someone doesn't respond they weren't all that interested.
Worst case scenario, she has a boyfriend and in her drunkenness she gave you the wrong idea, or she's super friendly when drinking but more introverted when sober.
Best case scenario, she was drinking and didn't save your number so she's wondering who the person texting is, or she has a crazy job/school schedule she saw the text but out of sight out of mind forgot to respond when things calmed down for her.
Who knows, these things are a serious gamble. Be respectful, be respectable, don't say or do anything you might regret. Understand when to walk away.
Don't let yourself get friend zoned as in don't let yourself be tortured by being friends with someone you have a crush on and just end up seeing them date someone else or becoming great friends but still crushing and it killing you inside when they cry on your shoulder when another guy breaks their heart. Many guys have been there. If you legitimately like her, walk away. If you just thought she was really cool and didn't have massive hopes for a relationship then go ahead and be friends if she's in for it. Just be honest with yourself. For both of your benefits.
OK so you didn’t plan it in advance but you did it anyway. So you still did the activity. It’s like a little date. I understand you didn’t plan it in advance. It just happened.
Inform the group about you being unable to attend physically farther on.
If you feel the need to do so: inform the team leader abput how he treated you.
If he does that with you he does this with others.
Which should exclude him from groups, simply.
Then block.
He has already drawn way too much attention from your healing process or the process of somehow coping with what is.
What more is: he stressed your wife. Who didn't need or deserve this on top.
Once you are done informing the group: block him on every account.
If he dares aplear at you door: call the police.
And then eraze all his numbers.
Turn message alerts of that group chat off, if you haven't done already.
You are not in a condition to cater to anybody elses needs, nice as that hobby may be.
Hobbies are there to make our lives more fun. Not less.
Feel hugged. I feel for you. I lost both parents to cancer.
My father faught his last chess tournament when already very sick and in pain.
My mother found herself in a si.ilar position as you did. Having been made secretary of an official army tradition club she helped found.
It ended being more than her declining strength and health allowed her to do. But she also had to learn that the nude way, to find a way to step down from it disregarding other peoples weird expectancies.
About what she should do. And how she should handle things.
This is yours and your wives time. Nobody elses.