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Wow so needing sex for validation makes you a therapy requiring hoe..! I assume needing kindness and caring makes you a bascet case sucker. FFS relationship ships is a package deal and both parties goes into it with what they bring as well as their own needs and expectations. And a hearth can be broken and hurt in many ways, you dont get a pass because you slowly smothered the love to death instead of bringing a hammer
It’s rarely women who do this. You’ll mostly see this done by men who have strange values. They date mich younger often and then when their ass and balls are saggy and the 4th 20aomething wife left them again while their ex wife has a family with kids and holidays, they start whining that women aren’t loving anymore
Ok so by your logic, if she comes home and says “hey I just fucked your brother” it’s fine because she told me and didn’t hide it
Whether she did it or not and whether you cheated or not you both have major trust issues in each other.
You definitely have a decision point to make, are you willing to do the work to rebuild your own trust in her or would you rather walk away?
If you want to seriously do the work on rebuilding trust you need to ask her to make the same choice. If she is willing to also do the work on rebuilding trust you would be best off working with a couple's counsellor.
You can always get a paternity test. I mean it doesn’t make you less of a parent to her but it does mean she has a sister out there somewhere if the test comes back as 99.9% chance you are unrelated
How can she care about me when we've never met?
I did. In the long message I sent I gave an in depth explanation of every thought that went through my head at every moment. She got the message cause it's marked blue but she hasn't replied and I don't know if she read it. It's been around 20 days since I sent the message.
And no I don't think so because Greg's gay and he has a boyfriend plus they know each other for a veeeery long time and I know they are not sexual like that. Looking back now I fear it was really to keep me off the bed.
You need to tell your partner so you can work on this together. If you don’t, this could easily lead to you building up resentment for him, and once that happens, it’s a point of no return.
Girls should never be expected to say they have a boyfriend, guys need to learn to take no for an answer. And if he invites her out, and she accepts, that doesn't mean she will cheat. She is allowed to hang out with other people. None of this means she is going to cheat on you.
you can't unring the bell. what's done is done.
it takes a lot for someone to say to their wife of almost a decade that they no longer feel love for them.
your desire to grow and move forward is all very well. it is also inherently selfish if you don't have concrete plans to change.
congratulations on seeking treatment, which can only be a good thing. by actively seeking you mean you are in a therapy situation? or just looking for one.
Number 2 could likely mean she thinks you are impulsive. You make decisions without thinking ahead to see if there would be consequences.
Therapy will hopefully help. But honestly you don't get into a relationship or marriage wanting the other person to change. Did she really love you?
I see you doing a lot of things to save the relationship and her doing a lot of nothing. One person can't save a relationship.
Why is divorce not an option?
I thought it was a pornstache not pedo.
Honestly, Mark is either lying or clueless. And Eva knows exactly what she’s doing and Mark is happily playing her game. You deserve a better friend and a better boyfriend.
Just watch – in a few years, Eva is gonna be home wrecking marriages.
Jfc, they were kissing.
Acid + alcohol is like being pickled while having fire ants invade your brain.
I'm surprised that either of them were cogent less than 24 hours afterwards. Like, this is stupid, but it's definitely not worth scorched earth.
It's amazingly apparent from this thread how few people have actually done drugs. Hilarious, and pretty fucking embarrassing for everyone who's coming up with all of these incredibly convoluted schemes, like, “OMFG! They've been banging FOR YEARS! YOUR BABY ISN'T YOURS! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!”
Instead of the basic Occam's Razor, which is, “Holy shitballs, drugs and alcohol lead to some really bad decisions!”
????♀️
You do realise that this is her go-to way of getting her own way and dealing with any confrontation in her life? This is who she is.
This will be your life when you are 80 if you stay with her.
Do you have that much energy and that many fucks to give?
First comment I read from you is this?
Already you're giving us breadcrumbs that confirm she's a selfish narcissist.
Are you sure she's really a nice person who made a “long-term, continual/repeated compounding error of judgement” or is she just selfish?
Take a step back and look at it from an outside perspective. Maybe do some research on Cluster B.
Thank you for a very thoughtful and detailed response! I guess I should have mentioned that we have been going on a bunch of those kinds of dates. Art museums, concerts, etc have been a lot of what we do when we are able to get together. We always have great conversations then, so I'll be sure to keep that coming
And that part about communication makes a lot of sense! I guess part of my question is what should I do/be aware of as a boyfriend as opposed to just as a friend?
You can quit but you won't work again.
i felt this way about my mom growing up but it was 4 of us taking care of her and our dad was shit i know it’s not her fault but i can’t forgive her for taking away my childhood
I’m sober. Nobody OD’d because of you or drank themselves into a hole over you. It’s what we do and it has nothing to do with you. You obviously are in a pattern of choosing men with addiction issues. First. Go to Al-anon or Nar-anon. It’s for people who love addicts or alcoholics. You will learn so much. The most important thing you will learn is that you can’t fix these people. We have to want sobriety. I would suggest seeing a therapist. You do not want to build a life with an addict or alcoholic. We destroy everything good in our paths. We lie cheat and steal to get what we need. It’s a terrible life and it never ends well. Leave this relationship. Go to some meetings. See a therapist.
Please do update. I hope all goes well and he's able to set the boundaries with his family that you need to move forward. I truly hope things work out after your meet-up.
Keep being supportive & validating.
I don't know, I'm probably a minority here, but why is this crazy shit? Ok, she was a piece of shit and left. Did we decide that she has no genuine remorse?
Why deprive a child of a relationship with her mother if she truly is remorseful? Who gives a shit what she said to him that she will go for custody. No judge will grant her any custody what so ever. And even before custody is granted, they would have to go through mediator.
Obviously lawyer up, but don't go all nuclear. There is no need to do it until you know her intentions are sketch. For your daughter’s sake allow possibility of the mom having some visitation hours, at least. I don't know all of the details obviously, but I believe in humanity and that people want to fix mistakes they have done in their lives.
He needs therapy as you dont even have a “past”
You lived a normal life where I wouldnt even entertain that word
Oh I see, well I do, but I just wanted to get you know, a prediction from someone outside of the story, to see how it looks on the outside. That's all, but thanks for your help, I'll try to find someone that is good in the field.
This is a dopey version of “would you punch a baby/kitten/puppy for 1,000,000”. Ignore his trolling unless he does it again.