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You're allowed to grow together while being married. Like you don't have to be perfect to want to have the legal protections of a marriage. Why hasn't he brought any of this up until now or offered any ideas for solutions? Like do you even want to get married dude?
To be fair, I noticed it because, while I was scrolling, their comment was literally RIGHT ABOVE the one they stole from lmao.
I read the title and age and know enough already.
Paternity test immediately is essential.
The other thing is, if it is or isn't your child…you don't need to stay with her. You do however need to stand up and be a father if it is your child.
It sounds like you were on the way out before this news.
It doesn't matter how perfect they seem, if you feel like the relationship is slowing down and losing momentum then something needs to be done. And if he won't change, or can't change, in the ways that you would want, then there isn't much of a worthwhile future. However you absolutely, if you love him that much and consider him as a bright part of your life, should try to end the relationship where you can still be friends, it would be a shame to lose a connection like that just because you aren't compatible relationship wise. Just be honest with him about all this, tell him directly and in person, he deserves honesty.
Because practically, many trans people are not safe enough to disclose that information to someone they don't know enough about yet. Too many trans people are assaulted or murdered for doing just that, and I don't think you can blame any of them for being hesitant to disclose.
This guy is an asshole though, because at the point of the act is not an appropriate time!
Do people actually believe this nonsense?
I actually dont you are as “evil” as some other commenters are making you to be. You made a mistake when you were really drunk, it happens all the time. Was it a shitty thing to do? Yes. Does your boyfriend have every right. To ghost you? Yes, if he feels like he needs the space then he is totally justified. But I don’t think you are some sort of monster, you made a mistake, LEARN FROM IT. Don’t let something like this happen again if you value good relationships.
And when you do honor his feelings and take a step back from those physical interactions. Do you feel uncomfortable?
Regardless of whether or not your husband's father is acting irrationally…you need to decide what is most important
Your husband's relationship with his father…or your desire to not adhere to traditional naming norms with regards to marriage and kids
There are a lot of people telling you to let this man walk out of your husband's life if that is what he wants
But none of them are considering the lasting affects that will have on your marriage
And there will be lasting affects
Your husband is going to be affected by the sudden loss of his father. And that will affect your marriage
This is not an if. It is going to happen. It's just human nature after all
It may not be enough friction to end your marriage, but it will permanently change things in one way or another.
So the two of you need to sit down and really decide if your last name issues are worth destroying your husband's relationship with his father and preventing your kids from having a relationship with their grandfather
Older people are set in their ways. So he is not likely to change
So understand…if you go through with the name blending, that's probably going to be it. He'll likely hold this against you and blame you.
That blame will be communicated to your husband
And at some point, he will be resentful that all this is happening because you were so adamant about keeping your maiden name.
Then, at some point, he will start to wonder why you wanted to keep your maiden name but were willing to change your name to a completely new one but not his
Again…this is just human nature.
No matter how much he says he is ok with everything…something in the marriage will change for the worse.
And it may not pop up now. It may be years down the line when someone else's father is being a doting grandpa…and a small piece of him starts to have resentment bubble up
Resentment towards his father and towards you
So respectfully…you need to decide what is most important to you
Your need to not adhere to naming traditions…or your husband's long term happiness and the health of your marriage
Because as I said…there will be lasting affects that you can't quantify right now
And you need to make peace with that
Why do you care? You need to speak to a therapist about boundaries.
Since she doesn't want a commitment, I would move out and focus on co-parenting only. If she doesn't want a real relationship, focus on the baby.
Also … are you sure the baby is yours? I'd do a dna test then, if yes, work out custody and visitation as well as child support.
He's lying.
What you do is get as far away as possible! I’ve had that same thing happen to me before, as well as ones who said separated but husband was either still living there, or very much in the picture. These are women I call jumpers. They test the waters and if you are better or have better assets (money job, or whatever) then they leave their spouse because they don’t want to be alone. Or you just have women who just like having a side man I guess. Either way get away, this could end very very badly, because spouses almost always go after the ones who their spouse is cheating with!
He love bombed you so he could fuck you. He left after he got what he wanted. You should move on and stop thinking about him.
Gosh, I wonder why parents would be leery of the grown adult who impregnated their teen daughter?